Pick one star/celebrity who is not a family member that you would choose to raise from the dead. Upon revival, they assume their form from the moment they died, which means you don’t necessarily get them in the prime of their life. You get 10 more years of that person after you raise them up.
Order:
Drew
Ape
Maj
Flubby
Falco
Ufford
Punter
1. Drew — Jimi Hendrix
2. Ape — Phil Hartman
“You may remember him from such shows as The Simpsons and SNL.”
3. Maj — Sean Taylor
4. flubby — Alex Chilton
“My first inclination is take Elvis or Jerry Garcia. But they were both miserable sons of bitches in their latter days so I don’t know if they would appreciate being resurrected. So I’ll take Alex Chilton, that way he won’t miss the Big Star show tomorrow night at SXSW.”
5. Falco — John Phillips Sousa
“Because no one has written a decent march in almost 80 years.”
6. Ufford — Kurt Cobain
“Can I get a Tupac/Biggie combo package? No? Then fuck ‘em both, I’ll take Cobain.”
flubby: “20 minutes later, Cobain kills himself again.”
7. Punter — Marilyn Monroe
8. Punter — Benjamin Franklin
“I think that relationship has a chance.”
9. Ufford — Heath Ledger
“Too many actors are candy-ass fruitcakes, and I want another Batman movie with the Joker.”
10. Falco — Corey Haim
“The world just plain needs him.”
11. flubby — Barbaro
12. Maj — Mitch Hedberg
If I was on death row and given one last meal I would ask for a fortune cookie. “Come on ‘long prosperous life!’”
“With apologies to Big, Pac, and the 10 other comedians on my list. ”
13. Ape — Len Bias
“But only if I can get him out of playing for the Celtics”
14. Drew — Sam Kinison
OH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
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Steve Gaines
/fuck planes
//fuck people who took Ronnie Van Zant before me
Davey Boy Smith, The British Bulldog!
or maybe John Thaw
Holy shit, you people need to learn to use CTRL+F…
Rebecca Schaeffer is my Ms. Irrelevant
I’d like to share a very interesting place with you __Tallconnect .c om __. It brings you gorgeous girls and big tall men together. After checking it,I saw a lot of celebrities there,including many Hollywood stars. It’s a great website to date a beautiful woman or handsome guy there.
can’t argue with ian curtis or john lennon…..probably take curtis first so we could see what else he could do
William Faulkner.
/waits for someone to discover me hanging by underwear from bathroom stall coat hook
//gets gutted in Harlem
With Leather.
Al Michaels. His hastily propped-up corpse really wasn’t up to the task of covering the Winter Olympics.
Marlon Brando, bitch.
Randy Rhoades!!!!
The guy was an all-too-brief supernova
/ But props to stonecutter: Jon-Erik Hexum was an inspired pick
Natalie Wood
all these and no Spaulding Gray?
Mark Prior
Through the whole thing, over two hundred picks and I was hoping to get van zandt. Really? Three picks before me?
Hasn’t quite been 10 yet, but I’m going to go ahead and claim Jean-Michel Basquiat here
Damn, fightoffyourdemons, beat me to it.
+1 Phil and whoever nominated Al Davis.
If we’re going celebrities and not just historical figures, I’d probably go Charlton Heston. But I also reserve the right to go Clint Eastwood when he finally kicks it.
Pre-emptive one for Leslie Nealson
Miss Elizabeth
Wait a minute….Ronnie Van Zandt. How’d he end up as Mr. Irrelevant?
My final selection..
Charles Bronson.
“Marty. Y’know what we got here? Motherfuckin’ Charlie Bronson. Mr. Majestyk.”
G’night.
Rick James, bitch
Darrent Williams.
Alexander McQueen
/don’t need to CTL + F to know he’s still on the board
Alexander McQueen
/don’t have to CTL + F to know he’s still on the board
Cleopatra. She changed the course of history with her skills in bed.
Think of what she could do with, say, the Middle East. Or the 2011 lockout.
/history nerd
WF
@Conrad Dobler
You pair Holmes with my earlier pick of Savannah to make one hell of a xxx film.
Artie Lange.
I’ll take Bradley Knowle
Missed out on some great tunes with that OD
Hillel Slovak, the original Red Hot Chili Peppers Guitarist.
Jim Henson. If he’s been taken, then Madeline Kahn.
Jim Henson. If he’s been taken, then Madeline Kahn.
Brian Piccolo
I just knew nobody would take Kalsu. My mistake
Really, John Holmes is still available, on this site? Welcome back Johnny Wad, now get to fuckin’ again.
Jay Bennett. Then I’d make him reunite with Wilco, tell he and Jeff Tweedy to get along, and have them get back to making brilliant albums.
first pick:
doug hopkins,
the crowd says who? he was the guy who wrote hey jealousy, found out about you, and pretty much any gin blossoms song that was a hit, or was any fucking good…however, he was kicked out of a band named the gin blossoms, after recording their breakthrough cd, and just before they got airplay, royalties, all that good shit that means money. consequently, months later he was selling cd’s from his collection for beer money when the second single, found out about you, was getting alterna-smother airplay especially in the band’s shared hometown…so he offed himself, much less ceremoniously than cobain.
Rumors follow everywhere you go
Like when you left and I was last to know
You’re famous now and there’s no doubt
In all the places you hang out
They know your name and know what you’re about
Whispers at the bus stop
I heard about nights out in the school yard
I found out about you
if there is any motherfucker bitter enough to save the shitty state of music in this millenium, its this guy….all the rest of these fucks can sing about is how the apple store is always crowded.
second pick, i am going to trade back into a future draft, patriots style, for the rights to extend the life of hillbilly heroin junkie hypocrit rush limbaugh…fucker sickles his nerve endings with unneeded pain killers, about ten years extra of extreme pain sensitivity ought to about do the fucker.
Doc Holiday- not enough Old West Boozers anymore
Al Capone- The Mob could really use him right about now.
That’s from “Lenore”
Sorry everybody, I’m older and I have lots of demons to exorcise. Lots of bodies to resurrect and a few apologies in order for drafting out of turn.
Edgar Allan Poe.
‘Wretches! ye loved her for her wealth and hated her for her pride,
‘And when she fell in feeble health, ye blessed her – that she died!
‘How shall the ritual, then, be read? – the requiem how be sung
‘By you – by yours, the evil eye, – by yours, the slanderous tongue
‘That did to death the innocence that died, and died so young?’
Charles Bukowski.
“That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.”
— Charles Bukowski (Women: A Novel)
Plus, he was a local.
Welcome back, Buk!
Thomas Jefferson. That way he can tear Texas a new asshole for removing him from their textbooks.
The midget hanging himself in Wizard of Oz. Dude had tremendous upside.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Alexander Hamilton. Fuck you, Aaron Burr.
William Wallace. He killed fifty men… Fifty as if they were one.
Elliott Smith, Vladimir Lenin, Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Since I’ve missed enough time for this, I’ll make a few picks now:
1. Howard Cosell – Cause we need to bring “erudite” back to sportscasting.
2. Henry David Thoreau – Cause we all need some transcendentalism.
3. John Hughes – Cause…uh, did we really need to see an Amazonian Molly Ringwald at the Oscars?
isaac hayes/chef
Danny Gatton
/Telecaster’d
Houdini
/Escape’d
P.T. Barnum
/Sucker’d
Hugh Culverhouse, sothe goddamn Bucs would never have even had a chance to win a super bowl.
Since I waited all damn day for this, I take three at once and shame on all of you:
Joey Ramone
Johnny Ramone
Dee Dee Ramone
Allah, so I could feed him spam until he assplodes.
George Peppard
/loves it when a plan comes together
Kirsty MacColl. She sang with Shane on a couple of Pogues songs. “Fairy Tale of New York” etc.
Tragic and fucked up story.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirsty_MacColl
Kenny from South Park
Buddy Holly went early, but Ritchie Valens is gonna be my Senor Irrelevante.
Brittany Murphy
Dana Plato
Nicole Brown
I’ll take Terry Fox for a huge steal. He lives another 10 years, he hops across Canada in the most badass way and becomes a world legend, as opposed to just a Canadian legend.
Elvis Presley
Herb Brooks
And WWTD, I’ll take Don Rogers, just to complete the Cleveland Browns Hall of Would Have Been Awesome Had They Just Lived.
Ernie Davis. Talent to have been an all-time NFL back.
Ol’ Dirty Bastard
Hillel Slovak
I’ll go with Emperor Justinian. Aside from going to a strip club and marrying a woman who was famous for her donkey shows, he did a ton of things and could probably have done a lot more with 10 more years.
Marilyn Monroe at 7 is a steal.
Bea Arthur. And if I ever get another pick, Estelle Getty.
Hitler
@ RRJ – does that mean Abraham Lincoln is overrated? I don’t think he was overrated, but he was picked in the first 15 minutes.
John Coltrane. A Love Supreme indeed.
James Brown
even dead, he is still the hardest workin’ man in rock~n~roll
Ian Curtis.
Barry White. More babies would be made.
Great singer/songwriter from my young days….Jim Croce
Mark Twain
Irvin’s Victim picked Lincoln already.