Given Name: Sergio. I wonder if he’s Spanish like that golfer guy. I don’t know much about the Spanish, but I can tell you one thing, their sangria is DELICIOUS! Why drink beer or wine when you can drink a fruit salad with some alcohol in it? I make a mean pitcher of the stuff myself. The secret ingredient is Sprite (shhh!).
Surname: Kindle. You know, like the e-book reader. I got one of these for my birthday, and it’s awesome. Hella awesome. I can go from reading The Sports Guy’s Book of Basketball to Glenn Beck’s Common Sense (scoff if you want, the guy knows his stuff) in like, 10 seconds. Plus I now have every word Dan Brown has ever written at the tip of my fingers.
Story ESPN Will Shove Down Your Throat: Sergio has had his share of problems behind the wheel. There was a DWI arrest in 2007 that cost him three games, and an even more troubling incident within the last year. Apparently Sergio was engaging in what has come to be known as “Texting While Driving” when he hopped a curb and drove into an apartment. This was probably the result of those maddeningly small buttons found on most cell phones. That’s why I do all of my texting on the Kindle. The buttons are much easier to identify while changing lanes at 55. Is there anything this little miracle can’t do?
Mainstream Media Comparison: The nook from Barnes and Noble. But really, there’s NO comparison between the two when you get down to brass tacks.
KSK Comparison: Derrick Thomas. Let that be a lesson to you, Mr. Text-n-Drive!
Who Wants Him: You! Or at least you should. Did you know that you can read other stuff besides books on your Kindle? No joke. Lately I’ve been using mine to get back into the blog world. I don’t really have time to read a lot of sites, but I try to keep up with the big ones. You know, the TBL’s, PFT’s, and Perez’s of the world. The really essential blogs.
Who Will Take Him: The New York Giants. That’s what Kiper thinks, and frankly, that’s all I need to know.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news & humor before everyone else.