Uproxx
  • See More Blogs »
    • Front Page
    • 2010 Summer Guide
    • Trends
    • Warming Glow
    • Film Drunk
    • Gamma Squad
    • With Leather
    • Kissing Suzy Kolber
    • Smoking Section
    • RealTalk NY


Gamma Squad
Kissing Suzy Kolber is a humor site dedicated solely to the NFL.

Connect with Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook

02.25.10
Your 2009 Sean Taylor Memorial Meast Of The Year

chris-johnson

I do believe congratulations are in order for our 2009 Meast of the Year! And wouldn’t you know it? It’s Chris “Black Drexl” Johnson, who got 1,589 votes, or 34% of the total voting. MEASTERFUL. No one ever caught him. That’s what happens when you have get-away-from-Gus-Johnson speed.

Let’s break down the voting, HEISMAN STYLE!

Nevada’s gay for Pat Willis.

37 Comments » BY: Big Daddy Drew | TAGS: Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week
 
Share

« Previous Post
KSK Off Topic: How To Foil A Child Molester
Next Post »
THINK ABOUT IT

37 Responses to “Your 2009 Sean Taylor Memorial Meast Of The Year”

  1. Greg Olsen is making me sexits says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 8:52 am

    Peyton Manning issued a formal letter requesting information on the whereabouts of Chris Johnson. He doesn’t want ‘his’ meast award, he wants to stay far away from anything meastly for a little bit.

  2. Nimby says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 8:53 am

    West Virginia loves Darelle Revis…who knew?

  3. kevkage says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 9:11 am

    The most fascinating thing about this to me is that North Dakota has internet access. Oh, and that Hawaii is a bunch of frontrunners

  4. Darrone says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 9:24 am

    Fetus heads letter of protest was intercepted and returned to sender for a touchdown.

  5. jmac_the_man says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 9:32 am

    Are you going to do Least and Coach voting too?

  6. Sausage says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 9:46 am

    I only voted for Chris because I knew he was going to win. I do that with pretty much everything.

  7. Chazz_Goodtimes says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 9:52 am

    Bill Polian is changing the rules of Meast voting for next year.

  8. porky1 says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 9:57 am

    I congratulate our gargantuan cyborg running back. May death come quickly to his enemies.

  9. italfreak32 says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 9:59 am

    WV loves Revis bc the only ppl with internet access in the state are pitt fans.

  10. clueheywood says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 10:27 am

    Nevada’s gay for Pat Willis.

    Of course it is. Nevada is California’s little spoon.

  11. Joe Horn's Cell Phone says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 10:29 am

    As a Louisiana resident I can safely say that I’m sort of ashamed of which 8 states voted for Drew Brees.

  12. 85 says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 10:31 am

    Good thing cop speed is reserved for Measty running backs, as opposed to wispy mustached Hispanic country club kitchen staff.

  13. Lurker from long ago... says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 10:36 am

    @ italfreak32- literally lol

    I thought Darren Sharper would have more votes due to sharing a secondary with Meast of Forever Tracy Porter. That’s the only reason I voted for him.

  14. LaFarve's Next Drink says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 10:38 am

    What the fuck is wrong with voters in New Hampshire?

  15. Grimey says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 10:43 am

    Black Drexl thinks that a couple of titties should’ve won

  16. jackin'4beats says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 10:54 am

    So voters in Indiana voted for Cop Speed too? Maybe they are finally starting to come back to reality. Or maybe they’re too busy eating chili cheese fries with a side of frozen Snicker bars to give a shit.

    I vote for the latter.

  17. Reggie Bush's Pimp says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 11:21 am

    I cannot say anything negative about these results because if I did, Zulu Cthulu’s wrath would be swift, terrifying and drive me to madness.

    Also, he’d send LenCake White to eat all my waffles and I love me some waffles! No, you fat fuck, you can’t have any!

  18. James Harrison will taste Manflesh says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 11:25 am

    Darrell Revis is on the ballot and a fuckin running back wins?

    I hate the lowest common demoninator.

  19. Nathan Hale says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 11:32 am

    As much as I like Drew Brees, it concerns me that he did so well in the regions that I’ve designated as FSH (fat, stupid, and hairy).

  20. senor mullet says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 11:34 am

    i voted for kodos. where did he end up in the standings?

  21. claude balls says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 11:34 am

    So voters in Indiana voted for Cop Speed too? Maybe they are finally starting to come back to reality. Or maybe they’re too busy eating chili cheese fries with a side of deep-fried Snicker bars to give a shit.

    Fixed.

  22. Christmas Ape says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 11:45 am

    Actually, if you go back to the poll, Cop Speed barely beat out Peyton in Indiana. It was less than a full percentage point. I mean, yeah, Peyton still lost, but that’s only because Peyton meant to lose.

  23. 85 says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 11:46 am

    But what of the international voting? How will Germany’s votes be counted when there is no color coding for David Hasselhoff?

  24. Sausage says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 11:50 am

    whoa, weird. zulu is outside my window right now and the coast guard is all over him with machine guns and general chaos. he doesn’t seem to mind though, he’s just sitting there eating a turkey leg. he’s not sinking either. huh.

  25. Kyle in Tampa says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    Whoa, look at this fancy pants map technology you folks got here. Sooooooooooooo-eeeeeeee! That’s purdy!

  26. PortableRadio says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    KSK Rex Ryan for coach of the year. (Or the real one, because there isn’t that much difference)

  27. Joe Horn's Cell Phone says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    @Nathan Hale

    Yeah, totally. I expected the southern states to go for Brees, but the Dakotas and Iowa scare me a bit. And Hawaii is just weird.

  28. 85 says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    Hawaii only went for Brees because they think he tattooed theit map on his face.

  29. Drave says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    What the fuck is wrong with voters in New Hampshire?
    Being the sole Kommenter from NH, I guess you mean me…
    Hey, I appreciate Johnson’s achievement, but a cornerback that shuts down top WR’s is a thing of beauty.
    / Lester Hayes’d

  30. hardawayhatesyou says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    I am shocked that Indiana is not as yellow as the sun.

  31. ThePirateSloth says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    So wait – were the other voters from Hawaii besides me and one other person? And they voted for Revis?

    THIS POLL IS RIGGED!!!!

  32. ThePirateSloth says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    Nevermind, I’m color blind in the morning. Must be from all the sunshine.

  33. OJ Incandenza says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    “Yeah, totally. I expected the southern states to go for Brees, but the Dakotas and Iowa scare me a bit. And Hawaii is just weird.”

    Don’t blame me, I voted for Chiefs backup QB Bobby Joe Hastur. I voted for him three times, in fact, and I don’t know why he’s not showsdfgklj;asdgrjksbkl;jrflkj;bsdfklsk’l;fv’l;strfjhstrf

    //neither fat not stupid
    //a little hairy though (pan-Slavic untermensch)

  34. Brando says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    Drew Brees: Bringing black and white people together even after the season is over.

  35. Howard Phillips says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

  36. jackin'4beats says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    I want no parts of whatever drugs Howard Phillips is taking.

    /Crack is wack
    //Is that actually Klingon?

  37. Steve Kazemi says:
    February 26th, 2010 at 12:53 am

    I don’t understand how Mush Mouth didn’t get 100% here in Tennessee. The idiots in East TN. must have voted for the “What No Peyton”. Those assholes are primarily Colts fans anyway.

Leave a Reply



Partnered With

RELATED POSTS

[image]
Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week
Your Super Bowl Meast and Least, Along With a Special New Award

[image]
Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week
Your Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week — Divisional Round

TOP POSTS ON KSK

1
KSK Commenter Draft – Ice Cream Toppings
Two years ago you commenters drafted your favorite flavors of ice cream (Drew started things...

2
Crazy Commissioners and Psycho Sluts: The KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag
It's a bit of an unusual mailbag today. I'm a little wiped out from insane manifestos and...

3
Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, Peter Smells the Blood of a Mississippian
When we last left Starwood Preferred traveler Peter King, he was being brilliantly satirized by...

4
Brian Billick's Thoughts On 'Certain Language'
It seems that my comments about the certain language used by New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan...

5
The 2010 NFL Season: A Double Rainbow All the Way
If you're anything like me, you watch the first quarter of NFL preseason games to make hasty...

THIS ROXX ON WITH LEATHER

Finally, Some Violence In Coral Gables
College football is underway, as are college football fights. Fights in the stands, much like...

Reggie Bush's Girlfriend May Do Porn
OK, probably not. But model, Latin singer and Reggie Bush's latest girlfriend Mayra Veronica...

EMAIL TIPS

  • The Entire KSK Staff

CONTACT AND ANNOY US

  • Email Drew
  • Email Caveman
  • Email UM
  • Email Punter
  • Email flubby
  • Email Ape

FOLLOW US

  • FAN US ON FACEBOOK
  • @KISSMESUZY ON TWITTER
  • RSS FEED

TAKE BACK THE SEATS

The Football Fan's Manifesto, one giant step for fankind.

The Football Fan's Manifesto

THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE JACKASS IN YOUR LIFE

Men With Balls, featuring 100% new content

Men With Balls

three-time champs in meaningless awards

The 2008 Weblog Awards
The 2007 Weblog Awards
The 2006 Weblog Awards

Site Archives