Oh, how we’d missed you.
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.
That’s some good Manningface. 2010 is an excellent vintage.
/gratuitous Lady Gaga reference
I told my buddy Jacko how we’d see the Manning Face again, but somehow my column said the exact opposite.
Oh well…at least he still has the Double-Stuf-icing-licking crown.
Gotta love this from Hump Central at Stampede Blue:
“Man, it’s weird disagreeing with Peter and not calling him a “douchebag.” I think he used some kind of Tibetan mind control on me as we sat in the hotel bar a few nights ago and talked football.
Oh, and if you haven’t read our interview with Peter King, here it is again. I’d like to thank him again for taking the time to talk. Remember, King blew off Tunison, (because, you know, Tunison is a schmuck and all) but said yes to me. Yet another reason to not insult Peter King. In fact, we will praise him. Yay PK!”
1) Who the fucking fuck cares?
2) How many people at SI had to be laid off to cover that appetizer bill?
Using a Simmons reference is a bit douchy, don’t ya think. You know he’ll be all over this in his next shitty column.
Speaking of welcome back, I hope everyone is ready for Chris Berman’s stupid sound effects next season when Toby Berhart touches the ball.
You know, that annoying one he used to do when Mike Alstott fought for an extra half yard.
Fucking white running backs.
My hatred for the Colts is delicious.
Pick 6 was the most fantastic moment of the post-season. Only could have been better if Porter still had the Pac-Man characters shaved into his skull.
Ape is getting crushed over at Stampede Blue. I, for one, would love to see those fat humps get what’s coming to them (besides that tasty schadenfreude overflow loss)
Of course Ape’s getting crushed by the Humps. If not him, they’d have to blame their beloved Battleship for choking the game away.
Of course Ape’s getting crushed by the Humps. They’re so fat, they can crush anything.
I’m willing to bet that Ape would rather be fodder for the Fat Humps’ revenge fantasies than have the Colts win.
man those stampede blue humps are just so hilarious. midget porn, what a burn!
It’s just a guess, but I’d bet that Ape can outrun the Fat Humps. A brisk trot would quickly wear most of them out. Also, that picture of Manning is beautiful, but the one on the front page of this morning’s NYTimes was even better:
Peyton’s in the background, on his ass with his legs in the air watching Porter end his season. Just a thing of beauty.
Stampede Blue? WHO DEY????
Funny the Stampede Blue Humps would bring midget porn into this pissing contest, given the shape of Pey-Pey’s head.
I’d love to see the sitemaster stats for both sites since the fat humps got their panties in a bunch. My guess is KSK is still drawing about 10 times the traffic they are.
I eagerly await MB’s 75K word essay on how this defeat doesn’t affect Manning’s legacy and how the refs screwed the Colts and how…etc etc.
I had 2 female first-timers ask what was wrong with Pey-Pey’s head during the game. Dude, buy a helmet that fits.
“Fat Hump Face” would have at least 8 chins.
/What legacy change? Peyton is still a choker.
Did someone say ref screwing? http://www.stampedeblue.com/2010/2/8/1300557/yes-the-two-point-conversation
That picture made my ladyparts tingle. Awesome.
I love someone calling out Ape’s fat face while looking like this: http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/288868/CIMG0712.jpg
Some key press conference Manning face, if I may:
@289 – Wow, talk about god damn delusional. The guy kicked the fucking ball out of his hands while he’s holding it over the goal line. First they played the role of Pats fans, now the Humps are stealing Seahawks fans’ gig. Motherfuck, can’t Indianapolis come up with anything of their own?
Sadly, you forgot to mention the postseason performance of the Atlanta Braves.
//puts on 1995 world champs teeshirt and weeps…fuck the twins.
Did someone say ref screwing?
It goes without saying that Polian’s bullying of the Rules Committee has already begun. And to think that the fat humps haven’t even begun whining about how Manning was “blocked in the back” on the INT return for a TD.
The fat humps in the land of shit seem to be having a hard time accepting Pey-Pey’s epic choke.
I want to thank Rex Ryan for his positive impact on the Saints. those guys came to KILL. and ONSIDE KICK. and PICK 6 for the WIN.
I totally imagined that Rex Ryan fishing hook picture when that pick 6 happened. :)
Anyone wanna take bets on if we’ll ever see Monkey Business again?
And if we keep giving Stampede Blue attention, they’re gonna start believing that they’re relevant.
Why has this not received the standard Drew treatment? http://www.stampedeblue.com/2010/2/5/1296896/stampede-blue-has-a-beer-with#comments
I love how they’re whining about a 2point conversion when they lost by 14.
Just wait till Drew sees Perloff’s column at si.com…he makes Petey seems rational and intellegent.
I was going to say that first the Fat Humps stole Baltimore’s team, then they stole our favorite excuse for losing. For next year’s playoffs, the Humps will be telling us about the great crabcakes at Steak ‘N Shake.
ghostsofsc, you just nailed it. The 2000′s Colts are the 1990′s Braves. Always competitive. Horrible, annoying, entitled fans. And their lone championship being utterly anticlimactic and more forgettable than all of the times they lost.
I love how the stampedeblue ref post trashed Pereria’s comments, then quotes the rulebook, then twists the rulebook to suit their own needs.
Fortunately, that was really the only arguable call in the entire game. Even posession from the onside kick wasn’t really disputed despite being under a pile of 15 guys (longest duration ball-recovery pileup I’ve ever seen).
Mannings still a HoFer but wow the Colts got exposed yesterday. In retrospect I have to admit I was dead wrong about them from listening to the hype and only using the AFC title game as reference since it was the only wire to wire colts game I saw all year. Hindsighr tells me what we shoulda known since November… the balance of power shifted this year, the first time since 98. The NFC had 4 better teams than the AFC Champ. That simple. I can’t believe I missed it, bit I’ll admit I was wrong.
That pretty much did it for me as well. I read a couple of postgame columns over there (never been to the site before, don’t know a thing about them) and thought, “Gee, they don’t seem so bad. Not as whiny as I expected”. Then they write a Simmons-sized analysis of perhaps the least important play in the fucking game (and they’re wrong about it, too).
This is Boston-style navel gazing at its worst: endless rehashing of minutiae that’s been long forgotten by everyone else, but assumes transcendent importance for whiny dickheads who just can’t let shit go.
Colts Fans: Delusional Doucheknobs or Delusionalest Doucheknobs?
Let the Fat Humps bitch all they want. They lost, and throwing a tantrum about it is apparently all they can do over there. This will be 10x funnier when Caldwell turns into a modern-day Seifert or Switzer and runs a “dynasty” (or at least “Annoyingly Competitive Franchise”) into the ground.
Good call on NFC being the stronger conference this year. It took me past halfway thru the season to believe it, but I think it was true. Colts really didn’t have many tough matchups in regular season, including a weak division, plus two 9-7 playoff opponents. Finally met a juggernaut yesterday.
/still trying to find Bob Lamey’s call on the Pick 6
/hate hate hate
@twoeightnine: It says that if the player is going to the ground in the act of catching a pass, he must maintain control after he touches the ground. Not during, but after. In other words, he must keep the ball until he comes to rest.
this collection of words : sound logic :: goatse : aesthetic beauty
The call on the 2-pt conversion isn’t even disputable, the challenge got it exactly right. The part the Humps cited about having to maintain possession through the catch, even in the end zone, refers to when the ball is caught in the end zone and the receiver goes to the ground. Once he catches it, and has it in both hands while it’s stretched across the goal line, two points, bitches. If it’s never kicked out of his hands, he never loses it. Essentially, it’s like he’s touched down, not that he needed to be. It happened so fast that I can understand the ref on the field missing it even though he was right there, but the right call was made to reverse it and it’s not even close. That was an excellently officiated game (read: not many flags at all), and there’s absolutely no creedence to give to their horseshit whining.
… and it’s good that the Saints beat the Vikes because (hate aside) Favre would have sucked in the Super Bowl due to his ankle. Thus the Colts would win in a blowout. Thus we’d now be stuck with all the sycophants labeling Manning “the best QB of all time”. Sorry, Pey-Pey… gotta wait another year to challenge Unitas and Montana.
WHO DAT! WHO DAT SAY “EXTRA CHEESE ON DEY TRIPLE WHOPPER?”
The Fat Humps, dat is who.
Did anyone see @RaheemBrock on Twitter (tweets protected) “not want to take anything away from the Colts” but then whine about how he was held and got no love from the refs? Maybe he’ll be a guest blogger at the Stampede later today…
Simmons douchy ass already tweeted this last night but I do love the joy in watching Colts fans suffer.
I’d like to see a KSK “Who Ya Got?” between Reggie Bush and Hank Baskett.
Trampy WAG whose Vajayjay is plastered all over the Internet? Yes. Yes.
/ [Door flies open] Garcia: Hey, guys – me too!
Peyton can wipe away his tears with a stack of $100 bills. I mean, I’d hate my professional failures to be broadcast to a billion people, but… I don’t make his salary, either. So… suck it up, Pey-Pey. You’ll get over it.
The sad trombone noise in my head is deafening. And oh, so delicious.
Somehow this is all Monkey Business’ fault. Time to go eat away my sorrows.
/stereotypes are fun
…so he’s still the Meast of the Week, right?
/sets as wallpaper
//plays Price is Right loser music
///suck it, Manning!
Stampede Blue: Limited Access Without Discernible Talent
Why all the whining over at Stampede Blue? Is it really that hard to believe the Colts got outplayed by a better more balanced team, whose coach has brass basketball-sized balls?
C’mon, show some sportsmanship and thank the Saints for delivering a much deserved ass-kicking.
/Still slightly hungover
Oh boo hoo Colts fans, you lost in the Super Bowl. Ask the Chargers about playing in the Super Bowl, I bet most Detroit/Tampa Bay/Texan/Jets fans would love to see their team lose in the Super Bowl, that means they freaking made it that far. This is like having the smallest yacht, or the poorest billionaire. Be happy the Colts got as far as they did, honestly I don’t know how the Colts won as many as they did this year, they sucked, and no way Peyton was MVP, and I love the Colts, but I’m not deluding myself how great they are.
(Sigh.) I miss Monkey Business, that what I miss.
It turns out that the smartest quarterback who ever lived was just a guy who has been in the same system with the same coordinator for 13 years.
I’m an Indiana University student. Tracy Porter is one of maybe two or three alumni we have in the NFL. The front page of our student newspaper was just that NYT picture, printed at an enormous size. It’s possibly the most glorious front page in the history of the Indiana Daily Student. I’m laminating it.
Please, KSKers, please show some of the Monkey Business-type e-mails you get asking for Peyton to be the Meast.
Where’s the screencap of the crazy death stare he had on the sideline during the end of the 2nd/3rd quarter?
He had a look that said “I’m gonna club a fucking baby seal if I don’t get on the field soon.”
As much as I wanted to see the Colts and Peyton win, Peyton is the one whose late-game mistakes cost the team a possible win. All the more reason he should have several important new additions to manningface.com.
Where is Monkey Business?
Rumor has it that he watched the game in Boston, where he was on business. Lord, what I would have given to see him and his Pey-Pey jersey run into Tommy and a bunch of his boys.
“Where is Monkey Business?”
My bet? Face down in a gutter, covered in his own vomit, pants around his ankles, bleeding from his rectum, screaming into an empty bottle of scotch: ” i still love you pey pey”
You all are a class act.
It was a good game. Saints played better for most of it, probably deserved to win. That’s how it goes. And I can take some solace (not that I need much – good on the Saints and New Orleans) in the fact that the game more or less hinged on a hell of a gutsy call (props to Payton) that has an approximately 50% success rate.
However, anyone who thinks the Super Bowl proved the Saints were clearly a superior team and that, given ten games, the outcome would be, at most, 6-4 in advantage of one team or the other, can suck my balls.
Are your balls covered in cocktail sauce from St. Elmo’s?
@ TTG: No, but they are made of brass, weigh a ton and only pale in comparison to my cock. :)
RE Wonderbread Says:
“However, anyone who thinks the Super Bowl proved the Saints were clearly a superior team and that, given ten games, the outcome would be, at most, 6-4 in advantage of one team or the other, can suck my balls.”
Is this a masterful troll or are there people who actually say shit like this seriously?
I think the final score demonstrated the clearly superior team. Why is this so hard for people to understand?
Fuck me for those typos. TTG’s Tits for the win.
You must have HATED when the Patriots lost to the Giants, because after all, given ten games the Pats might have won more. But you’re right. Next year we’ll skip the game and just use Super Bowl Sunday as a day to celebrate the team most people think would win a hypothetical 10-game series between the two teams.
All that game yesterday proved is that the Saints are the champions, and your team is not. And in fact, since your team lacked the sack to try to go undefeated, they won’t even be remembered as a good team. A few years down the road they’ll be “whoever the Saints beat that year.” You don’t get ten games. You get one. And your team, and your hero, shit the bed. Suck those balls.
Right, ‘cuz best of ten is how all previous Super Bowl Champions have been crowned.
Monkey Business is over at Stampede Blue currently constructing a double-reinforced cross by which to hang from.
That’s great, but NFL games aren’t best of 10, they’re single elimination. And really, if given a best of ten, I’d think Drew Brees would have put on as good or better performance as he did last night at least 8 times, which would have gone a long way.
@ Slash – South Park parody
@ 85 – No, I got too much pleasure out of heckling the Bostonian I was watching it with. Anyway, I’d freely admit that the Pats would have won 8-9 out of 10 against the Giants, which leads me to…
@ everyone else – I KNOW the Super Bowl is single elimination. That’s the point and it fits the “any given Sunday” mentality of the NFL in general and I wouldn’t change it. My comment was directed at those individuals who seemed to take the game as an indication that the Saints were a truly superior team rather than the much more likely conclusion that the two teams were probably well-matched and the Saints simply played better, had more heart, got lucky, however the fuck you want to spin it based on your personal preferences.
“…however the fuck you want to spin it based on your personal preferences”
My personal preference for determining superiority is the scoreboard.
@DeSean: Hear, hear; from this moment on, all Super Bowl matchups will be decided by the outcome of 10,001 simulations run through WhatIfSports.com. Forget having to prove it on the field: May the best statistical team win!
As opposed to fans of a defeated team leaning on the crutch that their squad would have won decisively if they played more games? Oh no, that’s not annoying at all. Especially when the winning team had a better total offense, a better point differential and forced more takeaways than the losing team in the regular season.
That beaver from the commercial started playing his violin much more slowly when he read Wonderbread’s last two comments.
“game more or less hinged on a hell of a gutsy call (props to Payton) that has an approximately 50% success rate”
It’s only in the 50+% success rate if the receiving team is not expecting it, which was Payton’s motivation for doing it. He noticed that the up men in Indy’s cover team were lazy douchebags who were turning around and running as soon as the kicker approached the ball, so he rolled the dice on a pretty good bet and was lucky only in the sense that whatever trauma the Colts applied to Chris Reis’ groin area, he still held onto the ball he recovered.
As for your 10-game playoff proposal to determine the best team, I demand the Bills get a taste of that. After all, they whipped the Colts by 23 points a month ago. Let’s say the Colts begin down 0-1?
@ Desean – Not at all.
I’m happy for the Saints.
I’m glad my team – the team I’ve rooted for through good times and Jeff George – even got to the big game.
I’m confident that they’ll get a couple more chances to make there (whether they choke or not is another matter) for a few more years to come.
And while I bear no hatred for any other team or their fans, I’m going to enjoy coming back here and listening to whiners bitch about “Fat Humps” during those postseasons.
@ SoI – You sure you only want to be spotted one game? And do they all have to be played in a snowstorm?
Yeah, I agree with what everyone else says. Also, didn’t Manning throw an interception? Isn’t throwing the ball to the OPPOSING team kind of the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve in a football game? And didn’t the opposing team’s player turn that interception into a touchdown? So not only did the quarterback fuck up, but his defense fucked up, as well. At a crucial point in the game.
That doesn’t sound like the “better team” to me. Unless you mean the Colts team that didn’t lose the Super Bowl, from that alternate universe from “Fringe.”
@ Slash – “It was a good game. Saints played better for most of it, probably deserved to win.”
I never called the Colts the better team. I wouldn’t even argue with the contention that the Saints aren’t marginally better (namely because it would be a silly argument when I could just watch a football game… that my team lost… boo fucking hoo). I merely took umbrage with the current, visible in the comments, that the game somehow proved the Saints were gods of football and the Colts were lucky to share the field with them. And I only did that HERE because I get a kick out of trolling morons. Sadly (for my entertainment hopes at least), responders haven’t been idiotic, just generally lacking in reading comprehension.
Pey-Pey deserves his NFL MVP. What I saw from the Colts was a gutsy, determined game of smoke and mirrors. John Elway and Dan Reeves would be proud. And that’s a compliment. Manning 2010=Elway 1987. The Colts were not as good and the final score reflected that. Sorry Fumps.
RE Wonderbread Says:
@ Slash – “It was a good game. Saints played better for most of it, probably deserved to win.”
I didn’t watch the game. I don’t give a shit about the Super Bowl and am already heartily sick of Saints fans. There’s one in my office right now, wearing a fucking retarded-looking Saints baseball cap. I guess I should be glad it’s not a Saints jersey. And that she hasn’t screeched “Who dat?!” at me. Man, that shit got old fast.
RE “I wouldn’t even argue with the contention that the Saints aren’t marginally better”
By a margin of 14 points, to be exact. Two touchdowns. So yeah, by that razor-thin margin, the Saints are the better team. Just sayin’.
You didn’t even watch the game?
Well then, I have no choice but to bow to your superior powers of analysis.
Slash didn’t even watch the game and she came to the same conclusion that most people who did watch the game came to. THat should say something.
@ Desean – What’s that? That most people are more full of shit than common sense? Not exactly reinventing the wheel there. :)
Full of shit is saying the Saints were the better team yesterday and would have been an even match for Indy regardless? That’s new.
Everybody do The Shoe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I certainly hope not. That would mean I’ve been full of shit this entire conversation. Oh wait… >.>
@Slash: Since Fringe is fictional and the technology will never exist, that means that the Lions beat the Browns in the Super Bowl in the alternate universe, thereby increasing the frustration and feelings of futility of the “fans” of both franchises in an ambient, deja vu, someone-stepped-on-my-grave sort of way.
Join the discussion. Sign Up or Sign In