We make a lot of fun of Peter King around here. Good fun. Lofty fun. But this is the time of year when I sit back for a moment, realize that King now publishes his MMQB column year round now, and get on my knees and thank God for it. I mean, really. If Peter didn’t write every week, who would I make fun of? Bill Plaschke? Pfft. It’s not the same and you know it.
So let us take a moment to appreciate Peter King’s dedication, his semi-Herculeish efforts to pump out thousands of blisteringly pointless words all year round. I don’t know what I’d do without them. Probably gain 45 IQ points.
So what about this week? Will Peter choose to get motivated with Steve Forbes? Will he become part owner of the Connecticut Knights? DID BRETT FAVRE BRING HIS FART MACHINE? THAT GUY IS ONE OF THE ALL-TIME GREAT JOKESTERS! Read on. But first! A tidbit I enjoyed.
Reader Matt sent in this link to a chat with Pittsburgh reporter Ed “Bouchebag” Bouchette, who had this to say about the Word Baron:
Peter can get away with writing about lousy coffee. Peter and I once went to a Starbucks together and all I will say is he has exotic tastes in coffee. I like mine regular, fresh and with a shot of cream; they do not have to spend 10 minutes making it through a special machine.
I loved this quote. It made me think about just what the fuck Peter orders when he gets to the front of the Starbucks line.
“I’d like a triple grande hazelnut vanilliatto with juuust a sprinkle of nutmeg and double gingerbread syrup, topped with whipped Bailey’s and six canned peaches.”
I imagine Peter just gets up and lets his imagination run wild. I bet he doesn’t even order off the menu. That’s for peasants. “Frankie, how about you make me something with pumpkin in it today? I’m jonesing for pumpkin.”
Anyway, to the column…
LOS ANGELES — Yes, Los Angeles.
Holy shit, can you believe my dateline? Traffic out here is KRAYZEE!
Out here for a little R&R and hockey; I saw the Kings and the new Brodeur manhandle Colorado 3-0 Saturday night. (OK, maybe I’m jumping the gun 400 wins early for Jonathan Quick, the NHL wins leader at the Olympic break, but he is impressive.) Anyway, this morning I’ll try to be the methadone for your withdrawal from the NFL season.
THE CURE IS WORSE THAN THE DISEASE!
Of course, Peter is less your dose of methadone this offseason than he is your quadruple shot espresso carameliatti mochaiatto with shaved white chocolate and ancho chili powder.
Much on my mind this morning
-Why aren’t there more volunteer firemen?
-Short Hills, New Jersey is GORGEOUS.
-What’s with the snow, God?
-Is it me, or have parking spots gotten too thin? I simply cannot get my door open enough at the Nutley mall.
The Saints still celebrating as they march into a headachy offseason
Semi-migrainesque.
First, some scheduling notes: A lot of you have Tweeted or e-mailed about the MMQB offseason schedule. Well, I’ll be doing the column from various sites through late June (including South Africa at the World Cup), and resuming in late July, and then from South Africa (June 14 and 21), writing some about the other futbol.
Oh, yes. You read that right. Peter King is going to cover the World Cup. People of JoBurg, I hope you ready to have your coffee ass-raped by THE FUCKING MASTER. Is Italy the favorite to win it all? I don’t know. Are shootouts the wrong way to end a major soccer game? I’m not sure. Does a red card mean you get to use a replay challenge? MAYBE. All I know is that, if I’m the Czech Republic, I ask Tim Tebow to be on my team, then I sit back and pop the Korbel.
I believe there will be a work stoppage in 2011.
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
/slits cheeks
The fact is, owners want players to bear some burden for the costs of all the stadiums that have been built in recent years, and players don’t want to pay for something they’ve never paid for before. That’s the elephant in the negotiating room right now, and no one’s budging.
YOUR BOSS: Say Bob, we’re building a new factory in Dayton.
YOU: Cool!
YOUR BOSS: But I need to cut your pay by $2,000 to help build it, even though it will bring in significantly more revenue in the long run.
YOU: But I don’t see how that’s fair.
YOUR BOSS: YOU FUCKING PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW A BUSINESS WORKS. YOU ARE FUCKING LOCKED OUT.
The logical question for the Saints: Is all this celebrating and spate of parades — the Saints’ Super Bowl parade was so big that it was shown live on CNN with Wolf Blitzer throwing to reporters in the middle of his “Situation Room” show — going to go on so long that they affect the Saints’ ability to repeat in 2010?
It’s been 8 days. That is not a logical question. That’s a question Mark Schlereth asks.
Until I see Payton with the lampshade on his head during a May minicamp, I say laissez les bon temps roullez. Let the good times roll.
I know French. AND I KNOW TONY DUNGY. Jeayyyyyylous?
The other question is whether they’ll allow Reggie Bush to walk in trade. No question there will be some interest out there, particularly by Seattle, with former USC coach Pete Carroll there
UFFORD: WHAAAAAAAAAAA????? Ummmmmmmmm…
Relax, Ufford. This Peter King, so it’s strictly hypothetical. In fact, it’s not even legit enough to be hypothetical. It’s more underthetical at this point.
Enough is enough. If I hear one more word about how Peyton Manning ruined his “legacy” by throwing that interception in the Super Bowl, I’m going to puke.
If I hear one more word about how a marquee player justifiably hurt his reputation by making a horrible, horrible, telegraphed throw in a big game, I’LL GO MAD!
The same way it was absurd to suggest Manning would be the greatest quarterback ever if he had won this year’s Super Bowl (which would have given Manning two titles in 12 years, with none of the all-time records his), it’s just as absurd to call him some tragically flawed player because he threw a bad interception going in for the tying touchdown late in the fourth quarter.
Agreed. THE GALL! THEY’VE GOT IT GALL WRONG! It’s completely absurd to label Peyton Manning as tragically flawed after he committed a tragic flaw. WHAT ABOUT THAT LAZY TIT REGGIE WAYNE?!
Now, if you want to say you see a pattern forming — from his can’t-beat-Florida days in college, to some of the playoff losses he’s had in the pros, to the fourth-quarter pick by Tracy Porter — that’s fine.
This one just about killed me.
Now look, if you want to say there’s a pattern of Peyton Manning choking in big moments, that’s fair. BUT DON’T YOU CALL HIM A CHOKER! THAT IS ABSURD AND I WON’T STAND FOR IT.
Now listen, if you want to say there’s a pattern in Kim Jong Il’s rule of him torturing political prisoners and stifling dissent, that’s fine. BUT DON’T YOU CALL HIM A DICTATOR.
And look here, if you want to say there’s a pattern forming where gravity seems to keep everything fastened to the Earth’s surface, you be my guest. But don’t you DARE call that a Newtonian Law!
I’m annoyed enough as it is that most people who analyze football make playoff football the only thing that counts when considering the greatness of players.
I don’t think anyone considers it the ONLY measure of greatness. But it’s kind of an important component, no? I’ve noticed this pattern of great QB’s winning shitloads of titles, the way Joe Montana and Johnny Unitas did. But I dare not call it a rule.
I loved the Tweet of Aaron Schatz of FootballOutsiders.com Sunday: “How come no one ever mentions Jim Brown was 1-3 in the playoffs and averaged 3.7 YPC (yards per carry) when they talk about his legacy?”
You can also take that tweet as a knock on Jim Brown if you like. Go ahead. It’s okay. Remember: Jim Brown threw a woman off a balcony once. Granted, he was just testing gravity, but still.
Quarterbacks surely are the most important players on a football field. So that means they’re the most important players in postseason play. But to minimize the significance of regular-season dominance drives me nuts.
Have you ever heard Peyton Manning underpraised during a football broadcast? Ever? Aren’t analysts usually more than happy to bend over backwards to whitewash some of his flaws? Who are these straw men out there completely dismissing Peyton Manning’s body of work in the regular season? SHOW YOURSELVES, PEOPLE WHO DON’T EXIST.
Manning is 70 games over .500 in 12 seasons, which is better than Dan Marino, John Elway, Johnny Unitas, Bart Starr, Terry Bradshaw and Roger Staubach were in their careers. But Manning’s 9-9 playoff record overshadows all of that. I’m not saying the 9-9 shouldn’t be considered. I just think it shouldn’t overshadow everything.
Okay I won’t let it overshadow his regular season dominance. But the fucker does choke.
By the way, on places of players in history, I don’t want to make another list of the top quarterbacks ever … yet.
I never want to make a list of best QB’s again… for now.
I’m amazed to see how quickly the shine has worn off Joe Montana. A generation ago, Montana was Tiger Woods. Four Super Bowl wins in the ’80s, 16 playoff wins in all … the ultimate winner. And now he’s yesterday’s news. Not in my history book.
Wait, what? Who? Who is doing this? Do you know anyone out there who would make a list of the greatest QB’s of all time without Joe Montana in the Top 2 or 3? Who is forgetting about Montana? I JUST SAW HIM IN THAT SKECHERS AD.
But no, apparently we need Peter around to remind us, for only he remembers that Joe Montana was really, really fucking good. I’m also amazed to see how quickly the shine has worn off of Abraham Lincoln. Won the Civil War. Freed the slaves. Made lots of speeches. And now he’s yesterday’s news. WELL, NOT IN PETER KING’S PEOPLE’S HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES.
Want to know the fate of Favre?
No.
Wait a while.
All annoying things to those who wait!
A year ago, Brett Favre retired from the New York Jets. The night he retired, I spoke with him, and he said…
…that he adored The Smiths! Just like I do! I saved the voicemail! God, it’s like we were destined to be one.
I asked Favre what he planned to do.
BUT HE HAD ALREADY VANISHED IN TO THE WOODS! HE IS THE NIGHT HUNTSMAN!
There’s little use in asking Favre how he feels about playing right now. He told Ed Werder the night of the playoff loss to the Saints he almost certainly wouldn’t play, and now I’m hearing it’s highly likely he will.
There’s little use in figuring out what Favre will do, but here’s a bunch of useless conjecture! Barista, I’ll have a peanut brittle cideriattola, please.
Quote of the Week II
“There is no hangover, there is no carryover, it’s a brand new season. We are well on our way to dealing with 2010.”
-Indianapolis president Bill Polian on Friday, five days after the nightmare Super Bowl loss that he refused to discuss with local reporters.
Jesus, Bill Polian is a dipshit. What? A crushing loss still on our minds? Please. We’ve completely moved on. Only asshole reporters like YOU are still whining about it! Now, let me go to competition committee and have them outlaw interceptions.
Enjoyable/Aggravating Travel Note of the Week
Sometimes you see a scene that is so car-wreckish you wish you could intercede, but you don’t because it’s none of your business.
Semi-accidental-like!
Hertz car rental counter, 12:15 a.m. Saturday, Los Angeles International Airport.
Yes, Los Angeles!
There must be 75 people here, in line, waiting for cars both at the Gold counter and the regular counter, and in a situation like this, as tired as you are, there’s nothing you can do. Get in line, hold it together, hope it’s not an hour before you get your car, like it appears it will be, and just deal.
Except one woman just couldn’t. Her husband was near the front of the line, and obviously he’d been in line for a while, and the wife waited outside with two young children. About every five minutes, she’d come in, glare at her husband and say something like:
“No car yet? What is taking you so long!”
“I knew we should have taken a cab! Why didn’t we take a cab!”
And my personal favorite, with the two kids in tow: “I am soooooo tired! Can’t you see how tired I am? Do something! Say something to them!”
I caught the eye of a guy behind me in line, and our looks said: “Thank God we won’t be in that rental car tonight.”
Dude, it was midnight and the bitch had two rugrats pulling on her pant legs. Do you know what that does to an adult? You’ll suck a dick to get a rental car at that point. Can you believe a woman who has two kids driving her insane would be impatient in waiting for a rental car? WHAT A COUNTRY.
I think I saw the attendance at the NBA All-Star Game last night — Mark Cuban announced it as 108,713 — and couldn’t believe what I heard. I’ve got to think Jerry Jones, standing near Cuban as he made the announcement, had to be thinking: We’ll get 125,000, somehow, for that Super Bowl next year. It’s not only that Jones actually has smaller seats he can slide into the rows of the stadium…
He does? Holy shit. But where will Kevin Smith sit?
I forgot to mention I rented a Prius out here over the weekend.
Thank God you did.
What a nice car.
Unless you like functional brakes.
Exceedingly quiet…
It’s like an Atlanta Falcon!
and I don’t notice the slow acceleration. Neat dashboard too.
It told me my MPG! Look at all the gas I saved by driving it! I only used it because I couldn’t walk!
Had a Remdawg at Jerry Remy’s Sports Grill at Logan Airport the other night
Remdawg? I want to punch that hot dog in the fucking face.
And Jerry, one piece of advice: I’m a big man, as you may know, and I would have had to be three of me to finish that monster dog.
It was bigger than Matt Schaub’s dong! Schaub leads the league in girth!
But thanks for all the beer choices. Excellent tap diversity, from Green Monstah Ale to Sam Adams Noble Pils.
Fuck. Off. A bar in Boston had Sam Adams? That is diversity, New England style!
/hates Sam Adams
/would push Jim Koch in front of a speeding bus if I saw him in public
On the other coast, we had a great meal at Corkbar downtown. A winebar with all California wines and California microbrews.
And GREAT coffee. ARE YOU LISTENING, HARVEY GREENE?!!!
It helps that the chef, Albert, read my book.
Oh, did he not read yours? Then your table will be next to the water station.
And I’ll return the props: The man makes one great burger.
Until playoff time, when he burns the shit out of them. BUT THAT SHOULDN’T COUNT!
And one other L.A. food note: I’ve been introduced to Body Factory smoothies, and I’ll be back. Often.
The smoothies are made from REAL bodies!
If you’re asked if you want cream for coffee, shouldn’t it be at least half-and-half? Too many places say, “Cream for your coffee?” and then hand you a little thing with skim milk or 2-percent milk in it.
“Excuse me, ma’am? I specifically asked for more milk fat.”
Where would “The Office” be without the Nard Dog? What an acquisition.
He’s no Brian the Dog, but he’ll do!
Seriously, Ed Helms has been on The Office for years now. I don’t even know what to do with that bullet. Someone order me a Marshmallowfluffatte.
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“we had a great meal at Corkbar downtown”
read that initially as “we had a great meal at CoCkbar downtown” and wasn’t phased at all
Such is the loftiness that Peter brings to the writing game…
1. Remy’s had two Boston beers on tap? In Boston?
2. Sam Adams sucks. It’s like Budweiser with food coloring.
For the record, I’m not one of the squealing Fat Humps, so don’t get me wrong there.
As for the fact that there were no conferences in 68, I am fully aware of that. However, it wasn’t like the Super Bowl was a brand new thing. It was the 3rd iteration, and therefore the actual Title Game of that year was Super Bowl III. Yes, there were AFL and NFL championships, but to count those as titles without counting current day AFC and NFC Championships as actual titles just doesn’t work. It’s not a fair assessment because it weighs too much on one side of the argument due to a technicality. If we were to reverse your concession of the 68 Championship and actually count it, but for the sake of fairness also count Manning’s Conference championships as titles (i mean, you do get a trophy don’t you?), then Unitas would be 4-2 in title games and Manning would be 3-2 (having won 1 Super Bowl and 2 AFC Championships, and lost 1 Super Bowl and 1 AFC Championship). It’s simple math.
The reason I mentioned Unitas’ record prior to Super Bowl V is because he lost Super Bowl III in his 12th season. Manning lost Super Bowl XLIV in his 12th Season. Prior to that, not counting the 68 NFL Championship as the title game, Unitas was 2-1 in Championship games and Manning was 1-0. If you’re counting the 68 game, then Unitas was 3-1, and (adjusted for technicality) Manning was also 3-1 (having won the AFC Championship prior to the Super Bowl.
We may have to just agree to disagree as to whether or not the 68 NFL Championship counts as a Title Game, but the fact remains that you can’t compare Unitas’ records against Manning’s if you’re going to fault Manning for not playing in a time when there were NFL-AFL Championships along with Super Bowls.
Final nitpicking items:
1. Brady doesn’t have 4 rings. He has 3.
2. If I remember correctly, Brady got destroyed by a Ravens D this year that was much worse than they were in 06, so don’t talk about Manning against the Ravens in 06. Yes Vinatieri scored all the points, but points were only scored by kickers in that game. What’s your argument for the very next game when the Colts put up 32 points in the second half against the Pats? By your standard of measurement that was a title game. And why would you compare the Pats Super Bowl wins to the Colts 06 Divisional game anyway? You’re all over the place with your argument to the point that you’re now putting Divisional games on equal ground with Super Bowls, and yet you accused me of doing just that (which I didn’t) in a previous post.
By the way, speaking of Brady, he had Randy Moss and Wes Welker in 07 and couldn’t win a Super Bowl. He also had Randy Moss this year and couldn’t get past the Wildcard Round at home against a 6th seed. All your arguments about Brady being so much better than Manning simply because he won with little talent around him when Manning had Harrison to throw to go completely out the window with that. Again, he was on better teams. It’s unfortunate that we can’t actually see how this would play out, but you switch Manning in for Brady and I guarantee you he has at least 5 rings by this point. Brady on the Colts, who knows, but it’s not 3 rings. That’s my whole point with this comparison BS. Some players just benefit from being on better teams. Brady has, Montana did, Unitas did too. You show me a QB who’s had as much success as Manning over his years with how much he has to do to carry that team, and I’ll consider that a fair argument. Does he screw up sometimes in big moments? Yeah, he does. But if Hank Baskett fields that onsides kick to start the half, giving Manning midfield to start the drive, do you think we’re really having this conversation right now? Or how about if Dwight Freeney was fully healthy and bull rushing his way to Drew Brees in the second half like he did in the first, do you think we’re having this conversation right now?
3. For the record, I’m not one of the squealing Fat Humps, so if you were making that assumption please don’t. If not, then no harm. I don’t know of any Colts fans (Indianapolis or Baltimore) who have a problem with Unitas. I don’t know where you got that idea, but it sounds like you’re making it up. All the Indianapolis fans I know appreciate the history of the Colts, including Unitas, but prefer to have their own history, while a good number of Baltimore fans are still bitter about losing a terrible team, even though they essentially stole the Browns a little over a decade later and won a Super Bowl with their new team much sooner than Indianapolis did. If the team actually belonged in Baltimore, it would have stayed there. I don’t hear Browns fans bitching about losing their team, and they still have reason to bitch. Chicago fans aren’t upset that the Cardinals don’t play there anymore. It happened 25 years ago and people need to get over it.
Again, we may have to agree to disagree, but please don’t insult my football intelligence by making the Unitas-Manning comparisons and weighing it on a technicality. Either they’re very similar or there is no comparison because they played in two different NFL’s.
@ ChiTown – what part of “There were no conferences in 1968″ are you not understanding?
But, for the sake of argument and because I’m bored, let me grant you your fantasyland wish and take the Colts’ 1968 NFL Championship off the board.
That still makes it 3 titles for Unitas vs. 1 for Pey-Pey. Shit-ton, defined.
What’s that? “So before Super Bowl V he was .500 in titles. Manning is 1-1. They are much closer than you and Drew are attempting to say.”
After Super Bowl V, he was (by your math) .600 and two titles ahead of Pey-Pey. Or are we only counting Unitas’ career before Super Bowl V? By that measure, I can say that, before 1999, Pey-Pey was unbeaten in the playoffs. Or that as of 1994, Pey-Pey had never lost to Florida. Or that before 1996, Pey-Pey had never taken off his pants and shown his peepee to a female U of Tenn trainer.
I’m not going to make a defense of Brady, except to say that he didn’t rely on Vinitieri to SCORE ALL HIS TEAM’S POINTS in those Super Bowls, unlike Pey-Pey vs. the Ravens in ’06. And he has 4 rings.
Unitas is a Hall of Famer, Pey-Pey will be a Hall of Famer. But the squealing hordes of Fat Hump Colt fans will never accept that Unitas did it first, Unitas did it in the city where the team belongs and he did it more often than poor, underappreciated Pey-Pey.
Okay. I don’t mind that you have a different opinion than I do, but don’t put words in my mouth.
I wasn’t presenting an alternate reality, I was merely explaining that if you’re going to compare Unitas and Manning, then you absolutely have to consider the fact that Manning never got the chance to play in a one-off championship game and instead always had to go through a playoff-tournament setting where at the very least you had to win 2 games to get to the championship. Also, I never claimed that beating a 5th or 6th seed was a more significant accomplishment than Unitas beating the Giants. Please point it out where I said that. You can’t. Because what I said specifically was that if you’re going to count the 68 Championship Game against the Browns as a “title”, then you can’t negate Manning’s wins in AFC Championship games as well. And by the way, Manning beat the Pats (a 3-seed) in one of those games and although the Jets were a 5-seed, they still boasted the #1 Defense and the #1 running game, and almost everyone on this site aside from dumbfuck Monkey Business seriously thought the Jets were going to destroy Manning and the Colts. So yeah, I think that if you’re going to say that Unitas vied for 2 titles in the same year (a dumb fucking statement by the way) in 68, simply on the back of “The NFL and AFL hadn’t merged yet”, then you should either leave the Unitas-Manning comparison alone because Unitas played in a completely different league with different playoff structuring and a much shorter season, or you have to compare at least the 68 season to modern-day NFL playoff structuring, even if there had yet to be a merger. Super Bowl III was the only true tile game that year, and Unitas and the Colts lost it. If you count the 68 conference championship game as a title game simply to beef up Unitas’ numbers against Manning, then you look like a petty fucking idiot. I’m not saying Manning is better than Unitas, you are the one claiming Unitas was so much better than Manning, and you’re basing it on the amount of titles won. I’m saying, if you look at it as an actual comparison, then Unitas won the 58 and 59 championships, lost the 64 championship, and lost Super Bowl III. So before Super Bowl V he was .500 in titles. Manning is 1-1. They are much closer than you and Drew are attempting to say.
As for the 2006 Divisional playoff, which I didn’t even bring up, by the way, if you’re going to disparage Manning by insisting that Vinatieri won the game for them, then you can’t claim Brady as the better QB simply because of titles. Umm… didn’t Vinatieri win the Patriots first 2 Super Bowls??? Again, you show your pettiness by twisting facts around to support your argument, while ignoring the fact that those same facts can be used to nullify your point.
As for Manning vs. Brady in the playoffs, I’m not going to defend Manning on the interception in the Super Bowl. Regardless of what Wayne did, it was a telegraphed pass that Porter saw coming and it should have never been thrown. That’s on Manning. Whether or not it lost the game for the Colts can be argued, but I’m not exonerating Manning for that.
I didn’t hear him throw his team under the bus after that game, so I don’t know what you’re talking about there. The only time I’ve heard him disparage his team openly was after the Steelers Divisional game in 05 when the O-line positively forgot how to play football.
Finally, and I can’t believe I even have to tell someone who supposedly knows about football this, but yes the Patriots did have better teams in the playoffs when they beat the Colts. TEAMS, you dumbfuck. Not individual players, TEAMS. Football is a TEAM sport. Which means when you have defense that is regularly ranked in the top 10, you have a Hall of Fame coach, you have the most clutch kicker in the league, you have an O-line that gives your excellent QB time to throw, and you have a decent running game, you can get away with not having top-flight receivers. And I’m so sick of the Marvin Harrison argument. Did you even watch playoff football this decade? Harrison fucking disappeared in the playoffs.
So seriously, stop manipulating the facts to fit your petty agenda. Quit using the same tired arguments that have been debunked over and over again. And stop comparing Unitas with Manning, or if you’re going to do it, then at least use intelligent criteria and don’t cherry-pick facts. Unitas won more titles than Manning has so far: fair argument. Unitas won a “shit ton” of titles and Manning is a choker cause he’s only won one: not a fair argument.
Me: Let me give you short, rational explanation of the NFL and AFL as independent leagues in the 60′s…
ChiTown Chicanery: No! You must accept my alternate reality, where the American Football League is exactly the same as the post-merger American Football Conference! You must enter my world where the modern (read: stolen) Colts piling up stats on 5th and 6th seeds in the playoffs is a more significant accomplishment than Unitas and the (real) Colts beating the Huff-Gifford-Conerly Giants back-to-back for actual league titles!
Me: But that’s simply not factually correct or historically accurate…
ChiTown Chicanery: Balderdash! My analogy is correct because I say so! You must agree to live in my fantasy realm where the ’58 and ’59 Colts only having to play one measly playoff game (against the 2nd best team in the league) for the league championship was nothing compared to Peyton and his Colts having to conquer the mighty Kansas City Chiefs of Herm Edwards and Trent Green and (gasp!) the indomitable Baltimore Ravens on their way to the 2006 NFL title!
Me: Hey, speaking of that 2006 AFC Divisional playoff….didn’t Adam Vinitieri account for all of the Colts’ points against Baltimore?
ChiTown Chicanery: Silence! Pey-Pey is practically the same QB as Tom Brady in the playoffs, if you don’t count actual titles won…..or won-loss record….or throwing Super Bowl-clinching INTs in the 4th quarter. Plus, Manning is a dignified, classy leader who won’t throw his team under the bus until AFTER the game is over!
Me: (sighs, exits stage left)
ChiTown Chicanery: Patriots had better teams! They had the benefit of genuine superstars like Troy Brown playing two ways! Brady had a wealth of top-caliber receiving talent, like Reche Caldwell….and Deion Branch! Who did poor Peyton have to throw to? Old-ass Marvin Harrison! Wah!!!
@ Soul- Look, I’m not trying to get into a pissing contest with you, but if Drew is going to compare Manning and Unitas in terms of titles, then you have to think of the old AFL in today’s NFL terms. Therefore, my analogy is correct. To get to Super Bowl III, the Colts had to win a Divisional playoff, and a Conference Championship game. If you’re going to count the 68 game against the Browns as an actual title, then you also have to consider Manning’s win against the Jets this year, as well as his win against the Pats in 06 as titles, otherwise your argument is meaningless and weighted to make Unitas look overbalanced vs. Manning. Fact is, in 64, when the Colts lost to the Browns, it was the ONLY playoff game they played that year, and it was the Championship game. I mean, when they won two titles against the Giants in 58 and 59, those were the only playoff games they had to deal with, and they boasted 9-3 records both of those years. I’m sure with your vast NFL-AFL knowledge you considered the fact that teams only played 14 game seasons until 1977, which skews the numbers even further. But hey, let’s not let simple facts get in the way of a good hit job, right?
As for your argument re: Pey-Pey in the playoffs. I’ll give you Montana because in my mind he was the greatest playoff QB of all time, but please don’t give me Brady. Look at their playoff stats and they’re practically the same QB. Brady has a better record because he’s simply had better players around him top to bottom, as well as a superior coach. Period. As for the Chargers supposedly “owning” Peyton Manning, are you kidding? Manning had better overall numbers than Rivers in both of those games. Injuries killed the Colts those years. No pass rush in 07 and Billy Fucking Volek went nuts on them, along with old ass Harrison’s fumble. In 08, no Gary Brackett and Gates has a great day, and tiny Darren goes crazy.. not to mention Mike Scifres having a Hall of Fame type day. All that, and Manning still had his team in position to win if the team could have actually run 2 fucking yards.
Please leave the tired arguments behind.
@ ChiTown Chicanery – your knowledge of NFL (and AFL) history is about as accomplished as your city’s pouty QB .
“The 68 NFL Championship game doesn’t count because it was the equivalent of the NFC or AFC Championship Game.”
Er, what? No, it wasn’t the equivalent of the NFC/AFC Championship game because the two independent leagues had not merged yet. The leagues struck an agreement in 1966 to play a World Championship game between the champions of each league which became the Super Bowl. The first four SBs were played under this arrangement with SB 5 (Colts over the Cowboys) as the first Super Bowl of the combined league. Since 1970, there have been champions of each conference meeting to decide the league title in the Super Bowl. They are not considered “league champions” but the the NFL (Packers, Packers, Colts and Vikings) and AFL Champions (Chiefs, Raiders, Jets and Chiefs) from the years 1966-1969 are.
But don’t let me distract you from your sterling defense of Pey-Pey. Look at his performance in the playoffs, you say? Shall I start with his 35.5 passer rating and 4 INTs vs. the Pats in the 2003 AFC title game? Or shall I turn to his mighty 3 points of offense in Foxborough the following year? How about getting shut out by the Jets in 2002? You may say Mike Vanderjagt was the goat vs. the Steelers in 2005, but the game should have ended with Troy Polamalu’s INT. And, of course, the Chargers had his number in 2007 and 2008. Pey-Pey is the King of the regular season, but a 9-9 lifetime playoff record and 1 title hardly merits consideration with the likes of Brady, Montana and, yes, Unitas.
@ Soul on Ice- Dude. First, did you not see that I immediately corrected myself? Second, he didn’t win a title in 68 because it was Super Bowl III and the Jets won that game.
I even said that Unitas went to 3 Super Bowls, which was dumb because he only went to 2 Super Bowls, and 2 NFL Championships (prior to the AFL-NFL Super Bowls). The 68 NFL Championship game doesn’t count because it was the equivalent of the NFC or AFC Championship Game. If you want to count that, then you should also count Manning’s performance this year in the Championship Game in which he torched the #1 Defense. But then that would completely go against KSK’s pre-determined story line that Manning is a choker, and heaven forbid that ever happen because they’d never be able to fellate each other while watching Porter’s Pick 6 again.
Apparently none of us on here know shit about football. And that’s what makes this site worth reading.
Peter King scoffs at ESPN’s lack of news breakage:
http://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/9242144584
Hmm, I tihnk I’ll have a grande, no, make it a tallish, no, a venti-ish, cup of your finest five shot cap, plus I would like to have just a smidge of whipped cream, and let me see it before you put it on there, because I have a very specific way I like, which I learned from Rich Kotite. Ok, so call me when you have it ready for my inspection, I’ll be over there on the phone with Bryant McKinnie.
“I’ll have a peanut brittle cideriattola, please.”
/choke on it, Jumbo
@ ChiTown Chicanery – Unitas had three NFL Championships (’58, ’59 and ’68) in addition to the SB V win.
As you say….”you are supposed to know something about sports as well, right?”
I’m reading in my terribly boring intro to business class, and I started cracking up in the middle of the lecture. Everyone gave me dirty looks, but keep the funny stuff coming. there’s no better way to procrastinate in class.
“Remember: Jim Brown threw a woman off a balcony once.”
/stands proudly by most sports memorabilia mock draft pick
“I know French. AND I KNOW TONY DUNGY. Jeayyyyyylous?”
Nah. I’m from Mexico. I know English, and I know… well, Troy Aikman.
Sorry.
PK: “I’d like a triple grande hazelnut vanilliatto with juuust a sprinkle of nutmeg and double gingerbread syrup, topped with whipped Bailey’s and six canned peaches.””
Soy?
PK: Yeah, half soy only, skinny the rest, I’m watching my weight, heh. I’m having dinner tonight with Bill Parcells…Bill Parcells…he used to coach the Giants. You know, Tony Romo has the same thing every time we go to Starbucks together, a vanilla chai, soy. You know who Tony Romo is? Cowboys?
From TMQ, a douchey writer in his own right…
“King makes so many predictions, it’s hard to know what to take seriously. On Oct. 25 on NBC, King predicted Sam Bradford would be drafted in the second half of the first round of the NFL draft; the next day, on Dan Patrick’s radio show, King predicted Bradford would go in the top half of the first round. King predicted Los Angeles could soon have three NFL teams; so far it has none. In late September, King said, “Minutes ago I spoke to people in Washington who told me there is absolutely no chance Jim Zorn is in trouble with the Redskins.” People in Washington — like, at Grevey’s Sports Bar? Two weeks later, King said Zorn would be fired no later than the following week, to be replaced by Jerry Gray. Zorn wasn’t fired until the season ended, and Gray was shown the door, too. King said there was “no possibility” Jay Cutler would be traded by Denver. For the season, King forecast a Super Bowl of New England over Chicago — the Bears did not make the playoffs — and predicted the Saints would finish 7-9.
Given King’s track record at predictions, I find it reassuring he thinks there is definitely going to be an NFL work stoppage in 2011.”
This is one of the better examples of twat vs twat hate crimes I’ve ever seen.
Oh. Excuse Me. He was 2-1 going after Super Bowl III. Now I’m the dumbass. Still, I wouldn’t consider that a shitload of titles, especially given the bad playoff record of the 60′s.
Drew-
What the fuck is this?:
“I don’t think anyone considers it the ONLY measure of greatness. But it’s kind of an important component, no? I’ve noticed this pattern of great QB’s winning shitloads of titles, the way Joe Montana and Johnny Unitas did. But I dare not call it a rule.”
Unitas went to 3 Superbowls in his career. He was 1-1 after losing to the Jets and two years removed from his 4th MVP. Then they defeated the Cowboys a few years later. To say that Unitas won a shitload of titles is just stupid. In fact, he’s just about the only QB that Pey-Pey can even be compared with, much like Brady with Montana. I know this is a humor site, but you are supposed to know something about sports as well, right? Fuckwit.
“Well, I’ll be doing the column from various sites through late June (including South Africa at the World Cup)”
LISTEN FAT MAN: YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY BELOVED WORLD CUP, OR SO HEP ME GOD I WILL BURN MONTCLAIR TO THE FUCKING GROUND
“Well, I’ll be doing the column from various sites through late June (including South Africa at the World Cup)”
LISTEN
That pesky Saints parade. If it wasn’t for that, OH AND THAT THING CALLED MARDI GRAS WE HAVE EVERY YEAR, the Saints would be repeat champions.
/Ill take the Gras please.
Actually KSK is a premium Microbrew. Small clientele and great content. (PK remains O’DOuls)
If KSK is premium Lager, the PK is O’Douls….long on hype and little of substance.
@Fred Smoot’s Jockstrap
I was just joking, of course.
Even Scarlet fever is cooler than PK.
I would pick KSK crew every time.
like Sting (PK of songwriting) would say: “i don’t drink coffee/i drink beer, my dear”
anyway, i feel like the KSK-PK equations can go on forever, like If KSK are (variable A) then PK is (variable B) always proving the wisdom of our beloved coffee connoisseur.
By the way, yes, so into NFL i would go to work drunk and sleepless every Monday morning.
And the Giants sucked so bad, we didn’t even make it to post-season.
Cheers
PS: Can i just say that if KSK are a cold lager then PK is some strange exotic Polynesian brew?
@LDP
I actually wasn’t. The idea of a Greek guy in Rotterdam watching American football and getting into it enough to read an American blog about it regularly is pretty cool. Makes me want to learn the rules of cricket and check the Togolese rugby blogosphere. Cheers.
I will, however, contest the notion that Peter King is “cooler” than any one of the KSK guys. He just gets paid to do cooler stuff… and then still writes about the Normans and starfruit zest creme brutternut squashiatti.
@Fred Smoot’s Jockstrap:
yes my friend. Sport is a unified whole under the shield of the great PK. Wait until he puts his armor of light and marches through a South African press area.
But you are being sarcastic. And i am not. You are caustic. I am not.
You don’t understand his magnitude.
Like the KSK guys here making jokes about him.
They ll never admit that Peter is way cooler than them.
If KSK are 21 Jumpstreet, PK is Sergeant Bosco “Bad Attitude” Baracus…
I PITY THE FOOL (who never visits the Mannings…)
1) PK is going to South Africa? Man, here’s hoping they keep him.
2) “Jim Brown Tests Gravity” You guys come up with the best FF team names.
This was just brilliant: in his article, PK talked about how he doesn’t think that printed newspapers will die. He talked about how there were such good articles in them. What did he do to prove that? He posted an internet link. Holy mother of God, my head nearly exploded when I saw that.
I’d like a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat.
@LowDesertPunk:
You have instilled in me a belief that sport is a unified whole. Go world.
I go from 2-4 inches in 10 seconds.
@Joakim Noah’s: I’d agree that Parks and Rec is probably a very good show but had similarly high expectations. However, if no one watches it maybe Ken Tremendous will have to return to Fremulon and all will be right in the internets.
Mark Schlereth (is that even close to right?) is quite amazing. I’ve never heard anyone talk for a longer period of time without stuttering or overtly repeating himself, and still say nothing in response to a direct question, to wit:
Will the Colts win? The Colts are a team that plays as well as Payton Manning. The quarterback is the most important position in the National Football League. Payton Manning is the quarterback, heck, he’s more like the coach. In the National Football League there isn’t another quarterback I would trust more than Payton Manning. He’s as good as anyone else out there. He’s as good as A Tom Brady or A Drew Brees. And he’s the LEADER of that Football Team.
/did I make that up? is it a direct quote? I’m not sure.
The new motto for Enterprise Rental Cars: “You’ll suck a dick to get a rental car at that point.”
Sam Adams, like fucking Fatburger, is lame. If you’re from the New England area then drinking Sam is fine, otherwise not. How anyone can think Fatburger is anything close to In N Out is beyond me, that place sucks. So there.
OK. I m Greek. I live in the Netherlands. I watch as many NFL games as i can with my German buddy and we go straight to work. But we also love soccer (that’s our football, anyway). I pray to god that the legendary PK (also an abbreviation of a kick-ass soviet machine gun, coincidence?) raids the World Cup. OK, he may know about soccer as much as i know about quantum mechanics (or the Newtonian Law as far as Jim Brown is concerned) but come on, people, don’t you wanna read stories about the coffee in some remote fishing village west of Cape Town? Now that i think about it, in 2012 human race finds a shelter in South Africa when John Cusack saves the day, Morgan Freeman is going for an Oscar portraying Mandela, the aliens face xenophobia and social segregation in District 9 in the slums of Johannesburg, somewhere, somehow i am convinced that PK must fit in. I mean the guy has become a legend (via KSK) in half of Rotterdam bars….give the man a break…
Lockout! From the horse’s mouth you get it, folks!
Actually, this is the only kind of thing I believe King might have any kind of insight into. If it’s a breaking tidbit, Peter is nowhere to be found, and the obvious choices are Glazer and Schefter. If you want to see the point absolutely slaughtered, you turn on the ESPN Mothership for 15 minutes. Then, if you care, you can look back and see how perfectly off-base PK’s wishy-washy speculations were, if he bothered to have them. But all that access he dangles in his readers’ faces might come in handy in covering a broader story like this one. I put more stock in this than I do any of his usual bullshit.
Also: granted, your chances of sucking generally go up if you come out of the greater Boston area. That’s a given.
Sam Adams is the X factor. Sam Adams is DELICIOUS. I’m going the other way here. H/t, Jim Koch.
Joe Montana is totally overrated! Like that time he got traded from the Niners! He totally faded into obscurity after leading KC into 2 straight playoff seasons. Oh he retired? Yeah well, whens the last time he won a superbowl huh???
I like Parks and Rec and watch it every week, but based on the ingredients going into it I was hoping for something Simpsons-In-Its-Prime good. And no, I am not backtracking simply because my comment seemed to rouse papa bear.
“I forgot to mention I rented a Prius out here over the weekend … and I don’t notice the slow acceleration” Really? At 10.1 seconds 0-60, you’ll be about a second behind the Nissan Cube; it’s slower to 60 than a Smart Fortwo. Didn’t notice the slow acceleration? The traffic backed up behind you on the onramp sure noticed it.
And what would have happened to “Roseanne” if they didn’t introduce the second Becky?
Oh wait …
Drew Brees would’ve given the bitchy woman his car and offered to babysit the kids for the night.
@Tricky Dick: Rich people stay rich by making others pay
Hmmm…
/checks Wall Street bailouts and bonuses for destroying economy.
… Yup.
Peter, exactly how do you let someone “walk in trade”? That phrase might be the most retarded in his entire 4 pages of retard drool.
Of course, Peter is less your dose of methadone this offseason than he is your quadruple shot espresso carameliatti mochaiatto with shaved white chocolate and ancho chili powder.
Bobby Flay, that you?
Owners want reimbursement from players for stadiums paid for by taxpayers… what?
All sports teams owners can eat a bag of dixx. They are the ones counting chickens before they are hatched when they go outbidding one another to overpay some player who has yet to do anything significant or is already halfway down the mountain of decline. Rich people stay rich by making others pay for their reckless spending. maybe if one of those fuckers held themselves responsible for a change…
/dick joke
“Parks and Recreation” and “Community” are both fucking hilarious. That guy with the mustache on “Parks and Rec”: he doesn’t even have to say anything. He just stares at someone as if he’s fantasizing about shooting them in the face and I laugh my ass off.
“And at least PK hardly ever gets up in arms about non-events”
I’m not sure if that’s sarcasm or the funniest thing I’ve read today
… or BOTH!
God…someone is actually paying this fat fuck to go to South Africa for the world cup?? I hope he gets AIDs from one of the hookers out there. I can only imagine what idiotic things he’ll say about soccer. I mean, if he can’t do a good job on something he’s supposedly an expert in, imagine how bad of a job he’ll do reporting on something he doesn’t know jack shit about.
Fuck the World Cup anyways, I’m excited for the champions league to start tomorrow. That’s the real tournament.
Ripping on Plaschke is always a good idea. That guy makes PK look coherent. And at least PK hardly ever gets up in arms about non-events, well that don’t involve coffee.
GhostsoftheUpcountry Says:
February 15th, 2010 at 10:44 am
What I really enjoyed was how he mentioned Otto Graham’s 7 championships in 10 pro seasons but doesn’t have him on his list of HOF QBs and their playoff/title game records? I reckon, Ol’ Otto hasn’t got Petey’s twitter address or cell number.
Thats because Ol’ Otto is dead & gone.
I won’t have any knocking of Parks and Rec here. That show has gotten really fucking good.
If PK is methadone, I’m just gonna keep railing these oxy 80s like there’s no tomorrow.
The Office began its decline when Jim and Pam became an insufferable couple. Please, write in Jim getting drunk and banging Kelly Kapoor, which would actually be quasi-realish.
In fact, it’s not even legit enough to be hypothetical. It’s more underthetical at this point.
/takes bait
But that’s what hypo- means!!11!
Ah, fuggedaboutit.
/fucks off
RE 85 Says:
“I’m gonna skip making a dick joke just this once to ask if anyone can please explain to me where the owners are coming from on this stadium issue? If the average stadium is used for maybe 25 or 30 years, and the average player plays for 4-5 years (both guesses, but still), why exactly should the players be asked to help pay for them when they receive zero long-term benefit from them? And when, with the exception of Jacksonville and maybe St. Louis, any of these owners could sell out 70,000 folding chairs in a garbage dump to watch these teams play?”
Don’t know about other teams with glittering new stadiums, but Jerrah and the Boys are having to sue luxury suite leaseholders who don’t want to (or can’t) pay for stadium suite leases they signed back when the economy wasn’t in the shitter. When leaseholders default, the entire amount comes due. Per the Dallas Morning News: “The lawsuits add up to $82.3 million in total rent owed to the Cowboys.” Maybe this has a little to do with it. Maybe not.
Hey, I can speculate just like Peter King… All you gotta do is speculate one thing you know nothing about, then suggest its exact opposite.
Good luck with all that lawsuit stuff, JJ. And by “good luck,” I mean Nelson Muntz saying, “Ha ha!”
That’s odd, I could have sworn taxpayers and PSLs pay for stadiums.
Where would “Family Ties” be without Andy Keaton? What an acquisition.
I hate to be with Peter King, but I’m with him on a couple things. That woman was being a jerk considering there was nothing her husband could do about the line, and Sam Adams is good beer.
@ patches:
The decline of The Office has little to do with Nard Dawg becoming a main character, much better than watching Jim and Pam pretend to be a cute couple, and more with the fact that Schur left to write Parks and Recreation. Which based on the fact that it’s written by the guy who did FJM and has Aziz Ansari and Amy Poehler, should be a lot funnier.
I’m all for some serious Boston hate, but the three entries on my “one of the good ones” list are Cheers, the song “More Than A Feeling” and Sam Adams.
Sam Adams (now the biggest wholly-American brewer) was the first national brewer to prove that not all mass-marketed beer has to be watered-down piss. I agree, the commercials are douchey, but the beer is good enough to be the go-to when they have domestic Happy Hour specials.
/waits in vain for Full Sail’s awesome Session line to explode in popularity
“. . . they affect the Saints’ ability to repeat in 2010?”
No – it is never too early – the Saints Dynasty will last for 10,000 years. Just like the great Giants, Ravens, and Bucs teams from the days of yore.
I’m OK with the Boston-hatred, but you can’t hold a whole brewery responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted Massholes. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole beer brewing industry? And if the whole brewing system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our beverage institutions in general? I put it to you, Drew – isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!
Seriously, Sam Adams makes some good beer. Annoying commercials, but tasty beer. Lofty beer.
What conclusions did Jim Brown draw from this expertiment, other than the aldy getting injured and Brown getting locked up again?
I’ve never watched the US verision of the office even though Gervais produces it. it would ruin the British version. The uncomfortable moments of the original can’t be topped.
“We get it. He’s a douchey reporter. Give it a rest and crank out something funny.”
Perhaps you’re not aware of the genesis of most of this site’s content – so why not give it a rest and crank out something other than watching another Carrell mug – take on camera? Why are you still sucking on Immelt’s payroll?
Don’t be ridiculous, Drew. Nobody’s building a new factory in Dayton!
I simply cannot wait to read his clueless lumpen dispatches from the World Cup this summer.
” As I walked the grounds with Jon Miller, the NBC exec whose brainstorm it was to have all-star teams from across the world compete in a two-week soccer-off to determine the whose country plays the best, I couldn’t help but notice all the smiles. French smiles. Australian smiles. Congo smiles. British smiles (more on those later in the column). It got me to thinking about how sports solves some of our world’s biggest problems, which led me to this: why not use the World Cup to end the NFL labor dispute? Next year, hold in entirely at Cowboy Stadium in Arlington, and split the money 50-50 between the soccer world and Jerry Jones. The Stadium gets paid for, the world gets a dazzling treat it will never forget (imagine Africans staring at the mega-jumbotron for the first time!) and the NFL gets a 2011 season. Make it happen, Seth Bladder!”
@Barbaro’s horse cock – Yeah, you tell him, Barbaro’s horse cock! Tell the fat man to be more topical, edgy, and funny, BARBARO’S HORSE COCK. Something new AND funny, COMMENTER NAMED AFTER A HORSE WHO’S BEEN DEAD FOR THREE YEARS, am I right?
I actually had the pleasure of meeting Koch a few times, and he’s really a decent guy, with a sarcastic (nay, Lofty) wit – don’t know why his commercials make him out to be so unbelievably bland all of the time.
BTW, wonder if PK’s suffered an assplode after all of the abuse being heaped on his butt – boy after yet another fatal playoff interception in the NFC championship.
I’m gonna skip making a dick joke just this once to ask if anyone can please explain to me where the owners are coming from on this stadium issue? If the average stadium is used for maybe 25 or 30 years, and the average player plays for 4-5 years (both guesses, but still), why exactly should the players be asked to help pay for them when they receive zero long-term benefit from them? And when, with the exception of Jacksonville and maybe St. Louis, any of these owners could sell out 70,000 folding chairs in a garbage dump to watch these teams play?
Still cranking these out, huh? We get it. He’s a douchey reporter. Give it a rest and crank out something funny.
“Where would “The Office” be without the Nard Dog? What an acquisition.”
You fucktard-anybody with half a brain knows that season 2 (no Narddawg) was the best. Adding characters is something writers do when they run out of ideas.
So this Remy’s has everything from a Boston beer to… a Westminster, MA beer? I guess I’m not surprised that this is what passes for diversity in New England.
/actually likes Noble Pils
the decline of the office (which is just about complete by now) began when they made “the nard dog” a major character
sam adams is always a good decision
PK says: “I like the old Darrin in “Bewitched” better than this new guy. Why do they do this to us?”