Nacho Doesn’t Know His Own Poise
02.05.10I ran into The Conquistador at the Madden Bowl party tonight in Miami. Guy has so much poise he didn’t even know what to say when I asked him about his poise. The full interview tomorrow will be up at The Sporting Blog.
Beef Moe, however, he’s never at a loss fo’ words. Fo’ sho’.
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Don’t fucking divulge the reason behind asking “How much poise do you have right now?” Just fucking ask it, let him respond with awkward confused silence and leave. Fucking Washington Post doesn’t teach you jack shit. This guy comes off as more of a self-conscious pussy than Mr. Boom Goes the Dynamite.
As much as I’d like to pull a Daily Show bit, ask him one question and let him sit there and stew, I had to get more out of him for The Sporting Blog, which isn’t quite the humor-based blog that KSK is. Also it didn’t help that Sanchise’s publicist was trying to pull him out the door. I had about a minute to work with, so I had to move on. But, whatevs, you’re the one who thinks WaPo should be teaching reporters how to conduct embarrassing interviews.
@Ape
but you didn’t lack grit.
Peter King doesn’t understand why you didn’t just text both of those players
Without having read any of the comments, I am thoroughly disappointed by the urgency Ape has displayed to explain himself in his questioning.
Don’t fucking divulge the reason behind asking “How much poise do you have right now?” Just fucking ask it, let him respond with awkward confused silence and leave. Fucking Washington Post doesn’t teach you jack shit. This guy comes off as more of a self-conscious pussy than Mr. Boom Goes the Dynamite.
Love the blog. Just don’t fucking puss out.
You need lots of poise to date rape and get away with it.
“Xmas Ape leads the league in interrupting millionaires” – Peter King
I was at a party in high school where Marshawn Lynch was in attendance (he went to Tech, I went to Mac), and that fool was hilarious. and he had one of the thickest Oakland ghetto accent I had ever heard, and then when he put his grill in it became 100x worse. funny guy though. also, he’s related to Jamarcus Russell, which might explain the fact that between the two of them, you can’t get a full sentence.
Beef Moe and Bubb Rubb must be distant cousins.
Thanks for the new ringtone…fo sho!
http://m.espn.go.com/nfl/story?storyId=4889288&top
I didn’t know Monkey Business was going to Miami
Take comfort in the fact that you have already conducted more journalism on this trip than Peter King will this whole year.
Nacho maintained eye discipline, did you see that?
Ape, ya should’ve asked for a definition of warpussy and pussytubing.
“Ponch (Ryan’s name for Sanchez), did you show great POISE when nailing that South Beach Tang”?
“Yes CA”
“THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE”.
Yeah, man. If you’re going to ask ridiculous questions, you have to let the awkwardness build while they struggle for an answer. Don’t step on your own punchline.
AArgh… stupid internets! I just wasted internet credits posting twice for no reason.
Sanchise’s mom dressed him that morning with great POISE.
Drew Brees has offered to share his poise with Sanchez and homeless kids from Celaya, Mexico.
Drew Brees has offer to share his poise with Sanchez and homeless kids from Celaya Mexico.
Peter King is jealous of your access, Ape.
Sanchez certainly led that interview in poise. And grittiness.
I clearly lacked poise.
“…that was, like, the big press cliche with you this season, so that’s that’s just why I bring that up…”
Dammit Ape, you gotta stick your landings! All the Russian sports humor bloggers stick their landings!
Sanchez was probably confused because you called him Mark. His name is Taco. Or Conquistador. Or something vaguely Mexicanish.
The best part was that Marshawn was just hanging out on the street at midnight. I went up to him and said “Hey Marshawn, can I get a Beast Mode?”
Instead I got a couple fo’ sho’s
Marshawn are you now the backup to Fred Jackson?.
Fo Sho Fo sho
As great as the Beef Mo clip was, it doesn’t come close to making up for this past season.
And once again fans in Da Buff weep…
This is too awesome for words.
(lady in background) OH MY GOD THAT’S XZIBIT!!!!!!
Fo sho fo sho!
Be all WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH stoopid on the camera. Fo sho fo sho
Did Larry King’s writers give you those questions, Ape?