“He didn’t even say anything about shrimp cocktail! No honorary cedilla for him! We just learned what those are because Garkonia has one! Peyton should have a cedilla on every letter. But a CAPTAIN’S cedilla!”
-Derique from Munçhie
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There are 46 comments about:
“If you check the dictionary under “Fat Piece of Shit”, there’s a picture of Jared.”
In other words, if you check the dictionary for “Fat Piece of Shit,” you get a picture of a Fat Hump. Thanks for settling that.
Well played, Jefferson Tardship, well played.
Jared looks like he enjoys swinging steak foot longs. I thought they got rid of him. He’s like a bad penny or a whinning fat hump (we keep coming back).
worst comments section on KSK in awhile. what happened to NFL player cake jokes and Breesus being the best friend every guy wants (a la Chuck Norris format)?
slash, you live above a subway? does your apartment smell asstastic like all subways do? I lived behind a subway once and now come close to vomiting when smelling that very unique subway smell.
Is it wrong that I wish I lived over a Subway sandwich place? What? I like their sandwiches. Not the best by any means, but reasonably priced and reasonably tasty.
did someone on here say Jared is a poonhound? I want to here more about this salacious gossip!
Ahh Jared, I actually lived in the same dorm as him, then the fat bastard moved into the same apartment complex! He had to walk an impressive 40 ft to Subway every day since it was conveniently part of the building. The best part is, he had a tiny little asian mini-me following him around constantly.
rallys up in indy is the same thing as checkers down in florida (i think)
also, i used to work at outback back in highschool and jared came in one day…
//just realized how boring that story was
Half the guys have stories about being cockblocked by Jared
Oh thats perfect- The humptards are so pathetic they actually get cock-blocked by the guy from the Subway commercials.
MB quick question: how can you lose weight by being a lazy piece of shit? i doubt the amount of calories he burned walking down the stairs to subway offset the amount in his extra cheese, heavy on the mayo cold cut combo. jarod’s dad’s a doctor. i’m guessing he lost the weight because he got a script to chow down on a bunch of adderall.
Everyone in Indy has a story about an attractive female friend
See, we already know you are lying.
@Wow just wow: preach on brother!
Every city sucks in its own special way b/c every city is populated by douchebags…it’s just different flavors of douchebaggery in different parts of the country. Now we should all get back to what we’re supposed to be doing here…making fun of the nation’s most ridiculous Fat Hump…Jared (and much as I hate to admit it, MB is right, most of us other fat humps think he’s a flaming turd).
/thoroughly enjoyed typing the word “douchebaggery”
//thinks Subway tastes like ass on cardboard with a heaping helping of mayo
I’m impressed that Ape didn’t punch the hump.
Do shitty 50’s diner chains serve better food in whatever part of the country you’re from? :P
See, this is the point. Where I’m from we get our food from local restaurants run by people with any number of ethnic backgrounds, not from shitty 50′s diner chains which all went out of business because, as I said, nobody eats that shit around here.
Well, you see the trick to chili over pasta is to simply not order it. Helpful tip of the day!
@TPT:
It is a place that prides itself on its chili dogs.
The difference between the mid-atlantic and the midwest: it’s only one restaurant, not an entire region.
Chili over spaghetti… is strange and unusual?
I mean, I know there are regional biases, but… Chili over pasta just doesn’t strike me as something that’d start mass freakouts.
Wait a minute….people get cockblocked by JARED?! Oh you must mean get cocked by Jared. As in Jared butt fucks them…that I believe.
Dear commenters (commentors?). Bring the funny or get the fuck out!!
wonderbread… I eat things like chili cheese fries, or perhaps a chili dog, but only if I make everything myself. chili = lower quality meat than hot dogs.
Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves here. Jared only lost weight because he was a lazy piece of shit and couldn’t be bothered to go anywhere other than the Subway that was right under his apartment. Seriously. His apartment was right above the fucking Subway. He was within four blocks of about a dozen other restaurants and bars and the only place his fat ass could go was Subway.
Also, he’s a sleazy douchebag. Everyone in Indy has a story about an attractive female friend of theirs getting hit on by Jared. Half the guys have stories about being cockblocked by Jared. He’s just generally a shitty human being.
If you check the dictionary under “Fat Piece of Shit”, there’s a picture of Jared.
What the hell is wrong with his scalp? Lice? Fleas?
i guess nobody caught the intro to Jared as “probably the most famous Colts fan”
….damn Indy, you can’t do sh*t right. you should’a drafted ryan leaf just as a catalyst to fat on fat crime once he was shown to be a monumental bust.
@Fred Smoot’s Jock:
I went to the Hard Times link and clicked on the #4 button and saw three ButtaFace’s. I guess that’s better than seeing 3 Fat Humps on a Steak N’ Shake website.
///knows Drew’s ass has seen the bottom of a bowl at Hard Times Cafe
So Drew’s ass was over the bowl? That explains why Skyline Chili looks like shit.
Not so much a matter of it being disgusting. It’s just bizarre — the kind of thing you’d almost have to live in Indiana or Ohio to eat.
Mew, I take it back. What the hell is wrong with you people? Are you all fucking gourmands? Is chili truly such a wonderful substance that it shouldn’t be tainted with contact with other foodstuffs? Never had it on a fucking potato? Heaven help us if you encounter a chili dog; I can only imagine the uproar.
However, what makes Steak n’ Shake chili disgusting (which I hear is alright by itself, although I never personally ate it and here’s why) is that, according to a friend who worked there in high school, their “special chili sauce” advertised in some of the makeups is, in essence if not in fact, ketchup.
chili: one of the few foods that looks the same coming in as going out.
Steak n Shake serves CHILI OVER SPAGHETTI? I never thought it was THAT disgusting.
Steak N Shake is OK. Reasonably tasty food at a reasonable price. Not the best, by any stretch…
I have never had the chili over spaghetti. Sounds gross, but I know some people like it. Different strokes and all that…
As soon as the camera went off, Jared offered to rent them some porn.
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2007-05-09/bwe-exclusive-jared-fogle-the-pornography-guy/
@Wonderbread,
Johnny Rockets makes a good burger, though the potential of the staff breaking out in dance kind of balances that out.
@MD
HEY! You leave skyline chili out of this. DON’T KNOCK IT UNLESS YOU’VE TRIED IT!
/spent two very strange formative years in Cincy
//still enjoys skyline chili
///knows Drew’s ass has seen the bottom of a bowl at Hard Times Cafe
Checker’s? Don’t you mean Rally’s?
Come on. I know this is a humor blog, but at least pretend to try.
Or do you consider yourself something of a fry connoisseur, Mr. Bong?
Hey, far be it from me to defend Colts fans, but chili over spaghetti is fucking delicious. Of course, living in New Mexico, we don’t truck with what the Midwest would call chili. Point is, don’t knock it until you’ve gorged on it.
/fat
Bringing up Steak ‘n Shake to a Fat Hump who’s lost a bunch of weight is like leaving Michael Irvin in a room alone with a pile of crack. Look at the way he twitched and started scratching his head. There’s a binge afoot.
“Hopefully we’ll have our second win, our second Super Bowl ring…”
You’ve already stolen the team, you might as well take Super Bowl V as well.
Wonderbread, yes, there’s a whole different world outside Land of Shit. Fuck, at least Checkers has decent fries.
You people? What do you mean you people?
…
Do shitty 50′s diner chains serve better food in whatever part of the country you’re from? :P
Mew: It’s the Rust Belt. Chili over spaghetti is fine dining to these unemployed Neanderthals.
I’m not sure what I’m more shocked by: Jared’s rejection of Steak n’ Shake or the fact that there’s someone with a name like Derique in Muncie.
Colts fans want the Super Bowl rings to be made out of Cubic Garkonia.
/shows self out
At what point to the Fat Humps just give up the pretense at “dining” and start biting into sticks of butter?
Çubway. Eat Fresh!
I just read about steak n shake on wikipedia…
They are also known for their “hand-dipped, real-milk” milkshakes,[3], available in several flavors. Other milkshake varieties include malts, Sippable Sundaes (milkshakes with toppings), Side-By-Side milkshakes (containing two flavors in one cup), and Bits n Pieces milkshakes (containing candy mixed inside the shake). Steak ‘n Shake also serves chili (including chili over spaghetti, much like Cincinnati-style chili), melts, Steakburger shooters and a number of other products.
CHILI OVER SPAGHETTI? what the fuck? you people embarrass this country.
he was already dead to Colts fans, his pants size is under 40.