This handsome confection comes to us via Kendall’s Cakes.
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news & humor before everyone else.
"A Cake Fit For El Conquistador"
Wow, they didn’t even try with the Ray Lewis jersey:
Not only does the Ray Lewis cake come with its own knife, it cuts you back.
I’m excited to see other uses for the “TBL wants to know if he can get one with the body attached” tag.
The Mark Sanchez cake is nacho flavored with a queso frosting.
Best. Tags. Ever.
/mb would like to know if he could get one in the shape of Fetushead penis.
Nacho looks like he has Norv Turner’s face-skin.
Let’s just say that’s not a butter creme frosting on the Leinart cake.
/chill cake brah
Mancrush.com thinks this cake is creepishly gay and uncomfortable.
What do you call cake that doesn’t belong to you?
Reading hilarious tags on a post is like getting a free dessert at a restaurant. You’re not really expecting it, but when you get it: Simply delightful.
I also share in Robut M. Nixon’s excitement.
The Joe Namath version is rum cake.
Wait. You said “this came comes to us”. Did someone actually SEND you that cake? If so, awesome!
Still waiting for the Rex Ryan Middle Finger cake
They even added the Edward James Olmos pockmarks to his face. Nice ethinic touch!
The Jeff Garcia design is made entirely out of fruit cake.
My eyes! It’s like looking into Ray-Ray’s soul.
The Tim Tebow cake is angel food. However, it won’t perform as a dessert on this level.
The McNabb cake falls apart in the last two minutes of baking.
The Terrel Owens cake thinks it would have tasted better if it had been baked by a better pastry chef.
Jez- Just the picture unfortunately. The fiancé saw it at a bridal show last week.
Even his cake doesn’t hold up in cold weather.
Cakes made to look like real people are creepy as fuck.
The Cutler cake is salty.
The Manning cake is misshapen.
The Russell cake is just too large.
/HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN, DESSERTS?
The Welker cake is a bit too gritty for consumption.
@ Unsilent Majority – This was at a BRIDAL SHOW?
Man: “Thanks for letting me pick the cake for the wedding hun!”
Woman: “This wedding is off.” (gives him the Rex Ryan middle finger cake as a breakup gift)
I hope there is a Rex Ryan cake made with bacon and fried cheese.
Yea, TBL wants one but he wants it CREAM filled. And by ‘cream’, I mean jizz.
The Chris Cooley cake is smaller than all the other cakes we’ve seen on the internet.
The Drew Brees cake tastes delicious.
(Drew dropped it off at your office cause he knew you were having a rough week.)
The Favre cake doesn’t know if it wants to be baked or not.
I don’t even want to know what the Najeh Davenport cake is made of.
The Braylon Edwards cake is upside down on the floor.
The Steve McNair cake is scattered all over the sofa and floor.
@85 – nope – the Braylon Edwards cake gets dropped on the way to the table.
The Vince Young cake has Zoloft in it.
The Ricky Williams cake was baked for an entire year.
The Marmalard cake is full of piss and vinegar. What? Huh? What?
/cake floats off table
The Sarah Palin cake has little foreign policy experience.
The Chris Henry cake had an unfortunate accident in the back of the delivery truck.
The Emmit Smith cake is made with only the finest inconvenients.
The Alex Smith cake didn’t turn out anything like the picture on the box.
the visanthe schacone cake looks like a huge cock, amirite?
The Michael Vick cake is chocolate with chocolate chips, chocolate sauce, and chocolate icing.
Because chocolate kills dogs, see.
The Favre cake tastes really great right up to the last bite. Which is cat poo.
The Plaxico Burress cake is just a bundt cake.
Wow…The Chris Henry, McNair, Vick, and Chris Cooley ones have resulted in me trying…and failing to explain the humour to my wife when she wanted to know what was soo funny.
In order, “you see it’s funny, bc he died falling out of the back of the truck trying to assault his fiancee…ummm not funny to you, Okay… “You see it’s funny bc he was murdered by his crazy mistress” umm yeah, not good that he was cheating on his wife….ummm, “You see it’s funny bc he kills dogs…..okay “You see it’s funny bc he accidently put a picture of his penis on the web that wasn’t as big as other atheletes black penises on the……yeah, I saw the pics….what no that’s not gay……” Thanks guys
And you eat the Merriman cake when your lady tells you not to.
The Randy Moss cake is still a can of frosting and a box of cake mix. It doesn’t want to make the effort to be made.
The Reggie Bush cake doesn’t taste nearly as delicious as the Mario Williams cake.
Women don’t get humor.
/runs away from the women here
//still gets stabbed by RayRay’s cake
The Travis Henry Cake comes with a dozen cupcakes, but they all look different.
the LT cake falls apart before you can eat it.
The Kurt Warner cake is a communion wafer.
The Adrian Peterson cake will wind up on the ground 3-4 times.
“The Travis Henry Cake comes with a dozen cupcakes, but they all look different.”
Wow! Well-played. Disruptive laughter in the workplace ensued.
The Chulu Ztulu cake takes 10 seconds to bake
The Hines Wald cake has a cheap shot of bourbon in it.
[i]The Ray Lewis cake comes with its own knife[/i]
Please. The Goth Rodgers cake [i]cuts itself[/i].
Excuse me while I fail at italics.
/shows self out
The Peyton Manning cake goes flat when you wave a fork at it, then blames the entree.
The Plax cake should have a little nail file in it. . .
And wouldn’t Rex Ryan’s cake just eat itself?
Oh, and Rothlisburger: Roofies.
Not pictured: the Rex Ryan cake, which promptly ate itself upon being removed from the oven.
Shouldnt the Hines Ward cake be divided in half, with one half being chocolate and the other half being yellow custard on the inside?
The Hines Ward cake should be half chocolate and half yellow custard.
Shows self out for double entry.
/heh heh, double entry
@Necro – use instead of [ and ] and it should work.
The Detroit Lions drafted a cake, but it turned out to be chicken trattorio instead.
The Raiders drafted a cake because its baking time was the fastest.
The Houston Texans drafted a cake, and everyone said they picked the wrong one.
The Peter King cake is a bit nutty, lacks substance, and free coffee it comes with is just frickin’ terrible!
…crap – use the greater than, less than symbols…apparently it disregards those regardless of context.
yeah…that’s the stuff
The Percy Harvin ice cream cake gave me a terrible headache.
Hey ManginosStarvingChildren, FACK YOU.
The Jerrah Jones cake is huge, overpriced and FUCKINCRAZYYEEHAW!!!
FACK YOU, dudebro, you facking queeah! You don’t know anything about hahdship!
J-Marcus cake, made of Quikrete and frosted with blubber….
The Sanchez cake needs more moles.
The Tom Cable cake beats up the women who bake it . . . .
Steve Young and Troy Aikman’s cakes have no idea where they are
/it’s funny because they were concussed so much
The Mercury Morris cake sits on the counter hoping the other cakes will taste bad.
The Ben’s cake tastes like windshield
Lovie Smith’s cake . . . may actually be Lovie Smith.
Charles Haley’s cake squirts icing on other cakes. AND IS MASSIVE.
The Tom Brady cake is too self-absorbed to realize it tastes like shit.
The Larry Fitzgerald cake has a ritz cracker base and is topped with very sticky icing.
The Ochocinco cake is sprinkled with bacon dust and is shaped like a car boat.
The Cutler cakes are getting shoplifted as fast as he can cook them.
The Vernon Gholston cake looks tastier than all of them, but it’s just icing on top of a pile of cardboard boxes.
The Washington Redskins cake is made up of the most expensive ingredients money can buy, but still tastes like shit, because the guy who runs the kitchen is a motherfucking idiot.
And the Rae Caruth cake murdered a pregnant pie he was seeing on the side. Now it’s in jail, tossing salads and getting fucked in the ass.
Lovie Smith’s cake would like to challenge being baked
WWSM your hatred sustains me
I think you left out one more tag “Why yes, I did just tag that”
that is all
The Eli Manning cake is sick of being compared to the much more successful Peyton cake.
Norv Turner’s tiny cake got blown up in the backfield by Ray Lewis’ cake…
Peyton’s cake is perfect, yet flavorless.
The chef of the Brady cake has spies in other kitchens.
Tony Romo cakes aren’t available in January.
The Favre cake was once a bestseller, gets discontinued, put back on the market for a limited time only, sales suck, gets discontinued again, brought back with a new purple flavor, sales hit the roof, now is quite disappointing again. In danger of discontinuation.
The Eric Mangini cake doesn’t reveal its ingredients until Thursdays.
The Wes WELKAHHH cake leads the kitchen in grit, as a result of Bernard Pollard scaring the cook into dropping it onto the dirty floor.
The NFL on Fox cake has two layers…
Joe Buck on the bottom and Troy on the top…
Next week, it flips…
Mort’s cake is the complete opposite of Schefter’s cake……and Schefter’s cake always hits the spot.
Garrard’s cake is not so much cake, as a smooth French Silk Pie…..but alas, there is no cake in the champagne room.
Strahan gets two cakes, and they are placed about 100 feet from each other. (Because he has a gap-tooth, see.)
…..and, that’s not powdered sugar on Irvin’s cake.
You’d really like to try the Nate Kaeding cake, but it keeps missing your mouth.
(This is some of the funniest shit I have ever read. Well fucking done, KSK commenters.)
That shit looks like one of the Thunderbirds.
I think the cake just threw another incompletion.
Fuck you, Dirty Sanchez.
Matt Leinart’s cake was supposed to be really good when it came out of the oven, but after tasting it, everyone decided to finish off the Kurt Warner cake instead. Now that the Warner cake is gone, brah, it’s time to try the Leinart cake again.
/Warner’s cake molded by the hand of God
The Jim Caldwell cake is flavorless, yet people will tell you it’s one of the best cakes around.
@AP – and Irvin’s cake will STAB YOU IN THE FUCKING NECK WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS IF YOU TRY ANOTHER CAKE FIRST.
The LT cake insists it’s as good as ever, but falls apart as soon as you touch it with your fork.
Want Hot, Nasty Phone Sex! 1-888-428-4036 Any act, all fetishes! 69c to 1.69 per minute! CALL NOW 1-888-428-4036
Join the discussion. Sign Up or Sign In