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02.03.10 at 2:38 pm
Make Some NOSIE!
The LT cake insists it’s as good as ever, but falls apart as soon as you touch it with your fork.
/bakebakebakebakebakebakebakebakebake
02.03.10 at 2:32 pm
Make Some NOSIE!
@AP – and Irvin’s cake will STAB YOU IN THE FUCKING NECK WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS IF YOU TRY ANOTHER CAKE FIRST.
/veteran’d
02.03.10 at 11:09 am
Anonymous Pussytuber
The Jim Caldwell cake is flavorless, yet people will tell you it’s one of the best cakes around.
02.03.10 at 10:45 am
Make Some NOSIE!
Matt Leinart’s cake was supposed to be really good when it came out of the oven, but after tasting it, everyone decided to finish off the Kurt Warner cake instead. Now that the Warner cake is gone, brah, it’s time to try the Leinart cake again.
/Warner’s cake molded by the hand of God
02.03.10 at 6:58 am
Bacon and cheez whiz
I think the cake just threw another incompletion.
Fuck you, Dirty Sanchez.
02.02.10 at 11:38 pm
Mike Bison
That shit looks like one of the Thunderbirds.
02.02.10 at 8:44 pm
It's Always Raining in Negadelphia
You’d really like to try the Nate Kaeding cake, but it keeps missing your mouth.
(This is some of the funniest shit I have ever read. Well fucking done, KSK commenters.)
02.02.10 at 8:17 pm
AP
Mort’s cake is the complete opposite of Schefter’s cake……and Schefter’s cake always hits the spot.
Garrard’s cake is not so much cake, as a smooth French Silk Pie…..but alas, there is no cake in the champagne room.
Strahan gets two cakes, and they are placed about 100 feet from each other. (Because he has a gap-tooth, see.)
…..and, that’s not powdered sugar on Irvin’s cake.
02.02.10 at 7:07 pm
Lack of Foreskin
The NFL on Fox cake has two layers…
Joe Buck on the bottom and Troy on the top…
Next week, it flips…
02.02.10 at 5:01 pm
Paul
The Wes WELKAHHH cake leads the kitchen in grit, as a result of Bernard Pollard scaring the cook into dropping it onto the dirty floor.
02.02.10 at 4:12 pm
Mark Sanchez's Hairy Mole
The Eric Mangini cake doesn’t reveal its ingredients until Thursdays.
02.02.10 at 4:10 pm
Mark Sanchez's Hairy Mole
The Favre cake was once a bestseller, gets discontinued, put back on the market for a limited time only, sales suck, gets discontinued again, brought back with a new purple flavor, sales hit the roof, now is quite disappointing again. In danger of discontinuation.
02.02.10 at 4:06 pm
LaFarve's Next Drink
Tony Romo cakes aren’t available in January.
02.02.10 at 4:03 pm
EastEndClam
The chef of the Brady cake has spies in other kitchens.
02.02.10 at 3:55 pm
Make Some NOSIE!
Norv Turner’s tiny cake got blown up in the backfield by Ray Lewis’ cake…
Peyton’s cake is perfect, yet flavorless.
02.02.10 at 3:55 pm
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
The Eli Manning cake is sick of being compared to the much more successful Peyton cake.
02.02.10 at 3:38 pm
McNulty
RAPE
that is all
02.02.10 at 3:32 pm
Larry Foote's Left Foot
I think you left out one more tag “Why yes, I did just tag that”
02.02.10 at 3:02 pm
Quentin LogJammin'
WWSM your hatred sustains me
02.02.10 at 2:59 pm
crispyaod
Lovie Smith’s cake would like to challenge being baked
02.02.10 at 2:57 pm
Whowillsexmtombo?
And the Rae Caruth cake murdered a pregnant pie he was seeing on the side. Now it’s in jail, tossing salads and getting fucked in the ass.
02.02.10 at 2:55 pm
Whowillsexmtombo?
The Washington Redskins cake is made up of the most expensive ingredients money can buy, but still tastes like shit, because the guy who runs the kitchen is a motherfucking idiot.
02.02.10 at 2:38 pm
PickSix
The Vernon Gholston cake looks tastier than all of them, but it’s just icing on top of a pile of cardboard boxes.
02.02.10 at 2:34 pm
Duck of Death
The Cutler cakes are getting shoplifted as fast as he can cook them.
02.02.10 at 2:30 pm
jackin'4beats
The Tom Brady cake is too self-absorbed to realize it tastes like shit.
The Larry Fitzgerald cake has a ritz cracker base and is topped with very sticky icing.
The Ochocinco cake is sprinkled with bacon dust and is shaped like a car boat.
02.02.10 at 2:29 pm
Make Some NOSIE!
Charles Haley’s cake squirts icing on other cakes. AND IS MASSIVE.
02.02.10 at 2:21 pm
ManginosStarvingChildren
Lovie Smith’s cake . . . may actually be Lovie Smith.
02.02.10 at 2:20 pm
WYD
The Ben’s cake tastes like windshield
02.02.10 at 2:19 pm
Whowillsexmtombo?
The Mercury Morris cake sits on the counter hoping the other cakes will taste bad.
02.02.10 at 2:18 pm
Make Some NOSIE!
Steve Young and Troy Aikman’s cakes have no idea where they are
/it’s funny because they were concussed so much
02.02.10 at 2:17 pm
ManginosStarvingChildren
The Tom Cable cake beats up the women who bake it . . . .
02.02.10 at 2:11 pm
LaFarve's Next Drink
The Sanchez cake needs more moles.
02.02.10 at 2:05 pm
Duck of Death
J-Marcus cake, made of Quikrete and frosted with blubber….
02.02.10 at 2:05 pm
ManginosStarvingChildren
FACK YOU, dudebro, you facking queeah! You don’t know anything about hahdship!
02.02.10 at 2:04 pm
Spanky Datass
The Jerrah Jones cake is huge, overpriced and FUCKINCRAZYYEEHAW!!!
02.02.10 at 2:00 pm
dudebro
Hey ManginosStarvingChildren, FACK YOU.
02.02.10 at 1:59 pm
tgreenfield
The Percy Harvin ice cream cake gave me a terrible headache.
02.02.10 at 1:58 pm
Make Some NOSIE!
…crap – use the greater than, less than symbols…apparently it disregards those regardless of context.
yeah…that’s the stuff
02.02.10 at 1:57 pm
WYD
The Peter King cake is a bit nutty, lacks substance, and free coffee it comes with is just frickin’ terrible!
02.02.10 at 1:56 pm
Make Some NOSIE!
@Necro – use instead of [ and ] and it should work.
The Detroit Lions drafted a cake, but it turned out to be chicken trattorio instead.
The Raiders drafted a cake because its baking time was the fastest.
The Houston Texans drafted a cake, and everyone said they picked the wrong one.
02.02.10 at 1:44 pm
Whoopie Goldberg's Eyebrows
Shows self out for double entry.
/heh heh, double entry
02.02.10 at 1:43 pm
Whoopie Goldberg's Eyebrows
The Hines Ward cake should be half chocolate and half yellow custard.
02.02.10 at 1:43 pm
Whoopie Goldberg's Eyebrows
Shouldnt the Hines Ward cake be divided in half, with one half being chocolate and the other half being yellow custard on the inside?
02.02.10 at 1:43 pm
dudebro
Not pictured: the Rex Ryan cake, which promptly ate itself upon being removed from the oven.
02.02.10 at 1:42 pm
ManginosStarvingChildren
The Plax cake should have a little nail file in it. . .
And wouldn’t Rex Ryan’s cake just eat itself?
Oh, and Rothlisburger: Roofies.
02.02.10 at 1:37 pm
NavyChief04
The Peyton Manning cake goes flat when you wave a fork at it, then blames the entree.
02.02.10 at 1:36 pm
NecroBreaker
Excuse me while I fail at italics.
/shows self out
02.02.10 at 1:35 pm
NecroBreaker
[i]The Ray Lewis cake comes with its own knife[/i]
Please. The Goth Rodgers cake [i]cuts itself[/i].
02.02.10 at 1:30 pm
LaFarve's Next Drink
The Hines Wald cake has a cheap shot of bourbon in it.
02.02.10 at 1:25 pm
Sarlacc83
The Chulu Ztulu cake takes 10 seconds to bake
02.02.10 at 1:24 pm
Bob Sacamano Lives
“The Travis Henry Cake comes with a dozen cupcakes, but they all look different.”
Wow! Well-played. Disruptive laughter in the workplace ensued.
02.02.10 at 1:12 pm
IISaiNtII
The Adrian Peterson cake will wind up on the ground 3-4 times.
02.02.10 at 1:07 pm
Nathan Hale
The Kurt Warner cake is a communion wafer.
02.02.10 at 12:54 pm
Anonymous Pussytuber
the LT cake falls apart before you can eat it.
02.02.10 at 12:47 pm
Blaytor
The Travis Henry Cake comes with a dozen cupcakes, but they all look different.
02.02.10 at 12:47 pm
ThePirateSloth
Women don’t get humor.
/runs away from the women here
//still gets stabbed by RayRay’s cake
02.02.10 at 12:43 pm
Lil Lebowski Urban Achievers
The Reggie Bush cake doesn’t taste nearly as delicious as the Mario Williams cake.
02.02.10 at 12:42 pm
J.L. White
The Randy Moss cake is still a can of frosting and a box of cake mix. It doesn’t want to make the effort to be made.
02.02.10 at 12:42 pm
wrecking_ball
And you eat the Merriman cake when your lady tells you not to.
02.02.10 at 12:41 pm
sweetsassymolassy
Wow…The Chris Henry, McNair, Vick, and Chris Cooley ones have resulted in me trying…and failing to explain the humour to my wife when she wanted to know what was soo funny.
In order, “you see it’s funny, bc he died falling out of the back of the truck trying to assault his fiancee…ummm not funny to you, Okay… “You see it’s funny bc he was murdered by his crazy mistress” umm yeah, not good that he was cheating on his wife….ummm, “You see it’s funny bc he kills dogs…..okay “You see it’s funny bc he accidently put a picture of his penis on the web that wasn’t as big as other atheletes black penises on the……yeah, I saw the pics….what no that’s not gay……” Thanks guys
02.02.10 at 12:40 pm
wrecking_ball
The Plaxico Burress cake is just a bundt cake.
02.02.10 at 12:37 pm
Slothrop
The Favre cake tastes really great right up to the last bite. Which is cat poo.
02.02.10 at 12:35 pm
85
The Michael Vick cake is chocolate with chocolate chips, chocolate sauce, and chocolate icing.
Because chocolate kills dogs, see.
02.02.10 at 12:33 pm
Quentin LogJammin'
the visanthe schacone cake looks like a huge cock, amirite?
02.02.10 at 12:30 pm
NavyChief04
The Alex Smith cake didn’t turn out anything like the picture on the box.
02.02.10 at 12:26 pm
Old No.7
The Emmit Smith cake is made with only the finest inconvenients.
02.02.10 at 12:22 pm
AJ
The Chris Henry cake had an unfortunate accident in the back of the delivery truck.
02.02.10 at 12:21 pm
Jizzthrasher
The Sarah Palin cake has little foreign policy experience.
02.02.10 at 12:19 pm
Make Some NOSIE!
The Marmalard cake is full of piss and vinegar. What? Huh? What?
/cake floats off table
02.02.10 at 12:18 pm
make it snow
The Ricky Williams cake was baked for an entire year.
02.02.10 at 12:18 pm
Christ Johnson
The Vince Young cake has Zoloft in it.
02.02.10 at 12:17 pm
Make Some NOSIE!
@85 – nope – the Braylon Edwards cake gets dropped on the way to the table.
02.02.10 at 12:13 pm
Old No.7
The Steve McNair cake is scattered all over the sofa and floor.
02.02.10 at 12:03 pm
85
The Braylon Edwards cake is upside down on the floor.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/cinnamon-toast-crunch-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/lol-gonna-miss-you-nfl-150x150.jpg)
Want Hot, Nasty Phone Sex! 1-888-428-4036 Any act, all fetishes! 69c to 1.69 per minute! CALL NOW 1-888-428-4036
The LT cake insists it’s as good as ever, but falls apart as soon as you touch it with your fork.
/bakebakebakebakebakebakebakebakebake
@AP – and Irvin’s cake will STAB YOU IN THE FUCKING NECK WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS IF YOU TRY ANOTHER CAKE FIRST.
/veteran’d
The Jim Caldwell cake is flavorless, yet people will tell you it’s one of the best cakes around.
Matt Leinart’s cake was supposed to be really good when it came out of the oven, but after tasting it, everyone decided to finish off the Kurt Warner cake instead. Now that the Warner cake is gone, brah, it’s time to try the Leinart cake again.
/Warner’s cake molded by the hand of God
I think the cake just threw another incompletion.
Fuck you, Dirty Sanchez.
That shit looks like one of the Thunderbirds.
You’d really like to try the Nate Kaeding cake, but it keeps missing your mouth.
(This is some of the funniest shit I have ever read. Well fucking done, KSK commenters.)
Mort’s cake is the complete opposite of Schefter’s cake……and Schefter’s cake always hits the spot.
Garrard’s cake is not so much cake, as a smooth French Silk Pie…..but alas, there is no cake in the champagne room.
Strahan gets two cakes, and they are placed about 100 feet from each other. (Because he has a gap-tooth, see.)
…..and, that’s not powdered sugar on Irvin’s cake.
The NFL on Fox cake has two layers…
Joe Buck on the bottom and Troy on the top…
Next week, it flips…
The Wes WELKAHHH cake leads the kitchen in grit, as a result of Bernard Pollard scaring the cook into dropping it onto the dirty floor.
The Eric Mangini cake doesn’t reveal its ingredients until Thursdays.
The Favre cake was once a bestseller, gets discontinued, put back on the market for a limited time only, sales suck, gets discontinued again, brought back with a new purple flavor, sales hit the roof, now is quite disappointing again. In danger of discontinuation.
Tony Romo cakes aren’t available in January.
The chef of the Brady cake has spies in other kitchens.
Norv Turner’s tiny cake got blown up in the backfield by Ray Lewis’ cake…
Peyton’s cake is perfect, yet flavorless.
The Eli Manning cake is sick of being compared to the much more successful Peyton cake.
RAPE
that is all
I think you left out one more tag “Why yes, I did just tag that”
WWSM your hatred sustains me
Lovie Smith’s cake would like to challenge being baked
And the Rae Caruth cake murdered a pregnant pie he was seeing on the side. Now it’s in jail, tossing salads and getting fucked in the ass.
The Washington Redskins cake is made up of the most expensive ingredients money can buy, but still tastes like shit, because the guy who runs the kitchen is a motherfucking idiot.
The Vernon Gholston cake looks tastier than all of them, but it’s just icing on top of a pile of cardboard boxes.
The Cutler cakes are getting shoplifted as fast as he can cook them.
The Tom Brady cake is too self-absorbed to realize it tastes like shit.
The Larry Fitzgerald cake has a ritz cracker base and is topped with very sticky icing.
The Ochocinco cake is sprinkled with bacon dust and is shaped like a car boat.
Charles Haley’s cake squirts icing on other cakes. AND IS MASSIVE.
Lovie Smith’s cake . . . may actually be Lovie Smith.
The Ben’s cake tastes like windshield
The Mercury Morris cake sits on the counter hoping the other cakes will taste bad.
Steve Young and Troy Aikman’s cakes have no idea where they are
/it’s funny because they were concussed so much
The Tom Cable cake beats up the women who bake it . . . .
The Sanchez cake needs more moles.
J-Marcus cake, made of Quikrete and frosted with blubber….
FACK YOU, dudebro, you facking queeah! You don’t know anything about hahdship!
The Jerrah Jones cake is huge, overpriced and FUCKINCRAZYYEEHAW!!!
Hey ManginosStarvingChildren, FACK YOU.
The Percy Harvin ice cream cake gave me a terrible headache.
…crap – use the greater than, less than symbols…apparently it disregards those regardless of context.
yeah…that’s the stuff
The Peter King cake is a bit nutty, lacks substance, and free coffee it comes with is just frickin’ terrible!
@Necro – use instead of [ and ] and it should work.
The Detroit Lions drafted a cake, but it turned out to be chicken trattorio instead.
The Raiders drafted a cake because its baking time was the fastest.
The Houston Texans drafted a cake, and everyone said they picked the wrong one.
Shows self out for double entry.
/heh heh, double entry
The Hines Ward cake should be half chocolate and half yellow custard.
Shouldnt the Hines Ward cake be divided in half, with one half being chocolate and the other half being yellow custard on the inside?
Not pictured: the Rex Ryan cake, which promptly ate itself upon being removed from the oven.
The Plax cake should have a little nail file in it. . .
And wouldn’t Rex Ryan’s cake just eat itself?
Oh, and Rothlisburger: Roofies.
The Peyton Manning cake goes flat when you wave a fork at it, then blames the entree.
Excuse me while I fail at italics.
/shows self out
[i]The Ray Lewis cake comes with its own knife[/i]
Please. The Goth Rodgers cake [i]cuts itself[/i].
The Hines Wald cake has a cheap shot of bourbon in it.
The Chulu Ztulu cake takes 10 seconds to bake
“The Travis Henry Cake comes with a dozen cupcakes, but they all look different.”
Wow! Well-played. Disruptive laughter in the workplace ensued.
The Adrian Peterson cake will wind up on the ground 3-4 times.
The Kurt Warner cake is a communion wafer.
the LT cake falls apart before you can eat it.
The Travis Henry Cake comes with a dozen cupcakes, but they all look different.
Women don’t get humor.
/runs away from the women here
//still gets stabbed by RayRay’s cake
The Reggie Bush cake doesn’t taste nearly as delicious as the Mario Williams cake.
The Randy Moss cake is still a can of frosting and a box of cake mix. It doesn’t want to make the effort to be made.
And you eat the Merriman cake when your lady tells you not to.
Wow…The Chris Henry, McNair, Vick, and Chris Cooley ones have resulted in me trying…and failing to explain the humour to my wife when she wanted to know what was soo funny.
In order, “you see it’s funny, bc he died falling out of the back of the truck trying to assault his fiancee…ummm not funny to you, Okay… “You see it’s funny bc he was murdered by his crazy mistress” umm yeah, not good that he was cheating on his wife….ummm, “You see it’s funny bc he kills dogs…..okay “You see it’s funny bc he accidently put a picture of his penis on the web that wasn’t as big as other atheletes black penises on the……yeah, I saw the pics….what no that’s not gay……” Thanks guys
The Plaxico Burress cake is just a bundt cake.
The Favre cake tastes really great right up to the last bite. Which is cat poo.
The Michael Vick cake is chocolate with chocolate chips, chocolate sauce, and chocolate icing.
Because chocolate kills dogs, see.
the visanthe schacone cake looks like a huge cock, amirite?
The Alex Smith cake didn’t turn out anything like the picture on the box.
The Emmit Smith cake is made with only the finest inconvenients.
The Chris Henry cake had an unfortunate accident in the back of the delivery truck.
The Sarah Palin cake has little foreign policy experience.
The Marmalard cake is full of piss and vinegar. What? Huh? What?
/cake floats off table
The Ricky Williams cake was baked for an entire year.
The Vince Young cake has Zoloft in it.
@85 – nope – the Braylon Edwards cake gets dropped on the way to the table.
The Steve McNair cake is scattered all over the sofa and floor.
The Braylon Edwards cake is upside down on the floor.