$1,968.46 Well Spent, CBS
02.15.10Of all the celebrities who didn’t get the chance to blow me off in Miami, Andy Rooney is the one I’m saddest of all that I missed. Actually, I totally forgot that he goes to the Super Bowl every year. But luckily, before dotage claimed what’s left of his memory of the event, he was able to provide us with the gripping tale of his Super Bowl experience during last night’s 60 Minutes. Basically, he did what Conan fake-did to NBC, only with more entertaining senility. To recap:
This man is a cultural treasureforce. Yes, that’s the portmanteau I have coined in his honor. Andy Rooney: Treasureforce.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/selena-gomez-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/stickyrickyretirement-150x150.jpg)
Wow I had no idea that old fart was still around.
Actually I loved that piece. Everyone I know who’s ever been to a Super Bowl likes to claim it was the best experience of their lives. The married guys with children are especially adamant about this. Truth is unless you’re very well connected, you’re watching a game of ants playing, all the while telling the people all around you what a great time you’re having. It’s only when you talk to the people who had parties in their homes (with good decently priced beer and food) that you become like a Mormon missionary and demand people pay homage to your coolness, even though the facts get lost. It’s especially important because wifey needs to understand the expense.
Rooney’s just the guy who can see the king isn’t wearing any clothes. Curmudgeon? Sure, but did he report the truth? Most definitely.
Portmanteau.
Nice.
Andy Rooney’s not just a member of NAMBLA, he’s the President.
“I’m the one there with the hat” said Andy Rooney while there were 30.000 people in the frame.
Priceless.
You guys have Thomas Paine, rock n roll, bourbon, the Grand Canyon and Andy Rooney.
The man is a Treasureforce indeed.
Not exactly Tony Bourdain of Superbowls, but still a Treasureforce.
No Women’s Biathlon KSK LiveBlogkkake tonight? For shame.
I never understood the logic behind diarrhea. Why should I have to run to the toilet when if I have to take a regular run of the mill crap, I can walk? It does seem like the runs allow me to use less paper, however. And why are the perforations on toilet paper only about 6 inches apart? Who would ever use a 6 inch piece of tp?
The bowling alley I went to as a kid had these dispensers in the bathroom stalls with these little square napkins in them. And they were rough on your sphincter. I never liked crapping at the lanes for this reason.
@steal: I think the term would be colostomy bag. Andy Rooney is an old colostomy bag.
This guy is awful. Is there a specific word for an old douchebag? Like wrinkled douchebag, maybe?
I feel sorry for the producer who went with him.
Here’s the question — is a free ticket to the Super Bowl worth it, if you have to spend the entire time with Andy Rooney?
Does the photo depict Rooney’s visit to the Depends Adult Absorbent Undergarment Hall of Fame? Get a good sample pair to hold your sample, Andy!
Andy Rooney got Tom Hanks killed in Saving Private Ryan. Adam Goldberg says he’ll see you in hell fuckernutter.
Brilliant.
Did he actually say he wanted to watch the game on “tape” when he got back to the hotel? Anybody want to bet against next week’s piece being about how he can’t figure out how to work his betamax machine?
During the ‘incidentals’ portion of the clip, was anyone else hoping he’d say ‘ research at Thee Dollhouse?’
I don’t really get what all the fuss about “airplanes” is about. You can usually travel in a car to the same place, but if you crash in an airplane, you’ll die. Sometimes I think people use certain things just because they are new or are “exciting”. You won’t see me in an airplane that often, but sometimes only CBS makes it unavoidable. The pilots always seem so cocky, I don’t trust them. At least if I die in a car crash, I know it’ll be my fault.
I agree he’s been a joke for decades at this point, but he earned his rep while working at the Stars and Stripes during WWII, along with Bill Mauldin. Both braved some fairly deadly enemy fire in order to do their work accurately – they lived much like the GI’s did during the war, on the front lines.
Damn – Dude is like 90 something and still goes to work AND takes in the Super Bowl. Impressive. To most twenty somethings, working the remote control is work.
At the end there… “1 Super Bowl, $2,000.” Is that an Andy Rooney 2Girls1Cup reference?
Needs ‘get off my lawn’ tag
I’m sorry. I just couldn’t get past the fact that he somehow thinks wearing a hat is good for him. NERD ALERT!
I cannot believe CBS did not air the part where he and Tony Dungy talked about how disgusted they were by the number of Jews and homosexuals in Miami Beach.
His analysis of the game was still more insightful than Peter King’s.
Actually, I’d like to see how much it costs SI to send King places. Iced Kit-Kapuchinos aren’t free.
“Senior citizen in Florida confused by lack of clouds to yell at.”
I find it very disconcerting when old men and women refuse to stand up straight.
Nice use of bullet points PK…
What about the hookers? How much for the hookers????
RE: “before dotage claimed what’s left of his memory”
“BEFORE dotage claimed”? – hasn’t he been in his dotage for at least 15 years? Although I gotta say, he’s figured out a way to get paid to do what millions of cranky old fuckers have done for free for thousands of years, ie, bitch about things no one else cares about.
Yeah. On the last show when he did the expensive sketch bit, he said they were all fakes.
Whaaaa? What Conan did was fake?!?!
Look behind him. Are you sure that’s not a statue?
“You go to the beach when you’re in Florida.”
Or you can also cook meth. #getmoneygetpaid
Angry old men who don’t give a fuck anymore make my heart smile.
Treasureforce would also be a good word for rape.
What do ya wanna bet he has either a tattoo or a thong that says “Sexy Grandpa”?
“Andy Rooney’s been dead since 1987″
To be fair, so has most of CBS’ viewer demorgaphic.
Damn…is that his hair peeking out from under the cap…or his eyebrows?
And Ape, you can’t fool me. Andy Rooney’s been dead since 1987.