Players are pulling out of this week’s Pro Bowl left and right. Vince Young is now playing in the game. David freakin’ Garrard is now playing in the game. With all these alternates being named, it’s hard to keep track of just WHO will be on the NFC and AFC rosters once Sunday comes around. Well, fear not. Here now is a full list of everyone playing in the Pro Bowl:
-Charles Nelson Reilly
-Undetermined Haitian Refugee
-JaMarcus Russell (“I’m playing? But I was taking a nap.”)
-Coy and Vance Duke
-Package of Folger’s Crystals (No one will know they replaced Bryant McKinnie)
-Jake Gyllenhaal (tentative depending upon Tobey Maguire’s participation)
-Pack of Splenda
-Tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter
-Unnamed Castro brother
-Jay Leno (replacing Conan O’Brien, who replaced Jay Leno after Jay Leno initially dropped out)
-New turtle your father bought in a hurry when you were out
-Sean Payton (SCAB!!!!!)
-President John Tyler
-Can of New Coke
-Kirstie Alley (interior linewoman)
Yours in the comments.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.