CNR_meh

Players are pulling out of this week’s Pro Bowl left and right. Vince Young is now playing in the game. David freakin’ Garrard is now playing in the game. With all these alternates being named, it’s hard to keep track of just WHO will be on the NFC and AFC rosters once Sunday comes around. Well, fear not. Here now is a full list of everyone playing in the Pro Bowl:

-Tommy Maddox
-Charles Nelson Reilly
-Alexander Haig
-Pep Streebeck
-Ellen DeGeneres
-Christopher Mintz-Plasse
-Gaines Adams
-Undetermined Haitian Refugee
-Archie Manning
-Cooper Manning
-JaMarcus Russell (“I’m playing? But I was taking a nap.”)
-Footsteps Falco
-Ringo Starr
-Coy and Vance Duke
-Timothy Dalton
-Paul Westerberg
-Mick Shrimpton
-Jim Caldwell
-Package of Folger’s Crystals (No one will know they replaced Bryant McKinnie)
-Tom Berenger

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-Deborah Norville
-Jake Gyllenhaal (tentative depending upon Tobey Maguire’s participation)
-Pack of Splenda
-Tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter
-Unnamed Castro brother
-Jay Leno (replacing Conan O’Brien, who replaced Jay Leno after Jay Leno initially dropped out)
-New turtle your father bought in a hurry when you were out
-Connie Chung
-Sean Payton (SCAB!!!!!)
-Tim Teufel
-President John Tyler
-Goran Visnjic
-Can of New Coke
-Kirstie Alley (interior linewoman)
-Scott Brown

Yours in the comments.