pat_white_ike_taylor_cart

The NFL is a fraternity! A fraternity of men! Men that do quasi-homosexual things and then pelt outsiders with slurs of disdain! This is the concept of “fraternity” that passed through my string bean of a mind when I saw Steelers defensive back Ike Taylor mutter something to Dolphins quarterback Pat White, who was strapped to a cart being driven off the field at Land Shark Stadium Sunday. So what did Ike say to him? Here are a few good guesses:

“Welcome to the NFL.”

“I guess you won’t be going out with us after the game for nachos.”

“What did you think of Avatar? Was the message of environmentalism too heavy-handed?”

“Do these yellow pants make me look fat?”

“How close are we to Orlando?”

“Do you know Jimmy Buffet? Did he actually invent the dinner buffet?”

“Have you heard the new Lady Gaga single? Artistically, it has a lot of merit.”

“I’m not touching you…I’m not touching you…”

“They should let me drive the cart. After all, I’m the one that knocked yo’ ass out.”

“Someday we’re both gonna look back on this and laugh. Well, I will…”

“Good thing I started Jim Sorgi in fantasy this week instead of you.”

Yours in the comments.

Thanks to Brandon for the collab. Video via With Leather.