That’s It, Butters. YOU’RE GROUNDED!
01.17.10
Might be hearing something about that Week 16 Curtis Painter game this week.
I guess we need a guest post from our old buddy Stefan Fatsis to explain why every single kicker in the NFL sucks this year. Especially in the playoffs. Between the performances by Shayne Graham, Neil Rackers, Shaun Suisham and San Diego’s Scott Norwood, there hasn’t been a single halfway clutch kick in this postseason.
So smile one more time, Tony Romo. Big Nate here might have spared you from the Least award, if not yet another choke job.
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the sad thing is that the colts have TWO clutch kickers that everyone else had a chance to get
As a disgruntled Patriots fan, I’m thinking the joy of watching Pey Pey have a complete meltdown (I’m picturing something like Double J’s horns sprouting out of his head with steam coming out the ears) on the sideline will be far more entertaining than watching a division rival end its Cinderella run.
The shear joy of knowing that the Colts could have prevented this by not laying down Week 16 would raise the Schadenfraude level to near orgasmic heights.
@Outshined_One
someone added that to his Wikipedia page:
http://nextround.net/upcoming/thumbs/2010/01/18/Nate-Kaedings-Attempted-Suicide-According-To-Wikipedia-full.jpg
it’s been taken off though
The exchange between my dad and I today about the game:
Me: “So much for your theory that even if the Jets make the playoffs they won’t do anything.”
Dad: “I didn’t hear any voices to the contrary”
Me: “Hey, I told you they at least had a better chance of doing something by making the playoffs than if they didn’t!”
Dad: “Is that like saying you have a better chance of living if you breath???”
Me: “…Alright, you got me there.”
/Simmons’d
I’m from Brooklyn, Ape, and I’m clearly just fucking with you.
He does have a Butters thing going on, but he also looks like an aborted fetus too.
Ha. Yes. Because Jersey is a reputed wonderland to which all people wish to one day reside.
/you can smell that shithole from four states away
Leave it to hateful fuckwit Jersey scum to make it difficult to root for their team against the fat humps.
Only because no other franchise would be dumb enough to move to that piece of shit wasteland of a city.
Brien’s misses weren’t exactly chipshots on that piece of shit field either Apey.
At least they have their own field.
Brien’s misses weren’t exactly chipshots on that piece of shit field either Apey.
/can’t nobody break our stride
@Gross Rexman, “It’s funny ’cause he’s fat”
/it’s not really funny
calling Norwood a choker is fucking ridicules.
He’s the most obvious reference for kicker fail in big games. Settle the fuck down. Though I admit I should have said San Diego’s Doug Brien, if only to deflate some of the joy from the Jets faithful.
So, um, Monkey Business…how many times this postseason are you going to use the Battleship Manning/Bikini Atoll joke? It’s not funny in the first place, and I’m kind of sick of seeing it. Just wondering.
Battleship Manning is actually the name of a fat hump gay cruise liner.
Can we re-christen Battleship Manning as the U.S.S. Indianapolis? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Indianapolis_%28CA-35%29
Pey-pey plays for the humps…humps go on the field…Revis is on the field…our Revis.
Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies…
I believe that Rex’s enormous gravitational field alters the trajectory of the opposing team’s kicker?
Were all misses to Rex’s side of the field?
/can also shift the ocean tide
“San Diego’s Scott Norwood”
Yeah, because Super Bowl winning kicks from 47 yards are fucking chip-shots.
/Fuck the Bills but, Jesus Christ, calling Norwood a choker is fucking ridicules.
So what’s the over/under on a Kaeding Suicide in the coming days?
Best Butters moment ever = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUBZq3c4D3M
That’s not Butters. That’s Professor Chaos.
Flab Treesports: East Village, NYC
Hey, Darelle, I’m gonna call you General Revis, cause you play like you’ve got four arms out there!
I’ll show myself out now.
Also, for the record, battleships don’t bomb things.
Monkey Buisness,
The reason “Revis Island” kind of works is because more than one person says it. (For the record, as I Jets fan I think that the best cornerback in the NFL deserves a better nickname.) You can even buy a Revis Island tee shirt from the Jets website.
NOBODY, EXCEPT YOU, CALLS PEYTON MANNING “BATTLESHIT MANNING.”
Battleship Manning is the gayest gay that ever gayed.
Where do you call home, Chief?
You might as well strike Sanchez. Revis Island is about to get bombed by Battleship Manning. The Jets will look like Bikini Atoll after the Colts are done with them.
Football is great and all, but we need to make sure we keep it all in perspective. As we watch these games, there are people in Haiti who…ah, fuck it. The Ravens lost! Suck it, Baltimore! Port-au-prince looks like a golden city on a hill compared to the fuckghetto you call home.
Dear God Almighty.
So my choices for who wins the Super Bowl are now:
* Elisha’s brother (at which point he will be anointed King of Indiana, league commissioner, and doggone nifty ad pitchman)
* Drew Brees (at which point Brad Pitt may perform fellatio as he screams “I’m going to Disney World!”)
* Brett Favre (please spare us the two weeks of hype…. I’ll disconnect my DirecTV & internet service if this happens)
* Mark “Filthy” Sanchez (who will join an elite group of QB’s, despite being an average quarterback who happens to have a stout defense & running game – Trent Dilfer, anyone?).
Fuck.
My God, I’m facing the very real possibility of a BrittFarr-Jests Super Bowl.
Worst Super Bowl Ever?
Apparently not this week, Mail Del. At least not in SD.
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2010/jan/17/bn17chargers-early-gamer/
Maybe I’m being overly ESPN analyst, but when do teams stop choking and the Jets get credit for doing something to make these offenses look like bumbling retards?
that it butters? when were butter’s parents black?
I simply don’t see anyone stopping the Colts, besides maybe an unnaturally revved up Jets team. But even in week 16, the Colts rather easily took the lead when the starters were in, and beating the Jets in the playoffs will be pretty satisfying redemption for the fans, players, and front office. I think any fan ill will left over from laying down in the regular season would probably vanish, or at least be pushed into the background, because of the excitement of getting to the SB.
The Bolts choked as badly as any good team I’ve ever seen. What a horrid game by just about everyone in that offense.
@Ape: Laserface looks like he has one heckuva BM going on.
@280 Still love you even though I despise you. No homo.
/actually drunk
@289 Oh and since Long Island sends more tax dollars up to the useless appendix that we call upstate then we receive back from those fuck heads from Albany please you and all other upstaters (who I assume are Bills fans since I’ve never been there because honestly who gives a shit about you people) commit suicide so my taxes will go down.
I’m a sober Jets fan so…uh…I guess yeah, what he said
@289 Hey man I fucking hate you too. I hate the useless piece of shit city that you live in. I hate that piece of shit team whose eternal peak will be losing four Super Bowls in a row. I hate your stupid fucking commenter name. Whatever your politics are I probably hate those too. I hate your retarded fucking stadium and your fat retarded unemployed fans. I hate everything about you and will LOVE IT when the Bills move to Toronto. And I feel that you know that all this hate is spawned out of that real love you have for the teams you hate. But seriously fuck the Patriots because I just fucking hate those guys.
/drunk
//hope you understand
///fuck you if you don’t
Word is Kaeding attempted suicide tonight.
He tried to hang himself, but whiffed when he tried to kick the chair out from under him.
Better Title: K.A.E.D.I.N.G. – Kicks Accurately Except During Important NFL Games.
/recycled this joke from the 2005 Chargers chokejob against the Jets.
The Chargers are footballs’ Cubs.
/except I heard the Cubs actually won something once.
//all my teams suck
coach ryan’s favorite website is redtube…it’s where he gets his inspiration.
/Jay Feely is so clutch, he proved he can punt as well as kick in a playoff game, and not miss a beat.
@Ape: Love the 2010 Riversface
btw +1 to @2010 Draft: “Cutlerfucker, meet McClusterfucker”…that was a pussytubriffic post-game locker room speech by Mr. Ryan.
@Ape: Apparently abstinence makes the heart grow frownier
As opposed to a team that plays a home game in Canada?
The Bills play as many games in Canada as the Jets play in New York.
Nacho KILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLED the Marmalard squad.
/wants Rex Ryan to be the next coach of the chicago bears
The Jets should drop Feeley and resign Doug Brian, just so they could stay the Jets.
I’m going to cut myself tonight after sitting alone in the dark.
So, who should we Red Sox City fans be rooting for in the AFC title game? The Lakers? The Canadiens? HAVING TWO TEAMS WE HATE EQUALLY IS NAWT FAY-UH!!
/prepared to embrace Ape’s “Point and laugh at the loser, Nelson Muntz-style” credo
Drew, please tell us how Rex adopted a Haitian voodoo princess earthquake refugee, who is now placing nasty hexes on opposing placekickers.
We are living in interesting times my friends.
Nate Kaeding will fall asleep and wake up to his own scream
The Chargers are the Tila tequila of the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, always in the news but everyone knows it will end in tragedy. Oh and Merriman involved in both makes it extra sweet. like sprinkles on a cone.
I thought Kluwe made some great punts today.
Okay, now I’ve figured out the pattern. I’m only watching the fourth game next week.
It seems you assessment of Rex Ryan is very identical to the real thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iovxoCoPmxM&feature=player_embedded
Congrats
Butters= Kaeding
Cartman= Rivers
Stan & Kyle= Gates and Jackson
Ike= Sproles
Kenny= Tomlinson
Tweak= Merriman
Mr. Mackey= Norv Turner
Mr. Garrison= Marty Schottenheimer
How is it illogical to hate a team that we have to play twice a season? A team that doesn’t even play in the state that it “represents” and has a retarded fireman leading a crowd of NYC/LI/Joisey trash in cheers?
As opposed to a team that plays a home game in Canada?
Butters= Kaeding
Cartman= Marmalard
Stan & Kyle= Gates and Vincent Jackson
Kenny= Tomlinson
Ike= Sproles
Tweak= Merriman
mercifully another weekend of lousy football is over. hopefully, next week we will get something worth watching. is it just me or are the chargers a seriously boring team to watch. now that the world is embracing the jets as the “pussytubers”, ksk is going mainstream. coming up on nbc: peter king, mike florio and christmas ape.
I guess if you are going to get past Rivers, you need to a Mexican!
LT: “I’m gonna fuck you up for missing 3 kicks, know what I’m sayin’?”
Kaeding: “Yes! I believe that I know what you are saying!”
How is it illogical to hate a team that we have to play twice a season? A team that doesn’t even play in the state that it “represents” and has a retarded fireman leading a crowd of NYC/LI/Joisey trash in cheers?
by the way, kaeding makes about $1.5 million a year…FUCK i wish i was a kicker in the NFL
289 – That’s what you get for illogically hating a team that usually accompanies you at the bottom of the AFC East. As a Jet fan, the one AFC East team I don’t hate is the Bills because neither of us win anything, and I don’t get why it’s the opposite on your end. But who cares? PUSSYTUBING, STEAKS AND BLOWJOBS!
rex cut the victory speech short to eat some In-n-Out burgers before the flight back east.
I always imagined Rex Ryan would sound like Fred Flintstone. You’ve ruined my illusion, 2010 Draft: “Cutlerwhatever.” HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’, BARN?
+1 Chief Wahoo. My thoughts exactly.
Kind of ironic a Fat Hump will lead his team against a city of Fat Humps in the AFCCG. As previously mentioned it was shear joy watching Tomlinson pout like a bitch again this year. Too bad the game was in San Diego as there was no parka to hide in this time.
Curtis Painter won’t be walking thru that door next week….
Peyton’s coming and he’s bring Hell with him!
If you can find a Fat Hump pussy, you may tube it.
J-E-T-S!