Via NY Sports Space.

Today’s headliner for Sexy Friday is Alison Brie, because she’s fresh in my mind from posting this video over at Warming Glow (there’s a gallery over there, too) and because I really don’t mind watching this video a couple more times.

But Alison’s just the family-friendly lead-in. It’s damn cold outside, and as such I’m going to need to take a visual vacation to someplace warm. No, I’m not talking about vagina! Although now that you mention it, that would be nice.
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Here it is, everybody – the never before seen Focus on the Family ad airing during Super Bowl XLIV that features Tim Tebow decrying the evils of smishsmorshions. I can’t wait for Tostitos to counter during the Oscars with an ad that has Ricky Stanzi calling for a flat tax.

And, as a chaser for all that tasty fundamentalism, here’s the actual commercial submitted by the gay dating site ManCrunch.com that CBS is trying to quietly decline without pissing off the Human Rights Campaign too badly. Even if they’re better off without another representation of homosexuality as bizarre and disturbing, err, I mean, HURRR LOOGIT DEM QUEERS PAWIN’ AT ONE ANOTHER! UNNATURAL AND SICKENIN’ IS WHAT IT IS!

Nothing good ever happens after midnight in a Pontiac. Bengals linebacker Rey Maualuga was arrested in Covington, Kentucky after driving a Pontiac Sunfire into a parking meter and a couple of parked cars. Maualuga was charged with drunken driving and reckless driving. It’s the second time in 18 months that a former USC linebacker of Samoan heritage has been found driving drunk in a car unbecoming of a millionaire athlete. [Cincinnati.com via PFT]

The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are incredibly excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Miami! Up next, it’s musician and unofficial ambassador for New Orleans, Harry Connick Jr.:

As many of you know, I call New Orleans home. I’ve been all around this wide world many times and have yet to find a city that compares to her. New Orleans has a captivating charm that is impossible to communicate to those who have never been to our fair city, but instantly identifiable to those who have spent as little as a moment with us. A place steeped in culture and baptized in the arts. It is home to a unique blend of heritages: French, Creole, Cajun and many others—none of whom expect the Saints to get within 20 points of the mighty Indianapolis Colts. Read the rest of this entry »

We only had three submissions for the mailbag this week. Instead of putting out the Batsignal for more questions, I put some more time and effort into the responses, so this week’s edition isn’t all that much shorter than the average ‘bag. I think it’s a nice change of pace to go more in-depth. Disagree? Too bad!

Despite the banner image (via RoboShark), this week’s mailbag does not have the TRUTH ABOUT VENEREAL DISEASE. It does include, however, someone whose bazooka goes off too soon. And yeah, that’s a metaphor. If anyone out there has an actual bazooka, please write in. There aren’t enough explosions on this blog.

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New Orleans: It has “soul”, which is what white people call character, if character is infused with voodoo, jazz and dark skin. The Big Easy is rife with flaws, some merely depressing but most at least interesting. The city also has a compelling redemption story, which is linked inextricably to art forms, cuisine and other cultural rituals that either originated in or have come to define it. The locals also bond tightly over the Saints, a team whose rise would parallel their own, if only New Orleans got good as quickly as the Saints have.

Indianapolis: It has a good football team, which is celebrated by the local populace by appropriating another region’s signature icons and culture because Indianapolis lacks one of its own. Wave those Terrific Towels, everybody! You’re the 12th Man! A chain restaurant of your choice wants to host your Super Bowl party! They got sliders!

There may very well be less desirable places to live than Indianapolis, but you’d be hard pressed to find one that’s more bland or nondescript. For God’s sake, their governor is wagering that infernal shrimp cocktail AGAIN!

Meanwhile, the cities’ respective art museums (surprisingly, Indy’s isn’t only filled with TGI Friday’s wall decor) are engaged in an escalation of pretentious wagers during the early run-up to the championship. I think the New Orleans museum is just baiting Indy until they put up the world’s biggest ball of takeout menus.

The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are incredibly excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Miami! Up next, it’s Apple CEO Steve Jobs.

Read the rest of this entry »

The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are incredibly excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Miami! Up next, it’s former NBA player and Haiti nonsupporter Paul Shirley:

Dear New Orleans,

First of all, kudos on developing the poorest city in the United States. Your commitment to broken levees, rapey domed stadia, and white flight should be applauded.

As we prepare to pick your team in this difficult time, a polite request: If it’s possible, could you not rebuild your home city in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? Could you instead build yourselves space-age hovels that are resistant to both floods and earthquakes? And could those space-age hovels have marble countertops and multiple flat-panel TV screens, like the kind I saw at Jimmy Kimmel’s house when Simmons brought me over once? And could you have cars, like NORMAL people, instead of traveling around on your filthy, calloused feet? And could you, despite being born into poverty, pull yourself up by your bootstraps to become the 12th man on an NBA bench and then a novelty writer to likes his flaunt his affinity for the Silversun Pickups, as I have?

And could you stop being so poor? I mean really, it’s getting a bit disgusting. There are flies circling your children. And you all smell terribly. Do you not have running water? I thought the overflowing of Lake Pontchartrain provided you with GALLONS of the stuff. Was that not enough to convince you to clean the smell of dead fish off your bodies? And could you stop contracting airborne diseases in the wake of tragedies? Do you not have vaccines, or access to modern medicine? If I donate a cent to rebuilding things in the Ninth Ward that are still torn down, I want to make sure that it’s going to build something WAY awesomer that that smelly blues club you once called a habitat.

Why don’t you stop being a poor? Can’t you start making money, as I have? I make money, and then I can download Animal Collective songs. Have you heard them? See, that’s a problem. Could you rebuild your country so that you aren’t poor, and so that you like Animal Collective? M’kay? Thanks.

And could you get rich enough to write pedantic letters to the victims of natural disasters without witnessing the carnage firsthand? Okay? That would be nice.

And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while? I don’t like the idea of poor people breeding and then smelling up the place. I worked in the NBA, okay? We know how to use birth control properly. Stop having dirty poor sex with one another and MAKE something of yourselves. As I have! Look at me! I used to ride Phoenix’s bench. Now I’m a freelancer!

Why can’t you be like that?

Sincerely,

The Rest of the World

Colts 51, Handout Lovers 0

NOTE: Comments turned off. I warned you people about gay PoFlaWas.