Listen, I know the Eagles don’t play until tonight, but I have to say: the little black sweater tops they make their cheerleaders wear are the goddamn best useless accessories ever invented. They really are. I demand all women stock their closets with little sweater tops that bust open right at the collar and expose all the breasty goodness. It’s like watching the “Shoop” video all over again when I was a kid. So, so happy.
Anyway, here are some key players out for the day:
-Percy Harvin (GAHH!!!!)
-Devin Hester
-Mike Sims-Walker
-Matt Stafford
-Mark Clayton
-Donald Brown
-Brian Westbrook
-Matt Ryan (likely)
Here’s your slate of games. All TEN of them. Hoo boy.
New Orleans at Atlanta – If I hear WHO DAT one more time, the Saints officially become irritating.
Detroit at Baltimore
Green Bay at Chicago
Seattle at Houston
Denver at Houston
Miami at Jacksonville – One of these teams may make the playoffs. That can’t be right.
Buffalo at KC
Cincinnati at Minnesota
Caroline at New England
Jets and Tampa Bay
Here we go, everyone. WHEE!
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I WISH Denver had played Houston.
Fuck.
Detroit is so bad that Baltimore can’t even run out the clock without scoring.
SKÅL VIKINGS! Ragnar’s a major dickhead in real life and Favre’s Mojo is bound to run out at precisely the wrong time, but anyway, SKÅL VIKINGS.
16-ONE-AND DONE, HERE WE COME!
21 for Marshall. FUCK YOU T.O.
Dallas. Mother. Fucking. Clark.
Why did I have to play against him the week where he scores 3 TDs. FUCK
Maybe there’s a misfit quarterback who can be traded to the Island of Misfit Players.
Marshall gets the record. Too bad TO.
Leave it to Cutler to throw the backbreaking pickerception that spells doom for his team. Exactly what do people see in this guy again? All I hear from the media is how he’s the next big thing or some shit.
Wow, a Tarvaris Jackson sighting.
Oh Todd Haley, your assholishness never gets old
Packers win. Thank Cutler for being overrated. But seriously, fuck Mason Crosby.
9-4. Feels good, man.
Troy Smith scored for the Ravens. Turns out he’s still alive. Who knew?
jt o’sullivan’s in and i want to fistfight half the bengals. didn’t think that would happen today…
Denver 2-minute drill… Marshall is good for at least another 11 receptions.
Here come the haymakers.
fuck yes jt of the o’sullivan clan is in. i love those posts.
Good to see the Jets putting the unecessary roughness drills they practice to good use.
Hmm. Two minutes to go. Bears with no timeouts and the ball deep in their own end. I wonder what’s going to happen?
/I hate my team
Amen on Palmer. He’s the weak link on that team. They used to let him throw down the field, now he’s either afraid to or he can’t. They can run it, they play good defense (even today they’ve been decent), they have guys who can catch the ball. Palmer stinks, and he’s going to kill them in the playoffs.
Can’t believe I benched McGhee against Detroit in favor of Knowshon Moreno…FUCK!!!
Carson Palmer might be the most overrated player in the NFL this year. How many years did people apologize for him not having fully recovered from the injury in ’05 or being surrounded by a shitty team? This year, he’s healthy, his line is fine, he has the sixth best running game in the NFL and a corps of solid receivers. Not to mention a very good defense backing him up. Yet he’s the 18th rated passer in the league coming into today. He’s lucky not to have multiple picks in this game.
Palmer has gone from being the Bengals best player to a liability.
Amazing coaching ignorance…probably had Ron Turner in his ear, too.
Wow, Lovie is fucking stupid. He calls a timeout. Then is challenging a play he’ll most likely lose. Amazing.
And now he challenges it anyway.
I hate lovie
I hate lovie
I hate lovie
I hate lovie
I hate lovie
And THEN challenges!!!
Thanks to those Verizon commercials, Luke Wilson can finally buy all the donuts he can stomach
Lovie Smith takes a timeout after a somewhat questionable call. WHY? Why not just challenge it? You aren’t going to lose anything, you’d actually get more time…Dipshit. FireLovieSmith
I’m sending Brandon Marshall a fruit basket. Would that be coming on too strong? Because I love that man.
Bears need receivers…oh yeah, we have to sit out the 1st two picks in next year’s draft. Nice.
So the Saints fake fg when up by 3 and fail. I think Hunter Smith would have been better option to throw the ball than Mark Brunell.
I would laugh but I’m up against a guy who has Ray Rice and Brandon Marshall in the first round of the playoffs. I have Hines Ward and Mike Sims Walker…
/sobs quietly
20 catches. Seriously, triple cover him. They throw to him every play. This is pathetic.
If the Saints don’t have Drew Brees, Payton is out by now. Continues to make the dumbest fucking calls.
Payton goes for tge fake FG. WTF???!
I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH, CROSBY!
Isn’t 20 the record for catches in a game? I think TO did it in San Fran. If so, he can kiss that shit goodbye.
Indy might want to cover Brandon Marshall.
Brandon Marshall has 17 catches with 12 minutes left. Awesomeness, thy name is PPR.
Did you guys hear? Brady is playing with a fractured skull and has to play with a helmet underneath his helmet. Just shows how tough he is. What a warrior.
Apropos of nothing, the sit/stand debate took up about 3 hours of bar time with my friends last night.
@Giggity: Because it’s 41-3. And if you’ve been counting on Rice all year you can’t be surprised McGahee is fucking you now.
Thank god for multiple windows…just watched Katja Kassin take a major facial…and the Cutler interception.
Why the fuck is Ray Rice got getting any touches in the 2nd half? Fuck McGahee.
Apologies to all those who rode Aaron Rodgers to the playoffs, and are now preparing for defeat.
yep, playing against ryan grant in my first round playoff game. motherfucker. at least i have zulu kthulu yet to play.
Bills/Chiefs are obviously playing for the higher draft pick. Neither team really wants to win this game, but they just won’t come out and blow it
And Cutler throws another interception.
Fire Lovie Smith and Ron Turner. This is getting really tough to watch.
Honest question: If you’re the Jaguars, and your only remotely capable receiver (Sims-Walker) is injured to the point of having 1 catch for 6 yards so far, how in the holy fuck do only get MJD 12 touches through three quarters?
No rubber muscle implants for his Batsuit… Pure. West.
Watching Bears/Packers is like pushing a square stool.
I’m getting faceraped by every goddamn long touchdown today. Grant, Mason, now Jamaal fucking Charles. What in the hell is this shit?
Someone mentioned him earlier but Sweet Jebus on rollerblades Billy Cundiff has like nine points!
“Baby On Board, something something Burt Ward!”
I forgot about Lee Merriweather. She was a good one.
I lied to Burt Ward once and came in his mouth.
baileys face thinks it’s tyree’s head
Anyone else get the feeling Adam West fucked everything that moved on the Batman set, including Burt Ward and Burgess Meredith?
Oh hells yes. Who could resist the batusi?
Yes, Purple Jesus has 110 combined Yds. and a TD.
Yes Irish but that minx Bert Ward was just ASKING for it.
AD for 5, AD for 2, AD for 1 and the score. THAT’S WHAT THIS (/MY FANTASY) TEAM NEEDS, CHILDRESS!
In an impressive feat the Panthers get called for illegal motion and illegal formation on the same play
Anyone else get the feeling Adam West fucked everything that moved on the Batman set, including Burt Ward and Burgess Meredith?
Who’s sluttiest Cristina Aguilera or the daughter of the local car dealer doing the crappy local commercials? Locally, in your and my local, local.
Lee Meriweather had a place of honor in my high school spank bank.
Reggie Bush scores. Reggie Bush fumbles. Reggie Bush scores again.
Such is his way.
Let’s not forget Lee Merriweather, not only did Batman, but who knows what transpired with Barnaby Jones
Aaron Rodgers says eat your heart out, Garo Yepremian.
Eartha Kitt did a lot of things she’s not proud of
Halftime Entertainment:
http://nintendo8.com/game/321/tecmo_super_bowl/
Tecmo Super Bowl.
Eartha Kitt blew Fred Durst?!?
Bills v Chiefs is a study in mopishness
And I highly doubt Julie Newmar would touch Fred Durst, let alone blow him
Ape just nominated Jean Grey for sluttiest cat. He’s got the “inside track” on that scoop
how was that Bengal incomplete pass ruled a fucking fumble? These ref’s are putting on clinic today, if only Chuckie was commentating on the game and could refer to them as “this guy” a few times
and totally agree about dierdorf needing to be put down
Who dey gonna gift wrap points at the end of the half?
Brian Leonard, please. That’s why you only throw to white guys with grit.