DO YOU HEAR THAT MUSEUMS OF INDIANAPOLIS? YOU WILL HAVE TO SURVIVE WITHOUT UNCLE MONEYBAGS’ DOLLAR!!!

i see what you did there

Museum “field”? Term paper? I’m going to go out on a limb and say 40ish year-old woman studying creative writing at IUPUI, mostly because nobody born after 1975 recognizes museums as a “field”, or refers to any written document as a “term paper”. Thanks for taking a break from debating the true literary merit of Cormac McCarthy’s commentary on the direction of modern society with whatever animal keeps you company in your studio apartment on the corner of 10th and Tibbs to troll KSK long enough to pick up on stylistic devices that would make you seem like a relevant, and quite humorous, expert on all things Indianapolis. I’m glad I took this small break from my “slightly more relevant” studies to read this pretty sub-par KSK post (I have a thing for the Hines Ward posts, personally) and stumble upon the rantings of someone that doesn’t even assert a meaningful contribution, economic or otherwise, to the community against which she slams. But, regional self-loathers always add a little spice to the mundane soup (see what i did there? got all metaphorical on ya) that is the “I have a friend from (whatever city this post makes fun of) and he’s the biggest (redneck, douchebag, w/e), so it’s pretty fair to assume everyone there is like that,” post.

I remember your kind from back in the pre-Peyton days. Although not your exact kind, as we didn’t have any intellectuals around to write term papers, and whatnot. They would comment on how once Reggie Miller left, and the Pacers died, the city would revert “back to a truckstop”. But it didn’t. Imagine that. Sure Indianapolis isn’t Chicago, the east coast or the west coast; the only places that really are distinguishable from St. Louis, Nashville, Cincinnati, etc. But it also isn’t, Zanesville, Ohio or Altoona, Pennsylvania. Real slices of heaven that would just shock the stylish black-framed glasses of a cultural aficionado such as yourself. Yet somehow, like the aforementioned mid-sized cities, Indy maintains, with or in spite of the success of sports teams. But being that you can’t afford to travel on the students loans you had to pull for your immense 10k yearly tuition, and therefore have never experienced such places, I forgive you.

Last, being an IU alum that understands the true sports dynamic (see:basketball) of the state in which I no longer have the pleasure to call home, I’ll ask that you forgive the people of central Indiana that have only followed the rest of the country in mindlessly embracing the NFL over all other sports. I’m also not going to bother pointing out the similar rampant rise in fandom that followed Mark Cuban’s turnaround of what was then one of the other worst sports franchises of the 90s…oh wait. Similarly, i’ll refrain from pointing out the extent to which the Hoosier nation neither wants, nor needs, the support of “bitter Dallas refugees”. Go watch the Pac10/Big12 hardwood series and complain about how, although you miss kevin durant in the orange and white, it’s okay because he’s just a short steer ride away from the cultural mecca that is the Lone Star State, to the one place that clearly deserves a sports franchise, Oklahoma City. And lastly, your commentary on Fishers is easily applicable to any other suburbia from Virginia to northern California, but pat yourself on the back for the astute observation of the people that keep your “field” alive (unless there’s been a resurgent interest in the museum “field” by the blue collar folks of Indiana that I’m unaware of). Get a fucking grip lady.

/had colts season tickets in the early 90′s
/is glad the Colts have peyton so articles like this will be written and people like Cat will feel relevant
/isn’t putting a dollar in the donations box the next time he goes to a museum

We went from being made up of 20,000 real Colts fans, 5,000 who won tickets on the radio or at Pacer games, and 25,000 opposing team fans to a good number of morbidly obese necks that look to have followed Peyton up from Tennessee and a bunch of hillbilllies that live north of the city on plowed under corn fields.

I go to a game every season and am stunned to see parking lots filled with mini vans that have their unknown high school band soaped on the windows and BMW’s with counties I’ve never heard of listed on their license plates.

Of course, I write this on a laptop in Chicago where I’ve been listening to even fatter people exclaim that the Bears are “1 or 2 players away from a Super Bowl.” At least the bulk of Colts fans are nay-saying jerks that are waiting for the bottom to fall out after having years of Rohn Stark (the most man-pretty punter ever) being our only Pro Bowler.

P.S. Before there were Peyton and Dallas, all Indy housewives loved Rohn Stark.

/I’m guessing