welker milk

Kupel’s Bakery in Brookline is looking to create a bagel sandwich named for Wes Welker, and they’ve reached out to their Twitter followers for suggestions. Our submission follows, feel free to include yours in the comments.

Start with a plain white bagel made with triple-bleached flour. Coat one side of the sliced bagel with copious amounts of Miracle Whip for edginess, then apply a thin layer of grain mustard to the opposite side for enhanced grit. Top the bagel with a few slices of deceptively lean ham and a slice of American cheese. And dear god, make sure it’s American cheese, lest some Bostonian accuse you of being in cahoots with that shifty Garçon character.

Come to think of it, even the whitest bagel is still going to be a bit too Edelman-y to bear Welker’s name. Let’s switch it out for a couple of slices of Wonder Bread and call it a day.

Thanks to reader Peter for the tip.