Snowocalypse-related delays have evened out the game distribution over the afternoon, with six each in the 1 and 4 p.m. slates. Who doesn’t like football symmetry? The problem being, any halfway decent games have vacated for the later time slot.

Kansas City at Cleveland — The Chiefs and Browns are nos. 1 and 2 in the league in drops. Even with Dwayne Bowe returning from suspension, expect a winning quarterback with final stat line like 7/22 for 89 yards and an interception.

Miami at Tennessee — “‘We’re an underrated group [of receivers],’ Greg Camarillo said. ‘If you underrate us, if you think as a defender we’re not very good, then we’ll take advantage of that.’ In other words, we’re so bad we’re counting on you to go to sleep!

New England at Buffalo — Bizarre as it may be, a game in Buffalo is not one pushed back by snow. Leads me to believe they might have some experience with it up that way. Won’t stop Randy Moss from showing up at 4 p.m. anyway.

Atlanta at New York Jets — The Falcons were eliminated from the playoffs last night because of Dallas’ victory. A shame, because here comes NACHO to turn the ball over six times. Matt Ryan and Michael Turner, as well, are starting again after missing time with late-season injuries that no doubt cast a few fantasy owners into despair.

Houston at St. Louis — Rams officials are saying the team has not been effected by the symptoms of swine flu. Super! Now they’ll only lose by 20.

Arizona at Detroit — Fitty and Megatron will play, to which I must say DAMN YOU, MADDEN CURSE! LARRY FITZGERALD WAS ON THAT COVER TOO! YOU MAKE HIM SUFFER THE WAY TROY POLAMALU HAD BEEN MADE TO SUFFER! NO PLAYING FAVORITES! THIS IS HORSESHIT! Ahem. Also, I think the Cardinals clinch their division or something with a victory.