Ben Roethlisberger: HINES!
HINES!
ME NOT SAYING HI TO YOU TODAY BECAUSE YOU MADE MUD OF THE BEN’S NAME! ME AFRAID TO SHOW FACE BECAUSE ME KNOW PEOPLE THINK “THERE GO BIG MUD! HINES SAY SO!” YOU GO ON TV AND TELL SPORTS MIDGET THAT THE BEN IS NAMBY PAMBY MAN FOR MISSING GAME AGAINST DRUGTOWN?
THE BEN HAS PLAYED WITH OWIES IN EVERY SPOT YOU CAN HAVE OWIES!
HEAD OWIES
KNEE OWIES
ARM OWIES
CHEST OWIES
RIBWICH OWIES
OTHER ARM OWIES
AND UHHHHHHHHHHHH
AND SOME OTHER OWIES
BUT NOW YOU SAID BAD THINGS AND MADE THE BEN LOOK WEAK! HOW SUPPOSED TO BE FEARLESS LEADER WHEN TEAMMATES THINK THE BEN HIDING LIKE WHEN YOU GET RED SCREEN IN CALL OF DUTY AND HAVE TO HIDE FOR 5 SECONDS UNTIL YOUR BULLET WOUNDS HEAL LIKE MAGIC! DRUGTOWN FANS EVEN SAY THE BEN IS A DRAMA QUEEN!
[Strikes heroic pose]
THE BENNNNN IS NOOOOOOO DRAAAAMMMMMAAAAAA QUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN
ME THINK MAYBE ME NEED NEW RECEIVER FRIEND. MIKE WALLACE GOTS THE COOL MOHAWK! MAYBE HE WANT TO PAL AROUND AND SHARE CHOCO TACO!
Hines Ward: I so solly.
I am knowing that I owe foll you big aporogy.
Was so flustlated when I heal on Satulday that you no be praying against Bartimole. Big game come the next day and all sudden we have Kolderr Stewalt Juniol as qualtelback. Foll many yeals had to pray with Kolderr. Not want go back to that.
So not bloadcaster know Hines upset and ask for intelview. He work sympathies because he is not tarr rike me.
Get me to say thing I leglet now. I was no mean them! So much flustlation because I hate the Latbilds! So fun when get to knock Ed Leed on glound. He tly to tacker me Sunday and I push him 10 yald. I win wheer ballow lace with Ed Leed!
I am hope you accept aporogy and we move on to pray Laidels. Save season 100 pelcent!
Ben Roethlisberger: UHHHHHHH SORRY THE BEN BLACKED OUT FOR A SECOND
Hines Ward: Pussy.
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You know, The Ben’s dialogue sort of reminds me of Toki from season 1 of Metalocalypse.
Say what you will about Kordell Stewart but has anyone ever had a cooler pre-snap sounding voice?
It was like Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman fucked and a goddamn interception machine came out.
Damn right this was racist, you insensitive asshole!
You make White people sound stupid!
/sips chardonnay, listens to Vampire Weekend
Dixon had a least 3 good picks in him. He got off light.
I think that was a different game. He suffered a concussion the week before the Raiders game in ’06.
It didn’t help when Ben stated he had a toe fracture after a loss to the Raiders in ’06 and not fracture was reported to the NFL nor the training staff had no clue. Ben got the reputation as a diva for bellyaching about numerous owies and playing the hero after.
After reading this site for so long, I’m now continually surprised when I watch video of Hines and he doesn’t speak in a comically offensive, chop-sockey accent.
The last time anybody blacked out on KSK, they got molested.
Didnt spell barrow right (wheel barrow race)…. but I gotcha..
And yeah Kordell Stewart Junior had me laughin, except dixon was actually halfway decent. They should have given him a lot more runs. Classic bruce Arians, the only QB run goes for a TD, and he abandons it the rest of the way.
Save season 100 pelcent!
/Average Joe salary-man waiter approves.
Best part of the yotube video: “I push you, Leed” as its title.
Why hasn’t Hines called out Polamalu yet? Dennis Dixon started a game a game in college with a torn ACL. Man the fuck up already, you Samoan asshole.
He was all right for the most part, but he missed some throws he should have had and threw a back-breaking interception at the end. That’s textbook Kordell football. Granted, it was his first NFL start, which came on the road against a good team in primetime, I’m sure he’d be a better QB than Slash in not much time.
Kordell Stewart Jr. is a bit much. Dixon was pretty good.
No “rittre bit lacist” tag?
I can’t hear Mike Wallace’s name without imagining the old guy from sixty minutes playing football.
They just wanted to see the super mixed race child they could produce.
so you’re saying Tiger Woods slept with Hines Ward?
Watch out for the Brack Whore, Hines.
Wait, so Obama is going to be at the game?
Christ Almighty, with Pittsburgh’s offensive line being a virtual seive, Ben’s going to be out of the league in five years.
THEN BEN HAVE MOAR TIME TO PLAY CALL OF DUTY. PEW PEW PEW OWWIE IN MY HEADSPOT.
I love that the conversation ends with the only understandable word from either of these two.
“Ben Roethlisberger, the quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers, gave $250,000 to the Pittsburgh police and fire departments for canine armor.”
http://money.cnn.com/2009/11/24/smallbusiness/k9_storm.fsb/index.htm?cnn=yes
I am hope you accept aporogy and we move on to pray Laidels.
Watch out for the Brack Whore, Hines.
HARF HARF HARF
Great post Ape