12.16.09
KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: Crazy legs, cold feet.
NSFW language & (shocker) gay slurs.
Item first. The Philadelphia Mensa chapter posted this video of them taunting Brandon Jacobs before the first Iggles-Giants game this season. Jacobs can’t help but remind this brain trust of Philly’s earlier loss to the Raiders. I don’t understand why Jacobs thinks this is an insult. There’s no shame it in a narrow defeat at the hands of the mighty S&B. [ OTR ]
Item two. Atlanta Falcons’ defensive tackle Justin Jonathan Babineaux apologized for his recent arrest after he was pulled over with a shitton of weed in his car. “I want to apologize to Mr. Blank, coach Smith and Thomas Dimitroff and also the fans, most importantly,” said the fifth year veteran out of Iowa. “I’m embarrassed to be standing here in front of you guys, but as you guys are all aware, it’s an ongoing legal matter and I can’t talk about it or answer any ques—Hey man, did you ever notice what a weird name I have… Baaaa-buh-no. Buh-buh-Babineaux! Babineauxbabineauxbabineaux. Sheeeeeit man, I need to get some Pop Tarts. Where the hell did I put my keys?”
Item three: Zulu Cthulhu is telling people that Ted Ginn, Jr. was a no-show for an impromptu match race in the streets of Miami earlier this year. Mike Berardino at SunSentinel.com reports that Chris Johnson says he encountered Ginn and Joey Porter at a party where he issued a challenge:
“It was real,” Johnson said Wednesday during a conference call with South Florida reporters. “We were at a pool party and [Ginn] was talking. I said, ‘Let’s go.’ We were going to race down Ocean Drive there in Miami.”
Johnson, wearing tennis shoes, said he headed down to the street, ready to race, a crowd no doubt gathering for this historic event between two track stars turned NFL ballers. Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco was there. So was Titans quarterback Vince Young. It was really going to happen, except for one little problem.
“[Ginn] never showed up,” Johnson said.
Maybe the stakes weren’t high enough to get Ginn (pictured at left) to show up. Johnson should have pulled a Danny Zuko and challenged Ginn to race for pinks.
When confronted about his absence, Ginn was defensive. “Nah man, I was there. I was just movin’ so fast they couldn’t see me. Like the Flash an’ shit. Watch this, Imma run across this room and back. PEEE-OOW! Back already. It prolly looked like I didn’t move at all. That’s how fast this enGINNe runs, son.” [ thx Lt. Winslow ]
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/06/zibswag-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/05/mushrooms-150x150.jpg)
December 16th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
“[Ginn] never showed up,” Johnson said.
Wouldn’t be the first time he didn’t show up. OH SNAP.
Seriously though, would you want to race Zulu Cthulhu? Probably would run laps around you twice, then stiff-arm the shit out of you for good measure.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
The Philly fans probably should have said “Hey Brandon” a few more times…just to make sure they got his attention.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
i thought brandon jacobs was gonna call the fans a bunch of “stupid fags”, not the other way around… this is no surprise.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
So every Iggles fan has a cracking, high pitched voice? Bitches.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
The irony of that video’s title cannot be overstated.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
I have a feeling that a couple of those quotes were paraphrased, and may not have been the speaker’s exact words.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Nothing better than a pro athlete dumb or insecure enough to engage in fan taunting.
/Ahmad Bradshaw is the far better back
December 16th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
bock bock bock
Has anyone in this blog ever actually heard a chicken?
COO COO CA CHAH
December 16th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
I’m not sure those were actually white Eagles fans. There wasn’t a single one of them yelling that Kevin Kolb should be starting.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Well played, GOB.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Jonathan Babineaux was so high he couldn’t even get his first name right. Unless this dude is actually a DT. http://www.myspace.com/justinbabineaux
And I love Eagles fans telling Jacobs that his mother is still on probation. (You see, all Philly mothers are either crackwhores or in jail.)
December 16th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Fuck Philadelphia
December 16th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
George, actually.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Unqp3I-wBN0
GOB is more like, “CAWCACAW! CAWCACAW!”
December 16th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
/gratuitous Arrested Development comments
December 16th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Jonathan Babineaux was so high he couldn’t even get his first name right.
whoopsie doodle!
December 16th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Better than Dallas mothers, all of whom are awaiting arraignment for stabbing one of her daughter’s middle school cheerleading rivals.
December 16th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Fuck this reminds me of having to deal with Eagles fans. Those squeakboxes mouth off like that at away games as well. You would think rushing out to a 21 point lead on them would shut their fans up, but all you hear at that point is “You’re going to choke in the 4th quarter like you always do!
December 16th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I want to say here and now that Ginn should’ve showed up. I encourage him to race people in the streets in hopes that a car will run him over.
We’d be 10-3, and both Dahkie Starm Tahn and Land of Shit wouldn’t be undefeated, if that useless motherfucker could catch even a subpar chunk of the balls thrown his way.
December 16th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
the fuck is a Brandon Jenkins?
December 16th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
God damn Ted Ginn. Useless on the field, useless out of it.
Then again, I can understand the reasoning. Zulu would’ve eaten him alive when Ginn arrived at the finish line. That is one talented MF.
December 16th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Most black men are treated this way in Philly.
December 16th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Most scouts say Ted Ginn Jr. is more suited for balloon races and possibly scavenger hunts.
December 16th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
“Most black men are treated this way in Philly.”
Not true. In suburban Philly, maybe. In Philly, you’d get your ass stabbed doing that.
December 16th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
That’s not Ted Ginn. That’s a chi…oh, I get it. He’s a chicken because he didn’t show up, right? Or is it because he doesn’t have hands, can’t fly and gets eaten alive by gators?
December 16th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Not true. In suburban Philly, maybe. In Philly, you’d get your ass stabbed doing that.
You leave the Villanova basketball team out of this.
December 16th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
In Philadelphia, it’s somehow more shameful to lose to the 08 NFC champs than to a team that hasn’t compiled a winning record since 2002.
December 16th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
the fuck is a Brandon Jenkins?
He used to play hoops for my Cardinals. I’m brain-dead as fuckall today.
December 16th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Dont hate.
December 16th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Typical Philadelphia mooks letting me down. There’s got to be a TON better ways to taunt Brandon Jacobs than shouting his name over and over.
But that’s the best you get from members of the Eagles-superfan satellite branch of the Philly Mensa chapter.
/eats a Tony Luke’s cheesesteak in one bite.
December 16th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
@ dudebro: It would be more shameful in Philly to lose to the Giants _or_ Cowboys than to lose to a team comprised entirely of Care Bears, retarded school-girls, and the “freshly-mauled-by-a-tiger Roy” of Siegfried and Roy fame.
December 17th, 2009 at 12:05 am
“a team comprised entirely of Care Bears, retarded school-girls, and the “freshly-mauled-by-a-tiger Roy” of Siegfried and Roy fame.”
That team could beat the Raiders by 38.
December 17th, 2009 at 12:46 am
You gotta love how the Philly fans’ comeback for “Oakland Raiders” is “Arizona Cardinals!” Yeah, you’re right guys. Losing to the Raiders is completely on the same level as losing to the Super Bowl runner up from last year. You know, the ones that are currently leading their division. I know it’s still The Buzzsaw, but c’mon.
December 17th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Brandon should have just asked them about all of Philly’s Super Bowl wins….
“Phuck” Philly
December 17th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Zulu Cthulhu aka “Fake Hair Jenkins” was last seen hijacking a French oil tanker off the Somali coast.
December 17th, 2009 at 9:35 am
Vinny Cerrato has “resigned” from his job. Please adjust your holiday celebrations accordingly.
December 17th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Great news: Vinny Cerrato resigns
Not so great news: Chris Henry on life support
So much to discuss today!