This video has made the rounds for some time, and it was a lot more awesome when Vikings defensive end Jared Allen was getting five sacks a game, even if he did that perplexing “dance” after each one. But hopefully it’ll serve as a clarion call for the team that has two of its last three and faces stiff competition for that first-round bye in the NFC playoffs. Oh, and Favre almost got benched. But we can all take solace in the fact that Jared Allen does in fact get his hair cut by trained (if not farsighted) professionals. Whether or not he actually bathes is an entirely different matter.
via With Leather.
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Just one question though. Have you made writing this blog as your profession or do you do this in your spare time?
I’ve been reading a few posts and really and enjoy your writing. I’m just starting up my own blog and only hope that I can write as well and give the reader so much insight.
My chest hair is shaped like a heart. It’s pretty tight
“He went to Jared.”
“He went to Jared!”
“Mommy? Why does your hand smell like potty?”
“Ummm… Daddy went to Jared…”
“Jared. Buy jewelry for Christmas, or she’ll think you hate her.”
Oh, and Jared Allen is a complete twat. The number 69? an unironic mullet? Using the phrase “Business in the front, party in the back” to describe said mullet? Does this asshole think it’s the late 80′s?
They weren’t actually arguing about Favre staying in or not, they just wanted to know which one was bringing the six pack of Mikes over to Chmura’s house.
@Natrome: Jared and I party with multiple R’s.
@Giggity: You’re saying you don’t want to meet Jared Allen in the middle of a dark country road on a creepy, moonless night?
You know, if we ignore tards like Jared Allen, Chad Johnson, and Chris Cooley, they might just shut up and play ball.
/It’ll never happen
I wish I could share JasonT’s optimism, but I’m expecting the usual Vikings bed-shitting, combined with Favre’s annual late-season collapse. Sigh. Looks like it’s again suicide for me!
Good bless you, Jared Allen, you hillbilly lunatic!
I know its fun to jump to conclusions, but there was more wrong in that game than Favre. They are 11-3. He’ll get a week off, and play in the dome. They’ll be fine.
89. That’s why he going home.
/Smith’d
Jarred Allen will kill a muthafucka with a spearr while in a trree!
at J.L. White -
He’s more like Kenny Powers.
Allen should tell Farve to retire with four r’s.
@RBP: You have one too many R’s in your party.
Jared Allen is Mac from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” if Mac was actually buff and could kick someone’s ass.
@RBP
I see it more as saying “I slept in my car” in the Front, and “I’m an axe murderer” on the Back.
BTW, Jared Allen’s haircut is ALL business in the front. But you look at that back and that says only one thing: PARRRTYYY!!!!
Watch how the entire Monday/Tuesday discussion centers around Land Baron vs Creepy-Looking Coach and completely ignores that Purple Jesus only got 12 carries all game long.
Because you know, if you have one of the two All-Universe RBs in the NFL, you really should be taking the ball out of his hands and putting them in the hands of December INT Machine…I mean, the Kid Having Fun Out There ™.
In a just world, Jared Allen would play for Coach Ryan.
Childress forgot to consult the “Gunslinger Rules” and was quickly shown his place in the Vikings hierarchy.
On an unrelated note, Big Ben carried me to a fantasy Super Bowl!
/knows no one cares.
Allen is going to star in his own series of homemade videos called “Project Badass” after he retires.
Bringing your A-game as usual, rob. If ever there was a commenter deserving of top-notch writing, it’s you.
Favre almost got benched until he informed the coach that he would not get benched.
eh.
you bitch at us on friday for subpar commenting and then offer this shit as a monday morning jumpstart? no wonder you get shit for comments.
its drew time. only he can save this.
Would love to see the Eagles make it deep into the playoffs…
so they can get everyone’s hopes up before failing miserably once again!
/steeler fan in Fail-adelphia
//can suggest new cast members for ‘jersey shore’
brett favre + rest of minnesota vikings = divisional knockout by the eagles.
Gotta love that Childress tried to bench the Gunslinger but it just didn’t take or something.
Childress should have insisted Farve take the field. The Land Baron would’ve decided to sit it out.
Gotta love that Childress tried to bench the Gunslinger but it just didn’t take or something. They should really give ol’ Creepstache a job title that would allow him to just make those decisions unilaterally. Like Head Boss or Coach in Charge. Something like that.
Also, Jared Allen, you’re a cock and Moutheyes Peppers showed you and your mullet up last night.
@Bunkie: I’m sure Chmura thinks it was no big loss. He’d say she was well past her prime anyway.
No matter how awesome this man sounds I still hate his guts for what he did to Shaub last year.
Anybody else just waiting around to see if Chmura has anything to say about Brittany Murphy?
Why can’t Allen accidentally take out Favre during practice and save all of us the trouble of listening to the cock slobbering of Favre in the playoffs?
Drew, get on that bounty to convince Allen to do it.
Childress tried to bench Favre? I guess “like a kid out there” means he also throws a fucking fit until he gets his way. Coach Brad needs to learn that “pop the belt” trick. Sends the kids running for the hills every time…
What did he expect? He went to the Culinary Academy.