Your Sunday in Review: No One Cares About the World Series, Especially Dan Levy
We abandoned the the Friday Five based on your overwhelming desire to see scantily clad women you could easily find on a Google image search, but because we are loath to abandon established ideas, here are five things we enjoyed about the Sunday that was. There would be more, but the NFL slunk away from an easy victory in the ratings over Game 4 over the World Series because, who knows? We’re too busy trying to figure out if Miles “Baraka” Austin is actually a white guy.
1. Gus Johnson saying Chris Johnson ran “like he was being chased by the cops” after his 52-yard TD scamper against the Jags in the 3rd quarter.
2. Ravens fans carping about the refs even when they’re winning. Not that complaining about the officiating isn’t a constant state of being for Ravens fans.
3. Brittfar’s coquettish wink at the Brittfar Cam because Brittfar must be accepting of all the Brittfar love that the media must lavish reflexively on Brittfar
4. Joe Flacco’s triple salchow into a sack. The Steelers judge gives it a 2.0.
5. St. Louis trickeration to defeat the Detroit Lions in order to avoid becoming the next Detroit Lions.
Tags: bert flacco, brittfar, recap, xmas ape
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November 1st, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Sunday Five > Ten Things I Think I Think
This could be a great wrap-up for Sunday action across league.
/dick joke
November 1st, 2009 at 9:55 pm
In order to get not so feel godawful about fuckface Favre jumping around like a fucking gimp, I give you all the greatest gif of all time. NSFW obviously. http://jermo.net/boobs/valery_frustration_fixed.gif . You’re welcome.
November 1st, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Congrats to the Titans for finally taking the hint.
Nobody messes with da towel, ya jack-holes!
November 1st, 2009 at 10:29 pm
There is nothing – repeat, nothing – more insufferable than the fact that we live in the goddamn 21st century and some people still legitimately believe in motherfucking curses. GoSlash27, perhaps you are joking, but there are legions of mouthbreathing inbred fuckwits (mainly on ProFootballTalk) who cling to this “Curse of the Towel” bullshit like it’s a fucking tit.
“Post hoc, ergo propter hoc” is but one of the many fallacies you’re committing, you superstitious morons. Please, die in a fire.
November 1st, 2009 at 10:30 pm
“Post hoc, ergo propter hoc” Sounds like Richard Simmons gargling a bag full of cock. Muaaahahah!!!
November 1st, 2009 at 11:26 pm
I cannot believe that you have not yet mentioned Brian F’n Russell’s hilarious whiff on Chris Johnson’s 89 yard TD. What is that useless goof in the league for if not to be mocked by you guys?
November 1st, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Hey I hear that Brian Russell is shitty.
November 1st, 2009 at 11:57 pm
Congrats, anonymous Lions defender, you not only failed to recognize that the kicker isn’t supposed to be running sideways with ball in hand, you also got caught completely out of position by a special teams float, then was stiff-armed and thrown aside like a rag doll by a fourth-string tight end.
November 2nd, 2009 at 12:09 am
The damned Lions disgust me. Sure, they went 0-16 last year, but they were regularly… I don’t know, *trying*. St. Louis was in a fine, fine position to give us a whole new level of pathetic putrid failure, a whole new metric by which to evaluate shameful lack of effort, and DETROIT WENT AND FUCKED IT UP.
November 2nd, 2009 at 12:40 am
Captain Caveman hasn’t been able to post about the Brian Russell Fail because he was rushed to the hospital.
Watching Russell get run over like that while playing for a team other than the Hawks caused CC to jizz so hard that his left testicle went flying across the room.
November 2nd, 2009 at 12:47 am
You would have thought the Justin Forsett ownage of Russell a few weeks ago would have accomplished that.
November 2nd, 2009 at 1:09 am
6. 51 second mark
November 2nd, 2009 at 4:48 am
I wondered why the hell Stafford being picked off resulted in a safety for the Lions. That is probably even worse than the Orlovsky safety last year.
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:30 am
Ravens should bitch about some of those calls. Broncos get more bullshit saves from the refs. And I don’t even like the ravens.
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:52 am
What saves would those be? I watched that game and other than a missed PI call in the first half that caused Derrick Mason to throw a hissy fit and spike his helmet on the sideline, I didn’t see any bad calls that went against Baltimore.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:08 am
Tenny didnt suck because they stomped some towel. They sucked because they benched VY in favor of “The Drunk”.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:41 am
Jizzthrasher: I believe you were looking for this site?
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:51 am
wait you actually thought the Lions would let the Rams show us up? hells no…no one is ever allowed to break our record for futility in a single year. We will define suck for ever and ever. Sorry Rams…you’re not allowed to suck as much as we did last year…we made sure of that shit yesterday! OWNED!
/fetal position :/
/dick joke
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:00 am
When two equal but opposing forces of suck meet, the resulting suckitude vortex cannot be witnessed directly or the viewer instantly disintegrates. At least that’s what I thought.
That’s sort of why I didn’t watch the Lions vs Rams.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:48 am
All is right in Jerry World for now. Let’s just hope Wade doesn’t find a way to fuck it up this week in Philly. Put down the Heath bar fattalicious and design a blitz package to KILLLLLLLLLLLLL McNabb next week.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:53 am
skim172, the Lions defender who nearly makes the tackle came from the other side of the field. Containment on the right, chasing the kicker etc. wasn’t his job.
November 2nd, 2009 at 3:31 pm
What, no video of Brett Favre’s snot rocket?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbk2BXEWEWg
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Josh Brown had more touchdown passes in that Rams game than Marc Bulger.
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:34 pm
King Laserface was impressed by the amount of float on that kicker’s pass.