Zoe noes! Jessica Simpson was spotted wearing a Cowboys hoodie again at some point this week. That might be considered a jinx in some instances (if such thing actually existed) but it will take far more than superstition to counter the staggering collective forces of fail that emanate from the Redskins and their fans who are now finally permitted to wave bitchy signs.
The Colts travel to their former homebase in Bawlmer to have the Band That Refused to Die march at them menacingly.
Cleveland and Detroit meet to remind folks that there are fine alternatives to watching sports on a clear crisp fall day.
Seattle! Minnesota! Ufford! Drew! Poor Ufford, glorying the poor play of Brian Russell in Jacksonville would be a nice sop for a Seahawks loss. No longer!
The Chiefs have already scored against the Steelers on a kick return. But Jeff Reed didn’t even get to whiff on a tackle!
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So Jessica is still wearing the Cowboys swag? Wasn’t she dating some Redskins back-up after she was Romo-dumped?
Tony musta slammed that good.
Nice try on the “effectively eliminated from the playoffs” thing, bub. You know, considering that they are 5-5 and the teams currently in the Wild Card spots are 6-4.
Well, don’t want to sound like a dick or nothin’, but, ah… it says on your chart that you’re fucked up. Uh… you talk like a fag, and your shit’s all retarded. What I’d do, is just like… like… you know, like, you know what I mean, like…
Monkey business should be limited to ten words.
A hearty +1 to ape, I think they top them.
Monkey Business is every bit as annoying as any Pats fan in 2007.
So, highlight of my day: watching Baltimore get all cheap-shotty against the Colts, having them do that stupid fucking thing where they put “INDY” on the scoreboard instead of “COLTS”, watching the Ravens get stuffed THREE TIMES on the 18 inch line, watching Flacco throw the backbreaking interception because he apparently didn’t see Gary Brackett RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF RAY RICE on a play that should have been called back because the refs missed a false start by the Ravens offense, followed by a sick Reggie Wayne catch the Ravens stupidly challenge, giving Peyton Manning two minutes and three timeouts, and then watching Ed Reed attempt a forward lateral, only for it to be called a fumble which the Colts recover to win.
Basically, watching the Ravens get humiliated by failing in all the ways a good football team should succeed in, and be effectively eliminated from the playoffs by the Colts. Scaudenfreude’s a bitch, motherfuckers.
10-0!
Gleat Googry Moogry!
Ok so now Belichick is taking stupid challenges. Good Lord.
Aaaand Cleveland manages to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. At least my day isn’t completely ruined.
You don’t even need 2 functioning arms to beat the Browns
THE BROWNS ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE
I kind of feel bad, I hate to see fat men weep and I’m sure Mangini will be doing so shortly.
WTF is going on in the DET-CLE game?
The Browns aren’t going to sit there and be outsucked by a bunch of cowardly lions.
And Detroit wins. Wow. Time to burn Cleveland to the ground at long last.
New Rule: Infinity Ward may only release a new Call of Duty game in the off-season. BEN DISTRACTED.
About 50 people just went fucking nuts over the Lions win.
Ape, when you’re done with that gun…pass it this way.
/browns are on the clock.
Thank you Mangini, Stafford’s back after your time-out.
WTF is going on in the DET-CLE game?
They called interference on a hail mary?! Only Cleveland can fail like this!
Bob, gun.
That was awesome. Thanks Ike!
Gun please.
Also, Dear Double J:
Thank you for your generous gift of a 1st round pick for Roy Williams. How’s that working out for ya?
/Pettigrew looks half-way decent
Was that a Chris Chambers sighting?
Kansas City won?
Checks sky for flying pigs.
Looks like Ben is playing PSP
Oh man, I suddenly look like a savant for picking up Chris Chambers a few weeks ago.
BEN SLEEPY!
Dr. House isn’t gonna be happy with Foreman after this debacle
Hmmm, the Lions are like the NFL version of HPV, sometimes they show up, they never really go away and they suck.
Holy shit, Chris Chambers is still alive?
now let’s all watch the browns give this game away.
Ike Taylor just handed the Steelers an incredibly embarrassing loss. What an asshole.
Hey Ben.. Bubby Brister called and he even thinks this game is hard to watch. Christ watching Browns/Lions looks like the game of the week compared to this garbage
Oh fucking shocker Ike Taylor drops another interception.
I’ll take Richard Dawson over Tarvaris Jackson and Seneca Wallace.
Damn, nice run by Jamal Charles.
CBS is about to leave the Schadenfreude City/Pittsburgh game in overtime to show us the inevitably not as interesting Jets game. Another network fail.
Bruce Arians quite literally couldn’t have called a worse 3rd down play there.
The Charlie Batch experience!
I’ll take Tarvaris Jackson over Seneca Wallace.
I’ll take Phil Dawson over those two.
/almost serious
Wow great shifty eyes shot of Ben on the bench, looking forward to that gif.
oh thank god Washington lost. Not a pretty game by any means.
@Pigs Don’t get me started on Ted Ginn. Two — TWO — would-be game-winning touchdowns that fucker dropped against Indy.
Looks like HEAD OWIES are back.
OW. BEN DON’T FEEL GOOD.
Stafford gets picked throwing into triple coverage, all is right with the world now.
/Stops checking sky for horsemen
//Switches to Giants/Falcons in OT
Chaz Batch warming up.
How many games have the Colts had gift wrapped for them this year?
I stand corrected.
Saints 10-0. Whoo!!!!
And Ed Reed just gave the game away!
Looks like Reed was down when he pitched that.
Time to go kill myself. FUCK YOU DALLAS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
A forward lateral, no less.
Oh, Redskins. So close.
I know Matty’s from Boston but all the dark skinned people aren’t the same guy, throw to your alledged #1 wide out damn you.
Ed Reed throws lateral to Indy defender. Perfect.
There’s the Ed Reed lateral…..right to a Colts player.
Holy catch, Tony Gonzalez!
Memo to Matty Ice: Please throw a TD to Roddy White and another one to him in OT. Thank you.
Troy Aikman is such a cunt.
Why must Romo always give me heart attacks by refusing to pass to Austin until 4th quarter. looking at a receiver with 0 points in the 4th is terrifying
Brady Queen has thrown 4 TD’s against the Lions. Fuck 0-16, THAT is rock bottom, Lions fans.
Bruce Arians is too tired from being a fucking idiot?
Harbaugh calls timeout. Decides he wants to challenge the spot. Loses the challenge. Baltiless thus burns their last two timeouts.
SKÅL VIKINGS!
I’m enjoying these wins before Double Agent Favre fucks us over in the play-offs.
@gailthesnail: Pew-Pew too tired from playing Modern Warfare 2?
If the skins don’t score I’m going to stab myself in the vajay.
Can someone explain the KC pitt game
Referee: Baltimore is out of challenges, out of timeouts and completely fucked.
Bush is out today Ocho. And the Lions are working on finding a way to lose this. Normalcy is being restored to the universe.
@Ocho: he was out of the game. Didn’t travel to Tampa.
Not that he was needed for this game.
He was ruled out before kickoff