You Know What I Hate More Than Losing a Close Game in Baltimore? THIS GUY
Hypocycloids shaved into the back of your head AND yellow camo? NO! We’re supposed to make fun of THEM for that! It almost ruins the effect of Ravens fans becoming towel spinning tards for a night.
My little adventure in being a pretend journalist for another day was a pointless exercise in self-denial and disturbing amounts of sobriety. The press box may offer a nice view of the field, Internet access and free deli sandwiches for fat writers, BUT IT IS NO LIFE FOR ME! I require screaming, booze, hateful epithets and copious taunting. Sure, it recalled to me my stodgy days in “J-SCHOOL” but that’s before I broke through to the “NU-SKOOL” of blogging. So in the future, I will continue enjoying my football far from the glitterati of the media, where I can make my dick jokes and drink my gutter liquor without concern of violating some cockamamie idea of professionalism. Also, I passed Bob Costas in the hallway without Falcon Punching him. I’ll understand if you think me a sell out.
But I did get to ask Mike Tomlin a stupid question and see Hines cry in the locker room. Totes worth it!
Tags: baltimore ravens, pittsburgh steelers, xmas ape, yellow journalism means interviewing Hines
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November 30th, 2009 at 3:24 am
Actually that was a good question, it was one I wondered myself a few times during the game. Running was part of his game at Oregon, if you are going to draft a kid like that you have to find a way to use his strengths when you play him. I just assumed they wanted to do everything they could to avoid another QB injury.
November 30th, 2009 at 3:28 am
Also, Tomlin deserves some props for the fairly detailed response he gave you.
November 30th, 2009 at 3:33 am
Ape, is that you in the James Harrison jersey, emerging from the shadows of a highway overpass?
November 30th, 2009 at 5:20 am
Hypocycloids or disturbing homage to Ben’s head injuries.
November 30th, 2009 at 7:17 am
Cheap-shot altist was feering emtionarr. :(
November 30th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Somebody stated yesterday that anybody who thought the Steelers had a serious shot at this game was “huffing ether”.
My response:
Iiiiiiii like it!
November 30th, 2009 at 7:42 am
Overall, I thought Avon Barksdale did a great job filling in for Big Ben
November 30th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Hypocycloids? Were they a spin-off of the Herculoids?
November 30th, 2009 at 8:46 am
Did you ask him to diagnose whether what Ben had was or was not lupus?
/old jokes is the bestest jokes
November 30th, 2009 at 9:39 am
It’s okay Ape, every team has “those guys”.
We have this guy:
http://www.therookiesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/colts-fan.jpg
Personally, I’d rather have camo and bad haircuts.
November 30th, 2009 at 9:46 am
@ Monkey: It looks like the pro-shop dumpster threw up on him.
November 30th, 2009 at 9:46 am
If getting shitfaced in the press box and falcon-punching Bob Costas is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
November 30th, 2009 at 9:47 am
What did you do to Hines to make him cry?
November 30th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Can’t believe I’m the first to identify that Steelers fan as FEARSOME
November 30th, 2009 at 10:27 am
So I was watching the game last night in an Irish bar with my brother, he wearing a Lambert jersey and me in a Bettis jersey. This dude walks in with a Ray Lewis jersey on, with that walk like, “look at me ma! I’m a man now!” naturally he comes over to brother and I and is making snarky comments. I’m more focused on the game but I do pause long enough to inform him Ravens suck, Ray Ray should be in jail, and kindly go fuck off. He quasi-apologizes, saying that even though he’s wearing a Ravens jersey, he’s really a Patriots fan, but he’s got a hard on for Ray Lewis, hence that jersey. I’m like, “uhh brain freeze moment wtf” and then he drops the bomb: he’s moving to Pittsburgh in 2 weeks, and he really likes the Steelers too.
I know there are bandwagon fans, but what is this combinatorial shit? I mean…this isn’t like a woman saying, “I like the bengals, and the cardinals, and the texans, because they have such cool uniforms.” To me, this is more like a Eagles fan wearing an Eli Manning jersey and rooting for Dallas too.
He ended up pissing off the waitress and then the bartender, and got the hint and left before he was summarily tossed. Which is good, because I might have beat him to death after that game. Bruce Arians needs to be fired and fired RIGHT NOW
November 30th, 2009 at 11:24 am
You had the chance to ask him about taking inmates out of their cells to race them against each other, and you passed it up? Bullshit.
November 30th, 2009 at 11:25 am
As somebody who fled from journalism because he’s too much of a pussy to ask any tough questions, this video was great… I’ve never seen press conference footage from a first-person perspective, seeing everybody looking right at you while you were asking the question brought back that “HOLY SHIT DON’T SAY ANYTHING STUPID OR THEY’LL ALL KNOW YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT” feeling I’d always get in the pit of my stomach.
Not that your question was particularly tough, but I don’t think it was at all stupid. And you elicited a decent–and quotable–response from him, and isn’t that really all you’re going for in that context? All in all, well done, even if footage that reminds me of my own inadequacies is nowhere near as much fun as video of Costas crumpling to a heap in a press box would be.
November 30th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Avon Barksdale! Exactly! I was trying to figure that out all night while watching the game! Thanks.
Ape, I appreciate you showing the clip with your “bad” question (I didn’t think it was bad, btw)…I agree with the other posters comments regarding his detailed response.
BTW, I’m a Pittsburgh hater, but I gotta respect Tomlin. That guy is smart, dedicated and “stand up.” He takes responsibility for things that aren’t even his fault. I guess I really just hate Pittsburgh fans…and Hines Ward.
November 30th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
That’s a good answer from Tomlin. You did a good job not saying ‘Good answer! Good answer!’ like they do on the Feud.
November 30th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Should be enough there for a decent Coors Light spot.
November 30th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
The perfect time for you to yell “YOU BETTA ASK SOMEBODAAAAAAAAAAY!” and you blew it
November 30th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
You tooootally should have asked if he was taggin’ any of that fine tail on ‘House’.
November 30th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
MOAR PICS OF CHICK IN BAKGROUND!!!
/f tha’ Stillers
//down with Cutlerfscker and the Forte axis of FAIL
November 30th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
that chick’s body language looks like she’s considering whether it would be worse to rip his shorts off or just put up with it.
November 30th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Ape, Tomlin made you his bitch with that answer – even though it was a good question, it was an even better answer.
November 30th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Sounds like the opening to all 70’s standup routines.
“They’re professionals too.”
“HOW PROFESSIONAL ARE THEY?”
“They’re so professional, they see our naked bookleg and raise!”