The truth is no defense to a jailhouse shanking
“A padlock attached to a belt? Damn, and here I am using a Moët bottle like a chump.” –Antonio Cromartie
Authorities say NFL trash talk led to the murder of a Florida prison inmate. Willie Smith reportedly taunted fellow inmate Vincent Lee, repeatedly shouting “Dolphins suck!” The next morning, Lee exacted his revenge:
Lee entered Smith’s cell with a padlock attached to a black belt and hit Smith in the head. Lee had a one-and-a-half foot shiv in his waistband, though it’s not clear if he used the weapon. Lee was able to clean up much of the blood and flushed a sheet down a toilet before being detained by guards. Smith died eight days later.
Yikes. At least he tidied up after himself. That’s got to be worth some good-behavior credit towards an early release.
Also, he flushed a whole sheet? What kind of plumbing do they have in that prison? I’m a law abiding citizen and whenever I take so much as a second lap around the Chinese buffet, I know I’m going to have to get the plunger out later on. Meanwhile this jailbird can flush a 1982 VW Vanagon with impunity. Where’s the justice in that?
But I digress…
The murder took place on October 16, a few days after Miami’s exciting victory over the Jets on Monday Night Football. Under those circumstances it seems like Lee could have been a little more self-possessed towards his tormentor. You know, just a simple retort of “Scoreboard, bitch” or, if necessary, go upside the head once and be done with it. But I suppose that if patience and circumspection had been Lee’s strong suits, he never would’ve been in the calabozo to begin with.
[ Miami New Times via digg ]
Tags: miami dolphins, Pooty Tang didn't need no padlock, Prison, you can make sangria in the terlet
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November 24th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Sa da tay.
November 24th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Things that will get you killed in prison:
1) Snitchin
2) Being a child rapist
3) Shouting “Dolphins suck!”
4) Helping Paul Crewe get uniforms
November 24th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Lee’s nickname? You guessed it: Stabby.
Also, a one-and-a-half foot shiv is practically a sword. That’s a big fucking shiv.
November 24th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
that guy looks like chad johnson! and they are both black.
November 24th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
all black people look alike, and to be fair to Cromartie, the guy he blasted was a haji.
/killing two racist statements with one comment.
//somebody get me a medal.
///not really racist.
November 24th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Of course, it’s shank or be shanked.
November 24th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
DOLPHINS SUCK! DOLPHINS SUCK! DOLPHINS SUCK!
November 24th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Upon closer inspection of the 18-inch shiv, it was a penis.
November 24th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Vincent Lee is actually Joey Porter.
November 24th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
@ Lofa
-1
/web-commenting equivalent to a prison shanking?
November 24th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
it takes you until the second lap at the chinese buffet to get the shits? your a better man than I then
November 24th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
How do you flush a sheet?
How do you know that you CAN flush a sheet?
How can I get one of those toilets?
November 24th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Those prison crappers are super-duper heavy duty, because the cons are always flushing and shoving stuff down them to get them to flood, etc. They are all like Ferguson’s.
/watches all of those prison documentaries on Discovery
//once went as Al Bundy for halloween in Polk High uni
///is a total fucking loser
November 24th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
If he had yelled, “Dolphins suck, Patriots rule!” he would have been hit with a padlock-belt, then pinned face-down and penetrated.
November 24th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
In his defense, the dolphins DO kinda suck.
November 24th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
They should send that guy to prison or something.
November 24th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
“I can’t go to prison! They pee in a glass and throw it at you in there!”
November 24th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
@ Will Leitch’s Unfinished Novel: Did anyone try to stick a shiv in you for scoring 6 TDs in one game?
November 24th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
I’m Ray Lewis and I approve of this retaliation.
/no, it wasn’t over a parking spot
November 24th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
What they had there, was a failure to communicate.
November 24th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Maurice “Snoopy” Miller: Well, the man don’t just have to die, Foley. I mean, he could accidentally hurt himself falling down on something real hard, you know? Like a shiv, or my dick?
November 24th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Suck it, Baltimore.
/is chad henne gonna hafta shank a bitch?!
//no, can’t say it with a straight face
///lets self out
November 24th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
He missed the best Miss Sally episode ever.
November 24th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
@derek
You forgot to add….
////I have a couple of black friends.
November 25th, 2009 at 10:26 am
so wait you’re saying an INMATE…in FLORIDA makes poor decisions? Well I never!
November 25th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Well, no shit — dude had a black belt.