
“A padlock attached to a belt? Damn, and here I am using a Moët bottle like a chump.” –Antonio Cromartie
Authorities say NFL trash talk led to the murder of a Florida prison inmate. Willie Smith reportedly taunted fellow inmate Vincent Lee, repeatedly shouting “Dolphins suck!” The next morning, Lee exacted his revenge:
Lee entered Smith’s cell with a padlock attached to a black belt and hit Smith in the head. Lee had a one-and-a-half foot shiv in his waistband, though it’s not clear if he used the weapon. Lee was able to clean up much of the blood and flushed a sheet down a toilet before being detained by guards. Smith died eight days later.
Yikes. At least he tidied up after himself. That’s got to be worth some good-behavior credit towards an early release.
Also, he flushed a whole sheet? What kind of plumbing do they have in that prison? I’m a law abiding citizen and whenever I take so much as a second lap around the Chinese buffet, I know I’m going to have to get the plunger out later on. Meanwhile this jailbird can flush a 1982 VW Vanagon with impunity. Where’s the justice in that?
But I digress…
The murder took place on October 16, a few days after Miami’s exciting victory over the Jets on Monday Night Football. Under those circumstances it seems like Lee could have been a little more self-possessed towards his tormentor. You know, just a simple retort of “Scoreboard, bitch” or, if necessary, go upside the head once and be done with it. But I suppose that if patience and circumspection had been Lee’s strong suits, he never would’ve been in the calabozo to begin with.
[ Miami New Times via digg ]


Well, no shit — dude had a black belt.
so wait you’re saying an INMATE…in FLORIDA makes poor decisions? Well I never!
@derek
You forgot to add….
////I have a couple of black friends.
He missed the best Miss Sally episode ever.
Suck it, Baltimore.
/is chad henne gonna hafta shank a bitch?!
//no, can’t say it with a straight face
///lets self out
Maurice “Snoopy” Miller: Well, the man don’t just have to die, Foley. I mean, he could accidentally hurt himself falling down on something real hard, you know? Like a shiv, or my dick?
What they had there, was a failure to communicate.
I’m Ray Lewis and I approve of this retaliation.
/no, it wasn’t over a parking spot
@ Will Leitch’s Unfinished Novel: Did anyone try to stick a shiv in you for scoring 6 TDs in one game?
“I can’t go to prison! They pee in a glass and throw it at you in there!”
They should send that guy to prison or something.
In his defense, the dolphins DO kinda suck.
If he had yelled, “Dolphins suck, Patriots rule!” he would have been hit with a padlock-belt, then pinned face-down and penetrated.
Those prison crappers are super-duper heavy duty, because the cons are always flushing and shoving stuff down them to get them to flood, etc. They are all like Ferguson’s.
/watches all of those prison documentaries on Discovery
//once went as Al Bundy for halloween in Polk High uni
///is a total fucking loser
How do you flush a sheet?
How do you know that you CAN flush a sheet?
How can I get one of those toilets?
it takes you until the second lap at the chinese buffet to get the shits? your a better man than I then
@ Lofa
-1
/web-commenting equivalent to a prison shanking?
Vincent Lee is actually Joey Porter.
Upon closer inspection of the 18-inch shiv, it was a penis.
DOLPHINS SUCK! DOLPHINS SUCK! DOLPHINS SUCK!
Of course, it’s shank or be shanked.
all black people look alike, and to be fair to Cromartie, the guy he blasted was a haji.
/killing two racist statements with one comment.
//somebody get me a medal.
///not really racist.
that guy looks like chad johnson! and they are both black.
Lee’s nickname? You guessed it: Stabby.
Also, a one-and-a-half foot shiv is practically a sword. That’s a big fucking shiv.
Things that will get you killed in prison:
1) Snitchin
2) Being a child rapist
3) Shouting “Dolphins suck!”
4) Helping Paul Crewe get uniforms
Sa da tay.