‘I’m Cris Collinsworth, And I’m Looking For Cocaine’
One of the better surprises of the 2009 season has been the quiet, ninja-like efficiency of Cris Collinsworth in the color commentator’s chair for NBC’s Sunday Night Football. Everyone was aware of the large ass-groove that Cris was assigned to fill with the departure of John Madden, and Collinsworth has clearly made that ass groove his own. He’s brought insight, humor, and criticism to each Sunday Night game that he has covered, and we’re better for it.
First of all, HOW FUCKING HARD is it to find someone like Cris that, you know, JUST TALKS ABOUT FOOTBALL, and doesn’t try to give players idiotic nicknames, doesn’t make up football terms like “eye discipline,” and doesn’t act like he’s holding a hose at a kegger. I’m looking at you, Tirico. Cris has been great, great to the point that 11 percent of America is now gay for him (Source: Drew).
So now that everything is hunky dory in the Sunday Night booth, obviously it’s only a matter of time before something fucks it up. Don’t forget that Collinsworth was a former Bengal, and is obviously prone to the lascivious nature native to that club. So on behalf of a football-loving nation, do NOT sell any cocaine to Cris Collinsworth. I know the economy is bad right now, but think of America. Think of Dan Dierdorf. Think of Dan Fouts. Think of Dennis Cocksucking Miller. That is all.
Tags: open threads
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November 22nd, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Bill Belichick speaks like Robert Downey Jr.
You heard it here first.
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Ginger alert.
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:35 pm
The picture accompanying the link at the bottom of the page – entitled “Is This Tim Tebow’s Girlfriend?” – reminds me that I am not part of that very homosexual 11%.
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:35 pm
15 inches of America is now gay for him (Source: John Holmes)
/fixed
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:35 pm
“Well, I don’t know about that…”
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:36 pm
It would be a lot cooler if you did.
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:39 pm
“Cris has been great, great to the point that 11 percent of America is now gay for him (Source: Drew).”
Soooo… Drew accounts for 11% of America? I know he’s got some weight, but DAMN …..
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:44 pm
I am old. I got Olbermann’s reference too.
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:45 pm
THIS GUY, this guy right here is a COMPETENT COLOR MAN.
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Collinsworth thinks his 16 year old girlfriend is very mature.
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Chris Collinsworth is the JOKER of commentators
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Collinsworth: better than we expected, worse than we deserve.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:02 pm
ive been a fan of the site since the cumslingers epic inner commentary on his thought process of throwing against NE on the superbowl run… but defending that asshole collinsworth?
… im out. fuck this place
/will be back tomorrow, or later tonight if my bears dont suck.
// ok, if the comparison is madden i guess i understand u liking him
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:07 pm
Guess we’ll see you tomorrow, then.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:07 pm
“Cris Collinsworth — this guy is a color commentator. I call him the….”
/gruden
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:09 pm
/will be back tomorrow, or later tonight if my bears dont suck.
Good bye, you are the weakest sulk.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:13 pm
Waa, I sometimes disagree with the opinions of others posted on a website that otherwise provides me with humorous material day in and day out…
Sorry enbu, it’s directed more at all the comments that end in “I’m out” or “Fuck this place”, not just yours especially since yours isn’t serious. Get’s annoying, though.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:14 pm
@ Ricky Williams’s Bong: THISclose.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Flubby got a white hooker tonight.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:21 pm
@ace once kickoff happens most likely. ill withhold judgment til then. i mean im a fan of sports teams from a city that includes the cubs, gotta keep the false hope going at least til the pain starts
@OCFC no worries, wouldnt care even if u really hated me for it dude. hell, i deserve it and hate those people as well.
and btw, my quitting of the site lasted a whole ten minutes until my left open firefox tab accidentally had f5 hit while it was active and i felt the need to comment again.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:26 pm
I hadn’t noticed before but Faith Hill is fucking smoking hot.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:27 pm
11% of America would go gay for Cris Collinsworth?
Would that number double for John Madden? Half for Tony Kornheiser?
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:32 pm
The 4th Phase has to be the worst nickname for a fan club.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:33 pm
“I hadn’t noticed before but Faith Hill is fucking smoking hot.”
You’re either retarded or blind. If you’re either, my apologies. If not, COME ON. Faith Hill even SOUNDS hot. Plus, you know any girl named Faith, Hope, Chastity, or any other biblical virtue is ridiculously slutty. Also, girls named after months and gemstones. If they’re named after cars, I’d recommend staying far away. And wearing a rubber.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Vick sighting!
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:33 pm
That run was harmful to animals.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:33 pm
“Nice run, dog! Err…”
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Mike Vick just beat the Bears D with a college play.
If they need Cutler to bail them out, are they screwed or really screwed?
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:35 pm
im pretty sure andrea kramer is already a zombie and the sign of the oncoming zombie apocalypse. damn that face is scary…
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:35 pm
If they’re named after cars, I’d recommend staying far away.
Hey! My sweetheart, Tacoma Santa Fe Jones, resents that!
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Shoulda had more Captain in him.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:39 pm
I didn’t think “Tailgate Tested” guy could get tougher to stomach.
Then they went and added mustard-related sexual innuendo.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:40 pm
@enbu:
Exhibit A: http://twonateshow.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/andrea_kremer_whitebg_252.jpg
Exhibit B: http://www2.hawaii.edu/~lanning/jpgs/dobby.jpg
Maybe it’s just me…
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Please for the love of all that is holy keep throwing it to Celek.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:41 pm
You know what, fuck this site. I’m sticking to Florio now for my football coverage.
8:23pm ET – Mike, what do the Eagles need to do to win tonight?
Score more points than the Bears.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:41 pm
“Nice run, dog! Err…”
+1
@SavetoFavorites: Sorry, couldn’t resist.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:41 pm
Wait… their TACKLE’s from Vanderbilt, too? Jesus, that’s a lot of Dandy.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Suzie Kolber is way too old for Chris.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:44 pm
OMAHA!
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Hey, Eagles… he’s only going to throw you about 10 passes that can be easy INTs… you need to catch those!
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:47 pm
shit that was a lucky ass save for McNabb.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Why would you ever ask Vick to pass the ball?
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Why would you ever ask Vick to pass the ball?
Have you not seen Andy Reid coach?
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Anyone else watchign this online and just getting the same Yahoo and Sprint ads until you want to puke?
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:52 pm
the best thing that’s happened to collinsworth is for joe buck to continuously make fun of his neck
(and for madden to get too fat to breath)
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:53 pm
“Wow! A YOOGE number of people are from Chicago!”
/Michaels
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Have you not seen Andy Reid coach?
/calls a run on first down, McCoy gains 8 yards
“Eight yards! Fuck it, I’m passing from here on out.”
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:55 pm
A turkey-neck like Cris Collinsworth must get nervous around Thanksgiving.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:57 pm
@otto
since we are down 10-0 my new hope is someone accidentally shoots colinsworth in a “terrible” thanksgiving “accident”
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Wild Cris Collinsworth is actually much smarter than Domesticated Cris Collinsworth.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Ok, weird ass PS3 commercial with the dyke looking mom in it, then talking puppies in a straight to DVD Christmas movie followed by a hairy fat guy…. Worst run of commercials ever
/Gets another beer to kill the brain cell that will remember those
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Cutler breaking out the shocksulk look.
He really steps it up for primetime games.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:04 pm
“Open receivers in the endzone on consecutive plays? Whatever. I don’t care.”
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:04 pm
I cannot think of any better cutaway music there than Linkin Park.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:05 pm
“Nothing says I love you like getting bargain jewelry at the mall.”
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:07 pm
“Nothing else says ‘I had to go in anyway to get new tires at Sear’s…’”
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:07 pm
“Throwing catchable passes to the open man in the endzone is so conformist.”
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:07 pm
I really thought Jay and darkness would be a better match.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:08 pm
So we can assume that Jay Cutler is afraid of vampires?
/sulksulkslkwhere’smygarlic
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:08 pm
no need to hit them in the endzone this early. cutler is obviously a second half qb. we will hit those passes when it matters.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:08 pm
And McNabb with the one hopper to an open receiver.
This is like a clinic in overrated quarterbacking.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Speaking of Jason Peters, he’s a fat fuck.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:10 pm
What better way to say “I Love You” than with the gift of a spatula.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:11 pm
The only open receiver Jay Cutler cares about is your sister.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:12 pm
3rd and 70. here comes a first down
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Not just zero but double zero!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Rush Limbaugh says the media and the NFL only want Jay Cutler to succeed because he’s a diabetic.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Christmas Ape Says:
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:04 pm
“Open receivers in the endzone on consecutive plays? Whatever. I don’t care.”
I’ve got Olsen/Slaton vs. Iggles D in a PPR league and I’m down by 18. I don’t care if he sulks through everyone else on the roster. Olsen needs to produce!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:13 pm
I’m with you on Olsen, GU. That float bomb fucking killed me.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:14 pm
And sweet Jesus, can someone get DeSean Jackson the ball?
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:14 pm
When Tommie Harris plays well, it’s because the guard is way too fat to pick up the stunt.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:15 pm
McNabb’s not cool enough to get a roughing penalty.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Hester’s own guy brought him down. Good coaching Lovie.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Holy white running back batman!!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Wow. A Cade Mcnown mention.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:17 pm
That’s not Matt Forte!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:17 pm
I’m with you, GU (and Otto). Olsen Fanclub Assemble!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:18 pm
The crowd should hate the play call, Al.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:18 pm
I’m not the only one who heard Collinsworth call Johnny Knox “Johnny Knoxville” on that replay, right?
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Fffffffffffffffffffffuck.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:18 pm
HE’S A TERRORIST!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:18 pm
That run was so long that I uttered “who the fuck is that guy” at least three times before it was over.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Quit overthrowing Olsen, damn it!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Shades of the Jim Miller glory days?
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Touchdown? Whatever. I just want to see New Moon again tonight.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Pretty auspicious debut carry for NotMattForte there.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Andy Reid would like to challenge the ruling that the pass was not intercepted
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Quit overthrowing Olsen, damn it!
You’re not the boss of Jay!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Rob in WI is a 42 year old woman with 4 cats? Who knew…
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:22 pm
@Generic Username
Jay Cutler will overthrow Orton BECAUSE he’s on your fantasy team.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:22 pm
This game is like watching mentally challenged people try to play football.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:22 pm
The only thing missing from that scramble was yakkity sax.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Hunter Hillenmeyer:Brian Urlacher::Jerry Seinfeld as a mailman:Newman as a mailman
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Near pickeration!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:23 pm
as a bears fan i was the only one not surprised by that run, however, as a bears fan i expect 10 more runs for him netting 3-4 total yards.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Jay Cutler doesn’t care about your fantasy team, brah.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Did I just see some guy wearing red and blue face paint? Apparently being close in color is enough for some people
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Hunter Hillenmeyer:Brian Urlacher::Jerry Seinfeld as a mailman:Newman as a mailman
We knew it wasn’t you Brian… there were way too many actual tackles, and not jumping on the pile after Briggs made the tackle.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:25 pm
PICKERCEPTION! McNabb didn’t know that that means you lose posession.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:26 pm
@Fat Polamalu
I thought it was a random Texans fan a night early for the MNF game.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:26 pm
McCoy’s favorite animated film of the last few years? Why, it’s “Happy Feet,” of course!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Trent Cole looked like he had x-ray eyes.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Will the sulking commence before haltime? Someone check our BlackuWeather 5000’s readings.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Chicago crowd: BOO! MORE NOTMATTFORTE!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:27 pm
“They like Jay Cutler and want to see him in action” Of course they do, a pick 6 is much more exciting than a FG
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:28 pm
I think if one of the KSKers can get that screen cap, it will sum up the Bears season.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Someone check our BlackuWeather 5000’s readings.
HE GON SULK!
Thank you, Ollie…
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:28 pm
“Jay has missed practice NINE times this season”.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Whatever!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Desean defucked up.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:32 pm
I’m convinced, Otto: the quarterbacks in this game are actively fucking wit’cha.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:32 pm
NBC wishes it could show a replay of the Browns-Lions game right now.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:32 pm
FUCK.
/Jackson fantasy owner
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:32 pm
*Cutler throws interception*
Whatever, at least somebody caught it.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Kellen is the new go-to name for fuck-ups.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:34 pm
I mean, really? Really?
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:34 pm
YAY NOT-FORTE!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Cutler runs the naked sulkleg.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:35 pm
Is Cutlerfucker trying to emulate the Sex Cannon?
“Whatever. I’m throwing deep. Not like that cheerleader even cares.”
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Cutler’s making his case for the javelin squad for the 2012 olympics.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Yes Al… THAT’S why the pass was so overthrown.
/wanking motion
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Cutler, you’ll never get an interception this drive if you keep overthrowing defensive backs.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
So being held for one tenth of a second equals being overthrown by 15 yards? I never did understand math
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Earl Bennet is my defense attorney.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Who is Cutler bitching out there for the ball thrown into the dirt? Sir Isaac Newton?
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Great tackling Eagles… no, really, if 4 guys can’t tackle Earl Bennett, maybe you should just see if McDonald’s is hiring.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Was he overthrowing the one receiver, or underthrowing the other?
It’s so hard to tell with cutlerfucker sometimes. Always keepign us guessing.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:39 pm
2Rob – He’s just keeping the defense off balance
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:39 pm
*Culter throws into triple coverage*
Whatever, how’s my eyeliner look?
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:39 pm
dammit… meant @Rob
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:42 pm
@Rob: You really want these geniuses making your Big Mac?
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Cutlerfucker will need an insulin shot after that run.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Cutlerscrambler doesn’t have to stay inbounds to “gain extra yards” to “try to get a first down”.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Olsen just tried to pull the rubber leg.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:44 pm
“Lovie wants to work a little… (Timeout Bears)… ok, no he doesn’t”
God bless you for trying to figure out what Lovie wants to do Cris.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Apparently, they don’t teach breaking-the-armless-tackles-of-smaller-men at the U. Olsen should have gone to Vandy with Bennett.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Otto – Plus 9.8 m/s.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Sneak sulk!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:47 pm
This is absolutely painful to watch.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Speaking of diabetes, let’s show the creation of a 5000 calorie pizza
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Touchdown for Diabetes… brought to you by a headcheese and lard deepdish pizza.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:48 pm
BOO!!! NOT-FORTE IS AVERAGING MORE YPC THAN YOU’VE GOT TOTAL YARDS!!!
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Pregame
McNabb: Did you know games can end in ties? People get pissed if you don’t know that.
Cutler: Whatever *long drag off of skinny cigarette*, eventually the Earth will be enveloped by the expanding sun and we’ll all be burned alive *exhales thin stream of smoke*.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Did Andy Reid just call a time out so he’d have roughly 12 seconds after the kickoff?
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Timeout Eagles. To confuse the Bears offense by giving them time to draw up the overthrow.
Well played Andy Reid.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Doesn’t it seem sometimes like Cutler HAS to be secretly French?
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:51 pm
No way Cutler’s French. He’s Belgian.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:52 pm
Ok, what the fuck was the point of the timeout? This is going to drive me nuts trying to figure it out…. Call a time to save time to not take a shot at the end zone?
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:56 pm
@Gino Tourettsa: Either way, if not for the adoption, he’s smoking Gitanes.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Ask not what Lovie’s point was. It’s like trying to solve one of those mysteries like Stonehenge or Art Shell.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:58 pm
@Fat Polamalu: It’s Andy Reid. It doesn’t have to make sense. About all I can figure is that he suddenly remembered that timeouts don’t carry over to the 2nd half so he might as well use one there.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
I figured Cutler would smoke Gauloises. In any case, he wears a beret and curses the NFL bourgeosie.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Fuck RV guy for “coming up with” D‡‡‡
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:02 pm
Silly Costas, no one cares about Brown-Bills games.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:03 pm
God help me, I’m agreeing with Bob Costas. I think I need to drink more.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Costas obviously bet Atlanta this week.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:04 pm
After that little speech, Bob Costas might want to have someone else start his car for him after the game. Herr Goodell doesn’t like dissenters
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:07 pm
Asante is out with an injury to his…stinger.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Pick for Sulkface coming?
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Lovie Smith wants to challenge his own play calling. Andy Reid can’t figure out why.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Whose parents hated him more: Danyel Manning’s, or Macho Harris’?
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:12 pm
McNabb used to be thin?
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Vick comes on, penalty, Vick comes off.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
In all seriousness… Lurie can’t afford, like, a rules tutor for his QB?
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Of course there was a 16-yard punt in this game, why do you ask?
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:15 pm
To be fair, though, Maclin is second on the team in kills tonight, and he’s serving REALLY well.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:16 pm
This game is destined to be 12-10 or 13-12, right?
Holy fuck… can’t we get a meteor on demand?
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Jay’s girlfriend Sophie just showed up in a commercial. I think she said, “I am le tired”.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:16 pm
wheat beer gives me a migraine!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Earl Bennett will paint that car for just $19.99!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:18 pm
So, at 9:15 I flipped to Next Iron Chef finale. I am glad to see I missed only sulking and a field goal and numerous confusion at playcalling and Cutlerthrows. (Patting own back) Now I am back for the finale of Cutlersulk vs. Andyfail.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Nice popped collar.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:19 pm
If I hear “intended for Olsen” one more time…
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:19 pm
EVEN POPPED-COLLAR BEARS FAN HAS LOST SULK-FAITH!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Anonymous-Bears-Fan-Inexplicably-Wearing-A-Collared-Shirt-Under-A-Jersey is DISPLEASED
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Damn you Rob, one of your score options is now in play.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Game on! Whatever…
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:22 pm
nice towel Andy.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:22 pm
This score has entered the water-polo zone.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Even the refs are fit for this game. “We should have called that penalty, but we didn’t. Now we are. Thank you.”
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:25 pm
DeSean is not one for Defollowing Deblockers.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Or Volleyball scoring, to carry on the Maclin joke.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Or the Lovie zone 10 lovie.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:25 pm
POLICE THAT MOOSHSTACHE!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:26 pm
Holy shit, I looked at the shot of Urlacher on the sideline and I could have sworn it was Cutlerfucker.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:27 pm
“12 unanswered points”…
Is that impressive? Really? 4 consecutive FGs?
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:27 pm
First team to 15 (by ones) wins! You gotta win by two!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:31 pm
SULK MONTAGE!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Wow… a sulk montage.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Another fadeaway jumper by cutler
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:31 pm
“Sulky Cutler montage annnnnnd… scene.”
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Oh god… did I really see Cutlerfucker do the hand wave thing?
This guy really is comedy gold. My life is better with him in the NFC North.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:32 pm
What would be the Sulk Music to dub over the Sulk Montage?
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Ever since these ED commercials have become mainstream, watching football games with dad have gotten just a little bit awkward at times.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Bauhaus
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:33 pm
What would be the Sulk Music to dub over the Sulk Montage?
Depeche Mode. No question.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Touch? Down?
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Jackson!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:34 pm
ummm. That is an actual score. Whatever.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:34 pm
THANK YOU SWEET RAPTOR JESUS
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Well, there goes my 8 game FFB winning streak…
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Suddenly the Bears are back down two field goals on one play. I bet Lovie never thought of scoring more than 3 points at a time.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:35 pm
“Whatever. That’ll take TWO field goals.”
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Field Goalkkake
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Earl Bennet had a great TV show.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Is that you Johnny?
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Not in David Akers house!
In Jeff Reed’s house, sure. But not lefty!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:37 pm
even money says Cutlerfucker was drawing a penis on the whiteboard.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Chris comments in a surprised fashion regarding Jay’s indifference.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:38 pm
You, sir, shame the 7th Floor Crew.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:40 pm
More Sulk Pics? Yes Please!!!!!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:40 pm
DAMMIT, NOT-OLSEN!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Notgregolsen with the TD!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Lovie looked ready to challenge that touchdown.
“Phillip Rivers can float passes? Whatever. I can too.”
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Forte finds the endzone! Sort of!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:41 pm
and teh extra 2? huh? Waht?
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:42 pm
HELLO!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:42 pm
The crowd electrified again….for the 2nd time this season.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Macho pooped a nacho on that one.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:43 pm
What that hit really was missing was Urlacher jumping on the pile 4 seconds later to get credit for it.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:44 pm
AF LAVA! AF LAVA!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Ever since these ED commercials have become mainstream, watching football games with dad have gotten just a little bit awkward at times.
Try not sitting on his lap.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Well, that T-Formation did thrill the nation.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:46 pm
If they gave out Pro Bowl slots for pancaking dudes from behind, WInston Justice would be Anthony Munoz.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:47 pm
No, Andy Reid… not “trippin” like your kids do….
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:47 pm
I thought the ref said stripping. Oh well. I am off to bed and watch there. Carryon, Khommenters!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:49 pm
For the .000000001% of you who might care, Northeastern just disbanded its college football team.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Don Ameche, on the other hand, was healed by aliens.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:53 pm
go bears! … and such. yay!
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:55 pm
Fun fact about “the greatest game ever played” which brought the NFL into the TV era: The fucking game was blacked out from tv in New York!
Even back then the NFL was run by dickheads with stupid tv rules.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:56 pm
In Eagles games, the worst team always prevails.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:57 pm
LeSean McCoy coughs up the ball right on cue.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:57 pm
If Hillenmeyer keeps playing like this, Brian Urlacher will NEVER get the transfer to Hawai– oh, who am I kidding? He’ll ALWAYS get the transfer to Hawaii.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:58 pm
And now we’re back to a terrible game.
But, hey, that half hour of borderline good football was really fun.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:58 pm
“And I call that guy the Donkey Puncher!” Oh, wait. That’s tomorrow night. Carry on.
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:59 pm
Cutler wants you to know, he doesn’t give a shit.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:01 pm
In Eagles games, the worst team always prevails.
The Eagles are undefeated?
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:02 pm
There’s not enough footballs being thrown to Brent Celek.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Reid just calls run plays to give McNabb shorter passing options.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:15 pm
REF TACKLE!
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:16 pm
Uh oh, Collinsworth is channeling Gruden. “I call him the Hustler!”
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:19 pm
What the fungus
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Does it bother anyone else that the Jaguars might make the playoffs? They fuckin suck.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:21 pm
One of these idiots are goign to challenge, right?
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:25 pm
Umm, someone out of the Giants, Cowboys, Eagles triangle of sucktitude is going to make it.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Time for a backbreaking Cutlerfucker INT.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:28 pm
@ twoeightnine: Yes, but al three of those are more interesting brands of suck than the Jags. There is no joy to be had in the Jones-Drew sulkface.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Ha Ha you suck Cutler
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:31 pm
There’s the Cutlersulkerfucker we all know and love. Now I can go to sleep happy
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:31 pm
There’s the INT we were waiting for.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:31 pm
H Cuz is psychic.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Finally, what we all came here to see: hard core nudity!
And a culterception to lose the game.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:33 pm
Donovan McNabb tells sulkface how to deal with a town that hates your guts.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:33 pm
CUTLERCEPTION! phew, close one there. amazingly the eagles are still in the playoff hunt.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:33 pm
Donovan doing his best LaToeInjury impression: mumblemumblemumblemumblemumble
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:34 pm
McNabb likes ‘em thick, white, and with low self-esteem.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Do we NEED to check Gentleman Jay for a McHickey?
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:39 pm
@Monkey Business:
“Plus, you know any girl named Faith, Hope, Chastity, or any other biblical virtue is ridiculously slutty.”
Two words — Chastity fucking Bono.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Vintage fucking Cuntler! I can’t imagine a better sunday. Oh wait, the Donks could’ve showed up for a home game. The whisky helps.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:45 pm
http://twitpic.com/qljl3
cue “The Chicago Bears were exposed in more than one way way last night…” ledes in 5-4-3-2-1….
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:47 pm
Lovie wants to challenge the final score.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:49 pm
Goddammit Cutlerfucker! It would help if your OC was halfway as competent as that Corky kid from Life Goes On but fuck me! It’s sad when Josh Beekman is the only offensive lineman on the team that comes close to mediocre.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:59 pm
It’s only fitting
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:28 am
@Visanthe: doesn’t count. She’s now a he.
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:00 am
if anyone has ever played madden, cris collinsworth is the biggest dickhead ever. stop showing me where i should have thrown the ball mother fucker!
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:47 am
Dennis “Cocksucking” Miller? Really???
This shitty little sports blog has become little more than leftist propaganda. HOW MUCH IS GEORGE SOROS PAYING YOU FAGGOTS???