We have four late afternoon affairs to keep you from venturing outdoors today, including three divisional contests. The Jets are in New England, and they’ve already learned that OWAH TAWMFOOLAHRY IS MOAR DISRUPTIVE THAN YOUAH TAWMFOOLAHRY.
- The Jets received an unwelcome wake-up call last night when the fire alarm at the team’s hotel was set off, prompting a complete evacuation. The Jets immediately suspected foul play, but their concerns were put to rest with a completely plausible explanation. You see, some maintenance workers were doing a bit of routine middle-of-the-night stairwell sanding. Obviously this created a cloud of dust that managed to set off the smoke alarm. It’s so absurd that it has to be true.
- Cue up the sad walking away music from The Incredible Hulk in Denver, because San Diego is going to hand the Broncos their fourth consecutive loss. Chris Simms will get the start in place of Kyle Orton, so Tom Brandstater should probably start getting loose now.
- Arizona is in St. Louis, but this game is barely being televised, so it doesn’t really count.
- Cincinnati starts their three week vacation today against the Raiders in Oakland, after which they return home to host Cleveland and Detroit. It’s going to be pure hell. Cedric Benson is officially inactive this week, not that it should matter.
Photo via Yahoo!
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Ruh-roh, pussytubing may be back on.
It’s late. Long after the game was over, but this needs to be pointed out.
Matt Stafford: 26/43, 422 yds, 5 TDs, 2 INTs.
422 yards. Every single team Stafford faced in college held him to fewer yards in the air than the Browns did today. Every. Single. One. FCS opponents. Sun Belt opponents. SEC opponents. ACC opponents. Big 10. WAC. Every single one.
Belidick out of challenges..yah!
Another lost challenge for Belichick
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3sxYA16Qfk Poor Drew
Roethlisberger head owie messed up my pick JennyM.
If Leinart manages to fail away an 18 point lead to the Rams then he doesn’t deserve a starting job anywhere in the NFL.
@JennyM Its the Rams, bra! We got this!
/Shot of Leinart tapping a keg on the sidelines.
Thanks, Mike.
Matty Time better not mess up my suicide pick this week, bra.
@JennyM Warner had a neck thingy, Bra! Its Matty Time, Bra!
i meant @boatdrinks
Matt Leinart is playing…what happened to Warner?
@archo yes but he sucks so Neckbeard has made a Willis Reed type entrance
Are the officials at the pats/jets game drunk or something?
Haha Beanie wells has nice stickys
wait, didn’t Simms start for Denver?
THE BALL WAS SNAPPED AT THE 30!!! Jim Nantz is angry!!
Memo to Rex Ryan………. YOU MIGHT WANT TO COVER FACKING WELKAH!!!! 150 yards in one half. Fuck me
Don’t forget, the hotel workers were also sanding the walls week 1 against the Jills.
Neckbeard is gonna lead the Broncos to an amazing comeback. This has the feel of a game that Marshall will take over in the end.
kay. I don’t think Phil Simms ever thinks like Belichick. Why would the Pats take the foot off the accelerator and give the Jets any relief before halftime, PHil?
@Boatdrinks: No. Punt was blocked, so the hit on the kicker is legit.
A serious question? Was that kicker roughed or why not? (Pats punter)
hey chris hanson take a seat…. what are you doin?
oops, meant can’t sleep
@boatdrinks – I did now. Thanks for that image and I will blame you when I can sleep because I’m thinking of BDD taking a shit while watching TV.
Did anyone watching the Jets game watch that FLOW tv ad and think of BDD?????
Seriously, what is it about the Cowboys thats most contributing to the suck at this point?
Jim Nantz mentioned an eaked out win by Cowboys. EEK. Glad I didn’t have to watch that game…for gods sake, the Redskins were throwing a shutout. The REDSKINS.??
@obit_rice: the Colts are 2 wins away from locking up the #1 seed. I.e., it will be a 2nd round loss.
SANCHEZ!
This reminds me of the time the Red Sox beat the Yankees the first 8 times they played at the beginning of the 2009 season.
Jets are getting raped. Holy God.
Fackin’ Welker. Fackin’ Jets.
somebody has to get that clip of haley’s face when his guys embraced him after the win.
I DON’T LIKE TO BE TOUCHED!!!
How shitty are the Colts? i predict another First round loss to Lazerface.
I agree with Acha. As a resident of Baltimore also, I nominate Ed Reed’s illegal forward pass that he botched and basically handed to the other team. FAIL. With that, the sounds of thousands of Raves fans’ hearts breaking were heard.
Could someone recap? That ending sounds delicious, with a creamy fail filling.
Browns up by 6, Stafford throws deep as the clock runs out, intercepted at the 0, but Cleveland is called for pass interference. Lions get a go from the Browns 1-yard line, TD and PAT = Detroit wins by a point with 0:00 on the clock.
YOU CAN’T TACKLE WELKAHHHH.
@BMS – Sorry about that, I just assumed you guys were as resigned to spectacular failure like we Lions fans are. And let’s face it, that was a pretty spectacular implosion there.
There they are!!!
So when they talk about the Jets 5-0 start they are counting scrimmage games during OTAs?
The Browns have figured a way to lose with no time left on the clock.
Could someone recap? That ending sounds delicious, with a creamy fail filling.
At this rate, fatass is going to be crying before we even get to halftime. Fucking idiot Jets.
Personal foul on Larry “Tom” Izzo, good to see him taking one for the team. The team being “people who hate the Patriots,” not the Jets.
Steelers fail and Browns fail were both pretty epic. Living in Balmer with all of the Stabby McStabberson fans I choose the Ed Reed lateral fail as best fail of the day…
…fail.
The Browns have figured a way to lose with no time left on the clock.
That has to give them the Least this week. That’s just epic.
Meanwhile the Jets are out to prove that they can suck better than anyone else.
See, that’s where you’re wrong. As a Browns fan, I fully expected to lose by 3 touchdowns to the Lions. I never thought we’d be in the game long enough to choke it away.
Sanchise, full of fail.
Nice for Boston to get some revenge on Johnny Damon after skipping town on them.
So bigger choke: the Redskins shutting out the Cowboy for much of the game and then losing 7-6 or the Giants leading by 17 points and letting Atlanta take them to OT?
The Browns have figured a way to lose with no time left on the clock.
Taint!
Pick six for San-chez!
Should we officially start the suicide watch for Ape? Granted, the Browns choked too but face it, they’re the Browns, their fans had to expect that.
Oh and Laurence Maroney just fumbled the ball away. Any chances he’s there next season?
Jests and Patsies. Rooting for a meteorite. All tears delicious.
thats great but who r the Chefs?
now i wish i had seen that lions/browns game
and i guess arrowhead is still a tough place to play at for visiting teams… And the home of the CHIEEEEEFFFFFFSSSSS! THE STEELERS COULDNT CONTEND AGAINST OUR ONE HUNDRED THIRTY DECIBEL CROWD NOISE!
Why the Hell isn’t anyone talking about the CFL Playoffs, eh? Montreal just stomped BC and soon we’ve got Calgary at Saskatchewan.
Lion win, Steelers lose, best day ever.
I never thought I would say this, but I wish I watched that Lions game.
8 of the 10 early games were decided by 6 points or less. I managed to watch the two that were not.
Matt Stafford es mas macho.
ONLY THE BROWNS!
Browns with the most epic FAIL of the day. LOL
Jesus. SteelerFail.
That Wild Card ain’t no slam dunk either. Good thing we OAK fans don’t have to worry about such stressful things as playoff races.
When his team embraced him after the win, Todd Haley had a look of, “GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME, YOU MAGGOTS!”
Oh wait, nevermind. Chefs knock off Steelers. THAT’s the biggest choke of the day.
Somwhere Ape is punching himself out.
Chris Chambers FTW. Steelers FAIL
So bigger choke: the Redskins shutting out the Cowboy for much of the game and then losing 7-6 or the Giants leading by 17 points and letting Atlanta take them to OT?
I know this the 4pm thread, but…KC/PIT…OT?!?!?!? As a Raiders fan I–got nothing. Fuck the Chiefs, I guess. Ape must be beside himself. Or a large parrot.