We have four late afternoon affairs to keep you from venturing outdoors today, including three divisional contests. The Jets are in New England, and they’ve already learned that OWAH TAWMFOOLAHRY IS MOAR DISRUPTIVE THAN YOUAH TAWMFOOLAHRY.
- The Jets received an unwelcome wake-up call last night when the fire alarm at the team’s hotel was set off, prompting a complete evacuation. The Jets immediately suspected foul play, but their concerns were put to rest with a completely plausible explanation. You see, some maintenance workers were doing a bit of routine middle-of-the-night stairwell sanding. Obviously this created a cloud of dust that managed to set off the smoke alarm. It’s so absurd that it has to be true.
- Cue up the sad walking away music from The Incredible Hulk in Denver, because San Diego is going to hand the Broncos their fourth consecutive loss. Chris Simms will get the start in place of Kyle Orton, so Tom Brandstater should probably start getting loose now.
- Arizona is in St. Louis, but this game is barely being televised, so it doesn’t really count.
- Cincinnati starts their three week vacation today against the Raiders in Oakland, after which they return home to host Cleveland and Detroit. It’s going to be pure hell. Cedric Benson is officially inactive this week, not that it should matter.
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by using whatever they can to gain an advantage over opponents or multi-player rivals. Nitro boosts also give players a welcome burst of speed while a wide-range of extras picked up during the race contribute to slowing down opposing karts.
Cincinnati starts their three week vacation today against the Raiders in Oakland, after which they return home to host Cleveland and Detroit. It’s going to be pure hell. Cedric Benson is officially inactive this week, not that it should matter.
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What the hell is it with hotel construction crews? The same thing happened to my cousin and her husband at Holiday Inn on Saturday.
Sulkerception!
@ MadmanMundt
That prediction was quasi-Peter-King-ish.
@therick711 yeah but he’d have almost no ammunition considering USC has sucked it up this year after he left.
Apparently everyone was playing to win this weeks Least
Doucet Early, Doucet Often.
May I presume that’s some sort of Pittsburgh-area delicacy, like scrapple?
Scrapple is a Philly thing. Unless they put fries on it, then yinzers might eat it.
Kind of like whipped cream on a runny turd.
May I presume that’s some sort of Pittsburgh-area delicacy, like scrapple?
@ Otto – “Early Ducet” Sounds like something the Philly cheerleader should use.
Alright, with the Jets’ season out of the way, on to Sulkface!
or sadness. cutlerfucker defines semi-quasi-ennui-ishness.
@Boatdrinks – on the ESPN pool where you cant technically be eliminated i went with the Pats this week. Cant bet against an angry belichick.
Counting down to one hour left until delicious cutlerfucker tears of unfathomable sorrow.
Ben, I was debating Arizona or Pittsburgh. Ugh. Of course, technically both Eagles and Packers have already bumped me out….but you know I still wanted to compete….sigh. I took Pittsburgh….
Eh, the Ravens and Bungles both lost. Makes the Chiefs debacle a mite bit more palatable. Kind of like whipped cream on a runny turd.
Of course Braylon Edwards drops the Hail Mary with it right in his hands.
well everyone’s suicide pool just went boom
/lost mine in week 2
God i wish Brady would get hurt still being in the game with 25 seconds left and still passing
And the Oakland secondary enthusiastically indicates interception at the end of regulation, because hell, they need all the help they can get on their stat line.
Ape/Punte Suicide Watch — Who Ya Got?
And us poor Raiders fans can continue drinking on a sunday in celebration instead of sorrow….for 4 more days anyway
actually it did
That didn’t just happen in Oakland…
Ummm. Detroit and Oakland win. Same day. What. the. hell. Ice freezing in hell?
FG raiders….
…and a fumble on the ensuing kickoff. And the AFC North collapse is complete pending the boot by the alcoholic Raiders LB/K.
I’m more annoyed that Sanchez fumbled because I was getting such awesome garbage time yardage from T-Jones.
oops, fail by me. I give CBS permission to cut away!
Rex Benchez Sanchez.
RuhRoh, Raiders are TIED with Bengals, 0:33 seconds left….
And Bizarro Week here in the NFL continues…
And that is how you choke away a game Cincy
The Raiders just tied up the game with :33 left in the game. Looks like the AFC North fail bus is pulling into Marvin Lewis’ parking space…
Gradkowski already has had a better year than Jamarcus in one game
Luke Wilson has gained about 75lbs since Old School.
Fuck you, Collinsworth. Ppiece of shit Gator.
I DEMAND MORE SANCHISE!
Yup. Rex Ryan GON CRY!
Way to hold onto the ball that time Maroney, if only you could have done that last week you cockbag.
My Dad just swore pretty bad about that Jewish guy getting the first down.
I still can’t believe the Pats cloned Tim Dwight … twice.
@ Otto
He takes after the late Early Doucet Senior.
I don’t like Pete Carroll, but I would love to see him taunt Mark Sanchez right now.
This game is going forever. Missed another pick…..
another pick for nacho
“Raiders/ Cowboys , Doughtry at halftime”…give me a few more reasons not to watch, CBS
I just wrote Game Over in my notebook.
HA! Alright, not a pick 6, but a pick nonetheless. Holy God Sanchez sucks.
small threadjack: Pats game is boring enough I jumped to the end of NASCAR race. And amusingly, while interviewing the 4 time champ Jimmie Johnson, the poor interviewer was offended when actual friends/rivals of JJ jumped in and congratulated him. Ha ha ha hahahhahaha.
Pick 6 coming for Sanchise?
Three picks off of Sanchez and we’re only up by 10. The Pats are going to find a way to make this a last minute game again, I can just feel it.
Watching the Cardinals stats, and “Early Doucet” needs to be trademarked by a feminine hygiene company.
Rex Ryan’s tears are going to reach Glenn Beck levels after this one.
Oh, thank heaven for Nacho.
this Sanchez guy is doing pretty good throwing to the Patriots
The Jets could actually be a dangerous team if they just had a QB to build a franchise around.
Jesus Christ, is Sanchez throwing these picks on purpose?
i heard it too…must be some secret society of qb’s thing
Who is this Spanish guy playing QB for the Jets-Jets-Jets?
You all are assholes. If anyone wishes to contact me, please visit my new site at http://www.Lem onparty.org
Otto: No, I definitely heard it. Notice how it was completely ignored in the booth.
If the Pats blow this game I might go and hang myself by the balls.
@Otto: Hell, I still post here; it was just a coincidence that some guy in a mask broke both my knee caps with a tire iron.
Tell me I wasn’t the only one who heard Phil Simms refer to Brett Farve as “a serial buttslapper.”
@ Otto: Think there’s enough of us who hate the Yinzers to back ya up.
@Leigh
Sure, but then they were up against the Browns and the Lions D, ranked 32nd and 31st in the league respectively. Those are some sucktastic defensive units.
As a Chiefs fan, let me ask … is it safe to be here?
This Welker guy is a player.Apparently this is news to The Pussytuber.
Speaking of pussy Kerry RHodes could be the biggest pussy to suit up ever.
It’s bad enough I have to watch the Jets-Pats game but does it have to be a 4 hour game?
Matt Stafford: 26/43, 422 yds, 5 TDs, 2 INTs
Brady Quinn 21/33, 304 yds, 4 TDs, 0 INTs
I can’t believe I’m typing this, but: Stafford and Quinn were the two best quarterbacks playing in today’s 1:00 p.m. games.
I should have known better than to actually get a little hope before the Broncos fumbled, fumbled, ran past an onside kick, were picked off…
wow..amazing stat Thornus..and i thought being a Raider fan was tough