No Need To Worry, ‘The Brass’ Has An Idea
Another week, and another demoralizing loss for the Redskins. As if things weren’t quite bad enough the team will now have to do without Clinton Portis for a while after the running back sustained a concussion in Sunday’s loss to the Falcons. But fear not, Redskins fans, because Danny and the Sarge (pictured above looking like assholes) know how to keep the offense running smoothly in Portis’ absence.
If you think their plan has anything to do with leaning heavily on the perfectly capable legs of Ladell Betts (93 yards and a touchdown on 16 touches in relief of Portis) then you obviously aren’t all that familiar with the brain-trust at Redskins Park.
/chokes on half-smoke
Damn, they managed to catch me off guard with that one. After all this time you’d think that nothing coming out of Ashburn could possibly surprise me, then they go and admit to something like this.
Let me be perfectly clear, the Redskins have NOTHING to gain by signing a malcontent prick halfway through the season. Especially one who averages 2.7 yards per carry. The man carries the football the way DeAngelo Hall tackles people (a hug is not a tackle!). And really, even if they were looking at the 2006 Larry Johnson, what is the fucking point? Do they think that this season is somehow salvageable? Do they think that running back depth is the real problem? DO THEY REALIZE THAT LEVI JONES IS THEIR STARTING LEFT TACKLE?
Dan Snyder, you need to break this shit down. Break it down to the foundation, then grab a jackhammer and a backhoe and go deeper. Then when you have a nice big hole, throw Vinny Cerrato in it and hire an actual GM to come in and start rebuilding the foundation (that way Vinny can still feel like he’s a part of things). Redskins fans won’t even care if the team goes 4-12 next year as long as you lose Vinny, ignore free agency, load up on draft picks, and use said picks on guys who play any position other than wide receiver, tight end, defensive back, running back, or quarterbacks (at least during the first day).
Tags: dan snyder, Danny and the Sarge, Larry Johnson, Signings that wouldn't surprise Wilbon in the least, Tagkkake, the worst idea you'll hear all day, Unsilent Majority, Vinny Cerrato, Was Shaun Alexander not available?, Washington Redskins, You have to be f*cking kidding me
November 9th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
This is the worst idea I’ve ever heard; whoever thought of it should be kicked squarely in the balls.
November 9th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Might I suggest Dupont Circle as a residence LJ? You’ll love it there!
November 9th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Also, take out your wallet. Lay it next to the hole. And jump in with Vinny.
November 9th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
::facepalm::
I don’t even have the words
::triple salchow facepalm with 3/4 twist ending::
November 9th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Funny. I have LJ on my fantasy team…when I heard he got cut, I immediately said “He’ll be a Redskin within a week.” I was kidding…
November 9th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Look at it this way, when the Redskins manage to fumble around and get to 17 points, you know you can leave and won’t miss any scoring. Even if it’s the first half.
November 9th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Dan Snyder is a douche! Look at his shoes! he must be a ladies man! hahahaha
November 9th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
This is beautiful. I am using the word beautiful the same way that my Dad used the word when my teenaged sister told him she was pregnant.
“Beautiful, just fucking beautiful.”
November 9th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
They’ve held off on signing Edge James….. so I think you’re probably just going to continue sucking as you have before.
/Starting to buy Simmons’ theory on MarHar after the Chiefs picked up Chambers contract.
November 9th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
wow. This makes me less ashamed of being a Rams fan
November 9th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
But it worked so well with Shaun Alexander last year!!!
November 9th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Are the Skins desperate to sign every idiotic douchebag in the NFL?
November 9th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
“a hug is not a tackle!”
But it’s very nice. Very nice.
November 9th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
You knew this was coming. He can join in the long list of awesome additions that includes Shaun Alexander
November 9th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
use said picks on guys who play any position other than wide receiver, tight end, defensive back, running back, or quarterbacks
But that only leaves the offensive and defensive lines! How we gonna win drafting like that, Cooch?
November 9th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Guess who’s going to be a free agent next year? Terrell Owens!
November 9th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Somewhere Rock Cartwright weeps.
November 9th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Yeah exhibit A Shaun Alexander.
Why not just tape the money onto some expensive fireworks and light them? It would have more entertainment value.
November 9th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
If they are smart they will pick him up before he clears waivers. That way the Redskins can be responsible for the rest of his 2009 salary and not have a bidding war with umm, yeah, umm. Well, just to be safe.
/chuckle
November 9th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Yeah I think we can agree the Redskins are set at quarterback.
November 9th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
See you say that, 85, but worse QBs than Jason Campbell have won the Super Bowl. A great offensive line and an attitude adjustment (which comes with a new coach) get the Skins into the playoffs. They need a few more moves to become contenders, sure, but I don’t think Jason Campbell is their main problem.
November 9th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
I bet you Mark Sanchez is happy he didn’t land in this hell hole
November 9th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
You know who would the perfect GM for the Redskins? Jerry Jones.
November 9th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Nah, Al Davies would be much better and cheaper
November 9th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
was that a PK tweet? All it needed at the end was:
OR maybe he won’t. I’ll ask Tony. As in Dungy. The fact that they cap the number of characters you can type on one of these is the second worst injustice I’ve ever faced. #1 – No Gran Torino in my theater.
November 9th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Oh, that pic above of Snyder and Cerrato is ripe with fake caption possibilities!!!!!!!!!
November 9th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
“use said picks on guys who play any position other than wide receiver, tight end, defensive back, running back, or quarterbacks (at least during the first day).”
And with the 6 pick in the 2010 NFL Draft, the Washington Redskins select… Wes Byrum, Kicker from Auburn.
November 10th, 2009 at 12:27 am
For your viewing pleasure: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vinny_Cerrato
How the fuck does this guy STILL have a job? Somebody, please, for the love of God tell me why.
November 10th, 2009 at 12:37 am
Danny is a master strategist. 3 more overpaid has beens, and his plan will be complete.
November 10th, 2009 at 9:17 am
Yeah go ahead and sign him.. I’ve haven’t entirely got fucking sick of hearing John Riggins soundbytes yet….
November 10th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
How about signing TO and Michael Vick for next year?
A foundation of TO, Vick and LJ would be awesome. At least for me, since I live in DC and am not a Redskins fan…
/double face palm
//wishes he had as much money to do stupid shit with
November 11th, 2009 at 10:03 am
pictured above …….looking like assholes-classic