KSK Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week — Week 9
Chris Johnson is your lion-maned Meast after shredding the 49ers defense for 135 yards and two scores. Add to that the fact that he had another 80-yard TD nullified by penalty after it was ruled he stepped out of bounds, and that’s a textbook Meastian performance. We almost gave it to him the other week after his “getting-away-from-the-cops speed” game, but opted to shock the world with Ted Ginn instead. Gus Johnson was later forced to apologize for that remark (he defended the call by saying people of all races run from the police, which is true, BUT ONLY BLACK PEOPLE GET AWAY!), which is about as stupid as Muslim groups having to apologize for the Fort Hood shooting. But people are stupid and expect these things, I guess. Anyway, if Johnson were on any less putrid of a team, he’d probably be in the thick of the MVP race. He’s on pace to run for close to 2,000 yards and is averaging an insane 6.7 yards per carry. That’s more than the Redskins gain most weeks.
Your Least this week is Champ Bailey, who’s often wrongly still referred to as the best cover corner in the NFL, even though it’s been a few years since that’s actually been the case. Sorry, Champ, Darrelle Revis and Nnamdi Asomugha done took yo shit. After the Broncos secondary was fluffed for the entire first half of last night’s game, Bailey was routinely torched by Santonio Holmes in the second. He then capped the night by letting a small dirty playing Asian guy jump over him into the endzone for some piling-on points. We also considered Andy Reid and DeAngelo Hall this week, but then we know they’ll be back for more suckling at the teat of suck in no time at all.
Tags: chris johnson, jeff george memorial least of the week, Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week, xmas ape
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November 10th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Nice little sneaky bit of homerism there. Nothin wrong with that.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
would it kill you to give the meast to peyton? honestly…god.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
C Johnson, my fantasy team thanks you sir!
November 10th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
I bet Chris Johnson doesn’t have Coldplay or DMB on his ipod, brah.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Fuck Chris Johnson and his non-letting-LenWhale have the football in the short yardage goal line situation ass.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Chris Johnson will eat your babies, bitch
/Sunny’ed
November 10th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Rub it in, Ape, why don’t you? (grumbles)
Stupid old-ass Broncos secondary.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
If you look closely in the video, you can see Ward stabbing Bailey’s foot with a punji stick (what with being the dirtiest player and all).
November 10th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Accusing gentle Ape of homerism? That’s the last straw!
/Farnsworth’d
November 10th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Darrelle Revis and Nnamdi Asomugha done took yo shit
Asante Samuel objects!
November 10th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
a steelers fan at the bar where i was watching the game (go figure) proclaimed that to be the gayest TD he had ever seen. he spent the whole game waving a yellow towel around, though, so i didn’t know what to say to him. nothing else.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
I wanna be IRON. LIKE A LION. IN ZION.
IRON LION ZION
November 10th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
How does Marmalard not get Meast after that two minute drill to beat the Giants, capped off by float perfection to VJ?
November 10th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
The dreads must give him strength. Either that or the gold teef.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
peyton for meast in week 10!
November 10th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
How does Marmalard not get Meast after that two minute drill to beat the Giants, capped off by float perfection to VJ?
Possibly because of the terrible INT he threw on the previous drive that SHOULD have cost the Chargers the game, that is, if Tom Coughlin weren’t retarded.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Kurt Warner’s 5th TD was like Indiana Jones shooting that dude who spun his sword all around. Warner FTW.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
De Conquering Lion of Judah…
November 10th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
John Legend, brah.
November 10th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Excuse me while I light my spliff
Oh lord I got to take a lift
Of reality I just can’t drift
That’s why I’m staying with this riff
/Easy Skanking’d
//Also thought he had a Bob Marley vibe…without the gold toofuses though.
November 10th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Bob Marley is ok, DMB isn’t. You hippies are confusing.
November 10th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
@rob
YES IT WOULD!
November 10th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Fuck Champ Bailey right in his butt. If he makes that tackle, I win my fantasy football game this week. Instead, Hines Ward defeats my team with a single smirring leap.
BTW, what were the Steelers doing passing there anyway? The ONLY possible way the Broncos could have gotten back into the game was with a pick 6, and they’re throwing it. The play should have been a QB sneak, and then probably another QB sneak on 4th down. Worst case scenario for the Steelers, it leaves the Broncos down 10 on their own 1 yard line with less than 30 seconds to go and no TO’s.
November 10th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
QBs can not be measts. There is nothing half-man, half-beast about throwing a ball, dammit. When’s the last time you saw an animal throw a ball? NEVER. DOLPHINS DON’T COUNT. FUCK YOU, DOLPHIN.
Anyway, unless if a QB shrugs off a handful of defenders and throws a deep pass over the middle into the hands/helmet of his receiver, there aren’t really a whole lot of measty plays a QB can make. Just saying.
November 10th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
“Bob Marley is ok, DMB isn’t. You hippies are confusing.”
Anyone who collaborates with Kenny Chesney is automatically not okay
November 10th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
That’s a cool mask Chris Johnson is wearing.
November 10th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
DeAngelo Hall should be the Least
circled date against Atlanta way back when schedule came out. check!
talked smack all week. check!
played like crap and failed to back up smack talk. check!
In his defense, he always plays like crap and fails to back up his smack talk.
November 10th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Anyone who collaborates with Kenny Chesney is automatically not okay
Anyone who collaborates with both Kenny Chesney and the J5 is just fucking with my head.
November 10th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
@MiniDitka
I was wondering the same thing…the game was clearly over and it’s common courtesy not to pass in that situation. That play was very Belichickian…the dark emperor is proud.
November 10th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
@MiniDitka:
I feel you, man. I had the Denver D vs. my opponent having Hines Ward. Without that last play, I win by 5. I lost by 3.
Champ Bailey should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie?
November 10th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
When did Lil wayne start playing for Tennesee? Fuck… I gotta get off that fuckyeahbraziliangirls website.
November 10th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Actually I think Johnson looks more like Tia Dalma from the second Pirates of the Caribbean movie
http://www.wildhunt.org/tiadalma.jpg
November 10th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Coach Mike Smith for Meast coach o’ the week.
November 11th, 2009 at 12:44 am
My pick ‘em pool came down to MNF total points. I picked 34 and the Steelers sat at 31 points until Champ Bailey decided to pull some of that “Ole, bullshit!. Consequently I am no champ…..nor is he. Die Donkeys
November 11th, 2009 at 2:37 am
tracy chapman for MVP FTW!
November 11th, 2009 at 7:31 am
Tyrone Carter for Meast – filling in for Clark with two picks and a TD in Champ Bailey’s house.
November 11th, 2009 at 11:17 am
Girl you know it’s true…ooh ooh ooh..I love you…
November 12th, 2009 at 4:15 am
predator
November 12th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Cris Johnson looks like the rastafarian guy from the limo in the alley from Predator 2