
This has nothing to do with the NFL, and it’s not very funny. But if you’re interested in the military roots of a football blogger, read on.
I did a reading last week. The person organizing the event, knowing of my experience as a Marine in the initial invasion of Iraq, asked me to read something about the Middle East. I accepted. Ohhhhh did I accept.
This particular reading series is run by and populated with graduates of the M.F.A. writing program at Sarah Lawrence College — a commendable program by all accounts, but one that inevitably produces a lot of female writers talking about their relationship with their mothers. Furthermore, it’s a nonfiction reading series, and since most of the readers are highly educated writers by trade, there’s no REAL drama. No violent crime, no fires being put out, no fistfights — only existential crises that inevitably stem from an absent father or overbearing mother, or vice versa.
Well, I was determined to turn their reading series on its head. I selected a passage that I put in the category of DARK AS HELL, one of the more emotional and gruesome passages from my always-and-forever-unfinished memoir about the war. I was gonna freak some bitches out.
However, there was one thing I didn’t count on: I don’t generally share my experience at war with anyone besides fellow veterans. I’ll tell the funny stories, or show the pictures of me with friends goofing off, but my feelings about war and my fear of death and the lives I broke as carelessly as a glass from Ikea are all things that I keep inside of me.
And you know what? That doesn’t help anyone. It doesn’t help the civilians who ask me honest questions about combat, it doesn’t help other veterans who are fighting the demons of their own memories, and it doesn’t help those who try to avoid the ugly reality of war. Like, say, our Congress since the all-volunteer force was adopted.
With that in mind, what follows is the passage I read last week. It’s about my fears of going to combat just after we got the word that the invasion was about to begin. It was extremely uncomfortable for me to share it with an audience of strangers. I hope that it’s uncomfortable for you to read.
***
As the sun rises, so does my anxiety. Are we actually going to war? We are. We are actually going to war. I personally am going to war. Holy Jesus living fuck save me God in heaven fuh-huh-huh-huh-huck.
I don’t want to die. Oh God, how is it going to happen? So many ways, death at every corner and lining the streets in between. Who’s going to shoot at me? Iraqi tanks? Okay, that’s okay—we’ve got armor for that. Good armor. Great armor, the best armor. But what if it’s a close shot? Maybe that Iraqi tank round doesn’t penetrate but the shock of the blast causes the inside of the turret to splinter—spalling, it’s called—and all it takes is one little piece of metal to go into my exposed neck, to cut my jugular, and I’m gasping, choking on my own blood, trying to get out a desperate last prayer for life. Or maybe that hot piece of metal goes through my eye and I go quick. No, no—I know. I’m going to have to get off my tank—there’s a wounded Marine, or I need to help an innocent citizen, or there’s a reporter in the way—and that’s when the large-caliber rounds rip through my legs—why didn’t I see that machine gun emplacement?—shattering my femurs, cutting my femoral arteries, and oh God no not my balls. My balls are going to get shot off and even if I live I’ll be a crazy legless veteran with no balls.
Jesus, RPGs. I haven’t even thought about the RPGs. One shot from behind, or a top-down shot in a city whose name I don’t even know, and there goes the fuel tank. It’ll burn slowly at first, and I’ll be standing on the turret, making sure Sprague gets out of the gunner’s hole when the fire catches the ammunition, maybe the violently combustible main gun rounds, maybe just a box of 7.62; it won’t take much to shatter this fragile body, shred my guts to mincemeat, blow my limbs off—the flies will lay their eggs on the muscle of my detached humerus when it lands three hundred yards away; maggots will feast on my decomposing bicep. Feral dogs will fight over a piece of my foot rotting in its boot near the charred tank, and I’ll have died with the smell of my own flesh burning in my nostrils.
Oh God don’t let it be me. Maybe it won’t be me. Carnline—he’s the curious type, always has his head out of the loader’s hatch when he should be staying down. He’ll be up joy-riding on the side of the hatch because I’ve gotten tired of telling him not to, and the sniper’s bullet is going to catch him in the cheek, and his helmet will prevent an exit wound. I’ll be the one to lay him down on top of the turret, and I’ll pull his helmet off and his brains and shattered skull will fall into my lap, gray matter and pink stuff I can’t identify and flecks of bone like ivory, hard and sharp in the soft mess. And I’ll vomit into Carnline’s brains, and I’ll cry into his open skull, and my Marines will look at me and ask each other This is the guy they chose to lead us?
My heartbeat throbs against my wrists, beats my eardrums, thunders against my woozy temples. I chain-smoke behind my tank. I’m trying to get enough nicotine into my body to stop my hands from shaking. It hasn’t worked yet.
My platoon sergeant comes around the side of the tank and says, “Oh. There you are, sir. Been lookin’ for ya.”
“Well, I’ve been right here.” I’ve been hiding.
“The platoon’s all here, if you wanna talk to ’em.”
I don’t. Not at all. “Thanks, I’ll be there as soon as I finish my smoke.”
I’ve never been good at speeches. I always forget what it is that I want to say, so I have to write down notes, which cuts down on the rambling but makes for less effective go-get-’em speeches. Today I have so little to say that I’ve foregone notes.
I toss my cigarette into the sand and walk to the front of my tank. I look at my platoon. They’re a motley crew: gangsters, country boys, college-kid reservists, immigrants, tattooed thugs. They can drink and swear and tank like no other group of Americans I know. I have trained them, trained with them, and I love them fiercely.
I can count on Sergeant Melville for detailed, even excessive, reports. Corporal Weber—Big Joe, he’s from Washington, I’ll write him a recommendation for a college scholarship next year. Sergeant Horner’s little boy Lawson isn’t more than a couple months old. I know when Sprague has been sneaking cans of chili into the gunner’s hole because his farts smell worse than usual. Willie—when was the last time Willie brushed his teeth? Zapien’s a reservist; he works in a bank and has a pretty Asian girlfriend he’s going to marry when we get back. Lopez, just a baby when he got to the company—now he’s practically an old salt. I’ve watched him grow up. I guess he’s watched me grow up, too.
My Marines. My men, for whom I’m responsible. I’m twenty-four and older than all but two of them. I’m twenty-four and responsible for as many lives as I have years, if I count my own (and I do). I have twenty-four mothers to answer to, eight wives depending on me not to fuck this up. These men deserve the toughest, smartest leader that the Marine Corps can produce.
What they have is me, and I.
Am.
Terrified.
I clear my throat.
“I know y’all were probably lookin’ forward to a big Braveheart talk, but you know me—I’m not one to speechify.” Dead silence. Is my voice actually trembling? “We all know that we have a just cause for going to war, and we’ve already gone over the scheme of maneuver a hundred times.
“I’m just like the rest of you: I’ve never been to combat, so I don’t know what it’s like. But I want to tell you all that it’s okay to be scared.” I’ve been looking at the ground. I raise my head and force myself to look at them; I move my gaze around to meet several different sets of eyes. “What’s not okay is to let that fear overcome you. No panicking. We’re all well-trained, and as long as we go with our training and make quick decisions, we’re gonna accomplish the mission and be fine. Tank commanders, you know what I expect.”
They’re still looking at me. I’ve just given one of the least inspirational speeches in the history of warfare.
“That’s about all I wanted to say.”


LT: finish & publish the goddam book. You’re no longer a tank commander. You’re a fucking good writer. Fucking good writers are at their best when addressing subjects they know best. You know your war. Let the public know about it. Too few understand what’s happened there, why it’s important, or who’ve made it happened. They sure as shit won’t learn about it from the MSM. It’ll be your latest and best contribution to a war effort that sorely needs the help.
And it’ll get my head out of these fuckin air war college manuals.
With gratitude for your service and its remembrance,
Lt Col Derek Phillips, USAFR
Awesome read. I got there about a year and a half after the first push and I can remember feeling the same way. Now, being out of the corps and in school, I understand how hard it is to write about this without diluting the experience with funny stories about the guys or dialing down the worst parts even though I know it doesn’t help anyone to do so. Thanks for this.
*salute*
Best ever. Thank you, thank you, and thank you again. And yes, please finish that book.
Thanks for this. I don’t really know what else to say.
Happy belated 234th Caveman. Great read, lofty read.
Thanks for servicing Caveman. We really do appreciate what you want though in service to our country. Thanks to everyone else serving too.
From a long line of Marines, I say thanks, Uff. Semper Fi.
I’m late to the party here, but had to chime in on the chorus. Thank you for sharing, Matt, and thanks to you and all other veterans for your service and sacrifice on our behalf.
Well done Matt. Thanks again for sharing a little bit of what it was like to be at war with all the thoughts that were going through your head. If it wasn’t for brave men (and women) like you we wouldn’t be able to do what we do on a daily basis. I think we sometime take that for granted but it’s good to be reminded about where our freedoms come from.
When the book is finished I’ll be sure to get one.
Plus, IMHO and ignorant opinion, I thought your speech was spot-on. Isn’t that what your guys wanted to hear? Not some blood-and-guts rah-rah-rah bullshit.
Agreed. On the spectrum of “Generation Kill,” that was a whole lot more Sgt. Iceman, and none of Capt. America.
Damn Matt. Thanks for your service.
I am sitting here trying to decide which would take more balls: To do what you wrote about in that passage, or to share it. I am not a vet but it seems like both would be pretty fucking hard.
Well done Ufford.
ill never understand war
From an inactive nonrate to an inactive zero… (Once a Marine, always a Marine)
Semper Fi, Matt.
As a Cold Warrior, I’m glad I didn’t face combat. I’m also proud of the quality of men and women who are serving now.
Just remember that Lance Coolies are the backbone of the Corps…
TOW Plt, HQ Co 3rd Marines, 85-89.
—Jeff
thanks for your service and for talking about it, i thought your speech was great. much better than my lt gave about kicking butt and god on our side, we figured he was nuts and would get us all killed.
I would be so pissed off if I was you and found out there actually wasn’t a just cause for risking all those lives.
Thank you for your service and thank you for sharing your experience.
Inspiring. Thank you.
This was an incredibly moving piece of writing about something I may never be able to truly understand. Thank you both for your service and for sharing the harder parts of it with us. Neither could have been easy.
Hope you enjoyed your day off; you deserved it.
Another voice adding his thanks to you for your great service.
If anyone needs an uplift: Dogs welcoming back their soldiers – http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/40324
Thank you for your service, sir. You and all who serve are the gold standard and are really the only righteous ones left in this country.
I read these words and I feel like utter fucking shit that I never served and was never there for my country or a band of brothers like yours. When I was young enough and still healthy, I was a raging hippie liberal who could talk crap for hours about “human needs” and “corporate military subversion of the democratic process.” Democratic, in that sense, meaning “ganging up to demand more government money.”
When I was old enough to realize I’d spent my life on bullshit, my feet were shot (chronic plantar fascitis, unresponsive to treatment), my knees were shot, and I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder (I eat xanax like candy.) So I missed the boat there.
I know combat isn’t “fun”, glorious, or ennobling. My cousin Dickie came home from Vietnam more than a little nuts, and my father-in-law died from Parkinson’s disease that he got breathing in Agent Orange there.
But when you get to be a certain age, dying in bed of old age doesn’t sound that great either. I hope you value that time and the brotherhood you got to share.
Thank all of you that have served. Thank you for sharing.
you sir are a brave man.I have always wondered how I would react in a situation knowing that I was going into battle in a few hours. I would like to think I would have handled it the way you did brother
Just discovered this site a few weeks ago and visit it frequently. I just got back from Iraq but thanks to guys like you, probably didn’t have the life-or-death experience you did. Great read. Keep up the awesome job here.
Glad you made it back and thank you for your service. It makes me woozy to put myself in that situation.
long time reader/lurker, first time poster, but i have to give thanks to you and every armed forces member there has been, and this was a great write up…thank you for everything
“I don’t want to be thanked for what I did; I just want to be normal. I want my command of a tank company at age 25 to count as much as running an 80-person department when people look at my resume. I want employers to treat veterans like people with exceptional job experience, not as otherworldly beings who insanely took a different path. I don’t deserve pity or awe, and I don’t want one day of reverence followed by 364 days of nonchalance. I don’t want yellow ribbons on cars. I want every person to challenge himself or herself, to pursue a life they deem honorable, to make the most of the few short years they have on this planet. Those who have been to war know that it can reveal the worst of humanity. Strive to make it better.” –Ufford
Had to put it here as well to make sure everybody got a chance to see it, because that’s the realest shit you ever wrote.
Fantastic work, Matt!
I will be first in the pre-order line for the book.
Thank you and all vets for your service.
Thanks for all that you’ve done, Matt. Thanks to all the veterans that risked or lost their life to protect all of us back home.
@Vikings 7-1 Blackout
Go fuck yourself, faggot. Learn something about history.
Caveman, thank you for everything you did for us.
..can I have your gloves?
I’m with everyone else here. Although I personally have never served I do have connections to those who have served and come back home and some others that were not as fortunate. An account like this pulls at the emotional strings of everyone and really makes you realize how much the people who serve our country mean to everything we do. Christ I’m bawling like a little bitch as I type this but yknow what.. fuck it.
Thank you for everything you have done for the people of this nation Matt as well as the other servicemen that have posted in the comments.
The United States Armed Forces: 1-4 since World War II.
Semper Fi devil
Like others I’m a long-time reader but rarely comment, but just wanted to echo everyone’s sentiments and say thanks Matt for all you and your fellow soldiers have done for us. My best friend just finished his 2nd tour and he’s coming into town in late November, and I couldn’t be more excited to see him home and safe. You guys rock
As a 23 year career/lifer (82-05), your words brought back millions of memories Thanks for your service, and please put me down for a copy of the book when you finish it.
Thanks so much for serving. My grandfather was a Sherman gunner – and he never talked much about the war at all. Thanks for sharing your own story, it’s a very brave thing to do.
Thank you for your service to our country Matt.
As another long time lurker/never commenter, and a senior at Sarah Lawrence (also in writing), I’ll just add to the comments here. Powerful, powerful stuff, and pretty heartrending as well. Thanks for your service.
My grandfather landed on Normandy at D-Day. He never talked about anything in the war until just the last few years – now he talks a lot, and it makes you wonder how the hell he ever came back as a functioning human being, after the things he saw and did. Incredible, amazing stuff. My dad was the CO of the first air medivac unit that crossed into Iraq during the first Gulf War. He never talks about it, either, although I think that it has as much to do with the “chicken shoot” aspect of that won. An horrific bloodbath, just not of us. I think if you can put into words your experiences it would be incredibly valuable for those of us who have no real concept of what you go through in these situations. Anyway.
Plus, IMHO and ignorant opinion, I thought your speech was spot-on. Isn’t that what your guys wanted to hear? Not some blood-and-guts rah-rah-rah bullshit.
Matt,
Thank you for the post. Thank you for serving. Thank you to all the other commenters and their families too.
But Matt, I hope you find some way to finish that memoir. You have a talent and an outlet (or means to get an outlet one way or another) to show people how scared you were, but how you overcame it. And it might be a way for other veterans who don’t have the resources or abilities that you have to… come to terms with what they’ve seen or adjusting to normal life.
I’m sure you’ve probably heard that a few times today, but maybe you haven’t.
Thank you again Matt.
Thanks CC. You wrote this so we can see it, feel it, be scared of it. I add my request to the rest: finish up that book.
To everyone reading this post that has served (or is about to go fix a B-1 as we speak), thank you. Thank you for letting me live my life, and worry my mundane worries.
My Dad graduated early to join up at the end of WWII (the Big One). He spent his time in the Caribbean, He would go into Key West with $1, and come back aboard ship with 50 cents, and drunk off his butt. His stories were of the drudgery of long shifts patrolling and some stories of the things they did to have fun.
I have an uncle that served in Vietnam that we know was never the same after. I hope the returning soldiers today don’t go through what his generation of returning soldiers did.
Thank you for your service. And for sharing. Both take more guts than I’ll ever have.
As a man who fully admits that he is too chickenshit pansy-assed to ever have even THOUGHT about joining the military…thank you, not only to Matt, but to all the commentators who have chimed in about their service. I may doubt the wisdom of your superiors, but I’ll never doubt your bravery. Thank you.
Today, of all days, dig out the card…
http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/
That made me miss the States more than the sexing I anticipate upon my return, and even slightly more than the Hines Wald posts (rearry funny)…God bless you and all of America’s finest.
/Beats down gypsy for Budweiser
//chain smokes Lucky Strikes
Thanks for your service Matt.
Another long-time first time. Matt, thank you so much for your service. If fate had twisted slightly differently I might have been over there with you, rather than a socal ne’er do well. Finish the memoir. I’d buy it in a second.
“And that sandwich was the then-new Hamburger Patty MRE. You have no idea how hard it was to get your hands on one of those when they first introduced them. It had barbecue sauce AND cheese spread!”
I’m more of a fan of the chicken and salsa MRE myself. JALAPENO cheese spread is in that bitch! As someone with two grandfathers who served in WW2 (one army, one marine), 3 cousins who served/still serving/about to ship out, and myself still serving (and about to work a 12 hour shift fixing B-1 bombers on Veterans day…not bitter at all about that!), thanks for your service, Matt.
/Longest run on sentence ever?
//Longest run on sentence ever.
Appreciate all you put out there for us, Matt.
Thank you from me and my family.
Sir –
from one tanker to another, I remembered every last memory you went through like I was right there… Finding the ability to overcome your fear, trusting in you and your fellow platoon-mate’s skills, and knowing that every last man has each others back no matter how gruesome it gets is a lesson everyone can learn in life.
thank you for your service
Great work. Hope you’re the next KSK writer to get a book published.
Sir,
Another reason you should finish the memoir is to maybe help future officers. I’m an ROTC cadet, and I hope I’ll never have to give that kind of speech, but I want to be ready if I do.
*salute*
Wow, just wow…. Thanks Uff
Matt,
I’m a now a very old O-5 and I remember my first combat sortie like it was yesterday. It was Operation Just (be)Cause, the invasion of Panama in 1989. I was a new LT just out of flight school and one of my first missions was a combat run into Panama City.
I’m glad it happened first when I was so young. I was too stupid to know what all could kill me and young enough to think I was bullet-proof. Never a good combo. Sad thing was we had no ‘old salts’ in those days. The last shooting war the military was in had ended 16 years earlier. All the Vietnam vets were retired or very senior.
I tell that old story sometimes to new kids, but they don’t need much pep talking. Think about this and feel very old: The guys/girls just pinning on O-4 entered the military in 2001. They have never known a military that was NOT at war. It’s all they know and they are very, very good at it.
thanks so much to you and your fellow soldiers for all you’ve done to keep us out of harm’s way. you are a true hero, and a damn good writer to boot! bravo.
…and work on that 8 minute fran time.
well done. and thanks for the smoke on the far side of the river near Numiniyah at the intersection.
Thank you Matt, and to all of our brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers who serve our country without complaint. You are the reason we are still free, and that can never be repaid, just remembered.
From one Marine officer to another, thanks bro.
Thanks Matt, to you and to all the other men and women who are serving/have served. I will always be in awe of the courage that you guys have.
You’re a heck of a guy in my book. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE
Seriously, finish that book. This is some outstanding writing. I guess I haven’t read as many military related books as you may have but this section was pretty gripping. Thanks.
Guarantee that it outsells those shitty hardcovers Drew and Mike put out.
I was in Raleigh, NC a couple of weeks ago, and a bunch of Marines were on my flight to Dallas (they were headed to 29 Palms). We shot the shit and I told them a few stories from the first go round in Iraq. They were funny as hell, and motivated to go do their job, but I was struck by their youth. It seemed like they weren’t old enough to drive a car, much less a tank. I enlisted at 17, but never saw myself as a kid until I looked back at some of the pictures of me a few years ago. Your life is never more in front of you than when you’re 18, never more full of hope and promise, and that is the age when these young men are putting it on the line for all of us.
Please finish the book, Matt.
Thanks for the gut-wrenchingly good read, Matt. And thank you to you and all the men and women who serve our country.
Also, I’m trying to figure out why every other photo I see of a Marine in war-time, they are pointing their index finger at something. And I think it’s because they’re fingers are more comfortable that way, as that’s generally how its positioned when they are holding a M-16.
Finally, is every platoon issued at least one “Lopez” as SOP?
Great read CC
As an AF vet, I was never exposed to the horror that you guys went through. However I had a number of friends there and as a C-5 mechanic I can tell you we did our damndest to make sure the supplies in our birds got to you as soon as possible. It was an honor working on every single plane coming through on it’s way downrange, and I would do it again in a heartbeat without pay if I had to, knowing that the lives of the soldiers may depend on our cargo.
Well done, sir. You should keep foraging ahead with that memoir. I’m currently reading “Shadow of the Sword” right now, which is ghost-written, and I enjoyed your passage above more than I’m enjoying this book.
On that same note, I’m pretty sure tankers are smarter though. The Marines I was in charge of (thank god only 7) were dumber than shit. Too stupid to be scared. Which in turn, only made me even more scared. God I hated the Marines.
I hope that book gets finished. Or at least, that this article finds its way to a lit magazine.
One thing- how did this reading go over? If you didn’t get a book deal, I hope you at least got some free drinks and tail.
My experience with the tankers, was that they sat on the overpasses while us infantry toured the country on foot. I would have much rather slept on a tank at 25% watch.
That being said, I think they did save us once.
Thank you. Excellent read, too.
CC – I hope you finish that book someday. I can’t wait to read it.
Uff is enjoying a well-deserved day off. Where the hell is the rest of the Gay Mafia with the dick jokes? Get your asses in gear, it’s already mid-afternoon!