Laura here is in her first season with the Cincinnati Ben-Gals cheerleading team. At 41, she is also the oldest cheerleader in the league. Admirably, she has refused to let age stand in the way of her desperate, desperate need for attention. Sorry, that’s a really mean joke; actually I think it’s kind of cool to have a cheerleader who is old enough to have given a hanj to Ickey Woods at Riverfront Stadium. [ KyPost via Deuce of Davenport ]
Jeremy Shockey thinks there’s no way LeBron James could even make an NFL practice squad. So shut up before he punches you in your fag mouth.
The league admits officials mistakenly gave the Browns four timeouts in the second half Monday; thus giving Eric Mangini an extra two minutes to blink in silent terror on the sidelines. [ PFT ]
The NYT’s Freakonomics blog discusses the decade’s most overblown fears. Number one in the NFL? Mike Martz’s coaching prowess.
The Bills’ hometown newspaper reports that interim coach Perry Fewell has benched quarterback Trent Edwards in favor of Ryan Fitzpatrick. If you have Edwards on your fantasy team you should go ahead and make a roster adjustment… and then never play again for the rest of your life.
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And Shockey, I’d start Lebron over you at TE any day of the week.
I’ve seen that cheerleader up close at Bengals games, and my lord is she ever ugly. Bangin’ bod, but, they must have taken about 100,000 pics, and found the one that made her resemble a human.
Too tan? Only pasty Irish people say that about a nice healthy glow.
That’s what I like about cheerleaders, I keep gettin’ older, and they stay….uh, never mind.
“Teen Oral Sex Epidemic” – I think I’ve found my next band name.
As for the Bengal Cougar, I’d fuck the asshole right out of that. (Lee Corso IS in there, right?)
/clicks need for attention link
//link brings me to Bengals website and not NSFW material
Oh well… I can still fap to this.
I’d brag about hittin’ that.
Off topic, it’s nice to see that Drew will enjoy cheering for an NFL team headed by Brad Childress until the year 2013. That’s right baby: CONTRACT EXTENSION! Another reason for him to hate Farve…
I “salute” her.
If her abs aren’t Photoshopped, I covet them. But she’s too tan.
White women: embrace your caucasianness. Too much tanning makes you look like beef jerky.
Other than that, she kinda puts most 20-somethings to shame. I salute her; an actual salute, not “salute” like you pervs are thinking).
I feel like the NFL should start handicapping games at some point. Like, once you’re eliminated from playoff contention, you get 4 timeouts, 4 challenges, and 5 downs.
I say just go ahead and give the Browns four timeouts a game. Shit, give ‘em five downs while you’re at it- they’d still find new and interesting ways to lose.
Who exactly feared the “Teen Oral Sex Epidemic”?
Bubby,
You take that back about the Philly cheerleaders.
“Teen Oral Sex Epidemic” is an Overblown Fear… (hee hee)
Where my mailbag???
Second Nate Newton’s Van. Is Cinncinati too poor for photoshop? How am I suppose to masterbate with arms that have bigger veins than a muscular black guy?
@Mo Charlo: I think “Teen Oral Sex Epidemic” is pretty self-explanatory. It’s the new 2nd base.
Those cheerleader tops are awfuly deceptive. Lots of push and lift. Still fake and rock hard, of course.
@UU: Damn you, that’s what else I forgot to say. Ah, good old Caddyshack.
Did last week’s Fantasy/Sex Mailbag freak you guys out enough that you needed to take a break or something? I mean, a guy got bro-raped. That’s some heavy stuff. If you need some time, we understand.
/sits down, puts on understanding/not-judging face
Look at those abs!! Fuck being 41 or having gross rock-hard fake tits. She’s got awesome legs and a washboard stomach. I’d rather bless her with my comical attempts at lovemaking than one of those 20 year old Philly cheerleaders with muffin tops and love handles. Put down the cheesesteaks and do some crunches like Laura!
Damn, I clicked on the “need for attention” link hoping for some NSFW action, but all I got was the offical Bengals’ site.
/Vomits a little
I think I saw Teen Oral Sex Epidemic on the VANS/Warped tour. They sucked, but were still better than Fall Out Boy.
re: the overblown fears list.
What in the world was the “Teen Oral Sex Epidemic?” Huh? Somebody please explain this to me?!?! Did I completely miss a 6-month period of nothing but pre-pubescent boppers running around? Is it going on now? If so, does anybody have an application to work part time at a movie theater?
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it!
flubby, nice work using a classic line from “Caddyshack” in the title of this post.
I do believe she knows the schedule for the Bang Bus.
The best part of ol Laura up there is that she’s been a Ben-Gal for one whole season. That means either the ‘Nati couldn’t find any 20-somethings to make the final cut IN THEIR ENTIRE CITY or Laura went down on the head cheerleader in some nice lesbian action to get the job.
I’d like to believe the latter thank you very much.
Those arms! My eyes!
Holey Moses! I’d bop that til my cock fell off.
What – the Rock of Love tryouts didn’t make it to Cincy?
Perry Fewell? So the Bills hired the guy from Jane’s Addiction? I’ll bet he couldn’t come up with a trick play for shit, after having been caught stealing.
She strips naked in front of Marvin Lewis put he doesn’t have sex with her unless his players can convince him to go for it.
She could be somebody’s grandmother or GILF.
I’ll bet that “Ben-Gal” knows her way around the ‘ole crankshaft. Chicks like that bring their own knee-pads for sleepovers.
And @myself: refresh before posting :/
@UU: Check yo tags.
@UU: I’m gonna go with intentional, and I love it. That is what I like to call “attention to detail”.
never mind, just read the tags.
I’d knock the dust off that.
I’m in the mood for some roast beef.
flubby, was linking that the Bills item to a Toronto newspaper an intentional or unintentional cheap shot?
I would totally smash that tattered old cooter.
She might be 41, but those tits are only 3.
4. Immigrants
Here in California, our greatest fear is that they take our immigrants away.
I never knew the Icky Shuffle was a 2 person dance. Guess you learn something new every day.