Kris Brown Was Clearly Shaken By Rob Bironas’ Gunfingaz
At least there was some entertaining kicker fail at the end. Kris Brown will make sure the Texans finish 8-8 again if it’s the last thing he does in the NFL. Then there was the wondrous mixed metaphor by Jon Gruden, who said Vince Young “found his wheels and got on his horse.” Unless he’s referring to heroin that makes no sense. All told, not the worst game ever. Could have done without that Slaton touchdown though.
Tags: gunfingaz, No one cares about the Texans, PEW PEW PEW, Vince Young, xmas ape
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November 24th, 2009 at 12:01 am
Kris Brown needs to be fired.
But I laughed at “PEW PEW PEW.”
November 24th, 2009 at 12:03 am
Perhaps he was referring to Senator Mendoza’s most diabolical creation yet: Swank.
November 24th, 2009 at 12:05 am
ten times as addictive as marajuana
November 24th, 2009 at 12:16 am
Gangsta as FUCK.
November 24th, 2009 at 12:20 am
Jon Gruden has amazed me for years. Lifelong Steeler fan, and (almost) lifelong resident of the Tampa Bay area (and not at all a Bucs fan). When the Bucs won the Superbowl, the wife comes home with the Official DVD. In the “Behind the Scenes” segment, it was revealed that the Head Coaches motivational slogan was “Pound The Rock”.
He apparently chanted it over and over throughout the season and that was the sum total of his leadership. By the time you watched the video of him doing the chant at the Superbowl, it was apparent that most of the team was completely appalled by it.
Listening to Gruden on MNF is painful and he makes me want to penetrate my ears with sharp objects.
/Hates listening to Jon Gruden
//Jon Gruden makes Jaws sound like a learned scholar
///Notre Dame deserves all the Jon Gruden they can afford
November 24th, 2009 at 12:22 am
kris brown will go home and hang himself tonight but he needs someone to kick the chair out from under obviously since he cant fucking kick for shit… any takers???
November 24th, 2009 at 12:23 am
Your hatred for Gruden is nothing in comparison to the hatred that the rest of the country feels for douchebag frontrunning hillbilly Steelers fans.
November 24th, 2009 at 12:28 am
jaws, gruden > steelers nation, terrible towel.
not that i approve of anything there except for jaws QB career.
November 24th, 2009 at 12:28 am
Is it really frontrunning if he cops to being a Steelers fan a day after they lost to the Chiefs?
November 24th, 2009 at 12:33 am
Yes, because it’s only been 250+ days since they won the Super Bowl.
November 24th, 2009 at 12:42 am
http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d8146fc3f&template=with-video-with-comments&confirm=true
Mangini is such a whiny bitch – “The Lions faked those injuries!”
November 24th, 2009 at 12:49 am
Vince Young “found his wheels and got on his horse.”
That’s a pretty apt metaphor, though I would have said Vince Young “dug deep and climbed to the top of the mountain.”
November 24th, 2009 at 12:52 am
You are patently unfamiliar with the contemporary social mores of the nouveau bourgeois. Contemptible.
http://i45.tinypic.com/168×4xx.jpg
November 24th, 2009 at 1:29 am
Vince Young had to break a few eggs but he still made a Denny’s quality omelet. Lots of nice mis-direction, along with some …
You know what? Kid played good tonight.
Good!
Vince “swallowed his pride and inhaled the engorged sausage of victory!”
/Just something we’re kicking around, Vince. It’s not the real tag-line or anything. Just wanted to run it by you.
//Thanks for the 3-1 Vegas parlay.
///5 dollah bills, y’all
I guess I need to make a walk up to the cashier.
Have you ever tried to find your way back to your room in the casino on the first night you are there? Really. You have never set foot in this labyrinth and now after your complimentary triple martini and tour of the card room you are set free?
I lasted about 2 hours at one of the middle-pubs inside of the (I’m gonna redact myself on general fucking principals) bar.
I have a locked in ticket from the Stratosphere sportsbook made on 2-15-09 with the Vikings to win Superbowl 44. 40 dollars at 20-1.
If we even get there I am making the trip because I need to.
Fuck it. There are worse places to be in February than Las Vegas.
I’ll shut up, Drew and Gino but have you seen…
/redacted
November 24th, 2009 at 1:59 am
I feel bad for the Texans. They’re a good kicker away from being in the playoffs.
November 24th, 2009 at 2:59 am
That was semi-Bud Adamsesque.
November 24th, 2009 at 3:09 am
Also enjoyed Gruden’s dubbing of the left side of TEN’s O-line as “the law firm of Scott, Stewart and Mawae, who pass block and run block as good as any”.
You know, to an average reader/NFL viewer, it probably seems like you just nit-pick and bitch about everything, but I say nay, it’s your overwhelming attention to detail that makes you great.
November 24th, 2009 at 5:15 am
the law firm of Scott, Stewart and Mawae
That fucking killed me: “THOSE GUYS, they’re like a LAW FIRM” really Jon? In what way exactly? Is it that they all have surnames? Because you’re right, that is pretty fucking lawyerly.
November 24th, 2009 at 8:30 am
And that’s now TWO divisional games Kris Brown has cost the Texans. BTW, super excited for the Colts to lock up another AFC South title on Sunday. Three more wins and we have the longest consecutive win streak in NFL history. BOOYAH.
November 24th, 2009 at 8:47 am
I feel bad for the Texans.
That’s OK. No one’s noticing in that state with the Cowboys playing with both hands tied behind their backs.
And I need to be represented by Scott, Stewart and Mawae!
November 24th, 2009 at 9:13 am
Gruden is like a “good bad movie”, you know it sucks yet it provides a few hours of entertainment. THIS GUY!
And once again Monkey Business brings up the Colts in a post that has nothing to do with them.
November 24th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Remember when they won the Superbowl in the middle of that streak? I sure as shit don’t, so someone fill me in on why that even remotely matters.
November 24th, 2009 at 9:31 am
He’s just a FOOTBALL PLAYER. PLAYING FOOTBALL!
/Gruden’d
November 24th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Kris Brown couldn’t hit Rhianna if she were in between the uprights
November 24th, 2009 at 10:07 am
It’s like Colts fans refuse to learn that no one gives a fuck about regular season success if you’ve lost your first playoff game each of the last two seasons. Please, oh please, make it three straight.
November 24th, 2009 at 10:27 am
I keep Kris Brown as my fantasy kicker year after year because my league’s commish is a Steeler fan and Brown used to fuck them on a regular basis. Dude hates Kris Brown.
November 24th, 2009 at 10:34 am
During warmups
Jon Gruden: I’m not a chemist, but I expect to see a lot of explosions on this field tonight!
November 24th, 2009 at 11:05 am
It’s like Colts fans refuse to learn that no one gives a fuck about regular season success if you’ve lost your first playoff game each of the last two seasons. Please, oh please, make it three straight.
Or would it just be sweeter if they pulled an 18-1?
November 24th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Or would it just be sweeter if they pulled an 18-1 and lost to little bro Eli?
/fixed
November 24th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Kris Brown couldn’t hit Rhianna if she were in between the uprights
But he might get away with it, if he were represented in court by a Tennessee lineman.
November 24th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Is it too soon to call Chris Johnson the best RB in the NFL…and I really don’t even think it’s close
November 24th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
lol @ referring to heroin. Niice.
November 25th, 2009 at 1:52 am
Vince Young throws for 116 yards and you would’ve thought he was the second coming of Marino. I hate to channel my inner Rush Limbaugh, but Ryan of Atlanta throws for twice that much and gets killed in the local press. I dunno. Just seems like we want to pat Vince on the back for completing a 10 yard slant.
November 27th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Got nothing on Alberto Contador
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wb8bAl1P-N0/Sm0PBRZNAxI/AAAAAAAAI5Y/zNt4orMqBGM/s400/fingerbang-1.jpg