Joey Porter’s Day Off: Your 1 PM Open Thread For Week 10
Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter has been benched against the Buccaneers this week. Apparently running one’s mouth against the Patriots will earn you a vacation against the next scrub team on the schedule. Which is almost interesting…
Tampa Bay beat the Packers last week, an NFC North team that was playing good ball before getting swept up by the Favre Frenzy, and then getting swept. But the weather seems to be terrific today, Joey. Surely you could get a quick nine holes in before kickoff. Scores. Maps.
Tags: open threads
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November 15th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
I GET NO RESPECT!
November 15th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
FIX YO GOLF CARTS TO DRIV BY DEMSELFS
November 15th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
fucking mark sanchez. Terrible start for my pussymonglers.
November 15th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Another great defensive effort by Jeff Reed!
November 15th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Hochuli’s guns have some massive flab under them. It does not look pretty.
November 15th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Silky and MJD sighting. Really.
November 15th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
hehehehe BLITZ by Lions on Favre. Offensive holding too!
November 15th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Another great defensive effort by Jeff Reed!
Seriously. Sack up, you little douchebag.
November 15th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Reed has put on some lb’s the last few years.
November 15th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Drinking will do that.
November 15th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
I Redskins secondary is clearly scared to fucking death of getting SuperAIDS from Brandon Marshall. They won’t go withing 10 yards of the guy for fear of infection.
November 15th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
the redskins’ secondary makes me want to drive a letter opener into my ear.
November 15th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
YOU DON’T PUT YOUR NAME ON THE FRONT OF YOUR GOLF CART?
THATS DISRESPECT!!
November 15th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Silky smooth touchdown pass.
November 15th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Yes the yardage counts. 43 yds.
November 15th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
I think most of the time you still get the yards.
November 15th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Man, this is quiet today. At least the Pitt game is good, it’s not like a couple of weeks ago…
Miami just got 7 out of a bogus, shitty ass call (well, the fumble. The offense got 7 legit), and this is coming from a Dolphins fan. I hate stupid officiating.
November 15th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
The CBS game announcers and halftime crew have a serious case of the Emmitt Smiffs. I counted about 8 mistakes saying all these craaazy ethnic names during the game, and Cowher just said something about the Los Angeles Rams.
November 15th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
NFL.com has Purple Jesus’ stat line: 12 Carries, 100 yd., 1 TD, long(est run) 43.
WHEEEEEE!!
/shoots self
November 15th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Breaking News: This just in, it’s about 30 degrees in hell this afternoon, and pig farmers have reported that their livestock has flown away. Also, New Orleans is tied with St. Louis at halftime… Wait, what? I call bullshit.
November 15th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Dan Marino just said the Dolphins are “finishing shit off” off live tv. HE SWEARS LIKE I SWEAR!
November 15th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
That was a very manly kickoff return by a very unmanly name of Courtney Roby.
November 15th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Why did Michael Turner have to rush for over 100 yards BEFORE he gets an ankle injury?
November 15th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
A jackass in one of my Leagues sent me this text after Graham missed that 51 yd FG in the CIN PIT game: ‘fukn graham! he gonna lose week 4 me!’
my reply (Without the parenthesis): ‘No, A. Smith (QB SF), V. Davis (TE SF), AND the Bears defense that YOU started fucked your week, idiot!’
/feels smug
November 15th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
anyone else’s only good fantasy team getting torched by lee fucking evans and kim kardashians bitch? also i’m a lions fan. fuck my life.
November 15th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Why is The Spleen in the game? Where is Neckbeard? My suicide pick is riding on this!
November 15th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Morel:
November 15th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
The Saints Defense is about as responsive as Terri Schiavo.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Sorry, the link got eaten.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
3 turnovers and a punt in the last 2 minutes of the Jets game. Score you fuckers! I’m starting 3 of you today! Though Cotchery and Keller already passed their projections, so its all good. Move it Thomas Jones!
November 15th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Is Colston not playing?
November 15th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
@Ace
Thanks. I’m at work and the IT nazis block video though… so was it bad? Will a Jack Daniels IV have him back on the firld soon?
November 15th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
@coffeetalk: Also, apparently Brees went all Freaky Friday with Eli during the Giants’ bye week.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Stafford just got speared right in the head by a flying defender. Insane
November 15th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
It looked unpleasant, but he walked away from it alright. I guess he’ll be fine once he gets a few drinks in him.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Colston has 1 catch 8 yds.
Wait, was that a joke question?
/easily confused
//quasi-drunkish
November 15th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Marquis Colston is looking more like Reggie Bush in this game than Reggie Bush is.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
@ drich
Jared Allen can FLY! Fuck………….
November 15th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
I remember when flying hits like that were considered great plays, infact, they contribute to 90% of NFL Films clips….
November 15th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Lmao……..the spleen.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Jared Allen can also climb a tree and kill you with a big ass spear! True story!
November 15th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
I do not want a big Jared Allen “ass spear”, not even while in a tree. Thank you though.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Chris simms’s jersey should read “spleen 86″
November 15th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
The Saints have found ways to outsuck the Rams all day and the Rams are still losing. Now THAT’S a shitty team.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Sorry for the mental image. Should have been ‘…big-assed spear!’. Yes? No.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Denver’s vaunted secondary is making Jason Campbell look like….. Not Jason Campbell.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
bless jc’s heart. he needs some positivity in his life.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oibNvAbtpc
Here’s the JA spearage vid.
/sorry for the linkfail in advance
November 15th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
also, deangelo hall is a bojangling cunt.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Snyder has banned positivity at FedEx
November 15th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
touche. what I wouldn’t give to shoot down snyder’s helicopter over texas stadium.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
With one of those moon bombs that NASA has. Just to be sure.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
FUCK YOU HAYNESWORTH GET UP!
November 15th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Helloooo Dolphins cheerlead…HEY FOX!!! MOVE THE FUCKING AD GRAPHICS!!!
November 15th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
That bastard Shonn Greene is about to poach my T-Jones TD.
/Curse the man that started RB committees.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Broncos Collapse Watch ‘09 begins.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Denver should give Tom Brandstater a chance… gotta be better than The Spleen.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
And so, my Broncos continue their spiral into oblivion. THESE ARE THE FUCKING REDSKINS YOU FUCKS.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
This is the worst tackling I’ve ever seen by the Broncos. And I watched 2007.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Holy shit, the Broncos still lose steam at midseason…even a hater like me thought they had turned the corner. Not good.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
And now, for a chance at glory, I need Chris Simms to march down the field for a game tying touchdown.
God fucking dammit all.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
As a Bucs fan I would like to tell you to start shoving Sun Chips up your asshole now… it will be more enjoyable than anything Chris Simms has to offer you.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
I want to go kill something right now. I understand he’s our backup, but damn Simms is awful. He can’t throw at all, and because of that, we are about to go on a 10 game losing streak. He had Marshall wide open on 4th and 10 AND OVERTHREW IT FUCK YOU SHITFUCKER ASSHAT.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
MJD pulls a Westbrook and takes a knee at the 1. Fantasy owners everywhere go nuts.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Omar Epps looks fly in them sunglasses.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Well, times like these are when fantasy football saves my day. If it weren’t for me winning by a lot this week, I would go kill Simms. Honestly, after those throws, why not throw Brandstatatatatater out there?
November 15th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
mjd you asshole, as a jets fan an mjd td would’ve given the jets an actual chance to come back, and as an MJD fantasy owner would’ve given me another 6 pts. but no, he has to be a dick and fuck me over twice. i hate players that actually understand the game.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Screw you, Percy Harvin. For some reason, I thought you would be better than Sidney Rice this week and now I look like a fucking idiot.
Also, congrats to the Broncos fans on your team becoming the New York Mets of the NFL.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
P. Harvin (RB MIN) is now Purple Disciple!
November 15th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Will Rex finally snap and kill Poon Tango this week?
November 15th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
I almost feel like the Saints took the week off instead of prepping for the Rams. Like Shockey and Reggie went out partying and Drew decided to not look at film all week long.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
On one hand, I’m happy for the Cincy fans. On the other hand, I started Ward, Mendenhall, and the Pittsburgh defense this week. The lesson is fuck fantasy football.
November 15th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
RBP: That, or one of them’s gettin’ a huge payout tonight.
November 15th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Oh my God the Redskins did not suck ass today.
Thank god for Chris Simms having the QB skill of my dog.
November 15th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Strangely, it’s Sunday and I’m feeling no pain…oh, that’s right. My Giants have a bye and are therefore not losing this week.
November 15th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
dude calling the vikes game:
“Stafford doesn’t have the weapons Favre has. He does have… a talented Johnson…”
hehe.
November 15th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Does anyone else still think it sounds weird when sports journalists use the words “Marvin Lewis” and “good coach” in the same sentence?
November 15th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Bulger is a fucking moron…JESUS
November 15th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
That, or one of them’s gettin’ a huge payout tonight.
Too many injuries on D.
And that ending was too close to feel good.
Still 9-0.
November 15th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
S. Rice (WR MIN) on sideline: pushuppushuppushup
November 15th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Leigh: add in a fantasy win and a Rutgers win, and this is a truly blissful weekend. Though I don’t even want to begin to imagine my levels of disappointment next week.
November 15th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
wow Bulger wow
I’ve seen high school teams run a better 2 minute drill.
November 15th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Did M. Colston (WR NO) end up with NEGATIVE FF points?!? Fuck!
November 15th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
There will be no pussytubing in Jets country. In fact seems like with 6 days off on their bye they did little else.
November 15th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
I remember the last year Simms started for TB. During the training camp before that season Chris Dumbass Mortensen reported on TV he thought something like Simms would be the best QB that year. Simms proceeds to go 0-4 or 0-5, gets numerous passes batted down, and rupture his spleen. Mort should have gotten fired for stupid proclamations like that. I followed Simms in college. He would play great against the crappy teams and stink it up against the top ranked teams. Sorry Denver fans. Hopefully Orton isn’t out too long.