HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

hacksawandyreid

The Eagles and Cowboys meet with NFC East primacy on the line. Just weeks ago, the Iggles lost to the Raiders and the Cowboys had to squeak by the Chiefs. Now suddenly, they’re teams of consequence once more. It’s key for Dallas to build as large a division lead as possible before December sets in and they lose all their games in spectacular fashion. After signs had indicated he would play, Brian Westbrook will instead sit out for a second straight week. Tony Romo, meanwhile, will have to make sure that he stops playing favorites with Miles Austin. C’mon, Tony – just because he’s actually capable of getting open and can communicate with you in your mystical smialect (that’s a dialect for smiles, duh) doesn’t mean you have to ignore Roy Williams.

As we wait for kickoff, here are a few of the standout moments from the first two Sunday timeslots.

1. Via reader Michael from Charlotte come the greatest (and by greatest, we mean the only non-nauseating) split team jersey taxidermy in the history of anything ever.

jetspanthers

2. BUCS WIN! BUCS WIN! CREAMSICLE SHERBET BUCCO BRUCE GAYCATION CELEBRATION! But, hey, since when do the Buccaneers have enough greats for a ring of honor? Shouldn’t it be a carpet sample of honor?

tbhonor

3. Tom Brady acts like a dick for no reason? GET OUT!

4. Tiny Darren is never too small to get blowed up rull good.

5. Via Deadspin – Ocho brought a few singles onto the field in Cincy at the beginning of the 4th quarter against Baltimore, playfully pretending to pay off the refs while they reviewed a sideline catch that he made (it was overturned). Or was he giving the Baltimore secondary some walking around money before half of them get cut after the season? NO, HE WAS DEFINITELY PAYING OFF THE REFS! GET ‘EM, RAVENS CONSPIRACY THEORISTS!

ochocincocash

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86 Responses to “HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

  1. Man Bear Pig Says:

    Maybe Robo-Brady was attempting human camaraderie, but didn’t quite know how to pull off a high-five.

  2. Arctic16 Says:

    Lol at Man Bear Pig.

    Robo Brady: “Must show emotion, dislike other team…zzz..zz…..knee motors failing: referee petition mode activated.”

    15 yard penalty on the Dolphins!

  3. Nate Newton's van Says:

    “Refs and whores.”

    Name two things that can be bought in Ohio for under $5.

  4. BuzZ Says:

    Ok it’s bugging me. Who is the Carolina half of that jersey?

  5. Boatdrinks Says:

    Tony Romo is wearing a gay hat in his interview with Bob Costas. I think I last saw one on one of the Gibb brothers … the bald one.

  6. Boatdrinks Says:

    Oh, and am the only one who wondered what way the Giants or Chargers would unmistake the least and win?

  7. 85 Says:

    @Buzz: Stephen Davis. Not dated much.

  8. Slideshow Bob Says:

    i think that girl is a member of the Pen 15 club

  9. Reggie Bush's Pimp Says:

    The Prince of Persia IS…Jake Gyllenhall?

    Can’t wait for the remake of Ninja Assassin…starring some other white guy.

  10. Cutlerfucker Says:

    Wait, no mention of Tommie Harris getting ejected? This, sir, is an outrage.

    /Packers fan
    /Not as mad or upset as I should be since the Bears got raped
    /Was really annoyed the announcers of the Packers-Bucs game kept bringing up Favre

  11. Nathan Hale Says:

    Next week I’m breaking out my Jeb Putzier/ Matt Shaughnessy combined jersey

  12. Otto Man Says:

    Stephen Davis. Man, I’d forgotten about him.

    Oh, yeah. The fumbles. There he is.

  13. Otto Man Says:

    Oh, sweet, sweet Eagles cheerleaders.

  14. Rob in WI Says:

    Oh, sweet, sweet Eagles cheerleaders.

    I’m assuming Sundays is “A Cup Night” all around Philly strip clubs?

  15. SavetoFavorites Says:

    Bucs Ring of Honor: Hardy Nickerson, John Lynch… and… um… did Lee Roy Selmon have any alter egos?

  16. Rob in WI Says:

    Bucs Ring of Honor: Hardy Nickerson, John Lynch… and… um… did Lee Roy Selmon have any alter egos?

    Don’t forget Mike Alstott. And um… well, that’s the four corners anyway. A good start.

  17. SavetoFavorites Says:

    @ Rob in WI: I was kidding a bit. But once whatever requisite time passes… Sapp, Brooks and anyone else you want from the Dungy/Gruden Ds. Would you go Doug Williams, too? I’d go Doug Williams.

  18. Tomlinson's Pain Tolerance Says:

    Bucs Ring of Honor: Hardy Nickerson, John Lynch… and… um… did Lee Roy Selmon have any alter egos?

    Don’t forget Mike Alstott. And um… well, that’s the four corners anyway. A good start.

    Also, don’t forget about saving a spot on the ring for Warren Sapp’s Gut. That should just about fill up the rest of the ring.

  19. Rob in WI Says:

    I know… I was somewhat playing along, since Alstott was so beloved there.

    Doug Williams goes, then Brad Johnson goes.

    For realz though, Paul Gruber might be next.

  20. SavetoFavorites Says:

    Igwebuike FTW.

  21. IHATETURNER Says:

    A)Would it be possible to but another bounty on Brady we could go with a throwing shoulder this time?

    B)Did any one else have Fox cut away from and apologize for the Bears game. I laughed so hard.

  22. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    Donald Igwebuike is in the International Heroin Ring of Honor.

  23. SavetoFavorites Says:

    If he were so good at moving heroin, he wouldn’t have gotten caught, now, would he?

    Boom– cannon blasted.

  24. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    Igwebuike was caught, but he was also acquitted. That’s what good international heroin smuggling conspirators do.

  25. FirstnationalDank Says:

    Fuck, is desean not playing or something?

  26. SavetoFavorites Says:

    Damn, sir– you ARE correct.

    Cannon backfire!

  27. SavetoFavorites Says:

    Action Jackson’s returning kicks, but Avant seems to be in at flanker for all 2-WR sets. Seems an odd split of duties if they’re trying to rest him because of the leg issues.

  28. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    If Andy Reid is Hacksaw Jim Duggan, who is Wade Phillips? The Honky Tonk Man?

  29. Generic Username Says:

    Several things:

    1. Andy Reid as Hacksaw Jim Duggan is SO full of win.
    2. @ Cutlerfucker – As another Pack fan, I’d be more happy about the Bears getting crucified (see what I did there?) if it weren’t for the fact that I had Warner benched in one of my leagues.
    3. The only thought that went through my head after the Packers/Bucs game was Aaron Rodgers going: “See?! I can throw backbreaking interceptions in inexplicable losses too! Just like Brett! Now don’t you love me?! DON’T YOU LOVE ME??!!” *breaks down into tears, cuts self while listening to The Cure*

  30. yeah, right? Says:

    Gino? He’s the man.

    Bye week. Packers lose? Check. Bears lose? Check. Lions? Who gives a fuck?
    I swear the bye week is the best week of the year.

    SKOL!

    I think I’m getting webbing between my fingers. I can be a hell of a short stop. The ceiling was not that color when I got here,

  31. Otto Man Says:

    What kind of pills did you take, yr? Were they orange? Were they barrel-shaped?

  32. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    @ yeah, right

    You drank the Vikings Purple Kool Aid, didn’t you?

    A stress-free bye week (coming off a big win against the Packers) combined with Packers’, Bears’ and Lions’ losses and your favorite intoxicants makes a sweet, sweet Sunday.

    SKOL VIKINGS!

  33. Tim Tebow's Girlfriend's Tits Says:

    If one more whiny Packers fan pins this loss or last week’s loss I am honestly going to go up to Wisconsin and banf a fat chick. You do understand that your defense, special teams, and offensive line are shitty, right?

  34. Tim Tebow's Girlfriend's Tits Says:

    *That would be, pins this or last week’s loss on Rodgers

  35. obit_rice Says:

    the only redeeming quality about the Philadelphia Eagles franchise is the cheerleaders and the person who hires said cheerleaders. Full of fucking win.

    /Cowboys fan
    /fuck Philadelphia
    /can cheerleaders be free agents? get double j on the phone!

  36. Hef Says:

    Could we clarify how Tom Brady is acting like a dick in that video? For those of us who don’t hate him, that is.

  37. Mathemagician Says:

    That penalty on the return redacted Andy Reid’s O-Face

  38. Rob in WI Says:

    @TTGT

    This week is the fault of the Special Teams, then the Defense, then the oLine. But then Rodgers.

    It’s been a while since I’ve seen a QB with happy feet like that. And unable to throw the ball away.

    But he’s a distant 4th on the list.

  39. Paul God Says:

    Mike McCarthy during the postgame presser said he practiced his team too hard this week. Is that the worst excuse ever? My buddy called me up on his way home from a bar, and I couldn’t understand him because he was sputtering so hard.

    He’s now hoping for a total collapse (if it hasn’t happened already) so Thompson and McCarthy can get their walking papers.

    I love to see the Packer fans squirm.

  40. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    What kind of fantasy football do you play if sucking dick will help?

  41. Monica Dickey Says:

    CAN’T BELIEVE THAT GUY PAYING OFF THE REFS SO BLATANTLY, RIDICULOUS! hehe

  42. Ben Says:

    did ochocinco give the double-j some money to pay off the refs tonight?
    /i know i sound like a ravens fan

  43. SavetoFavorites Says:

    Tough to believe that a guy who runs as strict a household as Andy Reid would have such an undisciplined team.

  44. Drew's Unused Press Pass Says:

    @Gino Tourettsa RE: FirstnationalDank
    I dunno Packer fan?

  45. synapticmisfires Says:

    Great challenge, fatso. I’m sure they’ll definitely be able to tell that the ball was an inch further forward.

  46. Flip it Rub it Down Says:

    Speaking of Refs… What are those little puffs on that refs hat? Microphones? Pompoms?

  47. Rob in WI Says:

    If this ball moves backwards, there is NO DOUBT that Andy Reid is the worst challenging coach in the history of the world.

    ok, maybe not as bad as challenging your own fake punt.

  48. gemma barnes Says:

    the lucky single

  49. synapticmisfires Says:

    Oh and props to the ref. “Should I spot it all the way up or all the way back? Eh, let’s the difference.” Fucknuts.

  50. SavetoFavorites Says:

    Does wording of challenges matter? If so, why doesn’t every coach cast as wide a net as possible and just tell the ref he’s challenging “that thing that happened on the last play” or claiming “a different call than the one made on the field.”

  51. synapticmisfires Says:

    *split the difference

  52. SavetoFavorites Says:

    While Samuel’s out, don’t you want to throw to any single-covered wideouts?

  53. Drew's Unused Press Pass Says:

    “Paging Miles Austin, please report to the playing field…”

  54. MegaHorror Says:

    @Savetofavorites
    At least none of the Eagles have been flagged for heroin possession yet.

  55. Abrantes Says:

    If it weren’t far less amusing, I’d guess that the Carolina jersey is actually Thomas Davis’, not Stephen’s.

  56. Reggie Bush's Pimp Says:

    I just hope Donte Stallworth isn’t outside the stadium with his car ready to go for whenever Andy Reid leaves tonight.

    /McNabb doing everything to piss Philly off, short of wearing Yankees gear.

  57. Flip it Rub it Down Says:

    So it’s the umpire #44. He has these two little pom poms on the visor of his hat. Anyone know what these are? They are rather cute. (Did he just lose a bet or something?)

  58. Monkeypox Knife Fight Says:

    Andy Reid is the Rex Grossman of coaching challenges. Fuck it, I’m throwing the flag.

  59. Christmas Ape Says:

    BARAKA WINS. FATALITY.

  60. Ace Rimmer Says:

    Andy Reid is the Rex Grossman of coaching challenges. Fuck it, I’m throwing the flag.

    UNLEASH THE FLAGON!!1

  61. SavetoFavorites Says:

    “Yeah, that’s great and all– but I had a step on Samuel on the other side!”

    – Roy Williams

  62. Flip it Rub it Down Says:

    Nevermind, pretty sure they’re mics.

    /should have picked up miles austin

  63. Otto Man Says:

    Michaels has been waiting all night to use that “miles after the catch” zinger.

  64. Otto Man Says:

    He has these two little pom poms on the visor of his hat. Anyone know what these are?

    It means it’s a boy hat.

  65. synapticmisfires Says:

    +1 Otto

  66. Babe Edick Says:

    “You still need a touchdown to win the game so I don’t know what this field goal changes?”.
    /wishes he had taken that job in the nbc announcing booth instead of moving onto fourth grade.

  67. Sex Cannon and the City Says:

    God bless you, Andy Reid. That field goal made less sense than Ochocinco on his worst day.

  68. Babe Edick Says:

    Still, to be fair he is leading all NFL coaches in grit.

  69. PlayoffBeard Says:

    Celebratory Wade in slow motion is a sight for sore eyes.

  70. Ben Says:

    unfuckingbelievable. refs 20, eagles 16. andy reid you dumbass

  71. jackin'4beats Says:

    Suck it Eagles you fucking looooooooooose. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    GO COWBOYS!

  72. Drew's Unused Press Pass Says:

    I’m gonna be 5-0 in my various leagues this week, after going 0-5 last week. WTF?!!

  73. GoesTo11 Says:

    @Ben: 2 out of 3 correct. Reid was lofty tonight…Nothing like wasting your last timeout on a spot challenge with ten minutes left in a tie game. And then kicking a FG down by 7.

    Eagles fans, burn shit.

  74. miamidiesel Says:

    Good thing the Eagles, like the city of Philadelphia, fucking suck. I guess the disappointment of Philadelphia fans will have to give me some small solace on the day of another Giants FAIL. Looks like the talking heads will remember that Andy Reid still coaches the Eagles, which guarantees that they are in fact not a championship contender, and I won’t have to hear the bullshit about the Eagles as a contender this week. Sadly, the fact that the Cowboys are on top of the NFC East means we’re just trading Eagles hype for Cowboys hype. Fuuuuuuuuuuck…..

  75. gridiron junky Says:

    Leading the league in smiles

  76. BuzZ Says:

    Suck a fat one Philly.

  77. crispyaod Says:

    Yahoo has a fucking SPECTACULAR picture of Miles Austin catching the TD, pure Photoshop fodder:

    http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/games/20091108021/photos;_ylt=AgGAQH5ldN.6sN8IP7ZdUbYisLYF?slug=e1cea0bc4088477c82e2b8744569aa35.cowboys_eagles_football_pxe118&prov=ap

  78. SeanTheBastard Says:

    “with apologies to The PensBlog”

    I applaud your propriety, Ape. Do it.

  79. Nate Newton's van Says:

    And the Cowboys’ implosion continues…

  80. urmom Says:

    Probably the funniest post ever. WIN!

    Recipe for success – 1 part recycled Andy Reid Photoshop, 2 parts jersey jokes, 1 part Tom Brady hate, 1 part Darren Sproules size joke, with a splash of OCHO CINCO is crazyness!!= what everyone else is saying.

  81. Chase Utleys Jockstrap Says:

    The eagles:poster team for consistency

  82. Michael Irvin's Seniority Says:

    Ochocinco is my hero.

  83. Animal Mother Says:

    This just in, Tampa Bay’s Ring Of Honor is now full.

  84. Theodore Says:

    All I have to say is damn the Eagles!! Have you seen that amazing Reebok commercial?

    http://whowhatwherewheny.wordpress.com/2009/11/05/hot-girls-and-marketing-now-with-100-more-video/

  85. kmoney Says:

    wat the hell is he doing with that bill in his hand…he waist his time doing that when they one anyway..if i was the losing team, i would be embarssed to return home knowing that my team just got kicked in the ass by a bunch of wussys that my team could have beat. WOOOWWWW!!!! thats some bull!!!!

  86. chunky soupy sales Says:

    well at least Donovan didn’t puke this time.

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