Better Help Out Your Brah, Brah
Brah, I don’t even know how to react to that! First, I’m all, like, WHEW! There’s Coldplay on the Pod. I praise Brahman for Coldplay. But then you go drop bombs on my moms with the no DMB disclosure. That’s like play-action mindf*ck, brah.
Brah! Is your black brah trying to hang on to the lingering strains of his blackness? Nah brah, you gotta indoctrinate that black brah to chill tunes. Otherwise he could get crazy subversive rap ideas and turn into a gangbanging brah. That’s no way for a black brah to be. It’s dope that you got him on the Coldplay, though. Just add Rilo Kiley and he and Peter King can be tight coffeehouse brahs.
But you really gotta get him on the DMB, brah. It’s, like, not getting your daily dose of chill without it. RDA of DMB, brah. You gotsta have it.
You’re just dropping all the knowledge on the Tweeple today, Brahmaster Fuller.
Tags: brah, holly mangold has the microwave chime on her iPod, Twitter, xmas ape
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November 10th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Satellite’s my song, brah!
November 10th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
the real question is: Does he have Rilo Kiley on his iPod?!?! I guess I’ll just text him.
November 10th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Jay Cutler has DMB on his iPod, brah.
November 10th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
I thought the real question is what does Rex Ryan have on his iPod?
November 10th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I saw this entire episode unfold on my twitter page yesterday. It was the most interesting thing there. I have no idea why I have a twitter.
November 10th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I’ll never understand why people give a shit when others like a certain band? How/why does it bother you?
Please help me understand this – why does it offend you so when people like a trendy band like Coldplay or DMB or whoever?
November 10th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
@ Ryno – It’s not chill, brah.
November 10th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Brah, next think he won’t have his John Mayer to chill the fuck out to brah!
November 10th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
DMB = Damn, Mysister’s Big?
November 10th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
@Ryno
I heard Nickelback is your favorite band and you don’t even have a second favorite band.
November 10th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Please help me understand this – why does it offend you so when people like a trendy band like Coldplay or DMB or whoever?
Sigh.
Because swearing by Coldplay and Dave Matthews, espeically together, is a well-known bro cliche. It’s not offensive to me whether people like one or both. Just playing into that generalization.
November 10th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
“holly mangold has the microwave chime on her iPod” might be the funniest tag ever here at KSK
November 10th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Would you be surprised that I love DMB?
November 10th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Fair enough Ape – that’s the first clear explanation I’ve gotten on the matter. I appreciate it.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
God, I hate the Dave Matthews Band. If, like me, you were a white kid at college in the late ’90s, that shit was inescapable.
Bust out a fucking fiddle around me, brah, and you’d BETTER be about to play “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.” There’s no other excuse.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
It’s offensive to me that anybody likes DMB, and I’m not going to lift a finger to help Ryno understand this.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
You know how I know you’re gay? You listen to Coldplay.
I despise both those fucking bands.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
I’ll be going over to Kerry’s house later to repossess his black card. He’s got a lot of work to do to get it back.
/Yes we all have one
November 10th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
The real question here is who put that Coldplay on Kerry Rhodes’ iPod.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
@ryno
just chill, brah.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
and rocco, no.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Best thing about this post by an enormous margin? The “holly mangold has the microwave chime on her iPod” tag. Well, played, Ape.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
@goesto11: Dave Matthews Band is still nearly inescapable in Colleges.
The real question is, what’s the over/under on there being more Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus songs being on that ipod than Coldplay and DMB?
November 10th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
“Brahmaster Fuller”
Damn, brah, that be a Buckminster Fuller reference??? Y’all be droppin some SURRIUS science on my ass!!!!
November 10th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Coldplay, Kerry? You’re not black enough for my sister, brah.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
dude. man. dude.
@ryno
because it gets old pussy tubing your mom to DMB every night.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Why do I care when someone likes shitty bands? Because the more people who like them the more likely it is that I will have to hear them at some point when I go out. And depending on the demo at the establishment, you’re always stuck hearing some shitty band, be it Dave Matthews, The Eagles, Nickelback, Rascal Flatts (really, if you’re in a bar frequented by rednecks, you’re just fucked all around), etc.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
A white guy critiquing the music a black guy has on his iPod? That shit ain’t right.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Toss on some OAR and the girls will be so wet you’ll need hip waders to walk through the room, brah.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
If Rex found out Rhodes had coldplay on his ipod, he would definitely be suspended for the Jets Thursday Jaguar punching competition.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Don’t anybody go and put the D in the B.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Whoa, brah. You gotta get some G Love on that, brah.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Thursday Jaguar punching competition
Not to be confused with the Thursday Cougar punching and spitting competition sponsored by Larry Johnson.
/HEY-OHHHHHHHH
November 10th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Oh, and I know Jedman already posted it, but I MUST second the “Brahmaster Fuller” awesomeness.
November 10th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
The Fray will be PISSED if they aren’t part of that rad playlist.
November 10th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
DMB is the Gen X equivalent of the Emperor’s New Clothes………..think about it
November 10th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
I”m somewhat confused over the Rilo Kiley reference; that’s more of a hipster/indie stereotype.
November 11th, 2009 at 11:06 am
DMB has been going on since I was in college back in ‘93. It hasn’t let up. The worst part are all the fucking ‘brahs’ that play DMB nonstop at open mics. They really think they’re fucking great. All I want to do is strangle them. I’ve been drunk enough to harass these assholes to the point of crying/fighting.
I can’t help it. It drives me nuts.
On a sidenote, I will also say that the Holly Mangold tag might be the greatest tag ever.
November 11th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Ugh, I HATE how white I sound here, but the new DMB is actually really, really good.
/ahem
brah…
November 12th, 2009 at 4:07 am
love coldplay and dave matthews