Welcome back for another fun week of poorly thought out wagers. While you’re sitting there reading this I’m locked in a very large warehouse counting a lot of stuff while trying to limit my dust intake. Good times. Anyway, I was able to find three of the world’s foremost football prognosticators to assist with this week’s picks.
Smooth Jimmy Apollo: I hereby declare the Lions Smooth Jimmy’s Lock of the Week. When you lose 90% of the time you’re bound to win 10% of the time.
Unnamed Sportscaster: I declare the Colts to be my Shoe-In of the Week. And I really wish that Jay Kogen had given me a name. I am so lonely.
Professor Frink: After analyzing millions of pieces of data, the Gamble Tron 2000 says the winner is… the Falcons, by 200 points?!
In all seriousness, I have a machine that tells me to pick the Falcons every week. It has become sentient, and I have come to fear for my well being. Enjoy the games, and please never listen to anyone’s gambling advice. People are stupid. Stupider than machines.
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mmm… Cheerleaders *drools*
Yeah, that’s the best view of the Colts cheerleaders. There isn’t a decent looking cheerleading squad in the state.
/would probably consider trading a 3rd round pick for the San Diego Charger Gals
//4th for the Eagles Cheerleaders
Uh oh, looks like someone said Voldem-, I mean… Sexy Friday out loud.
Is Atlanta really minus 7 at the Giants? Without Turner?
I heard President…Obama…will be watching the games with his wife…Michelle…
Sunday Cruddy Sunday:
“This episode was animated long before anyone knew who would go to Super Bowl XXXIII. The producers emphasized this by the deliberately obvious audio splicing in Moe’s Tavern, and the awkward way the men held the beer mugs in front of their mouths (so you could not read their lips). “
I’m willing to put aside my seething hatred for the Colts for this comment: Fantastic, fucking fantastic picture of the cheer squad. I have no clue why I love the outfits so much, but god damn…sexy friday has arrived early.
I thought that was “Sunday Cruddy Sunday” that they did that in, with Moe holding the beer mug in front of his face.
I think you’re right.
For “Lisa the Greek”, they redubbed Dallas for Washington, but they were able to keep using Buffalo as the AFC rep.
picking the falcons has been a deathwish of late.
Awwww … the Denver Broncos!?!
“The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved Unsilent Majority. I call him ‘Gamblor’, and it’s time to snatch Maj from his neon claws!”
Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it’s okay in the Bible.
Lisa: Really? Where?
Homer: Uh… Somewhere in the back.
The blond who’s second from the right in the front has got the perfect bend and hand position going on in that pose. The other girls are just mailing it in and need to step up their effort. Take notes, ladies
I wonder if that Gambletron 2000 is a pleasure model?
And what’s wrong with Professor Pigskin? Not kosher?
“I was sad when the Simpsons stopped rebroadcasting the Super Bowl gambling episode every year when they would badly redub the names of the two teams involved.”
I thought that was “Sunday Cruddy Sunday” that they did that in, with Moe holding the beer mug in front of his face.
*whistles*
What a gambler!
Is that Peter King’s shoe?
I’ll take the Raiders, because they always cheat.
Smooth Jimmy Apollo looks like he’s going to punch out Brent Musberg— ahem, Unnamed Sportscaster at a bar any day now.
In the game… of… Mi… am… i…Versus Cin…cin…nat…i…
The wind is blow-ing, at, a, speed, of, 4 (miles per hour) teen, (miles per hour), knots.
Homer: Don’t you know this is costing me money!
You know its a poor sign for Cleveland when the lock of the week involves betting ON the Lions.
Or should they take it as a positive sign that they are only .5 point dogs when you eliminate the 3 points home field advantage?
If only Maj was better at betting, then he’d get to whiff Moe’s sweaty feet. It’s the smell of victory.
I used to hate the smell of your sweaty feet. Now it’s the smell of victory!
Will there be an inventory luau tonight?
Time killing tip for UM:
Try seeing how many things you can count in an hour and then try to beat that record.
We’d better call the coach’s hotline to see how fast the wind is blowing at Ford Field.
just ask lisa simpson. she seems to know what she’s doin.
This is LS calling for HS
/covers mouth with mug
“Denver Broncos”
“Atlanta Falcons”
I’ll admit: I was sad when the Simpsons stopped rebroadcasting the Super Bowl gambling episode every year when they would badly redub the names of the two teams involved.
Falcons, by 200 points?! Glavin!
Hmmm. I don’t know. That is a pretty big lock.