Scheduling Advisory: NO MAILBAG THIS WEEK. We apologize for the inconvenience. Consider it our bye week. In the meantime, please look to Savage Love and Roto Arcade for your sex and fantasy football advice needs. Enjoy your Thanksgiving and this NSFW Pirelli calendar with naked supermodels, and don’t forget to set your lineup tonight.
TAGS: quick hits
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![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/tebow-centaur-elway-150x150.jpg)
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Why do I feel like I need to buy Italian tires?
oh no! what am i gonna read for my post-hump day erotic literature wank???
/googles “erotic literature”
//finds “literotica”
///ends up with right arm in sling
////can’t pass turkey to the right
@UU Even if Jones is playing I think I go with Forsett there. The Titans are on a roll and I’d want no part of them when I can have a guy (even if he’s going to split carries) against the second worst D in the NFL.
Disclaimer: Mr. Sweatpants office accepts no liability for the results of any fantasy advice you may or may not have taken from him. By reading this silently to yourself you have waived any legal responsibility on his part in perpetuity throughout the universe.
Boojmarks the Pirelli calendar page for later.
/mmm stuffing
The sex/love advice is much better on Savage Love, but the man can’t give fantasy suggestions for shit.
No mailbag, so let’s keep the Bill Simmons hate rolling.
This is some of the drivel he just spouted in his latest mailbag:
“But other than Muhammad Ali, no other athlete from the past 40 years was more memorable, beloved or distinct.”
The fantastic, awesome, world beating “athlete, to which he refers?
Andre The Giant.
Bill Simmons is a thirteen year old trapped in a man’s body. FUCK YOU BILL SIMMONS.
I rely on Coach Ryan for all my sex advice needs.
But there aren’t any dates on that calendar, oh wait. TITS!
Happy Thanksgiving people.
RE twoeightnine Says:
“There’s something wrong with her looking like a 12 year old?”
Just kinda creeped me out a little, is all. Maybe it’s just me.
I’m thinking you guys should just respond to all the sex questions with “Bust a move.”
Slash – you could have the other end of the scale, where that nasty skank Lady Gaga claims to be 23, is probably 33, and is looking about 43 these days.
To quote the late great George Carlin; “You ever notice you never seem to get laid much on Thanksgiving? I think it’s because all the coats are on the bed!”
There’s something wrong with her looking like a 12 year old?
Hmm, Savage Love… that’s gotta be about sex and love in the deepest regions of the Amazon…
Probably the wrong crowd, but does anyone else think Miranda Kerr looks like a 12-year-old? Because she kinda does to me. At least in one pic I saw yesterday, where she’s wearing (kinda) some skanky-looking overall/shorts thing. Wikipedia tells me she’s 26, and in the VS ads and whatnot, she looks her age. But in the shot I saw yesterday? Pedo Bear approved.
Yeah, I got nothing else to contribute. Hard to compete with naked models.
Since there is no mailbag I’ll ask here, how do I get my girlfriend/wife/fiance to have anal sex/have a threesome/have sex with a midget?
Since there is no mailbag I’ll ask here, do I start Tim Hightower v. Titans, or Justin Forsett v. Rams?