THIS FACKIN GREEK FAKE-HISPANIC BITCH IS RAWPONSIBLE FAH ALL OW-AH SAWFFERING! That’s right, everybody. Put down all the statistical analyses proving that Belichick did actually make the correct decision by trying to convert the 4th and 2. Turns out, the Patriots were fated to lose anyway, because Access Hollywood host and Boston native Maria Menounos Tweeted that the Pats were going to win before the game was actually over. DIDN’T LITTLE BILLY SIMMONS EVAH TEACH THIS FAKE MEXICUNT ABOWT THE POWAH OF THE JINX? WE SHOULD REVOKE HEH BAHSTON CITIZENSHIP! SHE’S NAWT IN THE BROTHAHOOD ANY MO-AH!
Tags: boston haterade is the tastiest haterade of all, greatriots, jinx jinx jinx, quick hit, xmas ape
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November 19th, 2009 at 11:13 am
Leave Maria alone, I can forgive her because she is hot as hell.
November 19th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Who is she again? Hell, as long as it makes the Pats fans crazy…
November 19th, 2009 at 11:18 am
I thought this was the 21st century. People still actually believe in curses and shit like that? Like, enough to suggest a “jinx” in a major newspaper? I’m sure they’d say it’s all in fun, but apparently there are some not-so-smart people among the Patriots fans (yes, I know, difficult to fathom) who take it seriously.
Way to go, Boston Herald. Maria may need police protection now. Dipshits. Almost as dumb as the idiots down here who suggested Jessica Simpson was affecting Romo’s game. We don’t hold with curses down here, but we are happy to suggest that a big-titted blonde is sapping the strength from our quarterback. That’s just science. Jesus-approved science, not like that evolution crap.
November 19th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Maria Menounos is from Boston? God. Damnit. I guess it’s true, what they say about the most appealing faces of the devil. I suppose this also explains why she was (is?) dating a douchetard like Vin Diesel…
November 19th, 2009 at 11:21 am
On second thought, banging Maria Menounos could make for the greatest hate-fuck ever
/especially if it had happened after SBXLII
//will never be allowed within 500 yards of her anyways
November 19th, 2009 at 11:24 am
I’d hit it like the mighty fist of God, regardless of any jinx (or lack thereof because, you know, they don’t exist…).
November 19th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Aaaaand this is reason #4080 why the people of Bahstan who read this shit and have cheered for the Pats since 2001 are dipshits.
/Menounos can still get it
November 19th, 2009 at 11:46 am
@miamidiesel: Michelle Malkin will always and forever be the greatest “MM” hate fuck imaginable. Besides, what’s so hateable about Maria Menounos? Sure, she’s hot, vapid, and dating a meathead douche, but if you hate her then in order to be consistent you’d have to hate the entire female population of New Jers…oh, wait. Nevermind.
November 19th, 2009 at 11:50 am
To be fair, though, Twitter’s character count cut off the rest of her tweet:
“. . . unless Belicheat fucks it up by going for it on 4th down in an OBVIOUS PUNTING SITUATION”
November 19th, 2009 at 11:53 am
If Tommy wants her out of the Brotherhood, maybe Moe needs another great moment in ownage.
November 19th, 2009 at 11:54 am
“…big-titted blonde”
I replaced that with redhead in my mind. Ah…boobs. The perfect conversation starter.
November 19th, 2009 at 11:55 am
@ Slash
The Herald is a real paper in much the same way that the NY Post is a real paper and Sunny D is real orange juice.
November 19th, 2009 at 11:55 am
@J4B: what about those of us who read the Globe and cheered since the days of Hog Hannah et al in the 70s?
/I know, we can still get facked
November 19th, 2009 at 11:56 am
And Shaughnessy writes for the Globe, so pretty much all of our newspapers suck a lot of dick.
November 19th, 2009 at 11:57 am
I’d love do my David Tyree impression to Maria but resting my balls on her face.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Here’s her statement the next day, “I’m a huge dumbass and should be punished.”
Oh Maria, you temptress.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
She is Greek. She even speaks Greek and goes to a Greek church. Wikipedia that shit. Mexicunt, my ass…
November 19th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
I bet she also loves it Greek style.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
I mentioned that she’s Greek in the first line.
Try reading.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
I only heard of the Boston Herald because that was the newspaper poor Lisa Olson worked for. I’ve hated both that paper and the Patriots ever since. No pretty freckle-faced redhead deserves to have a big black cock waved in her face unless she’s being paid very well for it.
/Maria’s ass was the best part of Monday Night Raw a few week’s back. No wonder the Greeks were gay, their women have backsides like 14 year old boys.
//Dreams of a threesome with Maria and Lisa.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
RE Dr. Steve Brule Says:
“…big-titted blonde”
I replaced that with redhead in my mind. Ah…boobs. The perfect conversation starter.
Glad I could help.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
@Slothrop: If you’ve truly cheered for the Pats since the 70’s then God bless ya. Too bad the 8 year old fanbase (and both city newspapers) are fucking it up for the rest of you.
I find it difficult to believe that any paper is worse than the shitrag that is the NY Post, but I’m willing to listen to any and all arguments.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
@ Zamboni: Your point is well taken unless you enjoy statistical breakdowns of percentages, in which case…yeah.
http://www.advancednflstats.com/2009/11/belichicks-4th-down-decision-vs-colts.html
November 19th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Greeks and Indians (dot not feathers) rival each other for the most body hair on the planet.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
@ Sloth: I was 7 and a Pats fan when Rod Rust and Dick MacPherson became coaches, so I hear ya, but yeah, I’ve only been watching since 2001 as well…
November 19th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
@J4B: I’m old and stupid, but Sam the Bam running behind one of Hannah’s pulls was a thing of terrible beauty. I own one Pats jersey and it’s the Hog’s. The pinkhats can choke on a flaming pile of Heralds and CHB’s books.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Ken, I was going to college in RI when Rust and Dick MacPherson was named coach. It was a lot harder to hate the Pats and their fans back in
November 19th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
those days.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Sam behind Hannah >>>>> Leonard Russell toss right behind Eugene Chung.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
“You guys are just recycling the same Pats bandwagon jokes as ever! ‘Boston people are faggots who screw fat girls from Quincy!’ HAHAHAHA! This the best you got, Ape?”
-The Patriots version of Todd Heap’s Bible
November 19th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Christmas Ape is not having any of the commentariat nonsense today. Go Ape Go!
November 19th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Menounos only sounds Mexican because it sounds and looks like Menudo. Completely unlike Ms. Menounos, who is a stone cold fox.
But yeah, thanks for that, Maria! Much obliged.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
@Ken Gryphon Jr.:
Eugene Chung >>>>> Ken Sims.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
I think Tawmy from quinzee was more mad at the fact that a Bostonian female was holding onto a big black mic.
*wonders if people from Boston live in the medieval ages with all their witchcraft voodoo curses they come up with*
November 19th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
@Ken Gryphon Jr.: are you still happy with the decision if the Patriots are at their own 9 yard line?
Statistically speaking, Manning was having a difficult day. I’m all for gutsy coaching moves, but why pass the ball two consecutive downs when, statistically speaking, your team is averaging 4+ yards per carry?
/baseball digression
Statistically speaking less runs are scored with a runner on 2nd and 1 out vs. a runner on 1st and 0 outs. Yet
managers generally bunt the runner over.
/end baseball digression
Regardless of Belicheck’s decision, I’m disappointed that Brady and Manning both survived the game without career-ending injuries.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
@Slash
I’m going out on a limb here but I think I’m right in saying that it has been scientifically proven by most male readers of this site that yes, big-titted blonds/redheads/brunettes/Asians/[insert preference] (might as well include big/nice/voluptuous/kicking/GAWD DAMN-assed/legged) sap our strength in every way imaginable.
By scientifically proven I mean that we have pursued the matter to an extent that could make many of us experts in how much our strength is sapped by said partner, including the occasional double or triple experiment. I know, the workload is too much sometimes, causing us to retreat to a local bar for beer and pizza just to conference with other independent scientists to pool our findings in order to come to a better conclusion the next time.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
This reminds me of the time the Red Sox lost the 1986 World Series because someone prematurely flashed congratulations on the World Series victory on the Jumbotron.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
@ Zamboni: Yes, I’m fine with going for it on fourth down. I don’t want Manning to have the ball back and, frankly, I think our offense is good enough to make the play.
My issue with it is that Faulk ran a 2 yard route to gain 2 yards. If he runs PAST the first down marker instead of running right on it, we’re not having this conversation. A 3 yard pass there that he bobbles and gets knocked back 1/2 a yard on = first down.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
4th and 2 from their own 28 with two minutes left, the Pats lined up to punt. I wrote “game over” in my notebook and switched over to The Cleveland Show.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
yes not even being a fan of a team whose fans are the scum of the earth can make maria menounos any less attractive.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
@Nate Newton’s van:
I call bullshit. Nobody watches that show, not even Gregggggg Easterbrook.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
@miamidiesel: I beg to differ. Michelle Malkin will always and forever be the greatest possible “MM” hate fuck imaginable. But why the hate for Menounos? Sure, she’s scorchingly hot but brainless and vapid and dating a meathead douche, but if you’re going to hate her you might as well just hate every single female person in New Jers…oh, wait. Carry on.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
maria ‘meh now knows’ just how wicked retarded one region of the country can be.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
She really dates Vin Diesel? Oh for fuck’s sake.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
@Zack: well played, sir. You and your yellow fever can have Malkin. I’ll stick with my visions of tying up Menounos with her Brady jersey and giving her the business while rocking a Big Blue jersey
/not sure who the rapiest Giant is. Brandon Jacobs? Osi? Tuck?
//sure it’s not Eli since he fears vajayjays
///lately Giants are the ones getting raped anyways
November 19th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Can’t we all just agree that Sarah Palin is the hate-fuckiest chick in the world?
November 19th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
While I’m no Pats fan, I just don’t trust those Greeks and their heretical Eastern Orthodox Church. The only thing they’re good for is keeping the heathen Turk out of the good part of Europe.
November 19th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
@miamidiesel: what a compelling image! (Of course, I’m imagining *myself* in the Giants jersey yelling “Big…blue…wrecking…crew!” the whole time). I never really thought about what I’d wear for the Malkin thing. A sombrero, I guess. Or maybe a Raul Allegre jersey AND a sombrero.
@natenewton: there’s no way I can possibly agree to that while Carrie Prejean and Elizabeth Hasselbeck still draw breath.
/wonders what jersey would be appropriate to wear for Hasselbeck.
//really, really, really hopes the KSK guys let us do a hate fuck draft in the offseason this year.
November 19th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
First she ruins my Real World reunion specials — even makes fellow Bostonian Emilee Fitzpatrick walk off the set in tears — and now THIS?!?!
November 19th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Goddamit, Bill Simmons is not the ambassador of Boston sports fans. He does not speak for all Boston fans, and his opinion is not equivalent to Boston’s opinion. That role is reserved for Ben Affleck, you clueless clowns.
November 20th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
As far as hatefucks go, the conversation begins and ends with Carrie Prejean. Thank you.