Your KSK Meast and Least of the Week – Week 3
This weekend, the Patriots are playing the only team in the NFL that could possibly make me root for them, the Purplish Carrion Crows of Deepest Rottencrotch (Officially: Lord Baltimore’s seaside queef depot).
P-Drizzle, so jovial
So it would be the ideal time for me to admit that for the past few months I’ve been seeing a girl who’s (GASP!) a Boston fan. Me! The guy who hates Boston sports teams so much! It’s like I’m actually able to compartmentalize preferences in trivial things and focus on a person’s other, more important, qualities (like tits)! Me! The guy who usually isn’t able to compartmentalize preferences in trivial things and focus on a person’s other, more important, qualities (like tits)!
Luckily, she doesn’t understand football nor does she care at all about the game. This might otherwise be an issue, but is fantastic in this circumstance because her not caring is the only thing keeping her from being a Patriots fan.
(She does actually own a Tedy Bruschi jersey and threatened to wear it to my D.C. book reading. Or just wear it at all. In response, I vowed to visit swift death upon her, which was a surprisingly effective deterrent. Try that one in the future, you guys)
Granted, I still have to put up with (if she’s reading, that means ADORE) the SAWX stuff, but I don’t particularly care about baseball and it’s fun to go to Nationals games and laugh at how she fumes when the Nats play “Sweet Caroline” during pitching changes (”THAT’S OW-UH FACKIN SONG! NO ONE DENIES THIS! EVERYONE HE-UH IS A FACKIN COWPYCAT! THEY AH-RUNT BAHSTONISH ENOUGH!”).
Plus she frequently and openly admits that no one cared about the Pats until they started winning titles, and she gets irritated whenever she talks with someone from back home in Boston who brings up the Patriots while the Red Sox are still playing (”They never used to do that before!”).
So keep reinforcing all the negative stereotypes I have of Bawston football fans, honey, and we’ll get along just fine.
Anyway, your Meast this week is the Detroit Lions. Yes, all of them. Because they won a game, you see. So good job, Larry Foote, er, I mean, everybody! Also, Matt Stafford has fine taste in skanks.
And thank goodness the Lions won, because otherwise we’d be forced to give the Meast to goddamn Peyton Manning. Not that I hate the guy (I don’t) but of all the homer commenters who vent on this site, Colts fans are by far the most annoying dribblecunts when in comes to lobbying for their cherished Fetus Head to win our pointless and arbitrary weekly award.
“Hey, why didn’t you make Peyton the Meast? He only threw for 300-plus yards on four pass attempts, while the offense only had 17 seconds overall in time of possession. He totally makes up for the fact that our run defense couldn’t stop any random running back from averaging six yards per carry.”
“Did you see how funny those ads Pey-Pey has with Justin Timberlake? He makes the people around him funnier! I wonder if Justin does a Dallas Clark impression! Make Peyton the Meast this week and every week! Even during the off-season!”
The last thing I want to do is encourage – or even placate – these raving dipshits, so thanks Lions. You’re the bestest. (But seriously though, don’t be the bestest in Week 5)
Our Least this week could not reasonably be awarded to one hapless individual, so we have riven the dishonor in twain to bestow it upon Jim Zorn, whose random acts of fuckwittery cost his team a game to the fucking Lions, and Jake Delhomme, who will lose to everybody until he is mercifully benched or shot. They also make a fine pair because they’re cornball assholes who aw-shucks their way through sucking.
Hey, look, another Downfall parody! No one in the sports blogosphere ever does that! I guess this one’s different because Redskins fans have Hitler represent their team’s Jewish owner. Oopity!
Someday in near future, when Will Leitch cashes in on his lucrative raisin futures, I hope he will purchase the foundering Jaguars, relocate them to Mattoon, rename them the Fiddlesticks, and fill the roster with nothing but players incapable of or unwilling to swear properly.
Jim Zorn will be their coach. Jake Delhomme will be their quarterback. A bunch of other dithering white players will handle the rest.
[Sideline reporter talks with hollow-eyed Leitch, who watches his team trail 132-0 with 8:31 remaining in the 1st quarter]
Leitch: “Aw cramblebit stew! We almost forced ‘em into a second down on that series! Heavens to Willie McGee, I believe this stratagem was ill-conceived!”
Tags: colts fans would like to cast their ballot for fudge, jeff george memorial least of the week, Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week, tawnya from quinzee, xmas ape
October 1st, 2009 at 11:37 am
for the past few months (GASP!) I’ve been seeing a girl.
/fixed
October 1st, 2009 at 11:37 am
this girl sounds like a real bitch.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:37 am
Seriously though, Peyton should have been the beast
October 1st, 2009 at 11:42 am
“So it would be the ideal time for me to admit that for the past few months I’ve been seeing a girl who’s (GASP!) a Boston fan. Me! The guy who loves cock so much!”
Just kidding. Congrats on the girlfriend.
I actually knew a Pats fan before they starting winning titles. Dude lived and died with the team — almost like real fans!. Fortunately for me, He moved back to Mass a few years prior to the Pats run.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:46 am
“no one cared about the Pats until they started winning titles”
I went to college in RI and can confirm that this statement is true, with the exception of a few Pats fans I knew.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:48 am
Does she let you access the Ted Williams Tunnel? What’s the toll?
October 1st, 2009 at 11:50 am
Ape’s dating a girl who loves baseball and doesn’t care for football. But why?
October 1st, 2009 at 11:51 am
Please don’t root for the Patriots this week. We don’t want Steeler scum anywhere near our bandwagon.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:53 am
Too late!
PATRIOTS GUARANTEED TO WIN! NOT EVEN GOD HIMSELF COULD STOP THEM! NO ONE DENIES THIS!
October 1st, 2009 at 11:53 am
Huh. Looks like I’ve lost $5 in the “Is Ape a Fruit?” betting pool.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:56 am
This post was so rambling that I just gave up and started staring at Stafford’s chick.
But seriously, the sports ‘Downfall’ meme has completely jumped the shark. Somebody sent me one of those that had to do with Ole Miss baseball. OLE MISS BASEBALL.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:57 am
I don’t remember any girls at the book reading… and didn’t you say that she was from Canada?
October 1st, 2009 at 11:59 am
Why do all Squeeler fans have an extreme hatred toward the Patriots?
October 1st, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Even in a thread where a dozen other people are making gay jokes about me, Mo Charlo still manages to be the most annoying.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Pussy’s a helluva drug.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Tlue rove.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I’m happy for you, Ape. It’s like my dad told me once, “When a woman can catch you masturbating to a Hines Ward Fathead without running for the hills, you don’t ever let her go.”
/tosses five bucks on Tracer Bullet’s collection plate
October 1st, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Looks like Ape jumped from bestiality with Jean Grey to….well from the looks of her….bestiality with an upright mammal.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:12 pm
@twoeightnine
there were definitely girls there but more importantly there was a fuckload of crabmeats fresh for the taking
October 1st, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Does anyone else think the girl Ape is dating is none other than Future Mrs Rick Ankiel or should I say Future Mrs X-mas Ape.
Think about it, she is a huge Red Sox fan and was always flirting with Ape here in the comments.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Why do all Squeeler fans have an extreme hatred toward the Patriots?
Change “Squeeler fans” to “everyone” and you’ve got yourself the most open-ended question ever formulated by man.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Totally off topic…..but I can’t believe some people still watch these idiotic Saw movies.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Does anyone else think the girl Ape is dating is none other than Future Mrs Rick Ankiel or should I say Future Mrs X-mas Ape.
Nope. She’s involved with a different awkward blogging guy.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Um, from the pictures we’ve seen, Christmas Ape is nowhere near well-dressed enough to be even a little gay.
Is it OK if I think all sports fans, regardless of the sport or region, are retards? It’s just easier that way. Instead of a constantly changing list of the dumbest fans to keep up with, I just lump them all into one big retarded group that has nothing better to do with their spare time.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:19 pm
This makes it official… absolutely no one watched Giants-Bucs.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Huh. Looks like I’ve lost $5 in the “Is Ape a Fruit?” betting pool.
Until we see pics, I’m assuming the chick is either a tranny or a female bodybuilder. Or Chyna. I’d not give up that $5 just yet.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:20 pm
@twoeightnine. She might be from the Maritimes. There’s a lot of Sox fans in Halifax due to proximity/picking up radio broadcasts etc.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Thank God you didn’t pick the Steelers WRs…(2 OPIs, 1 dropped TD, 1 inexplicable OOB after catch that would’ve been a TD, failure to hot read leading to pick 6), but it’s okay, because Santonio sure was physical in his runblocking
October 1st, 2009 at 12:21 pm
I’m having cramblebit stew for lunch.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:21 pm
“Nope. She’s involved with a different awkward blogging guy.”
Ufford?
October 1st, 2009 at 12:22 pm
The OPIs on Hines were retarded calls, but yeah, they fucked up plenty otherwise.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:23 pm
“Nope. She’s involved with a different awkward blogging guy.”
Ufford?
Not awkward enough… Magary? (But don’t tell his wife).
October 1st, 2009 at 12:23 pm
@daryl http://animalradio.com/EricStromerMarNL.jpg
October 1st, 2009 at 12:24 pm
@The Whole F’n Show yeah, I still want to know who the girl was with the badge.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:27 pm
“Nope. She’s involved with a different awkward blogging guy.”
Ufford?
Not awkward enough… Magary? (But don’t tell his wife).
Mitch Albom?
October 1st, 2009 at 12:29 pm
@ UU:
Also conspicuously absent as of late…
October 1st, 2009 at 12:30 pm
God, that is a great bad MS Paint of Tawnya.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:30 pm
“Nope. She’s involved with a different awkward blogging guy.”
Carl the Giants vlogger from adult swim. There it is.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Nope. She’s involved with a different awkward blogging guy.
So awkward that I had to switch from sports blogging to philosophy blogging. I THINK THEREFORE ZORN IS FIRED!
October 1st, 2009 at 12:38 pm
“Nope. She’s involved with a different awkward blogging guy.”
Awkward how? Asked-to-smoke-weed-out-of-her-asshole-on-a-podcast awkward?
October 1st, 2009 at 12:42 pm
“Asked-to-smoke-weed-out-of-her-asshole-on-a-podcast awkward?”
A butt bong? I prefer beaver bonngs.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Raskolnikov and FMRA? that’s going to a deep, dark place. Like an assbong.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:47 pm
I’m pretty sure Ryan Gosling already made this movie.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:49 pm
“I hope he will purchase the foundering Jaguars”
Fix yo floundering. prz
October 1st, 2009 at 12:51 pm
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=30785&dict=CALD
FIX YO INCORRECT NITPICKING
October 1st, 2009 at 12:56 pm
I know you don’t care much about baseball, Ape, but you could use this as an opportunity to teach her that the sport did exist before 2004. She can spread the word to the rest of the Red Sox “fans” who magically sprung up around then. Oh, and you could mention that the NFL existed before 2001 too. The more you know!
October 1st, 2009 at 12:59 pm
This is amazing news. Ape, have her throw on the Bruschi jersey at the right time, and it’s an easy transition into hate sex.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:01 pm
ohhhhhh. You guys must have had your first fight last night. How sweet.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:01 pm
I heard there was an ass-bong involved. Go on…
October 1st, 2009 at 1:08 pm
How did I manage to be the most annoying? Were you offended by my observation that you touched on several topics, and then agreed with your assessment of the downfall meme?
October 1st, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Ray Rice is going to have a hell of a time removing his head from Terrell Suggs’ asshole.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:24 pm
QUITE FRANKLY THIS POST WAS VERY COMICAL. IT REMINDED ME OF THE TIME THAT KOBE BRYANT AND THE LOS ANGELES LAKERS DEFEATED THE BOSTON CELTICS IN THE 2009 NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION FINALS.
AND THAT IS THE HEART OF THE CHAMPION.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:35 pm
“the past few months I’ve been seeing a girl ”
/and we find out the real reason for the cancellation of Sexy Friday
October 1st, 2009 at 1:37 pm
assbong – a must if you want to perfect the Sons of Anarchy “anal rain dance”
October 1st, 2009 at 1:40 pm
“A bunch of other dithering white players will handle the rest”
THAT’S RACIST!!
/Bizzaro Sharpton
October 1st, 2009 at 1:48 pm
@Clockwork Orange
You serious? Pretty sure there were at least a couple of red sox fans before 2004.
@85
Penis envy.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:51 pm
So….Ape….you’re tapping the female that appeared with you in the Tellibre Tower video that you posted a while back even though I CORRECTLY INSISTED that you’d be more hurt burning your Hines Wald jersey?
I remember hearing a female voice but don’t know if we saw her. I’m assuming she’s cool with stalkers then???
October 1st, 2009 at 1:55 pm
why does anyone care about ape pretending to have a girlfriend? It’s like that geek that came back from summer vacation in 5th grade and told everyone he had a girlfriend he met at camp. But she lives in another state. And i don’t have a picture of her. And she’s a model. And i swear this is hypothetical.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Clearly this girl likes the Fathead.
/giggles for an hour
October 1st, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Congrats on the significant other.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:04 pm
If I were going to make up a fake story about having a girlfriend, I certainly wouldn’t make her a Red Sox fan.
MAYBE THAT’S THE INGENIOUS PART OF MY LIE! I HOPE YOURTEAMSUCKS IS IMPRESSED!
October 1st, 2009 at 2:07 pm
“So it would be the ideal time for me to admit that for the past few months I’ve been seeing a girl…”
My take is you’re bragging online about your conquest. Eat a dick.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Jim Zorn will be their coach. Jake Delhomme will be their quarterback. Brian Russell will captain the defense. A bunch of other dithering white players will handle the rest.
Fixed to add something that, let’s face it, we’re all thinking.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Wow, a Pittsburgh sports fan dating a Boston sports fan? I’m sure their first child will be a box of Summer’s Eve.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:22 pm
“So it would be the ideal time for me to admit that for the past few months I’ve been seeing a girl who’s (GASP!) a Boston fan.”
I’m sure when you take her out to inflate her is the most cardio you’ve gotten since you moved down to your mother’s basement!
October 1st, 2009 at 2:27 pm
My take is you’re bragging online about your conquest. Eat a dick.
Or, y’know, I could have brought it up because I frequently hate on Boston fans on the site and now I’m going out with one. That’s what we usually do with these Meast posts – fill the opening with some personal anecdote or rant. Last week, Drew talked about his kid. OMG DREW’S JUST BRAGGING ABOUT BEING A DAD!
Wait, you’re just a jackass Ravens fan looking for a way to talk shit. Carry on…
October 1st, 2009 at 2:31 pm
So the Redskins lose to the Lions, and now the Meast award is rebranded from the Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week to this generic retread? Can it get any worse?
October 1st, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Brasky is right.
BRING BACK SEXY FRIDAY!
October 1st, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I hope he will purchase the foundering Jaguars
You mean “flounder” – Peter King
October 1st, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Its verbatim from last week’s mailbag, Ape. Calm down. Make her wear the jersey during, and try to induce a stroke.
October 1st, 2009 at 3:08 pm
This makes it official… absolutely no one watched Giants-Bucs.
I liked that part of the third quarter with about 5:00 left when the Buccaneers finally made a first down (their first one of the game!) and some Buccaneers fans gave them a standing ovation.
October 1st, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Its verbatim from last week’s mailbag, Ape.
Oh.
Uh, my bad.
Wait. You actually remember the shit we write?
/scans years worth of posts for incriminating information
October 1st, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Ape, is this girl you’re “seeing” an imaginary soldier who just died in Iraq?
Also, vowing swift death on my girlfriends NEVER works for me.
October 1st, 2009 at 3:23 pm
It’s ok Ape, I believe you. I too was once dating a chick from New England who never rooted for the Pats/Sawx around me until they started winning. That was the true beginning of the end for us when she started rooting for them.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I feel your pain; I too am in a relationship with a Bah-ston girl (well she’s actually from RI but went to school and lived in Bah-ston for a while…not to split hairs or anything). She’s not into sports AT ALL, but sometimes when the teams I root for are playing (and ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME when they’re winning) she’ll convert to super thundercunt Bah-ston fan…
Case in point: The 2009 NCAA Championship…Carolina’s beating Meeee-chigan State like a red-headed stepchild and I’m loving it…she meets me at the bar where I’m crowded in and drinking my face off with the rest of the alum/fans out here, complains about the noise/crowd/my incessant drinking/texting all my college boys/the shade of Carolina Blue/etc., then has the audacity to say once the final buzzer sounded, “Congrats, now you know how it feels to be a Pats fan.”
/needle across vinyl
You know, why am I even with this bitch?
October 1st, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Ape, your post reminded me of a Harry Knowles movie review. Except for the proper grammar and correct spelling, of course.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:15 pm
/lives in CT
//roommate is a Redsox fan
///also inexplicably a Cowboys fan
////most women around here are either Bah-ston fans or Yankees fans, equally bad
October 1st, 2009 at 6:24 pm
“And thank goodness the Lions won, because otherwise we’d be forced to give the Meast to goddamn Peyton Manning. Not that I hate the guy (I don’t) but of all the homer commenters who vent on this site, Colts fans are by far the most annoying dribblecunts when in comes to lobbying for their cherished Fetus Head to win our pointless and arbitrary weekly award.”
A couple of things:
1) Now I hate the Lions. So, thanks for that.
2) How many annoying dribblecunt Colts fans are there? Two? Three? Not like the Colts are, say, the Steelers or Redskins, who are a literal ARMY of annoying dribblecunts.
3) Say what you will, but most of you would give a testicle/ovary to have our cherished Fetus Head behind center on Sundays.
October 1st, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Thanks for illustrating my point, Monkey Business.
1. Seriously? Didn’t Peyton win the MVP last year (whether he deserved it or not)? And he definitely got the Super Bowl MVP when he shouldn’t have. And you’re bitching about a humor site stiffing him on a meaningless weekly award? Sweet Basejumping Jeebus…
2. While Colts fans may be fewer in number than, say, Steelers or ‘Skins fans, they manage to be shrill enough in their complaining about the reception of a player who is already universally gushed over by all forms of media that they’re just as annoying overall.
3. While I won’t argue that (The) Ben is an overall better QB than Peyton, he’s been in the league six fewer years and has one more ring – the first one he got by denying Peyton what was then his best shot at a title. So, yeah, that’s enough for me to want to hang on to both my balls.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:21 pm
I read this blog religiously and I honestly don’t remember any Colts fans complaining. And if there were, it sure as hell wasn’t me.
/yay Pey-Pey!
//half my fantasy team is the Colts
///massive homer and unashamed to admit it
October 1st, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Is this the girl pictured with you in a post tagged “accountability or something”?
October 1st, 2009 at 11:05 pm
@Christmas Ape
1) When things go as well as they have for Colts fans, you have to find things to bitch about. I mean, how many other franchises would trade 6 consecutive 12 plus win seasons and basically a guaranteed playoff berth? Seriously, we have the most boring offseason of any franchise in pro sports. So yeah, if I bitch about Peypey not getting Meast of the Week, it’s because I seriously have nothing else to bitch about. Also, totally not serious.
2) Yeah, I got nothing on that one.
3) In all fairness, en route to his first title Ben was saved by a literal shoestring tackle of Nick Harper (Colts CB who picked up the Bettis fumble), the Colts offensive line collapsing, and the most accurate field goal kicker in the NFL shanking a FG attempt as time expired. Of course, the Colts went on to win the Super Bowl the next year as the Steelers struggled to 7-9. Considering the Colts are 3-0 and the Steelers are 1-2, I’m feeling good about our chances this year. As for last year, well, I’m sure that the Cardinals being unable to catch a defensive lineman returning an interception for a touchdown had something to do with it. Not that I’m diminishing the Steelers accomplishments, but Big Ben has had a much better team around him during his Super Bowl runs than Peypey did during his early career. Having the Patriots in the way certainly didn’t help things.
It’s a humor blog, right? If you can’t take a joke, fuck you. Anyway, it’s all in fun. Keep up the good work.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Hoo boy, that was retarded. Let’s go FJM-style on you, MB
In all fairness, en route to his first title Ben was saved by a literal shoestring tackle of Nick Harper (Colts CB who picked up the Bettis fumble),
Ben was saved by a tackle that he made? I guess he saves himself everytime he completes a pass.
the Colts offensive line collapsing, and the most accurate field goal kicker in the NFL shanking a FG attempt as time expired.
Yeah, that’s a lot of excuses. Peyton must have really outplayed Ben that day, then.
/checks box score:
Roethlisberger – 2 TDs, 95.3 Rating / Manning – 1 TD, 90.9 Rating.
And that’s with what should have been a game-clinching Manning interception that was erroneous overturned (the NFL admitted as much two days later)
Of course, the Colts went on to win the Super Bowl the next year as the Steelers struggled to 7-9.
Then the Steelers won another title two years after that, while the Colts lost their first playoff game in consecutive years.
Considering the Colts are 3-0 and the Steelers are 1-2, I’m feeling good about our chances this year.
Hey, bully for you. How many times has Indy jumped out to good regular season record only to blow it in the playoffs?
As for last year, well, I’m sure that the Cardinals being unable to catch a defensive lineman returning an interception for a touchdown had something to do with it.
Also “having something to do with it”: the fact that Roethlisberger lead the team on a two-minute drive to win the Super Bowl. Another thing: James Harrison is a linebacker. Glad you don’t know dick about the league.
Not that I’m diminishing the Steelers accomplishments
Oh no, perish the thought.
but Big Ben has had a much better team around him during his Super Bowl runs than Peypey did during his early career. Having the Patriots in the way certainly didn’t help things.
But, but, you just bragged how the Colts have had six consecutive 12-win seasons and have one title to show for it. FIX YO CONTRADICTIONS!
October 1st, 2009 at 11:48 pm
See, I was trying to put together WYG for tomorrow and your retardery had to go and give me a reason to procrastinate. Jerk.
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:00 am
Did somebody say something about Ben’s QB rating?
/J.L. White whining
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:00 am
FIX YO PROCRASTINATIONS!
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:35 am
@Christmas Ape
Well played, sir.
Couple of things:
“Ben was saved by a tackle that he made? I guess he saves himself everytime he completes a pass.”
Had Big Ben not tackled Nick Harper, he would have gone untouched for the score, which would have put the Colts up 25-21, forcing the Steelers to drive for the game winning TD. Not saying they wouldn’t have gotten it, but it’s a pretty good stroke of luck. And yes, Polamalu got robbed. Even Colts fans went “Well, that’s the season.” But hey, were it not for Kimo Von Oelhoffen pulling a “sweep the leg” on Carson Palmer (accidental, sure, but still a great stroke of luck), the Steelers probably wouldn’t have made it out of Cincinnati.
“Then the Steelers won another title two years after that, while the Colts lost their first playoff game in consecutive years.”
Worth noting that the Colts lost Dwight Freeney in 2007 and couldn’t stop Billy Fucking Volek, and had Mike Scifres singlehandedly swing the game for the Chargers in 2008. Not that I’m bitter or anything.
“James Harrison is a linebacker.”
James Harrison, Steelers LB: 6ft, 242lbs.
Robert Mathis, Colts DE: 6ft2in, 245lbs.
Freddy Keiaho, Colts LB: 5ft11in, 226lbs.
So, while James Harrison may play Linebacker, he’s closer to a Defensive End in size. Also, worth noting that he plays outside linebacker, which in the 3-4 scheme Pittsburgh runs, is closer to a DE in job description than he is to a LB.
“Glad you don’t know dick about the league.”
Quick! What position does Ed Johnson play? Answer: why do you give a crap? He doesn’t play for the Steelers.
What position does Casey Hampton play? Answer: I don’t give a shit. He doesn’t play for the Colts. (NT, actually)
CONSIDER MY CONTRADICTIONS FIXED.
October 2nd, 2009 at 8:28 am
@ Monkey Business – No, you can keep the tard. I’m pretty sure there are a fair amount of teams who don’t want their quarterback to lead the league in turnovers.
@ Christmas Ape – You’re retarded for even acknowledging the aforementioned statement from Monkey Business.
October 2nd, 2009 at 8:30 am
“Ben is an overall better QB than Peyton”
Dude …….. I hate Peyton, but that shit is ridiculous.
October 2nd, 2009 at 8:42 am
@ MB – You don’t see anything fortuitous in Bettis’ fumble that led to that tackle?
October 2nd, 2009 at 8:48 am
Sigh.
An outside linebacker in the 3-4 does not equal a defensive end in the 4-3. Sorry. He may be of comparable size to the Colts undersized DEs, but you don’t see Freeney or Mathis dropping back into coverage very often. Why? Because Harrison is faster.
Also, Harrison was the Defensive Player of the Year last season. Ed Johnson is a pretty average interior lineman. Sorry, but James is a little better known around the league.
Worth noting that the Colts lost Dwight Freeney in 2007 and couldn’t stop Billy Fucking Volek, and had Mike Scifres singlehandedly swing the game for the Chargers in 2008. Not that I’m bitter or anything.
Please tell me you’re not blaming the opposing punter for a loss. Please.
Had Big Ben not tackled Nick Harper, he would have gone untouched for the score, which would have put the Colts up 25-21, forcing the Steelers to drive for the game winning TD.
And had the Polamalu interception been called correctly, the game would have been over before that ever happened, so let’s not dwell in hypotheticals too much.
Bigflu: “Ben is an overall better QB than Peyton”
Perhaps you’d like to go back and read what I actually wrote. I said he wasn’t, but he’s not so much of a drop-off that I’d surrender testicles, let alone anything to get Pey-Pey on my team.
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:26 am
So-what part of Boston is this blind girl from?
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:09 am
“Ben is an overall better QB than Peyton”
Yeah, this may be the stupidest thing ever written here. A lofty achievement, that.
Now, let’s drop this silly football argument and get back to busting Ape’s balls about his girlfriend.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:41 am
Man, as someone who’s had season tickets to Patriots games since 1991… the “people only care since they started winning” stereotype makes me really sad. Both because it’s true to some extent, and because I get lumped in with those assholes.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:57 am
Holmes never got the second foot down.
And at any rate it’s sad that the Steelers needed a last minute drive to beat the Cardinals.
/Michael Irvin’s Seniority still being a bitch
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Well, he never did.
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Pittsburgh Steelers, would you please report to NFL headquarters with your sixth Lombardi trophy.
Despite clear visual evidence to the contrary, we would like to rescind your championship because some Steelers-hating fuckwit on the Internet stubbornly clings the idea that Santonio didn’t get his second foot down on his winning touchdown catch.
We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience.
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I’m a Steelers hating Patriots fan who was openly rooting the Buzzsaw in that game… and that second foot was definitely down. It was a great catch, respect it as such.
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Actually, I was just giving a little crap for the Colts and Steelers argument.
Still, there are literally thousands of photographs of that catch and I’ve yet to see one that conclusively shows his foot down.
You guys spend a lot of time on the internet. Maybe you could Google one up that shows the second foot.
BTW, congrats on the new girlfriend.
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:15 pm
http://www.azcentral.com/members/Blog/FanBoy/45253
Second photo. Camera level to ground. Toe clearly touching.
Are you done wasting my time now?
I look forward to having this same pointless argument again probably some time next week.
/suffers fools gladly
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Hey, look! It’s the picture of that Patriots fan in the snow! Now it’s only been posted 188,195,373 times now!
Come up with some new material, fuckwit.
October 4th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Future Mrs Rick Ankiel – Xmas Ape – Ben Rongrastname…
Worst. Threesome. EVER
/Hines Ward dick joke
October 4th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
@Dirty 5:30 – Two words… Pussy Tubing
@Ape – I live here in the Crazy AZ (see what I did there) and even the most die-hard Cardinals fans (you’d have to be, to root for them) called that a catch, followed by the groan of AWWWWWW usually only heard when the Jets make a first round draft pick
/To me, beating double coverage with help from a third DB is a win, even if Santonio hadn’t gotten the second foot down
//Santonio-Ape-Ape’s GF-Big Ben train and/or dick joke