Your 4PM Open Game Thread
Oh, man. This is one awful slate of 4PM games. And we just had two five-star matchups in the 1PM slot. I hate it when the schedule is poorly balanced like this. Anyhoo, here we go with your late games:
Philly at Oakland: I have three Eagles starting in this game, and that still feels like an inadequate amount. I’d start Freddie Mitchell against the Raiders if he were still on the roster. Only Eagle not worth starting? Michael Vick. Because his presence on the Eagles is pointless, you see.
Arizona at Seattle: Uff vs. Leitch. Ufford spent four days in Vegas this week. FOUR DAYS. No one stays who in Vegas for longer than two days is ever pleased they did.
Tennessee at New England: I dropped Fred Taylor right before he put up 100 and touch the other week. Now he’s having surgery. PAYBACK’S A BITCH, FRED.
Bills at Jets: I was invited to attend this game. The forecast for the New York area today is 40’s and rain. I think staying home to bake blondies was a wise decision. Oh, blondies. You have my heart.
Tags: open threads
October 18th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
HOLY FUCKING SHIT, CBS. Did you really just cut away from 33-31 vikes with 1:37 to go in the 4th to bring me the start of the fucking Bills/Jets game? Taking me away from the end of what will probably end up being the most exciting game of the week? The one where the teams keep trading dramatic scores? TO SHOW ME THE OPENING KICKOFF THIS INEVITABLE SUCKFEST?
Jesus fucking Christ, I’m a lifelong Bills fan and this pisses me off. The only thing that keeps me fucking sane is the ability to watch competent football teams from time to time. FUCK YOU CBS. FUCK YOU.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
I was pleased to see the Saints game was on here in Baltimore, but now realizing that means no Eagles game, I’m pretty pissed off. Although I guess many residents of Baltimore are much happier not having to watch the Raiders.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
The weather in NYC is indeed displeasing. Hopefully Sanchez won’t shit the bed against Captain Checkdown & Co. the way that the Giants did.
Awww, who misses Stover now, Baltimore?!
October 18th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
snow game! sweet!
October 18th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Not enough chocolate in blondies.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
holy shit, CBS, get to the fucking NE game already. jesus, sell your shit on your own damn time.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Fuck, the Seahawks make me drink.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Why the hell does my local Fox station have on poker in the 4 pm slot? God I hope Fox loses the NFC contract. At least CBS puts out, even if it is crappy games.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Trent Edwards driving on The Great Rex Ryan Defense™? Unpossible.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Whether he wins or loses, this kicker is gonna remember that he stood tall when he faced BRETT FAVRE.
/Dierdorf’d
October 18th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Um…because CBS has the doubleheader this week.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Crap. I finally get to the Pats game, Brady gets sacked. eat me.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
@SafetyDan – its because there is some stupid rule about both stations having 2 games each during the day. Plus, regional coverage as well.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
For this fleeting moment, the Arizona-Seattle stats are a thing of beauty.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
@PirateSloth
Is this a new rule or am I senile? I swear there used to be two AFC games and two NFC games and I got to pick from one.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Who’s got the Eagles?
October 18th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
@Dan, only one network gets a doubleheader per week. This week it’s CBS.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
That’s it, I am going to be drunk by the end of the first quarter of this Seahawks game.
/fuck
October 18th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Okay, checked out Awful Announcing’s maps, and tiny little orange blocks have the Eagles. Sigh.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
What? No raisin roundies?
October 18th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
@Boatdrinks: I have the Pats and the fact that they have a snow plow in their hall of fame. Also I have my girlfriend home early from shopping and she wants to talk about the clothes she bought, urgh.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
The Jets are going to let the Bills walk all over them, aren’t they? Godammit.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Seattle is getting prison raped.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Nantz: “That won’t be the first time we’ll see that all day.” Yeah! Isn’t that the tr… wait, what?
October 18th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
@Safety – tell her to tell it to your dick while you watch football.
/there’s a reason I’m single
//and bitter
October 18th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Dank, I just looked at play by play on Espn. Godawful shit is too kind for what that game is right now.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Kool-Aid Maroney sighting!
October 18th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
@Sloth
She went next door for a few minutes, I’m wondering if I can rekey the locks during the next commercial break.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Finally, Maroney hits the hole and kills it.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Boatdrinks, just saw your comment on the other thread–where upstate are you? I’m in a Rochester TV market, and we lost the last two minutes or so of the Vikes game.
Also, did they just spend several minutes talking about how much of a weapon Roscoe Parrish is? THIS Roscoe Parrish? The one who’s already fumbled two punts this year?
October 18th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
@Safety – use the chain lock! That way she can still ‘talk’ to you.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Umm. Oakland 7, Philly 3. Yikes.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Nice tackling Philly.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
of course I picked the Eagles as my KSK suicide pick. Of course they are losing.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
typical raiders.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Dick Enberg is calling the Wildcat the Seminole d/t Leon Washington’s alma mater. Christ.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
@Boat: The Jets have been doing that all year. I think it’s in the Press Guide.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Fuck, I’m out of mixers for my rum, do I leave for 10 mins to walk around the corner to get soda or drink straight from the bottle?
/chugs from the bottle
October 18th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
welkah!
October 18th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
The Titans defenders look ready to slip and fall in the snow.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Hey Maroney, who played his college career in the Big 10 knows how to run the snow and ice? Shocking.
(Yeah, yeah, his home field was in a dome.)
October 18th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
@Sloth
Order a pizza and get a 2 Liter with the pie.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Thanks jmac. I was hoping Enberg wasn’t making shit up. He sounded awkward enough.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
The smudges on theCBS camera covering NE/TEN camera make it look like the Titans’ defense is slowly fading out of existence
October 18th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
@Safety
No pizza delivery here. It’s Hawaii.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Pirate, you got lime juice in the bottle in the fridge? Must have. Water, lime, rum. HAPPY!
October 18th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
There’s no pizza delivery on Hawaii? Is the closest Papa Johns in Seattle?
October 18th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
The Samoans ate the delivery boys enh? Tough it out to half time I guess man.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
You know, from time to time, I forget that our “starting” left tackle is Karl Malone’s illegitimate son. That should count as something, right?
October 18th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Not on the southside of the island. Pizza Hut is the closet to Hanapepe and it doesn’t deliver, its take out only.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Anybody old enough to remember MASH episodes? That ref talking into the mike sounded like the helicopter scenes. “WOP WOP WOP WOP WOP WOP”.
Sorry ref, did you say something I needed to know?
October 18th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
What is up in Seattle?
October 18th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
FAKE PUNT I LOVE YOU JOHN CARLSON
October 18th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
and Johnson’s run comes back. But horrible tackling, Patriots.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I refuse to believe that the raiders are competent.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Raiders score a TD? World will asplode next?
October 18th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
thats my quarterback! *sniff*
October 18th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
LENWHALE FAIL
October 18th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
The Titans should really stick a “100% Blue Agave” sticker or something on the football to ensure LenWhale hangs on to it.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
bwahahahahahahaha, LenWhale.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Billick just said “sugar huddle”
October 18th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
javon walker is still alive?
October 18th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
thanks a lot Matthew Hasselbeck.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
/leaves at 4:00 left to get rum and more rum and something to mix it with
October 18th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Bills pick. woo.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Anyone have the AZ game? What’s going on with the Seachickens?
October 18th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Nice to see the ‘real Pats fans’ in the Club level showed up in their snowsuits disguised as empty seats.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
PirateSloth:
Go to the bodega- cheaper, faster, and more variety (probably) plus you can get snacks.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
NO ONE DENIES THIS!
October 18th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
seattle is down 17-3
October 18th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
FLEA FLICKAH!
October 18th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
oh, the flea flickah!
October 18th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Well, Titans are done. Now what do I do? I need to get Sunday Ticket, pronto.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
@Diggler:
Independence Day on TBS, Jarhead on FX, porn on the internet
October 18th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Al Davis looks like he just got off the set of Zombieland
October 18th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Trent Edwards hurt. Maybe the Friday Five was right after all.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Oakland now ahead by 7 (10-3).
October 18th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Trent Edwards might actually be dead. KSK predicts the future.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Great catch, TO.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
What the hell happened to the Titans this year?
October 18th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
HOLY SHIT, MOSS!
October 18th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Moss is a man amongst boys out there!
October 18th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
yikes.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
And the Iggles still sucking. Pffft.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Wow. Worst excuse for dropping a pass ever: “the artificial turf got in my eye.”
Fuck you, T.O.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
The Titans organization didn’t really know what was meant by “throwbacks”, they thought they were supposed to take the PLAYERS from their inaugural season and have them play the Patriots. It never occurred to them to put the old jerseys on the CURRENT players.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Madden actually paid to watch the raiders?
October 18th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Fun fact: Kerry Collins is old enough to be the AFL’s father.
/Not really
//But know this, the AFL ISN’T really old enough to be his father
October 18th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Kerry Collins had one too many hot toddies.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
brownies > blondies
October 18th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Lenwhale being carted off. They could only get him up to the edge of the cart though.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
now, thats the jamarcus russell I know
October 18th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
@RBP: They had to hook a blondie to some fishing line to get him that far.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Pats might score 100
October 18th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
It has to be VY time now for the Oilers.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Ha ha! Nice awareness McNabb!
October 18th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
@sloth: haha.
The Patriots are scoring for fun now. Tom Brady is a kid out there in a snow! A gritty, lofty kid!
/trying to see if the Favraro schtick works with other “beloved” QBs.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Sanchez needs to stop throwing his back at people’s knees. Shit.
Also, there’s never a good reason to have your quarterback run that kind of bootleg on first down.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
@obit
Some KY probably wouldn’t hurt either to reduce the chafing.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
I benched Tom Brady this week. Got any of the rum left PirateSloth?
October 18th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Junior Seau is in the game. Playing with greater speed and energy than Collins.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Buffalo Bills defense: helping your team’s running back set multiple personal bests in a single game since FUCKING FOREVER.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
2nd Half starting, I got more rum, flirting shamelessly with girls 5,000 miles away from me, lets see how drunk the Seahawks make me and how big of an ass I can make myself today.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Ryan Fitzpatrick needs more JT O’Sullivan
October 18th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Oh shit, Randy Moss got HAMMERED
October 18th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
And that’s Moss’ last play of the game. guh.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
You think Edelman and Welkah have competitions to see which one is more white and gritty?
October 18th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
@ReggieBush’sPimp
Fuck Brady. That asshole will never, ever be beloved by me. Bemurdered, maybe.
The Jets and Eagles are really sucking badly. Even with that long run, the Jets are giving 12 men on the field, and allowing Buffalo – BUFFALO – to hang around. I’m close to considering Monday’s victory not so impressive anymore.
And Kris Jenkins is down.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Worst Beatles cover ever? Yes. Fuck you, Blackberry.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Christ… they can make it 45 before half
October 18th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Gandalfini looks like all the other Jets fans. Surprise surprise.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Holy God, Tennessee is pathetic.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
My liver might mutiny on me and walk out sometime during this Seahawks season.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Hoping Brady gets JACKKKKKKED just for being out there to run up the score on the hapless Titans. They know that the NFL does not have a BCS poll right?
October 18th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
why does TO look like such a pussy when he runs? all those crunches havent done anything?
October 18th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
@Reggie Bush
I never saw Brady as beloved. I saw him as a soulless killing machine that carves up defenses. I’ll also put Breesus in that category.
Beloved is Peyton or someone like that.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I’m with whichever idiot announcer said it… it’s your job to stop them. You don’t pull your starters in the first half because you’re “embarrassing” a team.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
holy jesus, that’s fucking dickish, Pats. I love it, but that’s going to get a bounty.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
It’s pretty retarded to keep your QB in the game after it has already passed for +300 yards, 3 TDs and has completed more than 80% of his passes, when he has just come from knee surgery and gets his pants crapped everytime someone touches him. Especially considering that Keith Bulluck is one ragy mutherfucker.
Also, he may catch a cold.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
@Slothrop
If I’m Jeff Fischer, I hate it in the sense I’m getting my ass handed to me on national TV, but at the same time I love it, because I’ll use game film to beat my defense over the head for the rest of the year in hopes they show up for a few games.
“Look assholes, learn the playbook or this happens again.”
October 18th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
i think Fischer called up Belichick and told him to unleash the dogs. Might be time for Jeff to call up some UFL players. Thank you Seattle Oline for taking the day off.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Oh for fuck’s sake, SanCHEZ.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Doing it in the NFL doesn’t make it any less unsportsmanlike. Running up the score is a dick move, and anyone that does it deserves to get at least a “defense blitz 11, doesn’t care if you score but they’ll hurt you” play. The natural analog to Bill Simmons’ “F-U” game.
However, you can’t run up the score in the first half. Second half, debatable up until the 4th…
October 18th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
I don’t believe that you have to pull your quarterback with a 45 point lead. But given the fact that you have a fucking 45 point lead, why wouldn’t you instead of running him back out there and letting whatever happens happen? A strictly self-interested coach still has every reason to pull Brady at some point, there doesn’t need to be a “code”.
Interestingly, one team in my fantasy league has Brady, Welker and Ray Rice. I’m hoping he breaks 200 points because it would be hilarious and he’s not playing against me.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
However, you can’t run up the score in the first half. Second half, debatable up until the 4th…
I agree with the beginning of this premise. Especially in the NFL.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Holy shit, Buffalo. Can we get through a single fucking game this season without you stupid fucks giving a punt back to the other team? Christ on a fucking bicycle, you incompetent dicks.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
It’s official. My liver is going to beat the shit out of me soon.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Patriots :45
Jeff Fisher’s Job : 0
/is a Bears’ fan and would like to see that scraggly, walrus-looking hobo gainfully employed
October 18th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
@Sloth
Change up the liquors, keep your live off balance and guessing. It can’t attack if it is on the defensive.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
When does CBS pull away from Nantz and Simms and go to the Meadowlands? Start of 4th?
October 18th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Why are Nantz and Simms even doing Pats/Titans? Did anyone really think that would be the best game on CBS this week?
October 18th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
@Sloth
Assuming Brady gets sat down, midway through the third once Bill has the 3rd stringers in.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Collins is still gonna be in there? Good God, Vince Young, when will you get the message? I bet the UFL could use you.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
@Safety
When the Seahawks go 0-8 on 3rd downs, my liver isn’t going to be fooled that I’m drinking heavily.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Damn suicide pick-ass Eagles
October 18th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
also, how many FFB points does Tawmy have at this point? (ESPN scorin) at least 65, right?
October 18th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
34 in ESPN right now
October 18th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
oh, right, 4 points for td passes, not 6 like in my league.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
When Laurence Maroney is running OVER you… it might be time to turn in a Man Card
October 18th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Fucking Bellichick. Have some class, asshole.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
wow. 10 minutes left in 3rd.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
I just went to the Jets on CBS.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Fuck, Mora is challenging a spot for a first down WHEN ITS USELESS TO.
/cries a little inside
October 18th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Bill Belichick doesn’t care about black people.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Fisher and the Titans are wearing diapers this week after getting fucked in the ass this hard. Jesus.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
The announcing crew for the NE-TN game have a hushed, funerial tone.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
CBS switched the DFW region from NE/TEN to J E T S…. I’m wishing they would have waited for Brady to throw his 7th
October 18th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Sanchez aint goin pussytubin with throws like that.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Lofty doesn’t work for Mexicans, Nacho…
October 18th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Sanchez keeps the game close. We had enough of that from Favre last season.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Ugh I HATE LIVING IN NEW ENGLAND. Although that fourth-down play for the Titans was a thing of beauty. What was that a loss of 27?
/just had to eat dinner among a bunch of Welkah fans.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
im getting killed right now. I’m playing against my friend, and he has Brees, Rodgers, T. Jones, Benson, Fitty. My only hope is Gates for 3 TD, Sproles for 4 TD, 200 yards, and Forte with 150 yds, 2 TDs. In other words, not gonna happen.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Hoyer in for Brady. No 7 TD game for Tawmy… Maroney 6th career 100-yard game.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
You know your defense sucks when Maroney ran for over 100 yards on you…
On other news, it’s the 4th quarter in Oakland and the Raiders are still up…
October 18th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
I think after the Pats game, LenWhale is going to go back to hittin the Patron.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
0:11 to go in the 3rd, Pats QB sneak to go up by 59
October 18th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
El Floto by Nacho… Bills may make a game of this
October 18th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
Somebody might want to tell Sanchez that he’t not throwing the ball in Southern Cal right now… the Meadowlands wind might, you know, flutter the ball a bit
October 18th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
This is not a lofty display of poise Sanchez.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
You’re not lofty, Sanchez. You can’t do grit, and you can’t do lofty. Keep handing the ball to Jones or Washington please.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Awesome, 3rd and 31.
fuck
October 18th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
What the hell is happening out in Oakland?!
October 18th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Need a pick 6 from the Eagles D here, no confidence in Mcnabb.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Lofty quarterback play is the theme of this Jets shitfest.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
What the hell is happening out in Oakland?!
About 1/3 of all remaining suicide pool players are about to lose?
October 18th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Your man Fitzpatrick is not an abortion of a quarterback–why he’s after playing adequately.
/fook the English!
October 18th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
My. Dear. Lord. Breesus.
It’s the middle of the 4th and Oakland is… wait, let me get this right. Leading?
Thank God I didn’t put a parlay this week. It just didn’t feel right… and now I know why.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Lee Evans unFail!
October 18th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
The fact Philly is crapping it up makes me feel better about the fact that David Garrard nearly shit in my suicide pool’s bed today.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Anyone have a description of the V. Young pickeration???
October 18th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Lee Evans…touchdown?
October 18th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Looks like we might have a game in NYJ/BUF. Fuck.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
I have to take this abuse of the Cards scoring once more before I can change over to the Raiders game to be amazed.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
this is probably the first and only time Im rooting for the eagles and mcnabb.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Vince Young has just got his first pass of the season intercepted by a chinaman.
Oh boy, they’re going to put +70 on them, are they?
October 18th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
and an INT for Vince. Well done, young man.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Nantz thinks that QB rating is farcical because by that measure, Brady is only considered about 96% perfect (a rating of 152) instead of perfect. “GOD FORBID. How dare these nerds underestimate the magnificence of the Dreamboat? GET OUT OF YOUR MOTHER’S BASEMENT AND LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL MAN.”
October 18th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Gritty asian safety rookie player with the TAINT
October 18th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Lee Evans…. pffft…. TO could have dropped that…
October 18th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Titans currently are a cumulative 2 or 14 passing or NEGATIVE 7 yards and 2 picks. Sweet fucking god.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Where is Sanchez’s poise this week?
October 18th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
The Eagles kicked a FG inside the Raiders’ 30, down 7 and with 6 minutes to go…
Welcome back Andy Reid, we missed you.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Is it possible to have a negative QB rating???
October 18th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
The only valid measure of a quarterback is the number of boners he gives me (per pass attempt).
October 18th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Chase Utley is dressed up like Donovan McNabb today…
October 18th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
The fuck? There’s another quarter? Jebus this game is going to go on forever.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
@phreshone: The minimum passer rating is 0. The minimum passer rating for a QB who did not throw an interception (obviously not applicable in the Tennessee game) is 39.6. The highest rating possible is 158.3. Someone earlier said that Tawmy got 98% of that. I’m wondering what category he fell short in.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Why do the Eagles think they can win by trying to give to someone not named Westbrook?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
Poise. He has none.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
Another lofty pickeration of a Nacho Floto
October 18th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
To be fair to the Titans’ QBs, the weather was miserable and it was very difficult to get any yards in the passing game due to the conditions.
/looks at other column of game stats
Oh.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Sanchez sucks. There, I said it.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
snafu… take a +1… or a -7 for that one, either way.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
and the Titans fumble again. Junior Seau recovers. unbelievable.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
If Oakland can kill the clock, they win.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Seau fumble recovery. I didn’t see it, but I will assume that everyone else on the field didn’t want to be in a pile with him.
/Junior Seau is a gay
October 18th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Wow, Andy Reid just helped me out in the suicide pool. I wonder how I can reward him…buy his son some meth?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
XD at the Wikipedia article on Passer Rating:
There have been 34 quarterbacks to complete a game with a perfect passer rating of 158.3 (and only six to have accomplished this more than once), the most recent one being Mike Hunt, in 2009.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
thats the last time i pick the eagles to win anything. FUCK YOU MCNABB
October 18th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
You know… WAS lost (yeah, big whoop), but also PHI and NYG.
Somewhere in Baja (or wherever), Romo is smiling.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Pats punt !!1!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Eagles game over?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Sergio…. somewhere the Double J is smiling… but that’s mostly due to the plastic surgeries
October 18th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Time to start screaming J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS.
Except in Spanish.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
THE EAGLES LOST!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
That reduces the sting somewhat of the Giants getting raped.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Nacho and the Jets are going to start deep in the guacomole at their own 3
October 18th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Can we hook up the commentators to electrodes and shock them anytime they say something completely obvious, or totally asinine?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
KSK suicide pool is cut in half, my prediction. Thanks for showing up Oakland.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Looks like the Titans may hold the Pats below 60…
October 18th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Patriots for over 600 yards on offese.
Hey, great job Jeff Fisher.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Chris Johnson’s had a good game!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
@ Lou Holtz
If we’d had that, Madden would have caused the worst electrical fire ever in human history, as well as the largest blackout in human history.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Yeah, the Titans shutout the Patriots in the 4th quarter!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
My prediction for the Titans as the 2008 Jags of 2009 is…wow, even worse than I thought.
And goddammit, Raiders. Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. More Eagles FAIL than Raiders FTW, but a W is a W–just ask the Titans.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
NOTHING is making me happier than seeing “San-CHEZ” toss four picks! Here’s hoping the national media gets off his nuts long enough…
(Puts hand to ear piece.)
Wait. What’s that? You mean I have the Jets in my suicide pool this week? Oh…
COME ON, YOU MAGNIFICENT MEXICAN SUPERSTAR!!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
So Reggie Corner plays corner for the Bills? and this is the first i’ve heard of it? i’m pretty upset that this wasnt made obvious to me by any blogs. also, fuck the eagles. i changed my pick from packers to eagles in all 3 of my knockout pools this morning thinking that detroit might be able to score and worrying about the GB o-line. Fuck…
October 18th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Did Dick Enberg really just say that Sanchez has never played in weather this cold?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Listening to Dick Enberg and Dan Fouts call the Jets/Bills game is like listening to my grandpa explain Google Wave. And he’s dead.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
The national media thinks that ‘Sanchise’ is the first hispanic to play QB… they may want to look up Jim Plunkett
October 18th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
The Titans needed a mercy call from the refs or they’d have managed to blow their fourth-quarter shutout with… a twenty-something yard safety.
It’s awe-inspiring.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
ATTENTION CBS: We get it. The little yellow boxes show how many timeouts are left. No need to use the telestrator to tell us that.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
HURRAY!!! Now that the relentless ass-fucking of the Titans by the Patriots is over, I and the city of Providence get to join the rest of the world and see the Buffalo Jaurons choke away their game.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
@PirateSloth – Electrical fire or not, I think it would be fun.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
I was actually thinking of watching soccer on a football Sunday, that’s how bad that game was. HOOOOOLY FUCK. Thank God it’s over. I mean really, I am thankful to whatever higher power is out there that the game is finally, finally done. I can’t overstate that enough. It’s like if getting a mallet taken to my balls was a type of football game, it would be that one.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Why didn’t Jauron spike it and run another play before the timeout-field goal sequence?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Is the kick coming up in the Buffalo game into the wind?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Wide Left.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
The Jets losing (yeah, screw the jinxing) is a great icing on a super delicious cake of a day.
AND IT’S NO GOOD!!! YAY FOR THE JINX!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Pussytubing postponed. To OT we go!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
zOMG…what the fuck did he just say? *ZAP*
October 18th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Good job Rex Ryan on not being a douche and trying to ‘ice’ the kicker.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Figures, with how long this game has been going, he’d miss and they’d go into OT.
TAKE THE WIND
October 18th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Hey Dick… settling for a 46 yarder in the Meadowlands is not exactly smart football…. DICK
October 18th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
YEAH MOTHERFUCKER!!!
I think Jauron might actually cry.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
When did Jauron activate Scott Norwood?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
If there ever was a game that summed up what it was to be a jets fan…
October 18th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Either Thomas Jones will break out for a wicked run, or Dirty Sanchez will throw a stupid pick. I’m calling it now.
C’mon Pussytubers.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Wasn’t Plunkett Native American?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Why do they need to show us the OT rules. Are there people out there not named McNabb who don’t know them?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Plunkett was born to Mexican American parents with an Irish-German great-grandfather on his paternal side. Plunkett’s father was a news vendor afflicted with progressive blindness, who had to support his blind wife along with their three children.[1] In an effort to aid the family’s financial situation, Plunkett worked a series of odd jobs while growing up, including serving as a gas station attendant, grocery store clerk and as a laborer on construction sites. In an acknowledgement of his Mexican roots, Plunkett chose the fictional character of Zorro as his hero.[1]
Assuming Wikipedia can be trusted. My bad.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Don’t tell the players that’s all it takes to get out of this suckfest – they are all gonna throw punches now.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Rex Ryan to his assistants: TAKE A NOTE, 44 IS EXCLUDED FROM PUSSY TUBIN’.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Braylon put extra effort in to get to the pussy tubin’
October 18th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Plunkett as Native American was what I remember when I was a kid, but when I did some research last week, (including a 1970 Time story), his background came up as Mexican American
October 18th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Posluzny is faking it. He just wants to hits the showers.
Frankly, I don’t blame him.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Why do trainers always hump the poor guy who’s lying on the ground injured? I mean, couldn’t they at least wait until they were back in the locker room?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Tom Brady looked like Teen Wolf taking a run at Heidi Montag out there today! NO ONE DENIES THIS!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Cmon Sanchez, give me the pickerception.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Ugh. He’s out “with a shoulder”?
One would hope so, dumbass. At least.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Feeley?
Ryan has enormous balls, or the fat has clogged up some neurons.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Does it seem like a good idea to trust Feely to win this?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Whenever announcers say that, it reminds me of Wannstedt: “Yeah, Uh, Uh, yeah, he’s got an ankle”. “Uh yeah Burnsy, he’s got a shoulder.”
/fuck Wanny
October 18th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
The whole team is getting in on the pick action!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Holy fuck. This game is pitiful.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Rex… WTF
October 18th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
The fuck was that?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Schadenfraude!!!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
What. The. Fuck.
I think we’ve found our next tie game.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
W…T…F?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
*giggles*
MOAR FEWTBAWH!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
FUMBLE!!!!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Hahahahahahah!
I thought the Giants being anally raped by the Saints would ruin my day, but that Jets fake field goal made it better.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Worst fake in the history of anything.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Can the refs do everyone a favor and just call this a loss for both teams?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
buffalo wild wings customers strike again!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
+1000, synaptic. Fuck Wanny with an umbrella.
/cuz, you see, if you then open it… oh forget it.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
This game needed more Joe Theisman saying “That’s why it’s always a good idea to have a QB as the place holder…”
October 18th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
This is what hell is like. Only there are no cheerleaders.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
bwahahahahahaaaaa. The Jets humor just keeps on giving.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
F-A-L-S-E S-T-A-R-T! Jets! Jets! Jets!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Yes, it’s quiet in the stadium, no one is there anymore.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
It looked like Sanchez was crying on that shot. He’s not the only one.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Please… make it stop…. Good GOD man! Show some Mercy!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Sanchez is the Second Coming of Brett Favre.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
I love the SanCHEZ pronunciation. Like, “Hello, lover, it is I, Mark SanCHEZ, here to bring you to heights of womanly pleasure heretofore unknown.”
October 18th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Whenever your divisional rivals suck this much simultaneously, an angel gets his wings.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
…and I mean that in the worst possible way.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
TO is still in this game? Thanks Dan Fouts, I’d forgotten all about him, just as I knew I would when he signed with Buffalo.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Good day for people in fantasy leagues that give points for wasting minutes of my life…
October 18th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Goddamn Jets. But…PICKERCEPTION!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
T.O. hasn’t found much love in Buffalo’s many trailer parks.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
…and all is again right with the universe. For a split second there, I thought that somebody was going to out-fuckup the Bills.
Then again, there’s still plenty of time for the Sanchise to forget which jersey he’s wearing again…
October 18th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Wow, that was a LOT of excitement on Buffalo’s part for the Jets false start.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
This game seriously needs to end in a tie.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Well played Fitzpatrick…
Your move, SanCHEZ.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
FINALLY the other team throws a pick….
/ANOTHER false start by the Jets
COCK!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Have number 6 killed, Smithers.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Jesus fucking chirst Enberg, stop fucking referring to Sanchez as the 22 year old, or the youngest player on the Jets roster, or rookie – WE FUCKING KNOW ALREADY.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
He’s # 6 because that’s how many picks he throws today.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
SanCHEZ!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
DIE. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
October 18th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Hey, everybody… When Dan Fouts talks, picture his voice coming out of a muppet. It’s awesome.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Brilliant. Fucking. Brilliant. Your move, Fitzpatrick.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Sanchez is now forever banned from official team pussytubing.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
@Tank: Thank God he’s not number 9.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Your move, SanCHEZ.
He heard you. Sixth turnover.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
SanCHEZ gets inTERcepted.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Oof. Is that four picks for Dirty, or five?
October 18th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Well played Fitzpatrick…
Your move, SanCHEZ.
I see SanCHEZ won’t go down without a figth…
Go on FitzPatrick.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
@These .45s, God bless you.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
seriously, Fitzy, you have TO. Throw the slant.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
A tie would be a blow to the Bills? How, exactly? Would it mar their otherwise ideal 1-4 standing?
October 18th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
That’s SEIS interceptions. It is hispanic heritage month, after all.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
He probably has a hand up his ass already.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Hear that sanCHEZ? You’re just like Joe Namath! Keep that chin up!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
“That’s SEIS interceptions.”
Ay caramba. I undersold him.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Shot of Lindell taking off his warming pants: priceless.
Then again, he is a kicker.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Has Greg Easterbrook mentioned that Fitzpatrick and Dick Jauron both attended Ivy League schools? I can’t read his self aggrandizing tripe anymore.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
After sanCHEZ’s performance tonight, I want the Miami DC’s head.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
LEE FUCKING EVANS!!!!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
oh, careful there. that was almost a TD that would have ended the game.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Willie Mays style? Really?
October 18th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
I think the ref just wants to go home.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
GoesTo11
Thet NYJ punter has one pickerception
October 18th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
That’s got to be a catch just to get us out of here.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
my head is going to explode
October 18th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
Leave it alone, let the BIlls win and let’s all move on to the Atlanta game
October 18th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
I hate this fucking rule. You don’t know what the hell is a catch anymore.
He doesn’t have “complete control”, but fuck me, that’s a beautiful catch.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
I don’t think he made a FOOTBALL MOVE.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
Just give him the catch and put this sad game to an end. Please.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Fouts, you are an ass. No, really, you are.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Potential sitcom pilot: That’s My Caveat starring Dan Fouts.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
Those guys at Buffalo Wild Wings are taking a long time to give an answer to the refs.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
end this abortion. its a catch. pls.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
Oh fuck me.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
October 18th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
oh jeebus. that’s terrible. Let the boy catch your forward pass!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
Enberg, he said the feet weren’t down you ass.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
Fucking Lee Evans.
/all is normal now
October 18th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
That rule is bullshit. He has the ball, it didn’t hit the ground. Catch.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
This just in… both these teams have been absorbed into the UFL.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
FUCK YOU TO DEATH AND DARKNESS, REFEREES!!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Rian Lindelll Fail x2? One can only hope.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Wide Right.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Way to play for another 46+ yarder, DICK… please be wide right
October 18th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
so will this kick be short or wide? (or blocked)
October 18th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Dicky J apparently learned nothing from his previous 40+ fg attempt
October 18th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Fucking stupid rule and fucking stupid call. You can’t see shit in that blurry video. It’s a catch.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
….And the UFL just dropped them. Says the UFL, “Come on, even we have standards”
October 18th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
ZOMG SO IRONIC DAN FOUTS SO IRONIC
Someone fucking fire that dumbass already.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
No Bills deserve this. I don’t know why. I hate the Jets more I guess.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Miracle of miracles. Hallelujah!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
THIS JUST IN! PUSSYTUBING HAS BEEN CANCELED!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
It’s only an upset in the sense we are upset we watched this abortion of a game.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Almost wide right
/Bills can’t do anything right
October 18th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
HOLY SHIT YES
October 18th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
October 18th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
It is…..gOOOoodd…nice call Dick. I want some fries with that.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
awesome. there will be pussy tubing in upper NY!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
IT’S OVAAAHHHH!!!!!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
The pussy tubes left without the Jets.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Pirate: Fire or Firebomb?
October 18th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Did Jauron just say my job is safe for another week?
October 18th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
And now… baseball!
/flees
October 18th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Was Enberg autotuning when he said, “It’s good!”
October 18th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Oh sweet merciful Christ. Its over.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
now for some Matty Ice and Cutlerfucker pickerception drama
October 18th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Thank god the dumpster-fire was finally put out…
October 18th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Worst of the day:
Jets Bills?
Oakland Philly?
Titans Pats?
Saints Gints?
October 18th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Tiki you fucking tard…ge the guy’s name right at least.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Mark Sanchez went PaInt-ing.
/glad he didn’t start him because of the “favorable matchup”
October 18th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
I’m really glad they cut they ending of Ravens/Vikings so we could witness that in its entirety.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Were any of you aware NBC covers the Olympics? I didn’t think so.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
alright Mr. Gonzalez. You’re my last hope.
/good lord Faith looks good.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Instead of that lame incorporating the teams in the song every week, Faith Hill should take it in both ends from the nose tackle of each team. Much more interesting.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Dick Jauran should get a 6 year extension for that game alone. Schadenfreude is perverse, but then again, so am I.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
it’s a cutlerception!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
BOOM WOOOAHHHH STA STAMP!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Are we going to have another Bill-Jets in Atlanta?
October 18th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Seriously, they’re going to have to rename this “Black Sunday” because this was the worst set of football games I’ve ever seen. Most of them were unwatchable. The ones that weren’t were only because they were so bad as to be hilarious.
/hates bye week
//needs him some Pey Pey