When David Met Mickey
10.15.09
David Carr: Oh, wow! Mickey Rourke! So nice to meet you, sir! I’m such a big fan! I hope we were able to put on a little show for you out here today.
Mickey: Listen to me, kid. You been around this business as long as I have, they’re gonna try and take your FUCKING INTEGRITY. YOUR FUCKING SOUL. Don’t fucking let them do that. Don’t let them take your heart. You stay true to your fucking self, young Chad Michael Murray.
David: It’s David.
Mickey: Whatever. Just… sometimes this town will treat you like the fucking OCEAN. They’ll just keep throwing crap inside you: rocks, garbages, old cocks. And they’ll expect you to keep on rolling. You know what the fuck I mean?
David: Not really.
Mickey: (grabs his lapel) I’M TALKING ABOUT FUCKING HONOR, BROTHER. Gotta have fucking honor. Through everything. Through the cocaine.
David: I don’t do cocaine.
Mickey: And the booze.
David: I don’t drink.
Mickey: And the pills.
David: I usually only take Tylenol if my knee acts up, but I don’t play too often for that to happen. Plus, I go down way before the defensive end can get a clean hit. It’s how I stay so healthy.
Mickey: And the whores.
David: I don’t visit whores.
Mickey: You don’t visit whores? The fuck kinda man are you? You can learn a lot from a whore. They’ve seen and sucked enough things to know the score.
David: Well, usually, I just like to spend evenings in with my wife, Melody, and read Bible passages.
Mickey: You got a girl named Melody and she ain’t a whore?
David: No, sir.
Mickey: How the fuck is that possible? Is she from Iceland?
David: No, sir.
Mickey: YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO ME, little Wentworth Miller. You come into this industry young, dumb, and full of cum. You think it’s gonna last forever. But it don’t. Only thing that lasts forever is the REGRET. I remember Bobby De Niro and worked together on the set of Angel Heart, and he told me something I’ll never forget. Know what he said?
David: No.
Mickey: He said, “Mick, you don’t have to eat the shit they lay out for the lunch buffet. Go right to the catering van window, and they can custom make a breakfast burrito for you.” NOW YOU FUCKING TAKE THE TIME TO ABSORB WHAT THAT MEANS.
David: Okay.
Mickey: You’ve made a nice really nice picture here today, kid. It’s got drama and fucking realism. DON’T LET THEM FUCK WITH YOUR PICTURE.
David: This isn’t a film set. It’s an actual game.
Mickey: THAT’S EXACTLY HOW YOU SHOULD PREPARE YOUR ROLE. That Method shit’ll kill ya. But that’s how you crawl into the anus of a character. Don’t let them fuck with that. DON’T LET THEM THROW THEIR SHIT INTO YOUR WAVES, BROTHER.
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So can we get the KSK fact check team on that David Carr twitter account that 289 dug up. And by fact check team, I mean dick joke brigade commenters like myself–except not actually myself, I’m a busy man.
So when does David Carr get the tattooes to break his brother out of prison??
/still remembers that show not sucking in the first year
You definitely don’t have to eat that shit they lay out for the lunch buffet. You grab yourself a soup bone, some bacon, some veggies…baby you got a stew goin’.
/Hot Ice with Anne Archer
This made me smile on a day I found out my car will need $1000 in repairs.
/Curses girlfriend who hit a curb… really hard.
@UU: Really? That says it all!
Did Mickey comb his hair with a pork chop?
Mickey: “Drinks for ALL my friends”…jumps over bar and gets his ass kicked by Frank Stallone again.
David: If our lead gets any bigger, Coach said he’s gonna put me in the game.
Mickey: I got a serious question for you: What the fuck are you doing? This is not shit for you to be messin’ with. Are you ready to hear something? I want you to see if this sounds familiar: any time you try a decent play, you got fifty ways you’re gonna fuck up. If you think of twenty-five of them, then you’re a genius… and you ain’t no genius.
David: No sir, I am not. I am no genius.
Wow – Mickey is looking surprisingly clean and sober in that shot. (Speaking of blown out old celebrities with reptilian skin, next up should be David Lee Roth on the Raider sidelines…)
@ Biggus Rickus:
Can we throw Buzz in just for good measure?
@Otto Man: Why does your avitar keep changing?
/I notice these things
//I don’t have a life
Could Carr start in Oakland??
I’m not sure he sucks enough to attract the attention of Al Davis.
So the jets get pussytubing rex ryan and nacho and the giants get a fucking pussy whipped jesus lover and elisha.
/still happy to be a giants fan
//fuck the jets
Could Carr start in Oakland??
Hey Davie, want some popcorn?
20 seconds after this was taken, Justin Tuck sacked Carr, thinking he still played for the Texans.
Needs more Eric Roberts
I wonder if Mickey (who is shooting Iron Man 2 right now) really thinks there is a superhero named Iron Man.
Amazingly enough, it wouldn’t surprise me if he does. Not at all.
A bit disappointed that Mickey didn’t sound like Bigfoot from the Fitty bits.
/throws old cock into ocean
Micky Rourke spending the first 6 years of his life in Schenectady, NY explains a lot.
You don’t visit whores? The fuck kinda man are you? You can learn a lot from a whore. They’ve seen and sucked enough things to know the score.
True words. Lofty words. And even better if you saw last night’s awesome episode of South Park
/know what I’m saying?
Keep ‘em coming, more Rourke or any other intense actor/player combo. Biggus’ list is a great place to start.
The best part of any production day is the breakfast burrito.
Mickey: You don’t visit whores? The fuck kinda man are you? You can learn a lot from a whore. They’ve seen and sucked enough things to know the score.
If thats not funny then Richard Fitzwell isn’t a douche.
@Biggus and gary: Yes. Four times, yes.
Alright, unless someone bothered making one for his wife or she’s dumb enough to follow a fake Carr then it just might be real.
http://twitter.com/qbandme
Mickey: He said, “Mick, you don’t have to eat the shit they lay out for the lunch buffet. Go right to the catering van window, and they can custom make a breakfast burrito for you.”
That killed me. Sounds like exactly the kind of thing de Niro would say, too.
“I would like to see a panel discussion with Mickey Rourke, Gary Busey and Nick Nolte hosted by Larry King.”
That is more chicklet teeth than one room could handle.
This is so… so… so…. something that I want it to really be him. http://twitter.com/DavidCarr8
My wife said when asked if she could describe my time in houston in one word it would be..”.Concust”..lol!
Fucking brilliant. “Is she from Iceland?”
@Biggus Rickus: count me in.
we want more Rex Ryan!
Mickey Rourke should have played Cappy in Any Given Sunday. Would have totally not let Steamin Willie Beamon take his job. Could you imagine LT and Rourke on the same imaginary team together? They’d of done more lines than a plaid shirt.
I would like to see a panel discussion with Mickey Rourke, Gary Busey and Nick Nolte hosted by Larry King.
I keep waiting for the point where this posts turns from sad and creepy into something funny. Glad I packed a lunch.
They let Carr dress out..?