Were You Aware? Breast Cancer is a Disease the NFL Exploits for Cheap Positive PR
The Ratbirds and the Greatriots mark the lone interesting match-up of the early slate on this, the pinko Sunday. The Ravens lead the AFC in scoring (playing Kansas City and Cleveland at home in two of your games will help with that) yet have scored a total of six points in their two previous trips to Foxboro. Meanwhile, Welkaaahhh is returning! So long Jewkah! Dr. Underneath has to make his rounds.
/has 2012-esque fantasy of ground opening up and swallowing the stadium during this game
Sweet jizzing robot Jesus, the rest of these early games suck.
Also, that’s Breast CANCER Awareness Sunday, Berman.
Freudian slips are a tragic upshot of deux-deux-deux abuse.
Battle for Ohio! Winner gets the loser’s squalor!
Edgerrin James returns to Indy! Nate Burleson is a fantasy stud. What enticing storylines to get me to tuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Injuries have forced me to choose between starting Chad Henne and Matt Cassel on one of my fantasy teams. The difference between the three and negative two points I get could be a critical one. C’mon Giants, let’s give up a first down before midway through the 3rd quarter.
Gay Zorro ripped the Raiders this week, telling the world what it already knew about the organization’s numerous dysfunctions. Meanwhile, the Raiders travel to Houston and if Nnamdi could somehow allow Matt Schaub’s torrid pace to continue apace, it’d be greatly appreciated.
Greg Olsen’s mom was once diagnosed with breast cancer, but Jay Cutler’s never been let into a threesome with her and the tight end, so he’s all, “Yeah, that’s bad, I guess. She gonna be all right. I mean, I dunno. I’ve been through worse. Whatever.”
UPDATE: Oops. Forgot to fob off a line about the forgettable Jags-Titans contest. IT’S ONLY BECAUSE JACK DEL RIO WOULDN’T LET ME!
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93 Responses to “Were You Aware? Breast Cancer is a Disease the NFL Exploits for Cheap Positive PR”
I thought the same thing when I saw the Double J/Mayne piece. “You like popcorn son? Ever had Texas popcorn? It’s got chili on it” I kept waiting for him to just yell out “WOOO HOOO I’M CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER” at some point in that.
Not that I understand what Pey-Pey is saying, but it’s pretty cool that we can hear the audio for his line calls. Of course, it’s unfair when they play Brady’s.
@Slothrop – I reckon I should give Fifth Business a try. I’m reading it in a group at teachers college right now and I’m the only person in my group who hasn’t read fifth business, so it’s nice having a different background reading the book.
Just watched the local post-game show. Ten minutes of Moss talking about how the team had heavy hearts today because breast cancer gets all the best bitches. Wait, did I just say that? Fuck, I’m sliding into the abyss.
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
October 4th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Oh good God, please someone else tell me you just saw Kenny Mayne and Jerry Jones on ESPN. How did KSK sneak in that script?
October 4th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
to be fair to Berman, every day is breast awareness day.
October 4th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I wonder who else’s name is behind that shitty sign.
October 4th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Is it just me or does “Flacco’s #1 fan” look kind of like The Ben?
October 4th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
@Fiddling
I saw that and wondered the same damn thing…I am pretty sure Jerry Channeled KSK Jerry Jones with that piece.
October 4th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
I thought the same thing when I saw the Double J/Mayne piece. “You like popcorn son? Ever had Texas popcorn? It’s got chili on it” I kept waiting for him to just yell out “WOOO HOOO I’M CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER” at some point in that.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Frank Caliendo did a Andy Rooney bit on the FOX pregame show. But why?
October 4th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
I love Chris Carr. Thanks for not signing with the Steelers, asshole.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Oh, it’s a FUMBLE! Go Pats!
October 4th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Nantz calls out a reach-around. Not for the first time, I imagine.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
and red zone failure again.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB125417474811047435.html?mod=WSJ_hps_RIGHTTopCarousel
I beg someone, please kill this bloated, self-indulgent shit. With words.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
I never understand how teams give a 10-yard cushion to Mason. Do people actually think he’s going to beat them deep?
October 4th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
i love that the Redskins suck so much. Collectively the Redskins bloggers have to be the most annoying ones on the internet. Cept for Maj, he’s funny.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Anyone else having trouble signing into ESPN FF games?
October 4th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
@Ape: that message apparently not getting through to Foxboro.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Cutler just attempted suicide at the goaline
October 4th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
hey maroney. end zone’s that way.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Moss’ lazy blocking only lead to one 1st down there. If he was really trying, he’d block for 2 first downs on each play.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Frank Walker still talking shit. At least he isn’t getting away with spitting in the opposing kicker’s mouth.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Ray Lewis didn’t make the play of his career there.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Did you see him running like he made a big play? He did stop Morris for only 2 yards. On 4th and 1.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Stabby doing a nice job of trying to strip runners, falling down, and then jumping on the pile when someone else makes the tackle.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Stabby tops it off with a late hit on a sliding QB
October 4th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Tom Brady’s a running threat! You have to account for his legs.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
uh oh, TB in the locker room.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Yep, 3SPN’s FF is fried.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Did anyone see the Patriots backup QB spit into his cup and then drink it?
Did that really happen?
October 4th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Holding much on the Ravens’ OL?
October 4th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Nantz just confused Flacco with a very large black man. Must be quite the thrill for Bert.
October 4th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Stabby’s going to handle the healing.
October 4th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Jay Cutler wrote a poem about that Bears possession…but it sounds like a Stabbing Westward song.
October 4th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Brady Rule in effect on Brady.
October 4th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
An intentional cheap shot by Suggs trying to injure someone?
WELL I NEVER!
October 4th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
bwahahahahahahaha, Stabby. Even Nantz is calling him out.
October 4th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Goose said Elisha was the best in the league running the 2 min. drill!?!
Fat ratbird.
October 4th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
You mean Flacco still sucks when he doesn’t play a creampuff defense?
October 4th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
spanky:
“Goose said Elisha was the best in the league running the 2 min. drill!?!”
NO ONE DENIES THIS!
October 4th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Wow, Dick Stockton gets scarier and scarier looking. HDTV is an unkind cut.
And the Colts still hang the ‘AFC Finalist’ banner? Still worse than the mortifying ‘16-0′ banner in Foxboro.
October 4th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
It sounded like Pey-Pey said “West Europe” during his snap count
October 4th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
PeyPey’s the only thing I have going in FF today. Brandon Jacobs, FIX YO STATS!
October 4th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Not that I understand what Pey-Pey is saying, but it’s pretty cool that we can hear the audio for his line calls. Of course, it’s unfair when they play Brady’s.
NO ONE DENIES THIS!
October 4th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
The announcer of the Jags game just made a joke saying you need 3 feet down to make a catch. Why Red Zone would ever cut to that game I don’t know
October 4th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
You know your offense sucks when the Texans shut you down, time to drop Zach Miller
October 4th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
I thought that the Texans couldn’t stop the run and the only thing the Raiders could do was run it – colour me a little surprised.
October 4th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
CBS cameras picking up naughty, naughty words by Harbaugh
October 4th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
I cannot wait for the whining about the refs that comes from Ravens fans after this game
/prepares popcorn
October 4th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
A Matt Light holding call is as surprising as a Flozell Adams motion penalty.
October 4th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Still can’t log in to ESPN.
I need my FF fix, ffs.
/fffffff
October 4th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
By the time the Titans defense is done I’m going to have negative 100 fantasy points
October 4th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Abe “The Goose” Froeman: The Sausage King of Anywhere
October 4th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Does Seattle ever get the ball, or are they playing all-time defense?
October 4th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Slothrop: I saw Seattle with the ball once, it was a lot of 1 yard runs and Seneca Wallace struggling to throw the ball inbounds
October 4th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Fuck Del Rio in the ass for resting jones drew fucking cockwallet
October 4th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Micheal Bush fields a punt at his own 1 and gets tackled for a safety and the Texans run the free kick back too.
Raider football
October 4th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Flacco’s a tad rattled.
October 4th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Braylon Edwards is not a hot head
October 4th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Great googly moogly.
October 4th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Matt Light is so bad, he could be on the Steelers line
October 4th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Offensive explosion for the Browns
October 4th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Matt Light is aware that you go to the bar and chubby-chase AFTER the game, right?
October 4th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Elisha just managed to get hurt his leg without anyone hitting him. He’s on the sideline walking without his shoe on.
Elisha: WOO HOO OUR JUICE BOX TIME!
October 4th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
/Bengal’d
October 4th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
MOOOOOOOSSS!
October 4th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Slothrop – Have you ever read anything by Robertson Davies? I’m reading the Manticore right now. Still undecided whether I like it or not.
October 4th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Moss didnt try hard enough, he couldve got 2 touchdowns if he tried
October 4th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
This shittiness of the Ravens secondary might be exploited again at some point in the future.
October 4th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
@Semper: Love Davies. Try Fifth Business–Manticore is the sequel to it. The Deptford Trilogy and Cornish Trilogy are his best.
October 4th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
@Mole: You know how much breast cancer awareness he could have raised while going into the endzone?
October 4th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
@Slothrop – I reckon I should give Fifth Business a try. I’m reading it in a group at teachers college right now and I’m the only person in my group who hasn’t read fifth business, so it’s nice having a different background reading the book.
October 4th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Flacco might be looking his receivers down. Might.
October 4th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
@ me – it being Manticore. Fix yo pronouns!
October 4th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Did Andre Johnson die today?
October 4th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Did Andre Johnson die today?
And did he take Lavernipus Coles with him?
October 4th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
I’m glad I live in Seattle so I get to watch this thrilling three touchdown blowout by the Colts, in its entirety.
Meanwhile, CBS is showing a food processor informercial instead of Pats-Ravens, which I could watch and pray for horrible, horrible injuries.
Damn you, TV gods.
October 4th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
trickeration FAIL.
October 4th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I have no idea what’s going on in the Pats game. I just know Phil Simms is irate.
October 4th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
not as irate as Ravens fans are, Semper. I can hear the whining from 600 miles away.
October 4th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
FUCK YOU, CUTLER.
October 4th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
It would have to be from 600 miles away since they don’t live anywhere else.
October 4th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
MCGAHEEFAIL
October 4th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
I am pleased by that defensive stand.
October 4th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Worst clock management since AFC championship in 06.
October 4th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Seriously. The Ravens pass d blows goat. Why not stay in five wide?
October 4th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
This is killing me. Joe Flacco is impressing me. He’s taking a Warner-level beating.
October 4th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Isn’t that sweet, Flacco still lives with his parents.
October 4th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
I LOVE MARK CLAYTON!
October 4th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
wow. dodged the bullet there. Flacco’s got cojones.
October 4th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
tom brady will now allow flacco to meet him
October 4th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Did Belichick just show emotion? That was unsettling.
October 4th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Just watched the local post-game show. Ten minutes of Moss talking about how the team had heavy hearts today because breast cancer gets all the best bitches. Wait, did I just say that? Fuck, I’m sliding into the abyss.
October 4th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
And it begins! Have Ray Ray and his band of merry thugs ever lost when the officiating wasn’t to blame?
http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/sports/ravens/blog/2009/10/it_was_a_bad_day_for_nfl_officiating.html
October 4th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
/eats popcorn
/reads link TTGT posted
/masturbates furiously