The Avatars of Ungodly Football Futility. WHO YA GOT?
Last year, the Lions set the benchmark for failure to which all future failures will be compared, at least until the NFL expands its schedule to 18 games and some woebegone franchise (Redskins?) finds a way to lose that many games in a season. This year, the Rams look every bit as bad – possibly even worse – than that Detroit team from a year ago. Other than a matchup at currently winless Tennessee later in the season, this Sunday represents the Rams’ best chance at getting in the win column, seeing as how six of their final eight games pit them against teams with a .500 or better record. As fate would have it, it’s the Lions who could be the guardians of another epic NFL fail. So, WHO YA GOT?
Same Ol’ Sorry Ass Rams____________________2008 Detroit Lions
Point differential through seven games
-151_________________________________-98
Number of times shutout
Twice_______________________________Zero
Is there an inconvenient crisis among the prominent industry in town that will lead to innumerable painful bailout jokes associated with the team’s horrid play?
Thankfully not (but they’d still like jobs)______________Oooohhhhh yeah
Are they responsible for Nelly or Kid Rock?
Nelly_____________________________Kid Rock
Pictoral approximation of failure
Medical failure analog
Kidney failure________________________Rectal prolapse
Meager redeeming quality
Avoided Rush Limbaugh as owner (through no fault of their own)______Suckered Dallas into paying big for Roy Williams
Finishing move
Laying down and dying quietly (on top of an animal)_________________Necrophilia fodder
Tags: fail lion, SOSA Rams, who ya got?, xmas ape
October 30th, 2009 at 11:15 am
There’s a reason the Bible said that a sign of the apocalypse would be when the Lions lay down with the Lambs.
October 30th, 2009 at 11:26 am
I’ll never understand how Scott Linehan still has a job in the NFL. . . What’s that? He works for the Lions? I now understand.
October 30th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Is there anyway this game doesn’t end in a 9-9 tie?
October 30th, 2009 at 11:31 am
I would think a Rams head and pictures of Lions disemboweling people would emphasize the ungodly in this match-up.
/just sayin’ that’s all.
October 30th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Spags, run as fast as you can back to the Giants. Since you’re gone they can’t buy a sack and the red zone defense is the worst in the NFL. You can be head-coach-in-waiting like Princeton Boy at Dallas without the douchery.
October 30th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Steven Jackson owners are cautiously optimistic.
/wish they had drafted Michael Turner
October 30th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Remove the cone of shame from FAIL cat and place it upon Defdude.
October 30th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Honk if you’re horny.
/Rams fan
October 30th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Fail is ubiquitous in Detroit. Football, economic and jew.
October 30th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Defdude is a saboteur. His comment has been deleted.
October 30th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Is there anyway this game doesn’t end in a 9-9 tie?
0 – 0 tie?
October 30th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
0-0 tie implies that the defenses do not completely fail as well.
October 30th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Sedative laced brownies handed out to the opponents will always help one’s chances…
October 30th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
@CC… who knew that KSK Khommenters were like Batman Villains.
October 30th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
just tell them it’s an energy bar
October 30th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Nothing like waking up to a rectal prolapse visualization.
I imagine this game will be like when my Special Ed. teaching wife plays “picture bingo” with her students.
The one Downs kid’s finishing move was pissing in his own shoe.
/jealous of ingenuity.
October 30th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
We can only hope that such a massive negative amount football talent causes Ford Field to collapse inward on itself, creating a black hole that will somehow manage to suck less than the Rams presently do.
Bonus points if it swallows the city of Detroit.
October 30th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Failcat: The harder he tries, the harder he fails
October 30th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
anyone have the balls to pick one of these two teams in their suicide league this week?
October 30th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Running backs who are from there:
Um, can’t think of a single one for either city. Nope, not a single goddamn running back comes to mind.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
I have the Lions winning by 10. Stafford is a competent QB and the Rams offense is statistically worse than the Redskins.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Who ya got? I got a fuck Lion, now come fuck with me.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Greg Olsen is making me sexits Says: jew?
October 30th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
The Lions are the master of epic FAIL. Never underestimate the suck that comes from Detroit.
Unless it’s hockey… But we all know that’s not a sport.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Do I really have to choose? I won’t do it and you can’t make me!!!
/runs off and slams basement door
October 30th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Is there an inconvenient crisis among the prominent industry in town that will lead to innumerable painful bailout jokes associated with the team’s horrid play?
What about last year’s sale of Budweiser to Belgian giant InBev? Can’t we start making jokes about shipping the Rams across the Atlantic?
October 30th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
I’m taking the Lions 3-2 on a passed ball in the 9th.
October 30th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
What, BDD can look up Fun Ratio for the Cowboys, but Ape can’t discuss Bitterness Quotient and Resignation Index for this game? I’m so disillusioned.
October 30th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
@ CR, Borat reference, “…Kazakhstan a Glorious Country, It Have a Problem, Too: Economic, Social, and Jew”
October 30th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
@gregolsen: sorry. I’m like the only person in America who has never seen that movie
October 31st, 2009 at 2:40 am
Lions win from a touchdown by their latest FA acquisition: Bald Kirk Gibson.