cutore

Halloween falls on a Saturday this year, which is tremendous when coupled with the coinciding occurrence of Daylight Savings Time. That’s an extra hour to sleep off all the drinking de los muertes before preparing for a day of sports-related drinking. And we’re counting on Halloween to be good, knowing full well that Fox is preparing to unleash the goddamn Favre Cam on us the following day. Continuing what has become a yearly tradition for us, we’ve compiled a list of costumes for NFL figures. Do enjoy.

Wes Welker — Sandpaper

Julian Edelman — Slightly shittier version of whatever Welker’s costume is

Jim Mora Sr. — Robert Novak

Aaron Rodgers — Vampire goth

Jay Cutler — Goth vampire

Josh McDaniels — Nazi Belichick (will attend with Prince Harry)

Rex Ryan – A play sheet that simply reads “BLITZ” in huge letters.

Owen Schmitt — Stone Cold Steve Austin from Wrestlemania 13 (for 12th year in a row)

wrestlemania13

Ben Roethlisberger – Good Humor man (“SORRY I ATED ALL THE CHOCO TACOS.”)

Dan Snyder — Waring Hudsucker (the dead version)

Darren Sproles — Tinkerbell

James Harrison — James Harrison

Braylon EdwardsNOT LEBRON JAMES!

Brady Quinn — Harvey Milk

Redskins fans — Ravens fans

Eli Manning — “A cowboy! No, a fireman! No, an astronaut! No, a dinosaur!” “A firefighting space cowboy that also happens to be a dinosaur!”

JaMarcus Russell – Funny hat (actual costumes require too much effort)

Miles Austin — Baraka

Pierre Garcon — Waiter

Brett Favre — a kid

Peyton Manning — Billy Mays

Ed Reed — Hamburger Helper Glove

Peter King — Clint Eastwood (only to find out the Clint Eastwood costume is only available in New York and LA)

Peter King’s backup plan — A chemist

Marty B – Jason Whitlock

Jason Whitlock — An oozing pumpkin

Jeff Garcia — Certainly not Zorro!

Matt Schaub — Street clothes (so normal!)

Joey Porter — Huckleberry Hound

Limas Sweed — Basketball hoop

Chris Cooley — Jeff Reed

Jeff Reed — Naked

Philip Rivers — Balloon boy

William Gay — Doormat

Justin FargasGhost pigeon

Tom Brady — Don Draper

LenDale White — Jose Cuervo

Calvin Johnson — Slutty Megatron

Darrius Heyward-Bey – Invisible man

Michael Crabtree — Darrius Heyward-Bey