The 2009 KSK NFL Halloween Kostumekkake
Halloween falls on a Saturday this year, which is tremendous when coupled with the coinciding occurrence of Daylight Savings Time. That’s an extra hour to sleep off all the drinking de los muertes before preparing for a day of sports-related drinking. And we’re counting on Halloween to be good, knowing full well that Fox is preparing to unleash the goddamn Favre Cam on us the following day. Continuing what has become a yearly tradition for us, we’ve compiled a list of costumes for NFL figures. Do enjoy.
Wes Welker — Sandpaper
Julian Edelman — Slightly shittier version of whatever Welker’s costume is
Jim Mora Sr. — Robert Novak
Aaron Rodgers — Vampire goth
Jay Cutler — Goth vampire
Josh McDaniels — Nazi Belichick (will attend with Prince Harry)
Rex Ryan – A play sheet that simply reads “BLITZ” in huge letters.
Owen Schmitt — Stone Cold Steve Austin from Wrestlemania 13 (for 12th year in a row)
Ben Roethlisberger – Good Humor man (”SORRY I ATED ALL THE CHOCO TACOS.”)
Dan Snyder — Waring Hudsucker (the dead version)
Darren Sproles — Tinkerbell
James Harrison — James Harrison
Braylon Edwards — NOT LEBRON JAMES!
Brady Quinn — Harvey Milk
Redskins fans — Ravens fans
Eli Manning — “A cowboy! No, a fireman! No, an astronaut! No, a dinosaur!” “A firefighting space cowboy that also happens to be a dinosaur!”
JaMarcus Russell – Funny hat (actual costumes require too much effort)
Miles Austin — Baraka
Pierre Garcon — Waiter
Brett Favre — a kid
Peyton Manning — Billy Mays
Ed Reed — Hamburger Helper Glove
Peter King — Clint Eastwood (only to find out the Clint Eastwood costume is only available in New York and LA)
Peter King’s backup plan — A chemist
Marty B – Jason Whitlock
Jason Whitlock — An oozing pumpkin
Jeff Garcia — Certainly not Zorro!
Matt Schaub — Street clothes (so normal!)
Joey Porter — Huckleberry Hound
Limas Sweed — Basketball hoop
Chris Cooley — Jeff Reed
Jeff Reed — Naked
Philip Rivers — Balloon boy
William Gay — Doormat
Justin Fargas — Ghost pigeon
Tom Brady — Don Draper
LenDale White — Jose Cuervo
Calvin Johnson — Slutty Megatron
Darrius Heyward-Bey – Invisible man
Michael Crabtree — Darrius Heyward-Bey
Tags: bullshit holidays, ksk group posts, we could do this all day
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
October 29th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
philip rivers – phileas fogg
October 29th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Jim Zorn – Sherman Klump (http://img2.listal.com/image/589690/500full-the-nutty-professor-screenshot.jpg)
October 29th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Man, this list ends with a bang. Those last four really busted me up.
October 29th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Redskins offensive line — the Invisible Man
October 29th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
travis henry – henry hill
October 29th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Jeff Garcia — slutty Jeff Garcia
October 29th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Crabtree’s agent “Eugene” – Drew Rosenhaus
October 29th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Dick Jauron – Zombie Dick Jauron (no costume necessary)
Jim Zorn – death row inmate aka dead man walking
October 29th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Andrea McNulty – female soldier/tv repairman – who’s pregnant
October 29th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Al Davis: Mumm-Ra
Michael Vick: Cesar Milan
Emmitt Smith: Masturbating Bear
Tom Brady: Commoner
October 29th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Peter King: Favre mask, dick-in-a-box style.
October 29th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Larry Fitzgerald – block of cheddar cheese
Mark Sanchez – The Frito Bandito (Rex Ryan’s decision)
Chris Collinsworth – Wooderson
October 29th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
MMMMMM slutty megatron
October 29th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Visante Shaincoe – Mr. Ed
October 29th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Terrell Owens- Dennis Rodman
Jared Allen- Hillbilly Maniac (not an actual costume, but people think it is)
Peter King- Deanna Favre
Also, you know that somewhere this Halloween, somebody’s gonna do a Zombie Steve McNair costume- almost certainly a retarded white guy in blackface.
October 29th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Seneca Wallace: Judge Smails
Miles Austin: Vanilla Ice
TO: Mickey Rourke
October 29th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Corey Lidle=Kareem Abdul Jabbar in Airplane
October 29th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Brandon Flowers – The lead singer of the Killers (in whiteface)
October 29th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Of course, these suggestions will be meaningless to anyone unfamiliar with Dungeons and Dragons, but…
Ed Reed – Lurker Above
Andre Smith – Gelatinous Cube
Jared Allen – Owlbear
Jeremy Shockey – Shambling Mound
Chad Ochocinco – Will-O-Wisp
Al Davis – Lich
October 29th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
D Bowe- Snoop Dogg
October 29th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
The frito bandito rules
October 29th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
TGAMC, lame. “a list of costumes for NFL figures.”
October 29th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
i know you don’t want fellatio for how funny your posts are but this…
Miles Austin — Baraka
…was absolutely awesome.
eric mangini – a brown version of grimace
October 29th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Adam Jones: Green Man
O WE GON SMOKE DAT GREEN CHUH CHUH
October 29th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Tom Cable – Butterball
October 29th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
@ Zack
I’ll just consult my Monster Manual…
Albert Haynesworth – Umber Hulk
Darren Sproles – Brownie
/kicks own ass
October 29th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
er, excuse me. Butter Bean.
October 29th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Jay Cutler – Kyle Orton
Larry Johnson – Elton John
Steve Smith (Carolina) – Steve Smith (NYG)
Peyton Manning – Jeff Fisher
Chad Ochocinco – Chad Johnson
Marshawn Lynch – Applebee’s employee
Ted Ginn Jr. – a T Rex
Fast Willie Parker – Slow Willie Parker
Hines Ward – Birry Goat (third year in a row)
Andre Johnson – actor
Jake Delhomme – Fred Lane (I wish)
Terence Cody – Drew Magary
October 29th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Jeff Reed stole my costume idea.
October 29th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Texans’ offensive line-’96 Broncos’ offensive line…please?
October 29th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Reche Caldwell- Fruit Bat
October 29th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
@Zack: Bill Belichek – Mindflayer
Roger Goodell – Beholder
October 29th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Todd Haley-Larry Johnson’s dad
Larry Johnson-gay baker
October 29th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Kerry Collins – pants-less Kerry Collins
Dan Snyder – Dark Helmet
Vinny Cerrato – Colonel Sanders
Jim Zorn – Major Asshole
Chris Cooley – Barf
Drew Brees – Breesus Christ
Matt Ryan – Ron Mexico
Ted Ginn – Clifford Franklin
Chad Henne – Willie Beamon
Matt Leinart -Mark Sanchez
Eric Mangini – Rex Ryan
October 29th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Limas Sweed – Piranha.
October 29th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Chad Ochocinco — Super Carboat Man. He can fly through the air like floating bacon.
October 29th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
cant believe you let Al Davis off the hook here… So many choices for him.
Troy Polamalu – Head and Shoulders bottle holding a coke Zero
Plaxico Burress – Prisoner.
October 29th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
@Andy – Al Davis does not need a costume he already looks like one of the Ephors from 300.
October 29th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
JT O’Sullivan – JT O’Sullivan from KSK
October 29th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Dan Snyder’s Dad – Marvin Gaye’s Dad.
HINT.
October 29th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Mark Sanchez – Emiliano Zapata (http://www.old-picture.com/american-history-1900-1930s/pictures/Emelio-Zapata.jpg)
Peter King – Peter Griffin
Al Davis -The Crypt-Keeper
Dan Snyder – Adam Susan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Susan)
Rex Ryan – Conan the Barbarian
October 29th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
@ El Nene – if Tom Cable starts dancing naked in a translucent sheet, I am gonna throw up in a cat.
October 29th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Jon Gruden: Ralphie from “A Christmas Story”
October 29th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Donte Stallworth – deathmobile from Animal house http://www.thestudiotour.com/ush/studiotour/transportationdept/animalhouse.jpg
October 29th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Shawne Merriman – the Boston Strangler
October 29th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Do you think that Iron Maiden has to pay Al Davis for the use of his likeness or have they tweaked the image enough to escape that?
October 29th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Virginia McClaskey = Terry Schaivo
October 29th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
@gino and petarded – those are great ones (particularly the mind flayer). You guys wanna join the Super Friends Club? Gino your nickname can be “database.” Petarded King can be “cosmos.”
October 29th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Jessica Simpson – Fat Jessica Simpson
October 29th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Actually, Rex Ryan’s sheet would read “ZTILB”
October 29th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Tom Brady – Chester from Gunsmoke
/really old TV reference
October 29th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
Me – Xmas Ape
October 29th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
Adrian Peterson – A Berserker
October 29th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Slutty Megatron, don’t go near that guy in the Optimus Prime costume– it’s Merriman!
October 29th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Daylight SavING. ING. Singular.
October 29th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Limas Sweed FTW.
October 29th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Miles Austin as Baraka – fucking genius. Props to Mortal Kombat II!
October 29th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Leonard Little – The Gimp. Mark Chmura – Cpt Chaos. Samkon Gado – H.I.V. Levi Brown – Lisa Lamponeli. Chris Henry – King Tut King Laserface – Jack the Ripper
October 29th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Leonard Little – The Gimp.
October 29th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Not gonna lie, that Slutty Megatron line has be thinking about Slutty Peyton Manning.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go light my brain on fire.
October 29th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
I was about to say “JaMarcus Russell is really going to go through the trouble of finding a hat, and putting it on? Really?”, then I realised he could probably just get a teammate to do it for him. Then wheel him up the porch steps (”You realise them shits can have 4, 5 steps? Fuck all that.”)
October 29th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Dan Snyder – Jeff Dunham; Cerrato will be the dummy.
October 29th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
@NestMinder +1
October 29th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
@ AntBaby: -1 for the AP Stylebook reference.
October 29th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
The Peanut Gallery has officially redeemed itself. No more scolding from the teachers for at least a week.
Brady Quinn – Brady Quinn’s Sister
(actually, have they ever been seen in the same place at the same time?)
October 29th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
I was hoping someone would work in a pedo bear costume, but I suppose Mark Sanchez as the frito bandito has made my night as well.
/actually lol’ed at that one
October 29th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
Wait, Eli wants to be a space cowboy? There are no cows in space. And didn’t he wear that five years ago?
/Castle’d
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q3pdj9p6yI&feature=related
October 29th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Wait, Eli wants to be a space cowboy? There are no cows in space. And didn’t he wear that five years ago?
/Castle’d
October 29th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Garcon means boy.
October 30th, 2009 at 12:18 am
No one’s going as concrete cyanide?
October 30th, 2009 at 12:34 am
Eric Mangini – The Shit Monster from Dogma
October 30th, 2009 at 1:34 am
BigRedEd said:
Brady Quinn – Brady Quinn’s sister
A.J. Hawk – The Invisible Man
October 30th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Come on, Garcia would be a perfect Tobias Funke.
October 30th, 2009 at 10:15 am
@Cobra Commander – Does Snyder being Susan make UM V? (+5000 for the V for Vendetta reference)
October 30th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Bill Parcells – Vladimir Putin
Jimmy Johson – Elvis
Jared Allen – Toby Keith
Brandon Jacobs – Luke Cage
Drew Brees – Lemmy Kilmister
October 30th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Drew Brees – The Island from Lost (face only.)
October 30th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Randy Moss and Wes Welker – Kanye West and Taylor Swift
October 31st, 2009 at 9:32 pm
LT – The Ghost of Adrian Peterson Future
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Santonio Holmes – Naked.