SNF Open Thread, And The Day That Was
Tonight we’re treated to a game of Cutlerf*cker vs. Matty Ice. I’m told other people will be playing as well. Good people. People like Tony Gonzalez. This is your open thread for tonight’s festivities, so stick around and enjoy the games. Continue after the jump for the final word on the rest of Sunday’s games.
Minnesota 33 – 31 Baltimore
The Vikings went up early, and the Ravens hung around all afternoon. Baltimore battled back against a Vikings defense playing without Antoine Winfield, only to lose on a missed field goal by Steve Hauschka. Brett Favre was too nervous to watch, so he relied on Tavaris Jackson to tell him what happened. Which was pretty ridiculous when you consider the crowd’s immediate reaction, but hey, it was the most responsibility Jackson has had all year.
Kansas City 14 – 6 Washington
Motherfucker. The Redskins embarrassed themselves by losing another game to a winless team. Jason Campbell was benched after another wildly ineffective first half, yet Jim Zorn is still allowed to call plays. Telephone lines all over the DC area will soon be jammed by sports talk radio listeners calling in to bitch about Zorn and point out that Todd Collins completed a 40+ yard pass to Santana Moss on his first play. It might be time to join Redskins Anonymous.
Peter King just got off the phone with Vinny Cerrato, unfortunately neither of them were sufficiently distracted by the conversation to stumble out in front of an oncoming bus. King reports that Zorn still has his job, for another week at least, however they are going to ask him (nicely I presume) to give up the play calling duties. Hopefully Sherm Lewis calls plays as well as he calls a game of Bingo.
New Orleans 48 – 27 New York Giants
Maybe now everybody can cool it on the Manning vs. Manning Super Bowl talk. The Saints jumped out early and the Giants could never get back into the game. Drew Brees threw another four touchdowns while the Giants had to make due without Kareem McKenzie for much of the game. The right tackle was carted off with a groin injury in the second quarter.
Carolina 28 – 21 Tampa Bay
Dante Wesley is a dirty cock.
Smith has a concussion, and Wesley can probably expect a call from the league office.
Pittsburgh 27 – 14 Cleveland
Hines Ward smiled his way to 159 yards and a touchdown. BEN managed to throw for 417 yards while being propped up by Pittsburgh’s vaunted defense and running game.
Houston 28 – 17 Cincinnati
And that’s what happens when you start giving the Bengals the benefit of the doubt. Matt Schaub went for 392 and four touchdowns. The Bengals also lost Antwan Odom for the year to an Achilles injury following a pretty nasty chop block.
Jacksonville 23 – 20 St. Louis (OT)
The Rams quest for perfection remains intact.
Green Bay 26 – 0 Detroit
Pretty much what you’d expect, plus an appearance by Drew Stanton following a Daunte Culpepper injury. Things don’t look to be getting much better for the Detroit quarterback situation anytime soon.
Oakland 13 – 9 Philadelphia
Despite going up against one of the worst rush defenses in recent memory the Eagles never really bothered establishing the run. Westbrook and McCoy combined for 63 yards on 11 carries. Westbrook did catch nine passes, but it wasn’t enough to beat the fucking Raiders.
Arizona 27 – 3 Seattle
Seattle’s offense fell totally flat and they lost star linebacker Lofa Tatupu for the season to a shoulder injury.
New England 59 – 0 Tennessee
Holy shit, they finally let Vince Young get on the field for a few plays (0-2, 2 rushes for -1 yard). But Kerry Collins was just about to get things headed in the right direction (2-12, -7 yards, 1 interception)! Tom Brady threw six touchdown passes, including five in a quasi-Doug Williams-ish second quarter.
Buffalo 16 – 13 New York Jets
Jesus, how did the Jets possibly lose this game? Oh I know, they let Matt Sanchez throw the ball for some reason. The Jets rushed for 318 MOTHERFUCKING YARDS (210 for Thomas Jones), yet they allowed Sanchez to attempt an unconscionable 29 passes (he completed 10 and threw another five for interceptions). New York could have won with a field goal in overtime, but they were unable to get the snap down in time, and the Bills took possession. They kicked their own field goal a few minutes later to secure an improbable win. Ryan Fitzpatrick played most of the game (poorly) after Trent Edwards was knocked out early in the game.
Tags: I have not been waiting all day for Sunday night because I've been busy watching football, open threads, the day that was, Unsilent Majority
October 18th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Ummm. Vikes score wrong. Baltimore lost, 31, 33
October 18th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
I missed Nightmare Falcon.
Now if only I could be rid of the Cowboys’ nightmare secondary.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
“Got my lawn chair in my truck, not an ocean in sight… kiss my ass, New York, it’s Tennis Night!”
October 18th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
FUCK Andrea Kramer looks like a troll! Why is she still on TV?
October 18th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Andrea Kremer looks comletely hammered (as in drunk, not porn star, though…) in that interview with Gonzalez
October 18th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Have the Falcons played on SNF in a while (ever?)? Those were some awkward player introductions.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Why doesn’t KSK do this in coveritlive? Ah, well. Matt Ryan’s dogfighting ring consists solely of Labradoodles. Much loftier.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Fuck! It figures when the Bengals finally assemble a decent defense it falls apart within a damn week. Guess we’re back to picking up inanimate objects…that Pepsi machine in the mezzanine looks pretty solid, I wonder how well it would work against the run?
October 18th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
“Dante Wesley is a dirty cock.”
Ray Lewis is not impressed.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
I appreciated the good people at NBC spending some time pointing out what an incredible dumbass Brad Childress is.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
When did Devin Hester become, like… a decent Wide Receiver?
October 18th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Cutler looks competent out there. Whats going on?
October 18th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
That is weird.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
At least the Raiders bashing will slow down this week, maybe.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Cutlerpick!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
And belay that last comment.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Cutlerfucker is not about to be outdone by some Mexican.
sulksulksulk
October 18th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
CutlerCeption??
October 18th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Ooh spider web.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Someone needs to unleash the fucking dragon out here and start slinging some cum.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Wow, I am so glad NBC doesn’t bother with commercials on the online stream of the game. Now why can’t ESPN be bothered to stream MNF?
October 18th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Al Michaels: Check out Jay Leno this week!
Me: No. Fuck you, Al Michaels.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
I’m happy to see Smith’s teammates going after Wesley, the hockey player in me says the NFL needs more of that. Fines often don’t mean shit to a player. “Oh I got fined 25k? Let’s go see there, I make (at least) 800k a year. Big deal.” On the other hand letting a pissed off nose tackle whale on Wesley for a few minutes would please the crowd and give Wesley time to ponder his manners while in traction.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Do you think Matt ForTE and Mark SanCHEZ hang out together and solve crimes? I do.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
SafteyDan: White people don’t like to see black men punch each other unless one is named Foreman. It reminds them that they are afraid of black people.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
@ These .45s: Chico and the Man?
October 18th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Damn Raiders took out half my survival league this week, including me.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
@SafetyDan: Thanks for joining our humble open thread, Pacman Jones.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Lofty return. Hester regaining his old form a bit?
October 18th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Dante Wesley is a dirty cock.
And this is why hockey rocks. Wesley would have had the shit beat out of him immediately while the refs let it happen.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Blonde on Trauma can give my penis ass to mouth.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
The puma shoes are always welcome to many people as it is high quality and fashion design.For myself,i like this puma shoes very much,you can have it and show yourself now,it is not let you down.Mens Puma Fluxion II
Mens Puma Future Cat Gt Ferrari
Mens Puma Future Cat Lo Engine
October 18th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
PUMA! Official pussytubin’ shoe of the NFL.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
SAAAAAAAVED BY ZEEEEEEEROOOOO!
October 18th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Fuck these two teams. All I can say is that there better be a Neckbeard vs. Marmalard “Who Ya Got” here tomorrow, or I’m a cut a bitch.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Savedbyzero! Savedbyzero!
October 18th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Hey yly, as a proud wearer of Suede’s, I say, ‘fuck you very much.’
October 18th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
The Raiders game is a classic example of why the Eagles fucking suck. You just knew Andy Reid and co. were going to find a way to fuck up a game that was a freebie on the schedule. And this year he doesn’t have Jim Johnson (R.I.P.) or Brian Dawkins leading the defense to bail his fat ass out. The talking heads can call them a contender all they want, but the Eagles ain’t shit this year. The class of the NFC right now is (sadly) the Vikings and Saints.
/bitter because Eagles fucked me out of my suicide pool
//doubly bitter because Giants got gang-raped by the Saints
///Coughlin might suffer like Reid because instead of having Spagnuolo to bail him out he only has the severely overmatched Bill Sheridan
////Jerry Reese fucked up giving all that money to Chris Canty and picking Clint Sintim instead of using excess picks to trade up for Rey Maualuga
/////slashied out
October 18th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Screw you, yly, I’m an Adi Dassler guy all the way.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
This is K-Swiss territory, dammit. You better watch yourself!
October 18th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
more proof that Lance Briggs is a dumbass.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
RECOVERYGASM
October 18th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Are there a shitload of Bears fans in that dome or do ATL fans just not understand what’s going on?
October 18th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Just think of how awesome that replay would have looked if you just caught the fucking interception instead of posing for your highlight reel.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Matt Ryan, still not that good in 09.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
You have cop douchiness
October 18th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
HOWIE IS A SNITCH!
October 18th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
YOU HAVE COCK HAIR
October 18th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Fuck I hate the Bears.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
CUTLERCEPTION!
October 18th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Cutlerfucker single handedly keeping Atlanta in this game…
He’s really setting the stakes high for Marmalard tomorrow night
October 18th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
TRUE FACT: “Decoud” is French for “Sulkerception.”
October 18th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
A couple of bad plays and this game could turn into… a Mattastrophe!
/I’ll see my way out
October 18th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
WHITEDOWN!
October 18th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Your tears sustain me Cutlerfucker.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Matty Ice for 6 to Roddy White….
Collinsworth: “The Bears completely screw this up.”
Critical commentary? I don’t understand this.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Ahhh. Falcons scoring still is odd to see. And Collinsworth not impressed with Bears D. What a brave new world.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Boy, if I catch a stack of money fuckin staring at me like that…
October 18th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
it’s the money you COULD be spending on hookers and blow
October 18th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Typically you try to cover all of the receivers, not just 66%
October 18th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
It’s the money you COULD be spending on Caveman commercials.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
ive never wanted to hit a woman as much as that stacy bitch
October 18th, 2009 at 9:27 pm
I’ve never wanted to hit a woman as much as that Cutler bitch.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
BOOM WOAH CAH-CATCH!
October 18th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Sorry, forgot the “@addai’s happy feet”
October 18th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
LOL @ rich
//really i did. not just saying it
//never “just says it”
October 18th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
I wrap tape around my socks and collect beer cans.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Cuh-collinsworth is still a duh-douche
October 18th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Tom Brady is Officially Back.
By beating Tennessee.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
But losing to the Broncos
October 18th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
So….. is Johnny Knox just half gritty?
October 18th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
SN-SNELL!
October 18th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Collinsworth: Brady just keeps livin’ man. L-I-V-I-N
October 18th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Careful of all those exotic blitzes – you can catch the clap from them.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
cutlerfuck ‘er? i barely know ‘er!
October 18th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
I can’t focus on this game while January Jones HAUNTS MY DREAMS. And I’ve never even fucking seen Mad Men.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
I always think the Atlanta coach looks like a banker came in off the golf course and ended up on the Atlanta sideline.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
I can’t focus on this game while January Jones HAUNTS MY DREAMS. And I’ve never even fucking seen Mad Men.
You really should, if only for the sweater puppies. And the nameless ennui and existential angst. But mostly for the sweater puppies.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Also, that Don Draper’s got some BROAD shoulders!
/no homo?
October 18th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
hey lets forget to cover Gonzalez
October 18th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
/no homo?
Yeah, Salvatore got fired.
Wait, what?
October 18th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Oh god. Spanish announcers arguing over who’s got the thinner waist (hint: neither).
October 18th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
BOOBIES
That was MATTACULAR!
/again, I’ll find the exit on my own
October 18th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
And thank you Mr. Ryan. I did indeed need those points.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
And that’s how Tony Gonzales saved Hispanic Heritage Month.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Collinsworth: “Matt Ryan has fallen in love with Tony Gonzalez.”
You forgot the “No homo” part.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Ok. I’m gonna say it. What the fuck kind of name is Lovie? Is this a Boy Named Sue situation or something?
October 18th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Why would ANYONE embrace a nickname based on shit beer?
(Related question: have you or do you know anyone who has purchased Natty Light by choice, as a legally-drinking adult?)
October 18th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
STOP DATING MY CUTLERFUCKER!
//i barely know er??//
October 18th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
@ These .45s: Kindasorta… he’s named after a female relative (aunt, or great-aunt). Which, frankly, is a parental fail right there– first, do no naming harm.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
I used to drink dollar natty drafts as a young, but legal grad student.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
MAHTT RYAHN IS THE FAHCKIN GREAHHTEST AAHFTER TAWMMY!
FACKIN YAHNKEES ONLY WIN CAHHS IT’S FACKIN COLD! IT”S NAWT BASEBAWL WHEH-THA!
/that last sentence no shit was issued out today by the old Boston dude that hits the gym same time I do
October 18th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Saveto: Uh, now that you mention it, no. I don’t. And I haven’t. And Matt Ryan’s name is based on the fact that he killed several hookers in cold bood.
/after the sodomy
October 18th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
ya know what? im gonna cutlerfucker even harder
October 18th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
“He was named after his great aunt, Lavana”
October 18th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Ok. I’m gonna say it. What the fuck kind of name is Lovie? Is this a Boy Named Sue situation or something?
See: Manning, Danieal
October 18th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Did Gonzalez bend the goalpost?
October 18th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
No shit I buy Natural Ice every year on Thanksgiving. To remind myself to give thanks for EVERY OTHER FUCKING BEER EVER MADE.
It’s a tradition going on 7 years.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
@ Rich. That’s a wonderful tradition that makes the Madden turducken cry shame-tears.
I’m nicknaming my firstborn after, like, “Old Speckled Baby” or “Arrogant Bastard.”
October 18th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Tony Dungy’s eyes are clearly emitting light.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Guys, can I call Tony Dungy ‘Flashlight Eyes’ or do we have a better nickname already?
October 18th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Tony Dungy: Matt Ryan is a great young quarterback and a fine person. Unless he’s gay, at which point my God will punish him for eternity. Also, I blink twice a day.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
@ Slothrop: Eh. Economic pressures count as a hedge on your purchase options.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
@Saveto: Yeah but turducken has me beat by quite a few years
October 18th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Nick Roach isn’t a rookie Tony, fucking amateur.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Come on, we all know that PBR is the only acceptable gross hipster beer.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Holy shit now Dungy keep saying the word ‘eyes’ HELP ME
October 18th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
//wants a pair of pom-poms//
October 18th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Tony Dungy? The Dung Beetle? That sounds right.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Any chance we can get some legislation for a four day workweek during football season?
October 18th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
I’m tired of having Ryan Reynold’s abs taunt me while CC Sabbathia throws a baseball at balloon boy’s head.
/fine with January Jone’s tits, however
October 18th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Trickeration fail
October 18th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
I wish my mom were Andrea Kramer!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Damn cutler gets on my nerves haha
Wish Jets played a bit smarter, might have been a good game. Oh well.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Could be worse. CC Sabbathia ’s abs could taunt you while Ryan Reynold throws a baseball at balloon boy’s head.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
DAMN YOU JANUARY YOUR BOOBS ARE PHOTOSHOPPED
October 18th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
STOP STARING AT ME WHILE I JERK OFF TO RYAN’S ABS
October 18th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
I don’t care if January’s boobs are drawn with crayola crayon, they are heavenly and pure and the source of all magnanimity.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Finally, theyve switched to watchable football
October 18th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Mumble mumble…long snapper…high school….blah blah blah. Shut up Al.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Watchable what?
October 18th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
TRUE FACT: January’s boobs brokered three Mideast ceasefire agreements in the last 18 months.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
TRUE FACT: January’s boobs know where the “magic shortcut” is in Bed Bath and Beyond.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Greg Olsen moves, runs routes, and gets tackled by much smaller men like no other TE in the game.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Did you guys see Matt Ryan’s face after that interception? He looked like Daniel Son after Johnny swept the leg and Teen Wolf Vegas stomach punch gambling Jack-O I never liked the Red Sox anyway. That face is definitely in my top 10 list of top 10 imaginary lists I’ve made up in the last hour.
/Simmons’d
October 18th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Did they shoot Saw 6 between the afternoon and night game?
October 18th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Yes, these are my .45s!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Dropkakkke!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Is Roddy White on sabbatical this quarter? Did he do something to peeve young Master Ryan?
October 18th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
That was simply awesome.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
FAKERCEPTION!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Arthur Blank looks like he regularly has money fights.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
FIX YO GROUND
October 18th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Northern Illinois is on display TO-NIGHT! YEAH! Go Huskies.
/DeKalb is a shit hole.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Arthur Blank finds football to be a jolly diversion to his typical employment as a train robber.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
INCOMPLETERCEPTION
Also just want to say: Thanks to today I accidentally DREW BREES’d all over the guy i’m playing in Fantasy. Feels gooooood.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
MR: “Trust my sensitive, baby-smooth face to be the face of your franchise.”
October 18th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
is it me or is Mercy and Trauma the same show? Just like that Jay Leno and Tonight Show.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Next week: Giants vs Saints-Lite; now 20% more competitive.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
It was awkward at Falcons training camp when Arthur Blank offered Tony Gonzalez a job at Home Depot.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
You can say Ryan Fitzpatrick played poorly—easy case to make based on the stats.
But he played intelligently. He knew his limitations, especially in this specific situation.
He made a key td pass, he was effective with something teams are afraid to use—the qb sneak–
and the things he did which were good, came at key times in the game. One really bad int, and one near miracle completion overuled, but followed by the winning field goal.
The most intelligent thing he did—after T. Owens dropped a perfect pass, along with some catchable ones–
his attitude was I will throw to someone else. He kept the team from falling apart. or panicing after disappointments.
IMy team is the Rams—I watched them draft him in the 7th round, trade him for a 7th round pick, and pay millions for people like Trent Green and now it is Boller to back up—Mark Bulger. Last year he won more games for the Bengals
than Bulger did for the Rams—and now he is one ahead for this season. Not that bad a backup. Terrell needs to be polite to him, practice a little harder, and maybe he will get some more passes thrown his way.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
Throw a cutlerception you emo whore!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
kjoe = tl;dr
October 18th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Argh you gotta recover that -3.5!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
YEEESSS GAMBLEGASM
October 18th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
FORTE FAIL
October 18th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
@obit-rice: Basically, yes. Mercy’s got more difficult-to-stomach “acting” moments, Trauma more crashes and show-not-tell characterization. Trauma’s, like, 30 percent less shitty.
/Had flu last week
October 18th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Ugh, Cutlerfucker. This is the most depressing NFL Sunday I’ve ever had.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Lipitor? I hardly even know her- ah forget it
October 18th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Good job Chris. Thanks for fucking the Bears.
/not joking
//I hate the Bears
October 18th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
FORTUMBLE!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
“But he played intelligently”
well i’d hope so, he did go to HAHHHVAHHHD after all didnt he?
October 18th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
So fumbling is not his “forte”?
I’ll show myself out…
October 18th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Michael Turner: hardest-working 2-yard gains in the business.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Argh even the joy of gambling and winning is overshadowed by JANUARY JONES QUIT STARING AT MEEEEEE
October 18th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
PINO TINOISAMOA: Questionable (dipthongs)
October 18th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
sulksulksulk
October 18th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
Well Ben, it is not like he edited the Harvard law review—but I
witnessed some pretty unintelligent qb play by others today.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
@kjoe:
I know what you mean.
Why, Matt Ryan said “macroeconomics” when he obviously meant “microeconomics” in TWO separate sideline conversations!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
AFALAVA IN YA EAR!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
“Special” teams fail.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Did you knpw January Jone’s tits cure cancer?
For more info call: 1-800-Soft-N-Creamy
October 18th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Does Michael Jenkins get credit for a “set” or a “kill” on that one?
October 18th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
When did this game turn into the pickeration fest?
October 18th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Collinsworth describing the bears: “What a trainwreck”
October 18th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
That last play made me glad I started Matt Ryan and that I’m going against a guy with Bears D. Thanks Jenkins.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Ahh, I love Collinsworth’s refreshing candor.
+Nightmare Falcon sighting!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Every time that DirectTV commercial comes on I’m like, “oh look, a hot semi-clothed chick!” only to find out it’s Fergie. Every god. damn. ime. Stop it. Just stop showing it.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Cutlersprinter!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
sulkjukesulkjukesulkjuke
October 18th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
He sure can sulk down the field.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
FLOAT
October 18th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
Sulky smooth, almost.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
Jam ya in the throat!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
Frank Grimes?
October 18th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
cutlerference!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Overfloat
October 18th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Fuck your fucking balls, Chelios!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Oh, Brent Grimes.
Or as he liked to be called, Grimey.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Jezus these rainbows are killing me.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
Helluva pass by Sulkface there.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
timeoutsulk
October 18th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Guh, My FF opponent has Cutlerfucker -.- and I have Forte, I was leading by one point till Forte decided he suddenly became allergic to keeping the ball and scoring a touchdown…
October 18th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
IT’S TOO FACKIN COLD TO PAY BAHSEBAWL! THA ANGELS CAHN’T PLAY! IT’S NAWT FAY-UH!
/sorry I cannot let that go
October 18th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
I hate the fade route, why take away all your options for a one-on-one, especially when your one is Greg fucking Olsen.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
my dumb truck can kick your smart truck’s tool-finding AAAASSSSSSSSSSS
October 18th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
TOUCHCUTLER!
October 18th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
And it is with great regret and furious anal discomfort that I most humbly announce…my death in the suicide pool.
Fuck.
You.
Eagles.
But then again my reality team is 6-0, which is nice. For our next selection I will be performing the B-More Bitch Slap. Hey slim, stick with me on 3-3 beat. On one and a two.
SKOL Vikings let’s go!
October 18th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
“whats your name? g-reg
what you do? i get head”
October 18th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
RAIDERS WIN SUPER BOWL XV REMATCH!!! CAPSLOCK SUNDAY UP IN THIS BITCH!!! SUCK IT IGGLES!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
For a team that’s a ‘trainwreck’ and ‘confused’ they are tied up in the 4th quarter on the road, Collinsworth…
October 18th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Cutlerpicker or Cutlerscratcher?
October 18th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
I keep thinking they’re saying “Awful Waffle”…
/was a rather big fan of Salute Your Shorts
October 18th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
GAMBLEGASM
October 18th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
3 minutes left? Too much time on the clock? Cutlerfucker can throw 3 more pickerceptions in this much time!
October 18th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
DO IT FOR JANUARY JONES
October 18th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Ooh, nice shot of Cutlersulker on the TD.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Damn you January WHY CAN’T I MAKE YOU ORGASM
October 18th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
Johnny Knox is… um… not a smart kick returner.
methinks he doesn’t get that from the gritty side of his family.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
Flubby, I love you and all that but without the Biletnikoff stickum, that was us with a ring dammit. We could have been a contender, instead of fat, drunk and stupid which is what we are! Hey, is that garlic bread?
October 18th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
Defend the spread!
October 18th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
Just win, baby!
October 18th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Is Elisha allowed to stay up that late on a School night?
October 18th, 2009 at 11:18 pm
Flizoat
October 18th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Offensive Line Fail.
sulksacksulksacksulksack
October 18th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
FRAGD
October 18th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
protect my balls.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
I’m gettin FIRED UP! BIG WIN TIME!
October 18th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
and STOP STARING AT ME JANUARYYYYYYYY
October 18th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Flagfest
October 18th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Holy crap is this Bear’s offense terrible. Just terrible.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
It looks like catching passes is not Matt’s….. Forte…
/sunglasses.
YEAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
Nice coverage
October 18th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
YES! MAKE A GAME OF IT! YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME!
October 18th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
pacefucker!
October 18th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Comedy
October 18th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Flozell’d that 4th and 1
October 18th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
FAILPACE
October 18th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
FAKE PUNT
October 18th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
@Rob in WI: I banish you to TBS. You will be offering color commentary behind Chip Caray.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
Chris Collinsworth just had several orgasms.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
cutlerloser!
October 18th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
Sulkcrysulkcrysulkcry
October 18th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
No frags. Victory.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
Looks like Orlando should have ….. paced himself
/sunglasses
YEAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
Yeahhh, Olsen’s not having a breakout season, no way.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
pinksulk
October 18th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
A man has two things in this world. His word and his balls. Ok maybe that’s three things.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
sulklosesulklosesulklose
October 18th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
I bet Cutler is gonna curl up with a blanket, some hot cocoa, and a nice bottle of insulin tonight. Sulk away young man.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Insulin is a quality choice, Bones. I’ll save you a seat in the front row of Hell.
See the concierge for an upgrade. Let’s give a special shout out to all my Ravens fans.
Deirdorph: “I tell you, that Joe Flacco”..
Well you’re dead now, so shut up!
October 19th, 2009 at 12:26 am
Fucking fuck on a fuckbiscuit, I come in to the SNF game with a 2pt lead and leave down by 13pts…my only hope is for Lazerface to throw to Gates a lot tomorrow night…
October 19th, 2009 at 12:30 am
Lovie to his players//
“ok guys, let’s go out there and tear shit up. We’ll throw 2 interceptions and not block for the qb or our running backs. Two, we will get confused on defense when Hotlanta has 5 wideouts set and we’ll not be ready for the snap. Three, we gotta make sure to turn the ball over in the redzone, it’s a must.”
October 19th, 2009 at 12:42 am
Chi Bears need a new coach, new o-line, new everything. Fuck my life.
October 19th, 2009 at 12:44 am
Wow.
// gives golf clap to chicago bears performance…
October 19th, 2009 at 1:02 am
Is Cutlefucker riding the white pony, or is the L in Chi Town cutlefucking his beauty sleep. Please run a picture of him and Jeff Van Gundy together. I know you don’t do bball, but those racoon eyes are a news story worth talking about more than the celebrity seeking little brat who wasn’t in the hot air balloon. Where’s Joe Wilson to yell “You Lie” when this piece of shit opens his mouth. Blaming your dad and your nanny for putting you up to it…For shame. Oh wait, that aint the nanny.
Suck me,
ap
October 19th, 2009 at 6:24 am
Is Cutlefucker riding the white pony, or is the L in Chi Town cutlefucking his beauty sleep. Please run a picture of him and Jeff Van Gundy together. I know you don’t do bball, but those racoon eyes are a news story worth talking about more than the celebrity seeking little brat who wasn’t in the hot air balloon. Where’s Joe Wilson to yell “You Lie” when this piece of shit opens his mouth. Blaming your dad and your nanny for putting you up to it…For shame. Oh wait, that aint the nanny.
Suck me,
ap
OH! You’re my new favorite blogger fyi
October 19th, 2009 at 7:38 am
stupid raiders were supposed to loose again
October 19th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Seriously, Maj — your team lost to the Lions and my Chiefs?
I think we should follow EPL rules and send the Redskins down to play in the UFL for a while.
October 19th, 2009 at 9:28 am
Okay, so Dante Wesley is a dirty cock for that hit, but you’ll give a KC defensive lineman $25 for taking out Tom Brady’s knee in 2008? Right. My only question is why couldn’t the Titans play dirty yesterday as well?
October 19th, 2009 at 9:35 am
/wakes up from Chief win drunken haze pants around ankles hangover
so…did I miss anything else in football yesterday?
wait, the Iggles lost?
October 19th, 2009 at 11:59 am
But, but, but PUSSYTUBING! Well it was a whirlwind love affair we all had with the J-E-T-S, but seems like the more things change, the more things stay the same; good ‘ol awful Jets.