balloonshockey

The unbeaten Giants travel to the Superdome Sunday to play the undefeated Saints. It’s a supremely consequential game that could play a large part in the eventual make-up of the NFC playoff picture. But let’s not that allow all that meaningful subtext to get in the way of petty grudges one player holds against the team that made him a star. But it’s not just any former player – it’s a heroic douchebag that the more obnoxious members of the Giants fanbase still cling to as though he invented chin strap facial hair and chain smoking. Meanwhile, that player is promising to have his best game of the year against his former team. Since he’s already has two TDs in one game, he must be promising three. Will he deliver. WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Tom Coughlin______________________Jeremy Shockey

What’s his specialty?

SCREAMSCREAMSCREAMING_________________Bearing unique cocktails of STDs

What did he do to frighten Eli?

Use non-inside voice while inside__________________Get non-temporary tattoos

Has he passed out in Vegas?

CAN YOU PASS OUT FROM SCREAMING?! THEN YES!______________Blacked out anytime not on field

Can he get away with mixed race marriages in his state?

DON’T CARE! TOO BUSY SCREAMING!___________________Guess not

Does he remain a Giant or is he Jeremy Shockey?

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Did Anyone Hear Him Screaming “Falcon, Falcon”?

One redeeming accomplishment

That Super Bowl he won___________________Screwing Vida Guerra

Finishing move

Being relevant_________________________Being lucky enough to have Drew Brees throwing to him