Screamy Taskmaster vs. Washed-Up Star and STD Repository. WHO YA GOT?
The unbeaten Giants travel to the Superdome Sunday to play the undefeated Saints. It’s a supremely consequential game that could play a large part in the eventual make-up of the NFC playoff picture. But let’s not that allow all that meaningful subtext to get in the way of petty grudges one player holds against the team that made him a star. But it’s not just any former player – it’s a heroic douchebag that the more obnoxious members of the Giants fanbase still cling to as though he invented chin strap facial hair and chain smoking. Meanwhile, that player is promising to have his best game of the year against his former team. Since he’s already has two TDs in one game, he must be promising three. Will he deliver. WHO YA GOT?
Tom Coughlin______________________Jeremy Shockey
What’s his specialty?
SCREAMSCREAMSCREAMING_________________Bearing unique cocktails of STDs
What did he do to frighten Eli?
Use non-inside voice while inside__________________Get non-temporary tattoos
Has he passed out in Vegas?
CAN YOU PASS OUT FROM SCREAMING?! THEN YES!______________Blacked out anytime not on field
Can he get away with mixed race marriages in his state?
DON’T CARE! TOO BUSY SCREAMING!___________________Guess not
Does he remain a Giant or is he Jeremy Shockey?
Did Anyone Hear Him Screaming “Falcon, Falcon”?
One redeeming accomplishment
That Super Bowl he won___________________Screwing Vida Guerra
Finishing move
Being relevant_________________________Being lucky enough to have Drew Brees throwing to him
Tags: jeremy shockey, this is what playing for coughlin does to you, who ya got?, xmas ape
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October 16th, 2009 at 8:39 am
Needs more Shockey premature celebration.
October 16th, 2009 at 9:05 am
The Heene family is pig disgusting. Nothing but attention whores.
October 16th, 2009 at 9:13 am
Wow, apparently Larry King has sunk pretty low, too. Also, Maj is going to get you for posting a link to a Wale vid before he did.
October 16th, 2009 at 9:21 am
One redeeming accomplishment: Screwing Vida Guerra
But is that really an accomplishment if half of Jersey has done it too?
In any case, I hope Shockey spreads his STDs all over the Giants’ linebackers and defensive backs. The Breesus could use having another multiple TD game.
October 16th, 2009 at 9:22 am
Any other city would’ve quarantined Shockey. So yeah, New Orleans is perfect for him.
October 16th, 2009 at 9:23 am
Does he remain a Giant or is he Jeremy Shockey?
+1
/obvious
October 16th, 2009 at 9:26 am
I’m not sure whether to be pissed at the Heene family or stand up and give them the slow clap for the ballsiest publicity stunt in history.
October 16th, 2009 at 9:28 am
Jeremy could still Shock-me…
/I will go to the corner now.
//I really like the douchebags sometimes…..ugh
October 16th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Mo- http://deadspin.com/5343755/bruntletts-unassisted-triple-play-closes-out-the-mets
October 16th, 2009 at 9:46 am
The Heene family deserves “The Strangers” treatment. Fucking whackjobs. Anyone who calls themselves an extra-terresstial hunter should be sent to Auschwitz and forced to relight the furnaces before being shoved in by Mel Gibson.
October 16th, 2009 at 10:37 am
So… who’s cocktail of STDs kills first? Urlacher or Shockey?
October 16th, 2009 at 10:37 am
sigh.
I miss Sexy Friday already
October 16th, 2009 at 10:42 am
I would also like to point out that Shockey’s tattoo of a bald eagle wrapped in an American flag is pretty cool. If you’re into giant tattoos.
And Maj – I figured you already had. I’m just glad it wasn’t on this site. Then I’d look REALLY stupid.
October 16th, 2009 at 11:04 am
STD repository = Reggie Bush
Give credit where credit is due.
October 16th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Normally, when you see a picture of Reggie Bush next to someone labeled “Washed-Up TV Star and STD Repository,” she has a bigger ass.
October 16th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Jesus. I would ratherbe be raised Joe Jackson. The one WITH the shoes.
October 16th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Wale references should be put into every post.
October 16th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Coughlin pops black and gold bottles like he’s pro New Orleans, but shawty he’s far from a Saint
October 16th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
I believe that ditty by Wale is what the kids call the hipping and the hopping type music.
October 16th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Agree with PlayoffBeard. That would really make this blog flyer than the rest of em.
/still got his Nike boots
October 16th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Shockey pfft. What a fucking cockgobbler. Overrated as they come. I loved how he would jump around after an inconsequencial 3 yard catch in his own territory in the first quarter. Is he still doing that?
October 16th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Eff Shockey. Giants are 19-3 in their last 22 on the road. 17-2 ATS in their last 19. Take those 3.5 points and run.
October 16th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
I am convinced when Shockey played for the Giants he did something to his helmet that made it pop off easier. That shit was always coming off when he got hit.
October 16th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Did no one else besides Brian and me assume that Bush was the STD repository upon seeing the picture?
October 17th, 2009 at 2:03 am
I assumed it too. With Bush’s dating habits, I’m pretty sure that he’s being studied by the CDC to see if any new STDs are evolving.
October 17th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Man I bet Bush would make more money as a biological STD weapon research experiment than he does playing ball lol