“Geezus hell, son. What is the name of f-ckall is that thing your face?
You didn’t let my boy Sanchez take you down Tiajuanee way didja?”
A clash of undefeateds headline an otherwise ho-hum slate of late afternoon games. There is a glorious silver lining, but I’m saving that for the end of the post. First, a look at the match-ups:
Jets at Saints – A battle of two 3-0 teams. One will go to 4-0, the other will learn that a rookie QB can only take you so far before he gets exposed.
Buffalo at Miami – Dear TO: Thanks for the zero fantasy points last week, dick. Meanwhile, the Dolphins are winless and starting Chad Henne today. Miami fans would be panicking if they actually gave a rat’s ass.
Cowboys at Broncos – The Broncos have jumped out to 3-0 against less-than-stellar competition. Things get a bit tougher for them starting today against Dallas. Jerry Jones isn’t scared of Josh McDaniels’s SuperAIDS: “Ever’body knows TixasAIDS will drop a chargin’ longhorn dead in its tracks. YEEEEEHAW!!!”
Rams at 49ers – Screw the 49ers sideways for giving ESPN a signature Favre highlight to show non-stop this week. Kyle Boller gets the start this week for St. Louis. If he’s able to resurrect the winless Rams’ moribund offense, their could be a Bulger-Boller battle brewing.
My fantasy teams are off to a shaky start and my Raiders’ crapulence continues unabated. However, there’s a new AT&T Rollover Minutes MILF commercial, so all’s right with my world.
You wouldn’t need to use that shrew-like telecommunications based berating on me, baby,
because I’d never waste a minute of our time together.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/tebow-belichick-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/cam-and-jordan-150x150.jpg)
Running Tashard Choice worked so well that Jason Garrett decided to throw at Champ Bailey some 15 times. Tony Romo is NOT a GD STARRA, he’s an average QB. A good quarter, a bad quarter. Good half, bad half.
The Cowboys are in trouble offensively.
Sparkles, Professional Male Model > Mark Sanchez, biter of finger nails
Kyle Orton, magic quarterback.
I swear, St. Louis should be playing in the Lingerie Football League.
Much like Marmalard, I’m all for a successful McDaniels… because when it crashes and burns, it will be that much more spectacular
While I’m always happy to watch the Cowboys lose (bwah-haa-hhaaaa!), I’m not sure I’m prepared to live in a world where McDaniels is a brilliant young coach rather than a power-mad asshole.
God, Romo just screwed my team today.
/Knows no one cares
//Praying for miraculous performance from Mewelde Moore tonight
SuperAIDS FTW
Cripes… where did that ending come from…
RomoFail
Fuck…another 2 quarters of this kind of football and I’d actually have to admit that Dallas-Denver was an interesting game. Of course somewhere Mcnabb is thinking that it could go another 2 quarters.
Yikes – this Denver/Dallas game is getting, dare I say, halfway entertaining.
Coach McDaniels’ SuperAIDS is more powerful than everyone thought.
Maybe Marshall should have fallen down so Denver could run out the clock and kick a game-ending field goal. Then again, maybe there’s no way in hell Romo can lead a touchdown drive in the next 1:47 no matter what, so it’s all moot.
Holy shit. Brandon Marshall smears SuperAIDS all over the Cowboys’ faces
Kyle Orton gon drank.
MEASTY catch and run by Brandon Marshall… Joe Buck even seemed awake calling it
I never really understood all the Sanchez/Namath comparisons until I watched him throw all those INTs today. NOW I get it!
Did you SEE how the refs stole the game from our beloved Ravens? When will the league stop hating on poor Ray Lewis?
SuperAIDsian call by McDaniels going for it there
Kyle Boller reminding all the bad QBs in the league why he is still the worst
And that’s what happens when you go away from Pierre Thomas
Pink box!
@Clare
S&M?
/Creeping on Internet Ladies since 1983
@LaFavre’s Next Interception: I live to serve.
@ Clare – Way to kill a boner!
Well the Jets are containing Brees. If only they could contain Sanchez.
Maybe we can intercept a timeout from sanchez
Why do I get stuck with Dallas-Denver and the Joe Buck-Troy Aikman Mutual Masturbation Extravaganze when there are other, somewhat compelling games taking place. I mean shit I’m living in Providence. FIX YO GEOGRAPHY, Fox.
I really feel badly for the AT&T rollover minutes actress…no one will ever cast her ever again as anything but a screeching harpy.
Is Mark Sanchez playing for the Saints…defense?
Apparently.
Saints… defense?
Thanks, flub.
Well that’s no fun.
Shayne Graham hit a FG as time expired.
what the hell happened in Cincy? the online playbyplay is all f’ed up.
Hang on, is OT not sudden death anymore? When did that change?
What was I worried about. Browns give up a 15 yard scramble to busted leg Carson Palmer, to snatch defeat from the jaws of mediocrity. God am I glad they brought the Mangenius to cleveland.
GODDAMNIT CINCY YOU CAN’T EVEN SUCK WELL. YOU WERE GOING TO BE FUNNY AND THEN YOU HAD TO GO AND FUCK IT UP.
They punted? Hi, we have no balls.
are the Bengals lining up for a 57 yarder?
If I pick a team in the ESPN ELIMINATOR CHALLENGE and they tie, am I still alive? Technically they didn’t lose, right?
F’in bengals…
Oh good, somebody else who’d like to Rollover the AT&T MILF. Oh crap, he’s a Raiders fan.
Where are Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez? Ted Ginn hasn’t dropped a touchdown pass in at least 15 minutes, and I want my money back.
Dirty Sanchez’d!!!
Darren Sharper will have none of your “pussy-tubing”.
McNabb isn’t sure if this CIN-CLE game can end in a tie
The Battle of Ohio, the game where there are no winners
Good for what ails ya, Romo: Playing Denver’s D.
Now that’s not fair. There are a solid five or six of us who care enough to panic. It’s just that we already know Henne’s a moron, so there’s no sense in it.
Damn, she was yummy a few years ago!
“Raiders crapulence” Well put. If you are not a Raider fan they are a laugh-riot to watch.