Because those of us who root for teams that don’t sign Favre in a desperate and misguided attempt at getting a title never have our feelings conflicted. We can still delight in all his failings, especially when they finally surface against our (my) favorite team

MWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

/gets Mastodon and Queens of the Stone Age to disband only to ruin Drew’s day further

//includes consolation photo of Vikings jersey customized with the Peterson nickname Drew coined

Airbrushed motorcycles with Scarface and Steelers themes. Only available on display outside Jerome Bettis’ bar and in every exurban shopping mall food court in the country.

And of all the lazy name plate replacements I’ve seen on mid-’90s pre-Steelers-uniform-design Kordell Stewart jerseys, this one is at least among the top 10 most generic.

It’s Your 4 PM Open Thread.

Hey, babe. We’ve been together for quite some time, now. Sure, three months may not seem that long to a lot of people, but I think it’s great. Come on inside. Sit down for a second. I have to ask you something.

Baby, would you be willing to sign a prenup?

NO NO NO, that wasn’t a proposal! Baby, I just wanted to know that if we ever got to that point where we’d be able to–Baby, what ring?! I don’t have a ring. No, I just wanted to know if that was something you’d consider. After all, you never gave my wanting anal or that gang-bang with Jordan Palmer a second thought.

Baby, where ya going? Come back! All I’m talking about is a previously negotiated division of property in the instance of dissolution! Any maybe some more anal! Baby, please!

Oh, you wanted a preview of the actual games? Sheesh. Alright… Read the rest of this entry »

Two warnings to UK NFL fans: 1) the Bucs are about as competitive as the London Silly Nannies
and betting against the Patriots can lead to embarrassing consequences (NSFW!)

 
A possible Super Bowl preview headlines an otherwise lackluster lineup of early games…

Minnesota at Pittsburgh – The undefeated Vikings come into Heinz Field for the first ever meeting of Brett Favre and Ben Roethlisberger. However, the outcome might not turn on either quarterback but the absence of the Vikes’ corner Antoine Winfield who is out for up to a month. If the Steelers come up with a victory today, maybe Roethlisberger can crack Trent Dilfer’s dumbass top five list.

New England vs. Tampa Bay – The NFL makes another visit to London today, even if it’s not the spectacle it once was. If the Brits are going to get four games per season, it’s high time they get accustomed to the great American tradition of the “dog game.” Most television markets won’t even get this game; which is a good thing considering that the Bucs are involved. However, Tampa Bay will have more fans in attendance than you might expect.– the Bucs have a strong British following. You go England, enjoy the game and your spotted dick.

Read the rest of this entry »

You’ll notice that this is neither the Friday Five nor Sexy Friday. We got rid of Sexy Friday because too many people bitched about it not being posted by the time they wanted it to be posted, and when we posted it other people would bitch about whichever image of an attractive woman not being sexy enough. So we replaced it with the Friday Five, which has led to three weeks of bitching about there not being a Sexy Friday, without any kind of realization that that’s the exact kind of behavior we delight in punishing.

This is symptomatic of a larger trend. In general, the quality of the comments at KSK has declined dramatically over the last year or so, so let’s get some things straight.

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It’s good to be back in the saddle after trading places with Ufford last week. Hopefully this week I can pick up right where I left off last time around. Today I’ll be picking three games with another three prop bets for good measure.

On to the picks!

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Rob the Crying Giants Fan first rose to prominence here at KSK, so it’s nice to see his story reach a televised audience, even if Daniel Tosh’s Web Redemption missed the little things that made the original video so delightful, like Rob joining the comments section and egging on our legion of satanic jackals to be crueler to him.

But still, this is great. “Tosh.0″ is like a better-edited version of the internet without retarded commenters. Cheers to Tosh and Comedy Central for putting the spotlight on Rob, who (to his credit) would rather see the Giants win the Super Bowl than see Osama bin Laden captured. I can respect that kind of insane fanaticism. From a distance. With a taser.

(Oh, and Daniel? Lose the cardigan, homo.)

They wrote books you probably didn’t buy. They like teams you probably don’t like. They’re gormless lazy fapwits who spend many days without pants formulating idiotic one-note caricatures of football players and coaches, all who yell and cuss a lot. It sometimes reaches a kind of crude brilliance, but mostly it doesn’t. But now their teams face one another in regular season battle reeking of quasi-LeBronish import. IT’S A FIVE-THROWGASM GAME! [Quick aside: I will be at this game because, unlike Drew, I don't rely on Gawker (which has its head so far up the ass of some midlevel ESPN employee that no cares about - much better than getting a flight booked correctly) for getting around]. Anyway, WHO YA GOT?

Many of you have taken to writing ONLY a fantasy football question, which kind of irks me. We’re giving free mediocre fantasy advice here, and all we ask for in return is a window into your sordid sex life. Is that really so much to ask?

But then some of you write in with only sex-related questions, and I realize that perhaps that balances things out. Besides, I’ve always preached brevity, so it would seem strange to demand uninteresting questions you don’t really care about. So you may all continue to flaunt the rules. For now.

This week: manscaping, girl farts, Ryan Grant, bye week dilemmas, reunions, bad trades, mailbag etiquette, sterility, dog poo, and Dungeons and Dragons metaphors. Let’s do it.

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Snyder incapable of hiring coach or GM, might allow beloved old man to do it for him. The latest rumor surrounding the woebegone Redskins is that Dan Snyder could bring Joe Gibbs back to oversee the franchise a la Bill Parcells in Miami. The biggest difference between the two is that Parcells has always been singularly focused on the NFL whereas Gibbs spends his time running a NASCAR team and spreading the word of Christ. Noble endeavors no doubt, but the fact remains that Gibbs isn’t really in tune with the goings on around the league. After all, this is the same guy who reacted to Snyder’s enthusiasm regarding Jim Zorn as a head coaching candidate by declaring, “That’s neat.” FML. [PFT]

Update: ESPN 980 reports that a Gibbs return is unlikely.

Rob, the Giants fan who transmogrified from regular sweatshirted lumpy guy to a weepy pathetic slimy mess following his team’s loss to the Eagles in divisional playoffs last year, gets a chance at some web redemption tomorrow night courtesy of tosh.0. Just remember Comedy Central producers, WE HAD HIS PATHETIC DISPLAY OF SNIVELING BLUBBERY BLUBBERING FIRST! WE DEMAND AT MINIMUM ONE SCREEN CAP FROM THE BLOG ON THE SHOW! OR EVEN THE CHANCE TO WRITE A PILOT FOR THE NETWORK THAT DESPERATELY TRIES TO COPY THE EDGINESS AND RACIAL HUMOR OF CHAPPELLE’S SHOW AND FAILS MISERABLY! WE’RE UP TO THE TASK!