Hispanic Heritage No Match For “Cannon Armed” White Guys From Michigan
Even Suzy can’t believe Braylon caught balls tonight.
Last year with the Ravens, Rex Ryan’s defense made dolphin-filled tuna out of the Wildcat formation. Surely there was no way that Miami could win unless they did it like the Saints did last week – get more points off Sanchise turnovers than from their own offense. This time, though, the Dolphins donned their unbeatable orange duds and laid 31 points on the Pussytubers, while Chad Henne (CHAD HENNE!) registered a QB rating of 130.
“I have watched as you have grown complacent in your opulence, gringo grosso. As you have sat, dined and slobbered on your many chins, I have been at work, perfecting the deadly arts of…”
And while there was a highly entertaining affair on the field, the real contest of the night pitted the spastic Dolphins male cheerleader’s antics against the wild pom-pommed gyrations of Straw Hatted Jets Snow Blob. C’mon guys, WHO YA GOT?
Some more Miami crowd retardery after the jump.
I’m not much of a gambling man, but I’d be willing to lay down a couple grand minimum that this douche used the South Park fishsticks joke to try to get laid at least a dozen times after the game.
“Here’s the deal, Barn’ – you keep Wilma and Betty occupied while I jump in this Jetsons crossover time machine to the future so I can watch Hispanic Heritage being honored during a football game. Can you imagine, Barn’? We don’t even let Hispanics do manual labor in the Stone Age. We leave that to common beasts. These future people is just plain nutty.”
Tags: DREW CURSED REX!, matron saint, mnf recap, Rafael gifs, Sanchise, xmas ape
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October 13th, 2009 at 1:10 am
I wanted to watch Monday Night Football, not Futbol. I don’t give a damn if it’s Cesar Chavez day or not.
October 13th, 2009 at 1:12 am
Gato Montes!
+1.
Good translation. Lofty translation. Excellent eye discipline.
October 13th, 2009 at 1:20 am
Over-Caffeinated Dolphin cheerleader for 20 large, Alex.
Gato Montes says I am good for eet.
Do you know Gato Montes, Jefe?
October 13th, 2009 at 1:43 am
Goddamn that’s a good bad MSPaint
October 13th, 2009 at 1:59 am
I still say the sombrero dude is like Rex Ryan ate Scott Caan right before he got cloned.
October 13th, 2009 at 2:02 am
They should’ve made it more like Sabado Gigante. Y bailamos!
October 13th, 2009 at 2:06 am
They should’ve made it more like Sabado Gigante
What about Reporte Colberto Gigante con Esteban Colberto? Chicas! Chicas!
And I may have to change my name to Gato Montes as Reggie Bush seems determined to sully our good name.
October 13th, 2009 at 3:42 am
Not shown in The Matron’s pic – Joe Namath’s hand goosing Suzy’s ass.
October 13th, 2009 at 5:02 am
To be fair, Dallas’ Mexican did pull out a win this week.
Viva Antonio Ramiro Romo!
October 13th, 2009 at 7:06 am
Is it just me, or is “Suzy” the sluttiest name in the English language?
October 13th, 2009 at 7:11 am
Also, where do I get one of those velvet portraits of Sanchise?
October 13th, 2009 at 7:15 am
Not to disrespect the Matron Saint, but I can’t look at the attached picture and not wanna put something salty and delicious in her mouth.
October 13th, 2009 at 7:53 am
Die in a fire you spamming cunt.
October 13th, 2009 at 7:56 am
someone needs to cook up a bad MS paint of LL Cool Black clowning on mofos in front of a massive Direct TV-toting widescreen as Chad Henne goes all “CHAAADDDD HENNNEEEEEEEE” on the pussytubers. that ain’t right fam! (tip of the cap to the matron)
October 13th, 2009 at 8:13 am
I’ll give her more than my tip.
October 13th, 2009 at 8:57 am
ya catch the ‘tard get rejected by Gloria Estephan when he wanted her to sign his wirey forearm? she’s a better class of celebrity.
also, D. Wade’s caliente date was awkwardly shoved away right as they cut to him and Mark Anthony doing their best ‘Shovin’ Buddies’ bit. perhaps not his main squeeze? DETAILS, GIRLFRIEND!
October 13th, 2009 at 9:01 am
when’s tawmmy from quinzee going to weigh in on Black Sunday? I want to know his pain
October 13th, 2009 at 9:39 am
I actually went to that movie theater in Mexico City they cut to. It was the most fun I’ve ever had for a preseason game.
October 13th, 2009 at 9:55 am
After that Edwards catch that ended up on the 1 (post review) I wonder how many Cleveland fans were swearing at their TV?
October 13th, 2009 at 10:04 am
seeing pom-pom jet fan was my lowest moment on this earth
October 13th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Mungo no love Jets…Mungo Straight!
October 13th, 2009 at 10:35 am
do my eyes deceive me, or is that “mongo” from “blazing saddles” wearing a jets t-shirt??
October 13th, 2009 at 10:42 am
@SafetyDan: that’s a trick question. Cleveland has no fans
October 13th, 2009 at 10:48 am
The fat guy (um, the one in the green shirt) looks like he’s on the Price Is Right, waiting for Bob Barker (or whoever who does that show now) to tell him to come on down. And, yeah, he also looks like Mongo. That’s the point at which a lot of people would say, “Wow, I guess I need to lose some weight.”
October 13th, 2009 at 10:50 am
The NFL is taking this awareness stuff too far. Next week for National Keilbasa Day they are going to allow S Holmes to play without pants. On a related note, C Cooley will do the same for National Lil Smokies Day.
October 13th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Jets pom-pom guy clearly wins for being the worst because everyone behind him looks horrified by his waddling. Also, he’s mouthing the J-E-T-S chant.
October 13th, 2009 at 11:48 am
GIF of the Night: http://i35.tinypic.com/280vaqd.gif
October 13th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
I would love to see the lady sitting in front of Joe Namath a gain.
October 13th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Somewhere, deep within his mountain lair, Gay Zorro is perfecting the deadly art of GATO MOTÉS.
October 13th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Boy, fire-douchebag Ed has really let himself go.
Is anyone else starting to get a Theisman vibe from Chucky yet?
When I was coaching…….. When I called plays…….. When people still thought I was a good coach………….
October 13th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Matron Saintess is looking like Richie Cunningham’s mom a little there. Not saying I would’nt still totally wreck her.
That would be madness.
October 13th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Did anyone else see the ridiculous hot that Joe Namath had with him in his suite? She could turn Gay Zorro Straight…
October 13th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
I so enjoyed Hispanic Marketing Month last night. Maybe next month, American Indian Heritage Month, the oppenents of the Chiefs and Redskins can forfeit their games to those two teams as a sign of respect?
October 13th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
so the jets fan in me kept saying, “this is the dolphins…the jets will find a way to win this game.”
then they didn’t.
so i am thinking the fortunes have turned.
SUPER BOWL FOR THE CHEZ.
October 13th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
I know the Snow Blob. Last year he was on TV for the same game. He wore a green and white feathered boa, with the same pom poms. Dude is actually in a wheelchair — he has no legs. Not that it excuses the personality, but still…
October 13th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
So how long into the game before those seated behind ‘blue shark fin hat’ guy shoved it up his ass for blocking their view? I personally would have done it at the tailgate.
October 13th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Did anyone else see Braylon drop the pass during warm ups when he was throwing with Sanchize?
As always, he’ll catch the crazy shit, but can’t catch a hitch or a slant to save his life.
October 13th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
And yes, I’d also like to see more of the hot chick sitting in front of Joe Willie
October 13th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Mongo like Mark Sanchez! Mongo develop deep feelings for Mark Sanchez!
October 13th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
we need to see that that chick Joe Willy was kicking game to. The guy is definitely saucing again. She was hot
October 13th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
I’m proud to say that my “iGato Montes!” Photoshop has been posted in a KSK column. I can die happy.
October 13th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Playof beard-the best thing seen alle evening. Que pechas!
October 13th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
Tawmmy says: “Fackin’ illegals!”
October 14th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
During a key third down they showed Marc (Mark? Merc?) Anthony standing to cheer on the Defense. Jennifer Lopez saw the camera, rolled her eyes and gave a “puto! Ok I weel stand up tambien” look before clapping. I hope you all caught it. Made my night.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
“@ndhwn And yes, I’d also like to see more of the hot chick sitting in front of Joe Willie”
That was his daughter, she is smokin hot