It’s Your 4 PM Open Thread.
Hey, babe. We’ve been together for quite some time, now. Sure, three months may not seem that long to a lot of people, but I think it’s great. Come on inside. Sit down for a second. I have to ask you something.
Baby, would you be willing to sign a prenup?
NO NO NO, that wasn’t a proposal! Baby, I just wanted to know that if we ever got to that point where we’d be able to–Baby, what ring?! I don’t have a ring. No, I just wanted to know if that was something you’d consider. After all, you never gave my wanting anal or that gang-bang with Jordan Palmer a second thought.
Baby, where ya going? Come back! All I’m talking about is a previously negotiated division of property in the instance of dissolution! Any maybe some more anal! Baby, please!
Oh, you wanted a preview of the actual games? Sheesh. Alright…
Buffalo @ Carolina. Pop Warner offense meets “Pop Goes The Rotator Cuff” offense. Seriously, the Bills have been shitty for quite some time, but what the balls has happened to Jake Delhomme? Ever since he threw 19 interceptions against the Cardinals, he’s been more erratic than corn futures. Does the mob have naked pictures of your wife, Jake? It’s okay, you can tell us…
Jets @ Oakland. I actually am starting JaMaRCuS Russell in one of my seven fantasy leagues this week. I’m not bragging about it. It’s in an 18-team league where my only other viable options are Brady Quinn and Garo Yepremian. But even Russell hasn’t been handing out the ball like Mark Sanchez has been (5 picks against the Bills last week. The fuckin’ Bills, man! And seriously, if you’re one of the seven people still calling him “Dirty” Sanchez, just stop right now. That shit was never half as witty as you thought it was.
Chicago @ Cincinnati. The Bengals are 4-2 and have a chance to reclaim the division lead if they can get past the stoic Cutler and the Bears. I like to think of Cutler as a tall tree on a beach, and the surf is coming in and waves are crashing down on the beach and the tree is just standing there, and he’s thinking, “I don’t give a fuck, I’m a tree.” That’s Cutler to me.
Atlanta @ Dallas. Marion Barber is probable (thigh) so he’ll probably run for 130 yards and 2 TDs. Seriously, this guy would be a lock for the Hall-of-Fame if he could just stretch his career to ten years. But the way he plays, I don’t see it happening. He’ll just be another Eddie George.
New Orleans @ Miami. That’s a Super Bowl preview right there. The Super Bowl’s in Miami, right? Oh, haha, wait you thought…the Dolphins…oh, man, that’s good shit.
Enjoy the 4 pm games. Or don’t. Like I give a fuck.
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That’s almost as awesome as a few years ago when Boomer Esiason talked about Peyton Manning ending up the next Dan Marino while sitting right next to Dan Marino. Had Boomer looked at him while saying it, the look on Marino’s face would have had the same effect as opening the Ark of the Covenant.
Right now, on Football Night in America, they’re having Tony Dungy break down the Eli Manning-to-David Tyree Giant Snatch in Super Bowl XLII with Rodney Harrison standing right there. That’s pretty fantastic, NBC.
Huh, didn’t know KSK was capable of deleting comments.
You’ll probably soon discover they can also ban commenters, too.
Actually what I’m worried is that they may have the capabilities to have commenters assassinated.
Not that…you know…I know this for a fact or anything.
/please don’t kill me!
@FND – You probably denigrated the Stillers.
did the announcer just call Land Shark Stadium Landmark Stadium?
Otto, where do you live?
Huh, didn’t know KSK was capable of deleting comments.
You’ll probably soon discover they can also ban commenters, too.
If they aren’t going to win, can’t Miami at least have the courtesy to cover?
The Saints just showed why they should be respected.
And I’m definitely getting a man crush on the Breesus!
Oh, Miami. So close.
Gums for miles, that Austin.
The UPS commercial guy really takes away from my gameday experience….
@soulfunk: maybe garbage time picks don’t mean shit to him but they do to my fantasy team damnit!!
Dallas: legitimized
He just said it again LFND. WTF?
Even when Reggie Bush does somethign good… he gets tackled by his own guy.
Did he just say the Saints were in the 4 minute offense?
Wow I haven’t thought about Eddie George in a long time.
It was a typo, but that smile is so freaky I stand by the term “Mightmare”
@ seahawk matt
Ten minutes between posts…
October 25th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
thank you Matty Ice!!…October 25th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
FUCK YOU MATT RYAN!!
I’d smile too all goofy after 2 games like that.
if Miles Austin (4th Q @ 2:10) doesn’t get the Mouth Eyes Treatment, then I don’t know what does. holy moly, those are some chompers.
MILES AUSTIN’S SMILE IS THE NEW MIGHTMARE FUEL!
That’s probably the next Mouth-eyes pic… and I’m already shuddering thinking about it
Seriously, you won’t see that much gum in a Double Bubble factory.
its okay Rob after this non-close game is over they will switch us to the game we actually want to see…
MILES AUSTIN’S SMILE IS THE NEW MIGHTMARE FUEL!
FUCK YOU MATT RYAN!!
We’re going to swtich you now from the game that’s over to the game that’s almsot over and not to the close game.
Fuck. Fox.
It’s a good thing that the Panthers gave Delhomme a shit-ton of money this offseason. Otherwise they might have ended up with a shitty starting QB.
thank you Matty Ice!!
What kind of music is Sulky QB listening to on the sideline?
Yeah, Mr Haney is taking us to Hooterville!
Falcons players getting KTFO all over the place.
Fuck Cedric “I wish I was Ricky” Benson. May he contract leprosy and his dick shrivel and fall off. I could deal with the Bears losing if Cedric were to blow out all three knee ligaments in either leg.
“There’s one thing I don’t understand. The thing I don’t understand is every motherfuckin’ word you’re saying. ”
Limey’d
Oh god, red zone for the Bills again? Please use your best player/my fantasy player this time you stupid knobs.
The fetish tourney is early this year.
BONG goes the dynamite, 3TD’s for Ricky Williams… and he’s on my bench…
thanks dank I just vomited all over my keyboard
I can neither confirm nor deny that I clicked that link.
Matty Ice! Michael Turner! Called in sick!
Are the Bengals trying to rub it the Bears face about Benson? Why is he still in the game? He has like 35 carries already
patrick crayton…… and boom goes the dynomite
JT O’Sullivan! WIN!
dude, are you using t9?
have the falcons ever heard of pass protection for fucks sake
Is Dad here today?
my deepest apologies… yet I still have no clue what the fuck he said
@Mr. Rodgers:
THAT’S DISRESPECT!!!
@first-national-dank
i think i suddenly know how jamarcus russell feels when he tries to read a defense
huh?
How bad are you when the opposing QB is eating a hot dog during the game. Nice move Sanchez
Methinks I should have started Orton on his bye instead of Brees this week.
First National Dank: I need to meet your dealer.
This game would be actually exciting if I didn’t have Drew Brees starting and Carson Palmer on the bench.
Benson thinks that the only thing that could make this day any better is some good old-fashioned Texas boat-drinking to celebrate his recovery from being “blackballed” completely without an provocation or reason whatsoever. Yeah, nothing like some boat-drinking to celebrate how you are a model citizen, unfairly exploited by the industry that has paid him millions of dollars.
@first-national-dank
again in english?
/head asplode
benson was on the bears? you dont say
@Mick: the Raiders could be playing the North Dakota College of Dentistry and the result would be the same…but yes those uniforms are a horrible shade of awful
The Cowboys are ruining my Cutler/Delhomme schadenfreude right now
Benson got tackled by a guy named Danielle… now I know why the Bears cut him.
Sex Cannon>Frown Cannon
Charles Davis is useless. Dick Stockton just asked him to refill his Jim Beam during the game break.
Sulkakke.
/Bears fan
Hey guys, here’s a riddle: You have a 2nd string QB, Terrell “locker room plague” Owens, Lee fucking Evans, and a pretty good RB in Lynch. And you’re at the opponents’ 2. What do you do?
Well easy! If you’re Dick Jauron, you have your off the bench QB throw to your wildly inconsistent 2nd WR.
/Time to start drinking. Heavily. For a very long time.
Okay Bengals have the ball, and a 35 point lead, lets switch to the NO/MIA game, c’mon fox this is just stupid
“watch the eyes of Jay Cutler”… those sulky, sulky eyes
Austin! FUCK YOU ROY WILLIAMS YOU PIECE OF SHIT
not only is little leon and clowney fucking me, now the raiders finally make a goal line stand and jay fucking feely misses the goddamned field goal
MMP you can take the rest of the week off and let the two funny guys do the work on the site.
Out of curiosity, who are the two funny guys?
@leigh: Ok I used that same excuse too. But I didn’t say it like that I swear!
/But seriously, they’re all hurt, and it was fuckin BREES! That man is a tiny QB’ing god.
Those fucks in Buffalo better not give Jackson goal line carries over Beef Moe. What is this fantasy hell in which I live today?
seahawk matt I agree. Witten has a blown a dick this whole year. Fuck I hate the Cowboys.
What the fuck uniform are the Jets wearing?
It seriously took me a minute to figure out who the Raiders were playng against?.
31-3 Bungels that is
but then having a good majority of the fanbase act like guido Tawmmies
THAT LAST GAME WAS A FLUKE! MOST OF AR SECONDARY IS HURT (ROSS, DOCKERY, PHILLIPS)! AMIRIGHT?
/Mickey from Rockaway
Wisconsin must just be shitty for TV, Awful Packer game early, now 31-0 Jets, and 31-3, they can’t show anything better? This is god awful!!